Free monthly event on Metal Museum grounds and more news (Thur update #2)

Tonight the Metal Museum launches Whet Thursday, a free event on the Metal Museum grounds the first Thursday of every month through October. There will be blacksmithing demos, food trucks, gallery talks, live music, and yard games on the grounds. This month the Gourmade food truck will be on site. To kick off the event, Ghost River Brewing will be there handing out FREE BEER. 5-8 PM. This event is friendly to all ages. Free parking is available on Metal Museum Drive.

Creative Works hosts In Good Company: Connections for Creatives tonight from 5:30 to 7:30 at South of Beale. This is a monthly chance to meet up with fellow creatives. Catch up with old friends, find a freelance gig, whatever you want to do.

Celebrate the release of Chris Milam’s new record, Kids These Days, at Loflin Yard this evening. Jana Misener starts off the live music at 8 PM. $5 cover.

The Downtown Tart location in One Commerce Square got some praise from a source that knows a thing or two about food:

Tennessee Equality Project is throwing a Disco Extravaganza Saturday, April 22 from 8 to 11 PM at the High Cotton taproom. Put on your polyester pants and your platform shoes and come boogie down. TEP works for equality for our LGBTQ brothers and sisters, but you definitely don’t have to be LGBTQ to come down and partake in the fun. In fact, it is more important than ever for us straight people to support organizations like this one. $10 suggested donation at the door goes to TEP.

In other High Cotton news, they are having their monthly book club meeting on Sunday, April 30 at 2 PM. Not saying this isn’t a fine way to spend a Sunday afternoon, because it is, but two caveats: 1) That’s the same day as Beale Street Wine Race, one of the most fun and outlandish spectacles of the spring. 2) Might want to read the reviews of this month’s book on Amazon before you buy.

That’s it for now. Got an informal meeting with some of the BBQ teammates tonight at the Silly Goose. The discussion topic is how we are going to steal the baby hippo from the zoo and enter it into the Anything But category at BBQ Fest. I have been saying for years we should enter a hippopotamus, and this is a golden opportunity: We can impress the judges by telling them we locally sourced our entry. This is the second post today, so keep scrolling for this morning’s post. Back tomorrow with more.

“Can we keep him, Paul?” + Thursday news

For my readers who are going to the FedExFamilyHouse Gala, or who wanted to but tickets were sold out: Tickets to the gala’s Late-Night Lounge are still on sale. Dance the night away in the Peabody Hotel’s Continental Ballroom with a DJ, incredible lights, food and beverages. Attendees have the chance to win prizes including Grizzlies tickets, Apple iMac computers and more. The event starts at 9:30 PM Saturday and dress code is cocktail attire (suit, no tie). General admission tickets are $60 and include two drink tickets and light hors d’oeuvres. Honorary Chairs Tony Allen and his wife Desiree will personally give away their gift, and Eli Manning will give away a signed football.

This sounds like fun: Tasting Game Tuesdays comes to the Wiseacre taproom Tuesday, April 18 from 7 to 9 PM. It’s a chance for you to learn all about the different styles of beer as you play a beer tasting game. $20 ticket includes lots of beer samples and snacks.

In other Wiseacre news, their spring seasonal, Boomslang Belgian IPA, will be released next week. To celebrate, they will have a tour and pairing bringing together the Boomslang with the fanciest of all sandwiches, the Bahn Mi. Get tickets here.

The Edge Gets Lit, the alley party celebrating the lighting of Floyd Alley on Saturday, April 29, is seeking artisan vendors interested in having a booth on Vendors’ Row. Download a vendor application here. Festival times are noon to 11 PM with booth setup 7 AM to 11 AM. Booths are only $50, but if you’re an artisan in the Edge District, they’ll take care of you for only $25. They are also looking for artisans to do demonstrations in the alley and side lots.

This Saturday’s Small Shop Saturday (noon-4) in the Ghost River taproom will feature Erica McCarrens Art. Every week you can see and purchase the work of a local artist and maker while enjoying Ghost River craft beer.

Shufflegrit plays The Dirty Crow Inn Saturday at 9.

Nice to see a vacant office building in the Downtown core occupied and improved. Fast-growing Allworld Project Management will be moving into a two-story building at 60 North BB King.

So, Tuesday night I was hanging out at the Silly Goose, with my little green haired troll Perjorie standing on the bar next to my beer. Shorty the cook came up and put this down next to Perjorie.

“Can we keep him, Paul?”

