Pimp yo bass

You can pimp yo ride, you can pimp yo MySpace page, but if you go to the Flying Fish the new cool thing to do is to pimp yo bass.

This, of course, is part of their Billy Bass Adoption Center where you bring in your unwanted Big Mouth Billy Bass, and the Flying Fish adopts him and gives you a basket of catfish. Recently people have started decorating their Billy Bass (as shown above) before bringing him in.

The adoption wall’s starting to fill up quickly, so if you want to pimp yo bass and score some free catfish, you better do it soon.

Wine recommendations needed

It’s warming up again, and that means rooftop weather – this time I mean MY rooftop, not the Peabody’s. It’s kind of a tradition at my apartment building to hang out with the neighbors on the roof and someone brings a bottle or two of wine and everyone shares it.

I haven’t kept up with recent developments in wine, so I’m hoping my readers can help me out. I’m looking for some summer wines in the $10 range that are easy to drink on a rooftop with friends – ones that I can find at a liquor store like Joe’s or Kimbrough on my way home from work. Any suggestions, please e-mail me. A few days from now, I’ll post reader feedback in a follow-up post.

Make yourself famous on Sunday, trivia results, upcoming events, and more

Just checked the weather forecast for this Sunday’s Rajun Cajun Crawfish Fest and it’s looking good… high 82, low 62, 10% chance of rain. Ladies, this certainly sounds like TUBE TOP weather. Don’t forget my offer… put on a tube top, catch me around town, and I’ll snap a photo of you and publish it in my blog when Tube Top Month kicks off in June. Just want everyone to know that I’ll be at Rajun Cajun for the entire duration of the festival, and except for the first hour when I’m chowing down on crawfish, I’ll be wandering around. I should be easy to find and I will have my camera on me.

Last night the Nuh-Uh Girl’s sister wore a tube top to trivia night and had her picture taken. Daaaaamn she looked SMOKIN’ hot. It makes me wish I didn’t have to wait until June to post the pic, but those are the rules. The Nuh-Uh Sister told me it was the only tube top she owns, but if you ask me she needs to go buy about ten more of them.

We lost at trivia last night… there were two high-point questions where we narrowed it down to two answers, and then guessed the wrong one. If we had gotten both we would’ve had 101 points and tied for first place. I hate it when I feel personally responsible for a loss… one of the questions was, which TV show was the first to produce three #1 music hits? I was leaning toward Ozzie and Harriet, because Ricky Nelson was on the show. Some of the other team members said The Monkees, but I talked them into my answer, which turned out to be wrong. Sorry everyone. The Monkees just seemed too obvious for a 10-point question.

The team member who contributed the most correct answers was Skippy… I guess the sugar rush from his free Ben & Jerry’s cone went straight to his brain and made him smarter. The Nuh-Uh Sister walked down the street and got a free cone as well, and she came up with a correct answer (Andorra – the small country between France and Spain) that no one else knew.

The other downtown trivia team – known this week as Imus and the Nappy-Headed Hos, and formerly known as the Mormons for Gay Polygamy – swelled to 10 members this week. They must have been thinking, “We’re really starting to suck so let’s call every person we can think of and get them up here.” They had female members for the first time this week. I didn’t know they even knew any girls. Even with all those extra people, the team that once bragged about 8 first-places in a row only managed to come in second. Downhill slide, I tell you.

A few events to put on your calendar this weekend:

– There will be a street festival at Highland and Walker this Saturday. Bands, arts and crafts, the usual street festival stuff. Check their MySpace page for more details. They’ll be selling beer this year, unlike previous years – glad they’ve corrected that problem. In fact, they’ll even have a Beer Run this year, a race similar to Downtown’s Wine Race. (By the way – when is Wine Race this year – anybody know?) A lot of the area businesses will be offering food and drink specials, including MO’s, Blue Coast Burrito, and Garibaldi’s.

– There will also be a hot wing contest Saturday at Poplar Lounge, 2586 Poplar. Yummmm. Love me some hot wings.

– For my East Bumblefuck readers, The Dempseys will play the Huey’s on Germantown Parkway Sunday night at 8:30. Also, Get U Some will play the Cordova TJ Mulligan’s Friday night.

