{"id":2970,"date":"2009-01-15T01:17:42","date_gmt":"2009-01-15T07:17:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/?p=2970"},"modified":"2009-01-15T01:17:42","modified_gmt":"2009-01-15T07:17:42","slug":"pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/15\/pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got to-go wings from Kooky Canuck<\/a> tonight.\u00a0 I got the Holy Smokes wings, the equivalent of suicide wings.<\/p>\n

First bite wing 1:\u00a0 Well these aren’t as bad as I remember.<\/p>\n

Second bite wing 1 (1 minute later):\u00a0 Okay starting to heat up.<\/p>\n

First bite wing 2 (5 minutes later):\u00a0 Arrrrrgggggghhhh my mouth is on fire.<\/p>\n

Second bite wing 2 (5 minutes later):\u00a0 (Run to the freezer.\u00a0 Dump ice in cup.\u00a0 Pour minimal amount of water on top.\u00a0 Chug, swishing ice water over tongue and mouth)\u00a0 Owwwwwwwwwwwwww.<\/p>\n

Oh.\u00a0 There’s a carrot.\u00a0 A vegetable would be a welcome relief right now.\u00a0 MUNCH… oh wait, that’s not a carrot, that’s a fry that was lying underneath the wings and got covered in sauce… OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!<\/p>\n

First bite wing 3 (10 minutes later after 3 cups of ice water):\u00a0 These wings could star in a monster movie.\u00a0 Kooky Canuck bartender Meghan and Flying Saucer bartender Brittney could co-star as Godzilla and King Kong.<\/p>\n

Second bite wing 3 (10 minutes and 4 more cups of ice water later):\u00a0 Nose running and eyes watering so bad that I can’t see.\u00a0 Decide to put the 9 remaining wings and fries in the fridge for tomorrow.\u00a0 Time for bed, except it will take at least 40 minutes for my lips to stop burning so I can sleep.<\/p>\n

5 minutes later:\u00a0 Accidentally rub eye, not realizing that I still have wing sauce on my finger.\u00a0 Spend the next 20 minutes rinsing out eye with cold water.<\/p>\n

16 hours later, sitting on toilet:\u00a0 OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.\u00a0 I think I’m going to die.<\/p>\n

It’s like a great chef once said: You have to suffer for your food.\u00a0 I wouldn’t have my wings any way else.\u00a0 Looking forward to leftovers for lunch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got to-go wings from Kooky Canuck tonight.\u00a0 I got the Holy Smokes wings, the equivalent of suicide wings. First bite wing 1:\u00a0 Well these aren’t as bad as I remember. Second bite wing 1 (1 minute later):\u00a0 Okay starting to heat up. First bite wing 2 (5 minutes later):\u00a0 Arrrrrgggggghhhh my mouth is on … Continue reading “Pain”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2970"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2970"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2970\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2970"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2970"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paulryburn.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}