Oh, my… Shorty meant well, but the last thing I need is for that troll to have a pet. She has no idea how to care for a Triceratops, and I’d end up having to feed it. Plus I would have to worry about running into a troll with a Tyrannosaurus Rex as a pet. That could get ugly. Sorry, Perjorie, but no.

Off to work. Possibly a second post later today.

Wednesday update

Yesterday I blogged that the Redbirds will have a big Easter celebration with a candy hunt on the field after the April 16 game. The candy will be dropped from a helicopter. Thanks to Air Traffic Mike for emailing this link about the original candy bomber, Gail Halvorsen. He dropped candy for children during the Berlin airlift of 1948-49. Halvorsen is still alive and kicking at age 96.

Home game 1 and 2 tickets for the Grizzlies in the opening round of the NBA playoffs go on sale Saturday, April 8 at 10 AM. We don’t yet know the seed, the opponents, or the dates or times… but we do know there is nothing like the atmosphere at Grizzlies home games in the playoffs. It’s almost Growl Towel time!

Ghost River is having a pre-game Grizzlies giveaway tonight at their taproom from 5 to 7:30. Lucky fans will win tickets to go to the Grizzlies game vs. Oklahoma City Thunder at FedExForum tonight at 7. For those who don’t win tickets, you can watch the game at the taproom. Yippie Trippie & The Porkstars will have their food truck on site.

There’s a future Grizzlies game you might want to start planning for, the one on Sunday, April 9 at 5 PM vs. the Detroit Pistons. If you’re one of the first 4000 in the gate, you get a Tony Allen pepper grinder.

Four-piece, high energy blues and roots band Sister Lucille comes to Memphis from Southwest Missouri to play The Dirty Crow Inn Friday night from 9 to midnight. Their inspiration comes from Beale Street and they are versed in blues and entertainment.

The taproom manager at High Cotton (who is welcome to come say hello the next time she sees me at Clarence’s bar) feels so strongly that you should come have a beer when they open at 4, that she’s willing to use a double negative to do it.

Also, if you buy a 6 pack of beer in the taproom tonight, you’ll get a free sample of beer as thanks for stopping by.

The Church Health Center has a software support specialist position open.

Daaaaamn. The Memphis Tigers basketball team was expecting to lose Dedric Lawson, but this morning it was announced that his brother K.J. is transferring as well. Not good for Tubby Smith.

Very, very good news for Memphis: The Calvary Rescue Mission is breaking ground on a new homeless shelter. The shelter will be built next to an adjacent building at 960 South Third and will house 112 homeless men a night.

Eric Hughes Trio returns to the Blind Bear this Friday from 9 PM to 1 AM.

The Grand Majestic Riverboat Co. will begin offering one-to-three week riverboat cruises on the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers this fall. Memphis will be one of the port cities.

Russell Westbrook comes to town as the Grizzlies play the Oklahoma City Thunder tonight at 7 at FedExForum.

That’s all for now. Out at the usual place tonight. Back tomorrow.

Big Easter Sunday at the Redbirds: Candy from a helicopter, buffet, catch on the field

Want to do something extra special with the kids this Easter? How about Easter candy dropped from a helicopter, a game of catch on a professional baseball field, a brunch buffet, and a Redbirds game? The Redbirds are offering a special Easter package which includes brunch with the Easter Bunny in the Home Plate Club (menu here and it is definitely kid-friendly – ice cream sundae bar!), a dugout ticket to see the Redbirds vs. Oklahoma City, and catch on the field. After the game candy will be dropped on the field by a helicopter and kids 12 and under will be given a special Easter pail to scoop up their haul. Brunch and catch will be from noon to 1:30 PM and first pitch is 2:05 PM.

The Dirty Crow Inn is doing its first Bike Night tomorrow night, Wednesday, April 5 from 6 to midnight. Come park your bike at the Crow and have some of the 5-star dive bar’s famous wings and burgers.

From the MBJ: Henry Turley reflects on 15 years of Uptown. Turley’s contract as “master developer” of the area expired recently. His vision for the neighborhood was to revitalize it without gentrifying it. I’d say he and his company have done a pretty good job.

Good news. Interest from Wichita State had previously been reported, and now there is interest from the AAC. The addition would give the Memphis Tigers basketball team a quality in-conference opponent, raising their strength of schedule.

Crown Winery will hold a Wineaversary Dinner at Loflin Yard Thursday, April 13 from 7:30 to 10 PM. It will be a celebration of one year of Loflin Yard, with chef Andy Knight pairing for courses with wines. Cost is $65. Reserve by emailing

Didn’t get to see WrestleMania? Watch it at Jerry Lawler’s Place on Beale today.

