Friday update: restaurants, vibrators, school food, and more

– I’m finding out that I need to give my posts more descriptive names than “Friday update.” The reason why is that the server that serves the ads at the top of this blog looks at my post titles to determine what ads to display. When I use generic titles like “Friday update,” I get lousy ads, meaning ones that don’t pay very well when people click on them. So, look for my titles to be more colorful (and incorporate some juicy keywords) from now on.

– The Majestic, the new restaurant in the former Gordon Biersch space, opens today. I’ve been looking forward to this for a while. I plan to be sitting at the bar there tonight no later than 6 pm.

– The building at Union and Cooper that used to be an antique mall will be demolished tomorrow morning at 9 am to make way for a new, larger Playhouse on the Square. There’s also a demolition party tonight from 5:30 to 7:30.

– I finally heard some news on the new downtown Blue Monkey… construction will begin next month, and it will indeed be 3 floors with a rooftop deck, seating twice as many people as the old Monkey. And it will have pool tables! Attn Terry aka Black Man… you can look forward to getting your ass whooped on those pool tables many, many times in the years to come. Back in the days of the old Monkey we had to tab out and go to the Saucer when Terry decided that it was time for him to lose some pool games.

– This one is for the ladies: The local chapter of Drinking Liberally is hosting a combination pleasure party/protest Sunday night at Neil’s at 7 pm. Last month, the Tennessee legislature dropped a bill that would have made the sale, advertisement, or exhibition of any 3-D object used to stimulate human genitals (e.g. vibrators, etc.) illegal. The Mississippi courts recently upheld a nearly identical law. So Drinking Liberally is inviting you to come out, purchase some new sex toys if you like, and protest these unbelievably stupid laws. State legislatures have no business in people’s private bedrooms. Bring the most friends to win a Silver Bullet; buy a raffle ticket to win a Rabbit.

– Couple things I left off my schedule in the last post: On Sunday I will stop by Sleep Out’s for a quick drink before heading to Crawfish Fest (I figured people would assume that, but I’m getting “you’re not going to Sleep Out’s?” mail). Also, I’ve got to fit the upcoming Project: Motion performance in my schedule somewhere. Their only performance date that isn’t a conflict for me is Saturday, April 29, so I’ll likely go to their show that evening.

– As you can tell by the timestamp, I’m typing this during my lunch break at my job at the school board. The employee cafeteria is down the hall and the place smells of school food. I still have too many lingering memories of my junior high school cafeteria to eat there. There was the school food “pizza,” rectangular squares of dough covered with imitation cheese and imitation pepperoni. Then there was the school food “burrito,” which had the texture and aroma of an old sweat sock. The school food “sloppy joe” and the school food “barbecue sandwich” were the same thing, but by giving it two different names they could serve it two days a week instead of just one. I’ll never forget the time a friend of mine found an unidentified black metal object in his school food “fish.”

And then there was the all time worst… they only did this one time… the school food “taco dog,” which was a weiner stuck inside a taco shell. No toppings, no mustard to go with it, nothing. They must have been completely out of ideas that day.

I mentioned recently that I won a prize in a poker tournament, in which a chef will come over to my place and cook dinner for me and a few friends. I can assure you that taco dogs will NOT be on the menu.

– And that’s it for now. Time to get back to an exciting afternoon of sitting in a cubicle and writing SQL Server stored procedures. Four more hours…