I pay to park in a garage across the alley from my apartment building. It’s a small garage with tight corners, and recently I’ve had several near head-on collisions as I pulled in and out of the garage. This is my rant to my fellow parkers.
1) The garage is not your personal race track. 35 mph is not an acceptable speed. Not even if you’re late for work. Not even if you’ve had a lousy day at work and you just want to get out of there as fast as possible. Not even if you’re on your way to a booty call. SLOW DOWN. And stay on the right side of the lane as much as possible.
2) Would it really kill you to wait until AFTER you’ve driven out of the garage to start talking on your cell phone?
3) Turn on your lights when you enter the garage. Even if it’s daylight outside. Being able to see the reflection of your headlights as you round a corner lets other people know you’re coming.
4) If you see someone get in their car and they’re within SECONDS of backing out, it’s acceptable to wait on them so you can get their space. It’s *** NOT *** acceptable to sit there and wait three minutes for someone to back out, when there are 5 cars behind you waiting for you to move. Yeah, people do it on the Target parking lot the day after Christmas, but those are hardly the kind of people you look to as role models for good driving manners.
5) If you drive one of those mammoth SUVs, don’t park in the spaces nearest to corners. When you park there, it creates a huge blind spot and people can’t see if another car is coming ’round the corner in the opposite direction. My closest calls have usually been the result of a Yukon or Expedition blocking my view.
6) The garage floor is not your personal trash can. If you’re done with your beer bottle or restaurant to-go cup when you get out of your car, take it with you and throw it away in a proper receptacle. Don’t just leave it sitting there on the ground next to your vehicle.
… And that’s all I can think of. Whew, that’s one I’ve been meaning to type up for a while. Other news:
– Tonight I’ll be at the Saucer for Trivia Night. With Clay’s team tired out after a long New Orleans trip, this may be just the right time for the Rapscallions to open up a can of ass whoopin’.
– There’s also a Grizzlies game tonight. For those of you looking for a pre- or post-game beer, keep in mind that it’s Pint Nite at the Tap Room on Beale – $2.50 for a pint of your choice of about 20 different draft beers. Unlike the Saucer, Stella Artois is available for Pint Nite prices at the Tap Room.
– (2) Memphis vs. (3) Texas A&M, 6:27 PM Thursday. After that game is over (1) Ohio State will play (5) Tennessee. If the Tigers win their game, I’ll be pulling for Tennessee – since the winner of that game will play us next, I’d rather play the lower seed. If the Tigers lose, I’ll have an attitude of “don’t care” – while I usually pull for a school if I have friends who are alumni there, this is a case where I have friends who are alumni of both schools.
– Last night a friend of mine told me that there’s a Romanian girl in this month’s issue of Playboy. He said she’s the hottest girl in the entire magazine. Not surprised. I don’t normally read Playboy – well, no one reads Playboy – I don’t normally look at Playboy, but I guess I’ll have to pick up this month’s issue.
… And that’s all the crap that’s fit to print. Back to work.