Bob & Roland’s Ninth Annual Stumbling Santa Pub Crawl is tonight

Memphis’ biggest pub crawl of the year is tonight, and you’re invited. If you want to have a good time drinking and stumbling around Downtown Memphis with about 700 Santas tonight while helping the children of Memphis, here’s what you need to do:

– Dress up as Santa. If you don’t have a Santa suit, you can dress as Mrs. Santa, a reindeer, a Christmas tree, a candy cane, or something in the theme of the season.

– Bring a toy. This is not only a pub crawl but a toy drive. The toys go to Porter-Leath, which has about 500 pre-schoolers in its program. Therefore, toys for ages 5 and under are your best bet.

– Show up at the first stop, the Flying Saucer, at 7 PM.

– Bring cash to pay your tabs. If every Santa tries to tab out with a credit card at the same time, it will take forever.

– Bring ID.

– Wear warm clothing underneath your Santa suit. It should be in the mid-20s for the pub crawl tonight, so it will be more like “Shivering Santa” this year. With so many Santas, there are going to be long lines to get into the bars so you will be spending a fair amount of time outside.

– Stay on the route. Only the first stop (Flying Saucer) has been announced. When we leave, go where Bob and Roland tell you to go. Don’t go off and do your own thing. This was a major problem with the Elvis pub crawl back in August. It’s a problem for the pub crawl organizers when they promise a certain amount of people will come to each bar, and only half that number show up because the other half went off on their own.

– One exception to the above (I’m only speaking for myself here, not Bob & Roland): If BB’s is on the route, skip it. It positively sucks as a pub crawl venue. Not enough space and drink prices way too high.

– We’ll be at the Saucer until at least 8 probably, but if you come late the bar may be full and you’ll have to stand outside. Let me repeat, the temperature should be in the mid-20s.

– If you want a Fireball shot, ask how much it is first before you order it. Some bars Downtown charge as much as $7 for Fireball.

– If you plan on hitting the booze hard, designate a driver or bring money for a cab.

– If you plan on eating at any of the pub crawl stops, keep in mind that the Nuh-Uh Girl is doing the crawl, so you may get some “help” finishing your food.

– COLD WEATHER TIP: Tube tops make excellent hand warmers.

Hope to see you there tonight. Let’s be merry and give some kids a wonderful Christmas.