South Side Supper Club plays their every-other-week engagement at Belle Tavern this evening from 7 to 10 PM.

Win a cigar box guitar, given away by Beale Street Music Fest!

That’s it for now. Hitting happy hour at Silly Goose after work, then over to Belle Tavern for South Side Supper Club.

Memphis Volunteer Week to happen April 24-30 and more Tuesday news

Get ready for Memphis Volunteer Week, by Volunteer Odyssey, April 24-30. Each day of the week there will be a different volunteer opportunity in which you can take part. These include

  • Creating flower bouquets for seniors
  • Teaching kids about plants of the world
  • Prepping burritos for hungry people
  • Reading to the kids at St. Jude (Spanish speaker a plus)
  • Pop-up volunteer party with some projects as short as 60 seconds
  • Beautifying a neighborhood
  • Sharing dessert with homeless families

If none of those work for you, they can also help you become a trail scout at Shelby Farms or a delivery driver for Meals on Wheels. More information on all the volunteer opportunities that week here.

Between now and Easter, look for special Ghost River 901Rocks placed on the Main Street Mall starting at the north end and making their way south to the brewery at Main and Crump. One rock will be placed each day and a hint posted to Instagram. If you find one, it can be redeemed for a free pint at the brewery taproom’s big Easter celebration on the 16th.

Legendary Memphis musician Bobby “Blue” Bland will get his own statue in Downtown Memphis, at the corner of South Main and MLK Jr. Avenue.

The Redbirds are looking for people who want to be a part of Team Rockey for 2017. Team Rockey entertains the crowd during Redbirds games, leading cheers from the top of the dugout, setting up and executing in-game promotions, that kind of thing. You need to be comfortable leading large crowds, but also with interacting with fans one-on-one to give them a great customer service experience.

So, Downtowners… this Saturday, April 8 you could get in an Uber and spend money to ride out to a touristy crawfish festival in another part of town. You could stand in long lines and pay inflated prices for not only crawfish but beer as well. Or… you could come to Crawfish Boil #5 at Max’s Sports Bar. Two pounds of crawfish for $10 and you get corn, taters, and sausage with your order. Beer prices are very reasonable too. May I recommend the PBR for the low price of $2.50 a pint? I have to be in South Main for the Farmers Market anyway, so I think I just might have to stop by. First batch of ‘bugs comes off around 12:30.

You have one more chance this season to do yoga on the Grizzlies’ main court. The class will happen Sunday, April 9 at 12:30 PM. This special ticket gets you not only an instructed yoga class, but a ticket to the 5 PM Grizzlies-Pistons game and a Methodist Healthcare branded yoga mat. $5 of the purchase price of each ticket will be donated to the Methodist Healthcare Foundation. YOGA!

New to Tart’s Downtown location in One Commerce Square is this duck and bacon bahn mi panini.

Wiseacre has told the city they are not positioned to move into the Mid-South Coliseum at this time. This does not mean that Wiseacre won’t eventually move in. However, their exclusive period to sign a lease has ended.

There’s a Tight Pants Party at Loflin Yard Friday, April 14 10 PM-until. DJs Superman, Witnesse, and Loudersoft present ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s synth-pop, disco, and boogie with disco video and real turntables.

That’s it for now. Off to work. Possibly back at lunchtime with more.

Parallelogram: The official polygon of Monday

And then there’s this:

Yep. Sounds about right.

Grizzlies fans who love a good bike ride should circle Sunday, April 9 on their calendar for Tour de Grizz. Participants will meet at Martyrs Park and enjoy Big River Crossing as well as music and entertainment from 1:30 to 3:30. Then it will be time to hop on bikes for the 2-mile ride to FedExForum for the Grizzlies vs. the Detroit Pistons. Ticket packages start at $25 and include a Tour de Grizz T-shirt. You must have your own bike, be at least 10 years old, and have safety equipment (helmet and lights). MPD will escort the bike riders to and from the arena.

If beer and bikes are your thing, join the folks at Revolutions Bicycle CoOp, 1000 S. Cooper, on Saturday, April 8 beginning at 2 PM for a ride to all four Memphis brewery taprooms – Wiseacre, Memphis Made, High Cotton, and Ghost River. You must have your own bike (they won’t be renting), a helmet, lights and a lock. Bring your bike in early for a tune-up at their bike shop prior to the ride.