– The Dempseys will also play a rare Monday night show at Blues City Cafe at 7 PM. Not like I haven’t seen them a million times already, but seeing them on Monday night (and while the sun is still up) is something of a novelty, so I may go. Of course, they’ll be at the Saucer tomorrow night too.

Go pick up a copy of the Memphis Flyer… the cover story is about the Jerry Lawler/Hulk Hogan match that was scheduled for the FedExForum, and which is now Hogan vs. “The Giant” Paul Wight.

And that’ll do it for now. Apologies for not posting at lunchtime, but I had to sit through an all-day new-employee orientation today at work. Actually, it was pretty good. They had a lady from Risk Management who shared a bunch of tips about keeping people from breaking into your car, including a few even I hadn’t thought of. They also had the best sexual harassment presentation I’ve ever seen – most offices just show you a 10-minute video and that’s it, but the city schools had an attorney who presented 5 case studies and there was lively discussion. It was actually fun. I’ll say it once again, the city schools do a MUCH better job than most Memphians give them credit for.

I still hate all the B.S. and red tape I have to deal with in order to be employed there. Still haven’t had my physical yet – geez, I worked there for a year as a contractor, if I wasn’t physically capable of working at MCS you’d think they’d have realized it by now. And I had to sign – and get notarized – a statement promising to uphold the U.S. Constitution. In my position as a senior application developer I’m not sure what exactly I could do that’s unconstitutional, but whatever.

Dammit… this was supposed to be my quiet night at home but it’s just too nice outside… so off I go.

Nerd notes: Learn .NET, Java J2EE jobs in Memphis

I recently came across a site that may be of use to those of you who program in ASP.NET, C#, and/or Visual Basic.NET. It contains 500 downloadable video tutorials that are easy to follow along. Would be a great tool to improve your skills, or to get started in .NET if you’ve previously programmed using other languages/platforms. Click the banner below to take a look.

Watch over 500 .NET video tutorials

Also, I’ve heard that there are some contract positions available here in town for Java J2EE programmers. From what I’ve been told, this will involve some very high-visibility work for one of Memphis’ largest companies, developing a high-volume application that will be used all over the world. Sounds like this one would look great on a resume. If you have J2EE skills and want to know more shoot me an e-mail and I’ll get you in touch with the people doing the hiring.

By the way… everyone thinks “FedEx” when they hear “one of Memphis’ largest companies”… it’s not FedEx. But from what I’ve heard, this company is a great place to work.

All right, I’m outta here for now, time to go sit in the cubicle some more.

Tuesday update: Iraq for Sale, has-beens, and free shredding

The Memphis chapter of Net Impact will be showing the film Iraq for Sale tonight at the PowerHouse art gallery on G.E. Patterson Avenue. There will be networking with popcorn and wine at 6:30, and the film will be shown at 7:30. Event is free but donations will be accepted. They ask that you RSVP to rsvp@memphisnetimpact.org if you plan on attending.

About the film: Iraq for Sale: The War Profiteers is the story of what happens to everyday Americans when corporations go to war. Acclaimed director Robert Greenwald (Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, Outfoxed, and Uncovered) takes you inside the lives of soldiers, truck drivers, widows and children who have been changed forever as a result of corporate greed in the reconstruction of Iraq. Iraq for Sale uncovers the connections between private security companies making a killing in Iraq and the decision makers who allow them to do so. To learn more about Iraq for Sale please visit http://iraqforsale.bravenewtheaters.com/

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it to Iraq for Sale because it’s Tuesday trivia night. I have a feeling that this may be the week that the other downtown trivia team, Mormons for Gay Polygamy (or whatever they choose to call themselves this time), makes the transition from “serious competition” to “has-beens.” I predict that they’ll finish completely out of the prize money. Who knows though… desperation can be a powerful motivator, so maybe they’ll be able to prove me wrong. Meanwhile, my team the Rapscallions has stepped up their game to a whole new level, and should add to its gift-certificate stash of winnings this evening.

Hmmm… maybe I’ll have the chili cheese fries again while I play. The last time I ordered them the waitress brought them out and said, “Now be careful, the top plate’s really hot.” And I was tempted to reply “just like you.” But I didn’t.

