Friday night recap

Last night I started at the Flying Saucer, where Mikey the Monk did his final Octoberfest blessing of the kegs.

After that I went home and changed into my Halloween costume. The gang reconvened at the Saucer about 8:00.

As you can see John D had on a particularly scary costume. He’s so proud of it that he wears it year-round. Hey, now!

While there I got my picture taken with two of my favorite Saucer girls. These two are absolute sweethearts and great servers. If you go to the Saucer and happen to land in their section please tip them well. Later on in this post we’re going to meet some Saucer waitresses who are not so nice.

We then moved on to the Halloween party at my apartment building, Number 10 Main. As you can see below the event was covered by society columnist Michael Donahue.

And now we take a look at a few of the costumes seen at this year’s Number 10 party. We’ll start with one of my neighbors and a regular blog reader, dressed as a fairy. When I took her picture she asked with hesitation, “….. Are you going to put this on the blog?” Which pretty much guaranteed her a starring role in today’s post.

A popular thing to do in Memphis is to play the race card, and it was certainly played well at the party last night.

Here we see a Catholic priest conveying a blessing on a young boy with his holy juices.

Yep, lots of politically incorrect costumes at the Number 10 party this year.

About 11:45 the unthinkable happened – the party ran out of beer. Needless to say, things wound down very quickly after that. I decided to go back to the Saucer to have one beer and wait a few tables.

Due to unusual circumstances, though, I ended up staying at the Saucer a lot longer than one beer. (How many times have I typed that in a blog post?) Take a good look at the two photos below. The two Saucer girls pictured below practically raped me in front of the pool table while the band played.

They double-teamed me… one would distract me and the other would run by and pull up my skirt, grab my ass, etc. The little blonde in the second picture, with the dark grey pullover, darklights and fake tan, had particularly wandering hands and also stole several dollars out of my tip cup. These girls absolutely violated me and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from the emotional and psychological distress it caused.

This morning I thought about calling my friend Bo who’s a lawyer to see about getting restraining orders against these two, but I came up with a better idea… one that requires help from you, my readers. If you go to the Saucer and happen to get either of these two girls as your server, tip them a penny and write “PAUL’S REVENGE” on the receipt.

After the girls were done molesting me, they asked if they could put makeup on me and I agreed. Why I thought that was a good idea at the time I’ll never know. Wait, I do know: People were buying me Jager. That’s why. So the girls got their purses and applied lipstick, eyeshadow, and whatever that stuff is girls put on their cheeks. They also put ribbons in my hair. Here’s a pic of the final product:

Oh and they put a name tag on me that said “My name is Paula.” I prefer Pauliana as my Beer Goddess name, as it’s a veiled reference to the only girl in Saucer history who was a worse waitress than me.

Stayed at the Saucer until close at 2… thought about Raiford’s but didn’t see the point in paying a hefty cover for only an hour of partying. About 2:15 I got a text from my friends Mikey and Skippy telling me that they took first place in Raiford’s costume contest. Let’s have a look at their costumes:

Can you figure out what they were? Here’s a rear view shot of Skippy:

Total tip money for the evening: $9, although about half of that got stolen and the remainder got soaked with beer. I’m trying to break my $29 record from last year, with two days left in the costume to do it.

On the agenda for today: RiverArtsFest during the day. Tonight it’ll be the Saucer’s Halloween party and then McGuinness.

Brunch will be at the Majestic tomorrow, although it’s possible that a good many of us will be too hung over to make it.

Thanks to those of you who read that I joined Facebook and added me as a friend. There’s still not much to see there yet, as I haven’t had time and likely won’t this weekend. If you want to add me, it’s under my address.

Time to get the day started. Lots more pictures will be taken this weekend.

Drunk post

Went to the Saucer to see The Dempseys tonight. They seemed to be having a really good night, lots of fun. They brought up a Japanese singer to do a couple of Elvis songs, and he rocked it, the moves and everything. Then he turned to Joe the bass player and said, “Why are you so hyper all the time? … I know, Viagra.”

Later in the evening Joe got in a classic quote himself: “I secondhand smoke two packs a day playing this place.” Well said. I feel ya, bro.

In other news… the Nuh-Uh Girl finally talked me into signing up for Facebook. I haven’t done much with my profile yet other than sign up, so there’s not much there to see. But if you’re on Facebook and want to be my friend, hit up my e-mail address. Looking forward to using Facebook, especially since they’ve embraced open source and a lot of cool Facebook apps (widgets) are under development. I resisted MySpace for a long time too but in the year and a half I’ve been a member I’ve used it to get job opportunities and to meet a couple of second cousins I never even knew I had. Despite what Otto says, MySpace is not evil, nor is Facebook.