The Memphis Supper Club has announced its April dinner will be on Tuesday, April 25 at South of Beale at 7 PM. There will be four courses paired with cocktails for $40 (gratuity included). Once everyone is there, the group can decide whether they would prefer to dine inside or outside. Limited to 25 participants. View the menu.

To celebrate New Beers Eve (the day before the anniversary of Prohibition), The Dirty Crow Inn will have a beer tasting with beers from North Little Rock’s Diamond Bear brewery. It will happen Thursday, April 6 from 5 to 8 PM. Live music by Josh Green.

If you’re looking for kitchen work, I am aware of two openings Downtown. First of all, the Silly Goose is looking to hire a cook. Message them on Facebook if interested.

Bluefin is looking for an experienced Brunch Chef. If you live Downtown, that is said to be a plus, but not required.

Doug Carpenter, founder of consulting group DCA, has purchased a building at 11 W. Huling that he will convert into his company’s new office. The building has 8500 square feet of office space and a large private parking lot for customers’ convenience.

That’s it for now. Off to work. Maybe another post later today.

Sunday update

About 9:45 AM yesterday I walked out my front door and started the walk south down Main Street to the Memphis Farmers Market. As I crossed Pontotoc I saw a police car pull up, and an officer got out of the car and walked in the Rumba Room. Then I noticed there was glass all over the sidewalk.

Someone had smashed all the windows at the Rumba Room. One of them had a two and a half foot hole where someone had thrown a large object through the glass. Every window had major damage.


I hate that. I don’t go to the Rumba Room but I have many friends who enjoy salsa dancing there. Its presence adds diversity to Downtown. I hate it that someone disrespected the place.

I also hate it that tourists walked and drove down Main Street yesterday and saw the broken windows, leaving the impression that we are all a bunch of thugs here in Memphis.

About 10 I made it to the Farmers Market. As promised, it was there for us, under the pavilion. The area not under the pavilion sure looked different though.

Just about every square inch not under the pavilion is dug up. The Market is fenced off and you have to enter through the side, rather than what I consider the front of the Market facing G.E. Patterson. Do not let the construction discourage you! Once inside, the Market is the same fabulous place it has always been. There was a good crowd and business was bustling.

The tandoori truck is back! I had people messaging me asking about that yesterday morning. The Fuel food truck and the So Fresh juice truck were there too. Each of them had lines 7-10 people long. Knowing it would take a while to get food, I decided not to make it a food truck day. With no food and a feeling that I was being “watched,” I decided to make an early exit from the Farmers Market and go see Clarence at Earnestine & Hazel’s.

I was only there two minutes before things got crazy at E&H, but I dealt with it the best I could. I had my PBR koozie and my personal assistant Perjorie T. Roll to keep me company.

Perjorie asked why I don’t have a “MY TROLL IS MY CO-PILOT” sticker on the bumper of my car. “Well, for one thing, I don’t think they make those,” I told her. “And besides, I don’t take you to work with me. You’re never in the car.”

Then Perjorie expressed interest in going to The Edge Gets Lit alley party on April 29. She thought that because it’s in an alley, she might find some other trolls there. “Trolls live under bridges, not in alleys,” I replied. “Bums live in alleys. And if it’s bums you want to see, believe me, we don’t have to leave the Downtown core for that.”

I wanted to go over to Max’s to see PBjaRni, but unfortunately duty called. BBQ team business was being discussed at Bardog, and as Deputy Director and Director of Public Relations, Perjorie and I needed to be there. So I tabbed out with Clarence and off we went.

Every year on the BBQ team, there’s a day when my sense of “OMG do we have any clue what we are doing?” goes away and is replaced with a sense of “OK. We’ve got this. We’re going to be just fine.” A long talk with team treasurer Misty on the patio of the Silly Goose made me realize that we can handle any bumps in the road that come along. Misty and I reminded Perjorie that she needs to get her team dues in. “It looks bad when the team leaders don’t pay.”

Mid-afternoon I got handed a present: A new PEZ dispenser. My troll did not care for the new dispenser at all.

Okay. I know that it is a Darth Vader PEZ dispenser and Darth Vader is a male character, but am I allowed to give it a female name?

Let’s get on to the news. First of all, congratulations to the Memphis Grizzlies. They clinched a playoff berth last night with a victory over the Dallas Mavericks.

Yesterday a sponsored video for The Broom Closet – Memphis appeared in my Facebook feed. Not knowing much about that South Main store, I watched the video. They have tarot cards and readings, Reiki sessions, personal growth workshops and metaphysical supplies, including candles… and they even have a “Sucks to Be You” candle. Yeah I know where I will be going to shop for birthday gifts later this year.