One other news item: If you have a lot of documents you need to shred but you’ve never gotten around to buying a shredder, Cadence Bank can help you out, according to an article this morning in the Commercial Appeal. Cadence will offer free shredding (up to 5 boxes’ worth) at its East Bumblefuck location (7878 Farmington) tomorrow from 9 to 2 and at its Midtown location (1516 Union) Friday from 9 to 2. Their shredders can handle staples, paper clips and bindings, so you don’t have to take them out.

That’s all for now. Possibly a second post to come before lunch hour’s over.

Free ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s tomorrow

Ben & Jerry’s will be giving away free ice cream cones tomorrow (Tuesday, April 17) at participating locations from noon until 8. Here’s a link to a store locator where you can find the nearest B&J’s.

If you’re Downtown, there’s a Ben & Jerry’s at Third and Peabody Place, in the Hampton Inn (entrance faces Handy Park on Third). It’s right around the corner from Crepe Maker, another really good but little known restaurant, so if you’re hungry, stop and get a crepe (or a “creep” as Mikey calls them) before going to get your free ice cream.

Thanks to Otto for the tip.

NBA draft lottery

It’s official, the Grizzlies are guaranteed to finish the 2006-07 season with the worst record in the NBA. That’s not good, except in one respect. It means we have the best chances of any team in the 2007 NBA draft lottery. I spent some time reading the Wikipedia entry about the draft lottery, and I must say, the way it works it rivals the BCS National Championship in terms of confusion. Here’s a summary of what Grizzlies fans need to know.

  • The lottery will be held Tuesday, May 22.
  • The Grizzlies, as a result of their last-place record, have the best chance of any team (25%) at receiving the number-one draft pick. The team with the second-worst record will have a 20% chance, and it goes down from there through the 14 teams that did not make the playoffs. The 14th-worst team has an 0.5% chance of getting the #1 pick.
  • At worst, the Grizzlies will get the 4th pick.
  • The probability of their getting the 2nd pick is 21.5%.
  • Probability of their getting the 3rd pick is 17.7%.
  • Probability of their getting the 4th pick, the worst they can do, is 35.8%.

For complete info you can check out the Wikipedia page, but unless you like math a LOT I suggest you don’t bother with it.

Meat market

Believe it or not, this post is not about THAT type of meat market, where male singles and female singles meet. Actually, that’s a “meet market.”

Back last year, I wrote a blog for the Commercial Appeal called Deal of the Week, where I picked the best deals in consumer electronics. One week I had a reader leave a comment (I had the comments turned on for that blog) asking me to recommend places to buy meats and cheeses. I was at a loss because that’s not my area of expertise.

However – I have heard from two different people in the past week that the place to go to buy top-quality meat at an affordable price is Charlie’s Meat Market at 4790 Summer. That’s in between Stratford and Mendenhall on the north side of the street. One of my regular drinking buddies told me he got four 12 oz. filets for $6 apiece there. Not a bad deal.

Hope this helps. I don’t know the Charlie’s people personally but I’ve heard good things about them from enough sources that I believe they’re the real deal. Check them out if you need meat for a summer cookout.

Flying Saucer raises pool fees; extra money definitely not spent on spell check

The Flying Saucer (at least the Downtown one) has raised their per-game rate for pool to 5 quarters ($1.25).

As per the image above, if you want to play pool at the downtown Saucer you better be ready, willing and able to fill in all five slots. So what are they spending the extra profits on? Apparently not spell check.

D-E-M-P-S-E-Y-S. No apostrophe anywhere in there. They’re your most popular band. Have been for a couple of years. How could you get this wrong? All you had to do was show this to someone who had worked there longer than, say, three months, and they would’ve told you, “Hey, you misspelled ‘Dempseys.'” Good God. I love the Saucer, but, come on guys, you can do better.

Sunday entertainment idea

From time to time I get e-mail asking what there is to do in Downtown Memphis that’s fun and is targeted toward a slightly older crowd (usually meaning mid-to-late 40s) than the usual downtown party scene. Here’s one for you:

The Memphis Jazz Orchestra rehearses every Sunday night at Alfred’s on Beale Street from 5 to 9 PM. Tom Prestigiacomo and others get up and sing, and a lot of jazz enthusiasts dance to the music. Crowd is very friendly. Relaxing way to wind up the weekend.