So, after the Dempseys finished, I moseyed over to EP’s. You remember how I posted earlier in the day that I might go to EP’s? Well, surprise, surprise, my stalker was there. She didn’t know how to dance to ’80s music but DAMN she can wear some jeans. Hung out at the upstairs bar, watched the Michael Jackson Dance Party (which used to happen at another Downtown location, and on a different night of the week) and drank a couple of beers.

Hooper gave me a tour of Hoop’s Bar, scheduled to open in a little more than a week. They just have to put the finishing touches in place. He told me that Downtowners will have a chance to personalize the bar. Can’t wait for it to open.

Speaking of EP’s… next Monday night, their Monday Night Football extravaganza will be graced with the presence of East Bumblefuck Kat. She’ll not only be watching the game, but celebrating her 27th birthday. I look forward to catching up with Kat, buying her a birthday beer and finding out what’s going on in the Dirty Dova.

Been a great day… job interview via phone went VERY well this afternoon. I’m excited about that, and looking forward to a great Halloween weekend. My goal is to fill the camera with pictures (it holds approximately 400). I have the camera battery and spare battery charged, so I’m ready.

After 3. Guess I’ll go to bed now.

The Dempseys. The Saucer. Tonight.

My favorite band THE DEMPSEYS return to my favorite bar tonight at 9:30. It’s been almost three months since I last saw one of their shows, probably a record long time since I met them four years ago. As of right now I have no plans for tomorrow morning, so I’ll likely last all the way through their third set, which they usually wrap up about 1:30 AM. After that I’ll head home, although it’s possible I may detour into EP’s for one beer.

So yesterday I did a post that pretty much listed every place I’ll be for the next week. Then later in the day I found out that my stalker and her little sidekick have been reading my blog. Oh goody. I sure made it easy for her. I may need to hire a bodyguard.

Job hunting this week has been an experience. Had an interview Tuesday afternoon, and as I was getting ready I discovered that I had forgotten how to tie a tie. Thank goodness for Internet access… I found a tutorial that walked me through it.

Then there was the question of what to do with my hair. I’ve grown it out extra long as part of my Halloween costume, but it’s really longer than I would like it for job interviews. I tried tying it in a ponytail, but that just looked stupid. I tried slicking it back, but then it looked like I had a mullet. Finally I got something decent out of it and headed out the door. But I had to get gas and the wind and rain undid my handiwork. I tried to comb it in the bathroom but not much success… the final product made me think, if I bleached it blond I’d look like Ric Flair circa 1988. Whooooo! Oh well. If a company gets its panties all in a wad about hair it probably isn’t a place I’d want to work anyway.

So I had interviews in East Memphis Tuesday and Collierville Wednesday. Collierville sure is a long drive from Downtown. I have a phone interview for a job today that sounds absolutely awesome… hope that one works out. I’m also meeting a friend at the Fish on Monday to discuss some opportunities. So things are looking good, and I still have money left over from consulting to keep me going strong.

Back to the Saucer, because I can’t do a blog post without mentioning it 10 bazillion times. I previously mentioned that the best Beer Goddess ever to walk through the door will be back this weekend. I talked to her and found out she won’t be there Friday night – she’s going to my apartment building’s party and then possibly Raiford’s – but she will definitely be at the Saucer Saturday night, serving beer in a miniskirt. I know a lot of people are looking forward to seeing her again.

I’ll wrap up this post with a link to Ophelia Ford’s noted quotes. Our state senator, ladies and gentlemen. Outta here for now.

Updated Halloween info

Received info about a few more Halloween parties Downtown and wanted to pass on the details.

– Saturday the 27th there will be a party at Itta Bena, on the 3rd floor of BB King’s on Beale, to benefit Methodist Healthcare Foundation and The Med’s sickle cell research program. Minimum $20 donation. Starts at 10, light hors d’ouevres 10 to 11. VIP tables are available, call 258-0777 for more info.

– On Halloween night Big Foot Lodge will host its 3rd annual Big Foot Halloween Bash from 9 to 3. SNAP 94.1 in the house, costume contest with $300 to the winner and huge prizes for 2nd and 3rd, $2 34 oz. Big Foot Coors Lights. Unlike other bars and clubs that jack their entry fee to the moon for Halloween party weekend, there is NO COVER at Big Foot. I’ve said it before and will say it again – you can always count on Big Foot to throw some of the best parties Downtown has ever seen.

