Tonight after work I drove to Wolfchase Galleria to shop for Halloween. Since I plan on being a Flying Saucer Beer Goddess next Friday, I needed to pick up a miniskirt and some thigh-high stockings. Now, the best place to shop for those is Hot Topic, but since my waist is a little larger than the average Saucer waitress, I decided to go to Torrid, which is the Hot Topic for big girls.<\/p>\n
I explained to the sales clerk what I was trying to do. She laughed and thought that was a great costume. She started to show me some Catholic school-girl plaid miniskirts, but I wanted all an all-black outfit. So she picked out a black miniskirt, and looked me over. “You’re probably a size 16 or 18,” she said, and handed me one of each to try on in the dressing room.<\/p>\n
The 16 was so loose that it practically fell off me. I didn’t even try the 18. I brought them back out and she gave me a 14 and a 12 to try on. Even the 12 was loose but it fit. If it hadn’t I would have been out of luck at Torrid, since 12 is the smallest “plus size.”<\/p>\n
She picked me out a pair of thigh-highs to match (they have pretty black bows at the top) and rang me up. Here I am trying to save money and I ended up paying fifty-nine bucks for this crap. And I haven’t even bought the Beer Goddess tank top yet (I’ll get that at the Saucer tomorrow or Sunday). Maybe after Halloween is over I can find a plus-sized girl and sell her this junk and get some of my money back.<\/p>\n
They wrapped up my purchase and put it in a hot pink Torrid shopping bag. I asked if maybe they had a different bag to carry it in, since I’d have to walk the entire length of the mall to get to my car. They didn’t. I considered hiding it under my shirt, but realized that people might think I was shoplifting if I did that.<\/p>\n
Interesting coincidence: On the way home I was listening to the radio and “Arnold Layne” came on. “Arnold Layne” was Pink Floyd’s first single ever, and it’s about a man who likes to dress up in women’s clothing. It was on 98.1’s night show with Alice Cooper as the DJ. Makes sense that a rock star would pick some good music. Anyone who plays Syd-era Pink Floyd is all right in my book.<\/p>\n
As I drove home I was thinking, too bad I don’t have any friends who are drag queens. If I did, they could’ve come with me to Torrid to give me fashion advice. I used to have friends who were drag queens, but fell out of touch with them after Red Square closed in ’95.<\/p>\n
So, tomorrow I’ll buy the Beer Goddess tank top and my outfit will be complete. I’m sure there will be pictures after next Friday’s party.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tonight after work I drove to Wolfchase Galleria to shop for Halloween. Since I plan on being a Flying Saucer Beer Goddess next Friday, I needed to pick up a miniskirt and some thigh-high stockings. Now, the best place to shop for those is Hot Topic, but since my waist is a little larger than … Continue reading “I’m a plus-sized girl, but just barely”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=205"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}