Drunk post #37468

– Both magnums of wine are gone now. Damn rooftop. Time to go to the liquor store.

Friday I’ll go to the liquor store. Tomorrow (Thursday) I’m determined to forego my own rooftop for the first time in a month and go over to the Peabody to hit on scantily clad bimbos. I know some of my No.10 neighbors read this; if anyone wants to come with me shoot me an e-mail or call.

– I saw a falcon. It perched on our roof for a while, then flew over to the Madison and perched there. All the other species of birds attacked it, except the pigeons which are too dumb. A few years ago the city bought some falcons to try and control the pigeon population. From what I can tell it hasn’t worked.

– Here’s a quiz. This will be a learning experience for all of you but for one of my neighbors in particular. Won’t say which neighbor, but I will say that she had a birthday in the past week. Okay, here goes. You’re leaving town, and you have a plane ticket to fly to another city. About 60-90 minutes before the scheduled departure time you should

A) take a nap because you’re hung over from the wine you drank 2 days ago
B) chill out to your Jack Johnson CD
D) go to Memphis Pizza Cafe for pizza and beer, beer, beer.

– I mean, really. How do you FORGET to go to the airport… If they ever bring back the TV show Three’s Company for new episodes, I know someone who should try out for the part of Chrissy.

– I guess then I would have to be Larry, the horny neighbor. Actually, that’s okay, I could totally get into hanging out at the Regal Beagle. I need a good bar to hang out at.

– I mean, other than the Monkey

– And the Tap Room

– And the Saucer

– And Sleep Out’s

– And Swig

– And the Diamond

– And Earnestine & Hazel’s

– And Raiford’s

– (Interrupted this journal entry to go drink two mugs of beer at the Tap Room. But I’m home now, and damn glad that Sam Walton, genius that he was, decided to carry 12-packs of corn dogs in his stores before he died. Mmmm… corn dogs)

– Holy shit! Buckley’s closed! They had some really good steaks, and reasonably priced. The filet with a side of mushrooms… oh yeah. And the Buckley’s Buds? Good stuff. There’s a note on the door: “Thank you downtown for nine years… we’ve moved to 7213 East Bumblefuck Drive.”

– Or was it “Germantown Parkway”… meh, what’s the dif

– And changing the conversation to restaurants not nearly as good… did Taco Bell just totally run out of ideas with this new CrunchWrap Supreme? I mean, it looks like every bad idea they’ve had in the past 10 years, all wrapped into one. And, Taco Bell being part of a corporation, the CrunchWrap was probably one of several potential new items, and it was voted the best by a focus group. Just think how much the other items must have sucked!

– I miss retro Taco Bell… the original Enchirito topped with lots of cheese and a few black olives and onions… the Beef Burrito… the MexiMelt… the Mexican Pizza… that Mexican hamburger thing they had. The Taco Bell menu circa 1985 was damn near perfect.

– Then again… they have innovated over the years. When the 7-layer burrito came out I had to have one every day for about a month in a row. And the chalupa is a thing of beauty. Gorditas, eh, not so much, I could take or leave them.

– According to the Memphis Flyer, the new exercise craze is erotic dancing – dancing like you’re a stripper, with poles and everything as props. They wrote an article on it this week. Perhaps some of my neighbors who are classically trained in dance will consider branching out. It’s important to be well rounded, you know!

– Back to Three’s Company for a minute… Know who I really thought was hot on that show? Not Chrissy, but her cousin Cindy. Remember her? The tall blonde? Her legs went on for days, and she’d always wear those midriff tops what were just baaaaaarrrely long enough – until she got excited and started jumping up and down.

– And then there’s Janet… girl next door who could TOTALLY work a pair of tight jeans. Bailey Quarters from WKRP deserves to be mentioned for the same reasons.

– All right… just finished my corn dog, so it’s time for bed. Aren’t you glad you took the time to read this? Back tomorrow or the next day. Enjoy the rest of your week!