– Earnestine & Hazel’s will host the 22nd annual Hell On Earth party Halloween night. Spend a rock n’ roll Halloween with the Subteens, Dan Montgomery, Johnny Lowebow, and many others. If you just want to rock out and don’t want to deal with a crowded nightclub atmosphere that night, this may be the choice for you.

So, here’s a summary of what I know that is going on each night. In parentheses I’ve listed the likelihood that I’ll be at each of these parties.


Private party at apartment building (definitely)
Club Atlas inside Jillian’s (no)
Hollywood Disco aka Raiford’s (probably)


Flying Saucer (definitely)
Dan McGuinness (most probably)
Itta Bena (wish I could, but don’t have time)
Raiford’s (maybe)
Mpact Memphis/Arthritis Foundation Bone Bash at the New Daisy (no)


Big Foot Lodge (definitely)
EP Delta Kitchen (probably)
Hell on Earth at Earnestine & Hazel’s (no)
Will most likely also make an appearance at the Saucer even though it isn’t their party night.

Looking for work… who can help?

As most of you know, I’ve been telecommuting the last few months, taking web design projects on a contract basis. Last week I mentioned that the projects have been drying up, and it may be time for me to get back into the world of full-time employment. Today it occurred to me that I ought to use the biggest networking tool/advantage I have – this blog – to job-hunt. So, if you don’t mind, please take a minute to read the description below, and if you know of anything that sounds right for me, please e-mail me at and let me know. Thanks, I appreciate it.

– For the past three years I’ve been developing websites in ASP.NET/VB.NET with a SQL Server backend (and Access for a few smaller projects). I’ve worked with Visual Studio and both SQL Server 2000 and 2005. I have written DTS packages for SQL Server in the past to run scheduled jobs and to import data from other sources.

– I have also done sites in PHP/MySQL on a consulting basis and for myself as affiliate marketing sites. Although I’ve worked primarily with ASP.NET professionally the past three years, PHP is more or less a similar concept, different syntax, and I’m sure I could handle professional PHP development quite nicely as well.

– At past jobs I’ve been praised for outstanding communication with non-technical clients, and for good documentation. Part of this is because I taught at the U of M for five years (computer literacy and math) and got used to talking to people who don’t have an expert level of understanding.

– I tend to think I write well. Other people apparently do too, as this blog won the Memphis Flyer’s Best Blog award for 2007.

– In the early part of the decade I took an inventor’s idea and programmed it as a stand-alone application using Visual Basic 6. Took it from a prototype idea in Excel to a complete software program, including documentation via Help files and training manuals, and creating a custom installer.

– I know enough graphic design to get by and make a website attractive, but it’s not my strongest point. So if a position has graphic design as its #1 duty, I’m probably not a good fit for that one.

– Although I’m wild and crazy and speak my mind freely when I’m writing this blog, at work I’m a complete professional, and always keep in mind that when I’m there I’m representing the company I work/contract for. Actually, I consider the “blogger” side of me an advantage, as it shows that I’m more well-rounded than the typical programmer/computer guy.

– If education matters, I have a Master of Science in Computer Science (actually Mathematical Sciences, but all 34 hours were in Computer Science courses) from the University of Memphis, and a Bachelor of Arts in Computer Science/Mathematics from Rhodes.

So there you have it. You can check my resume for more details on my work history. I’m open to anything – permanent, long-term contracts, or short-term projects that you may have. I’ve been primarily looking for ASP.NET or PHP web development work, but if you know of other opportunities where my creative talent would be a good fit, I’d be happy to consider those as well. Again, thanks.

Mpact Memphis to celebrate birthday, Mpact Maker awards

Mpact Memphis will celebrate its 6th birthday Thursday night, October 25, at 6 PM at the Monarch at 5400 Park. The event will be held in the common area and poolside patio, and Mpact will provide complimentary beer, wine, and hors d’ouevres.

They’ll also unveil their Mpact Maker awards, where they honor members of the community in Mpact’s age range who have made a difference.

Free for Mpact members, $5 for non-members. They’re requiring members to show their membership card at events now, so be sure to bring yours. More info at Mpact’s website.

What’s the big deal with the police escorts Downtown?

Yesterday I saw a lot of special task force police cars and Secret Service cars heading down Second toward the Civil Rights Museum, and this morning as I made my walk to Walgreens they had Madison blocked off in front of the Madison Hotel.

Here’s what’s going on: The president of Liberia is in town. Liberia’s president is a woman, by the way. Wow, a little country on the west coast of Africa is more progressive in that respect than the U.S. Hopefully we’ll catch up in 2009.