The Residence Inn at the Marriott (formerly the Wm. Len) has a rooftop bar now.

It’s called “The View.” Mostly a view of taller buildings near the Wm. Len.

Happy Sunday, YOGA! If you have shoulder pain you might be interested in this session on relieving shoulder tension at Your Inner Yogi next Sunday, April 9, from 1 to 4 PM. Stephanie Congo, BS, RYT, EEMCLP will teach you how to relive pain and improve your posture with easy exercises and postural alignment yoga. $35 early bird price, $45 at the door.

Rain will move in tonight, but it looks like we have a beautiful Sunday Fun Day to enjoy before the rain gets here. I’m going to start it off at D-RANKS with B-RAD at the Blind Bear at 11. Going to abstain from the Fireball because it can’t be an early night to bed… I’ve got WrestleMania to watch! Back tomorrow with more news.

Bonus post: Fantasy booking Wrestlemania

(If you’re not a wrestling fan, you can skip this one. I posted a Saturday update earlier today and I plan to be back tomorrow with more news.)

The show of shows, the biggest event of them all, WrestleMania 33, happens tomorrow night. I will be watching on the WWE Network. I figured I’d do a little fantasy booking in advance of the show. Now, I’m not going to try to book every match, because a lot of them I just don’t care about: The Andre the Giant battle royal, for example. There are a few, however, that I think could provide interesting storylines for the WWE going into the future.

Bray Wyatt (C) vs. Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: For months Orton pretended to be a loyal follower to family father Bray Wyatt, earning his trust. Then Orton turned on Wyatt, burning down the Wyatt Family compound and consuming the soul of Sister Abigail. The widespread belief is that former Wyatt family members Luke Harper and Erick Rowan will return to the flock, giving Bray the help he needs to retain the World title.

I would indeed have Harper and Rowan come down to the ring and beat on Orton when the ref’s back is turned – but over and over and over again, their interference wouldn’t work, with Orton kicking out of pin after pin, with Wyatt on his knees in disbelief each time. Finally more refs and security would emerge from the back, having had enough of Harper and Rowan, escorting them out of the arena and locking the door behind them.

At that point Orton would seize the advantage in the match, slowly wearing Wyatt down. Orton would hit the RKO, but Wyatt would kick out at two. After a couple more minutes of abuse, Orton would connect with a second RKO on Wyatt. Wyatt would again kick out at two. Orton, however, would not be on his knees in disbelief the way Wyatt was earlier…he would be sitting there with a sadistic smile on his face, knowing that Wyatt is just about done and the next RKO will bring the title home. Orton would pace the ring, like a tiger stalking its prey…

… And then the newest members of the Wyatt Family, Broken Matt Hardy and Brother Nero (Jeff Hardy) would pull Orton out of the ring and beat him down. With the ref checking on the nearly unconscious Wyatt, he would miss the action going on outside. After a savage beating, the Broken Hardys roll Orton back in. Wyatt wakes up enough to drape an arm over Orton, and one, two, three. Bray Wyatt retains the World title.

It’s a win for everyone. Bray needs to hold the World title for a while to build up credibility as a main eventer and a cult family leader. As for Orton, losing doesn’t matter, especially when there’s outside interference. He’s perpetually over as a top guy. And, he’ll soon have a new main-event Smackdown star to potentially feud with, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Impact Wrestling (formerly TNA) claims to hold the intellectual property rights to the Broken Hardys gimmick, and the Hardys currently have the matter tied up in court. Vince McMahon could pay some coin to make the lawsuit go away and let the Hardys use the Broken gimmick on Smackdown. With their showmanship, people assume the Hardys are a fit for Raw, but given the moribund state of the tag teams on Smackdown, the blue brand needs them more. Most of the tag teams there are a bunch of jabronis that nobody cares about. The Usos have lost their luster. American Alpha is the team of the future, but nobody knows it because up to this point, they haven’t had any top level talent to feud with. The Hardys can still go, as their TNA run proved, and would bring out the best in American Alpha. At some point the Hardys could leave the Wyatt family, drop the Broken gimmick, and turn face, prolonging their careers even more so.

Luke Harper could be repackaged and challenge Baron Corbin for the Intercontinental title after Corbin beats Dean Ambrose on Sunday. He needs to get away from the Wyatt family association, but is talented enough to be an upper mid-card performer as either a heel or a face.

As for Rowan, I think you send him down to NXT, maybe pair him with a newcomer there and build him back up. His character is a dead end on the main roster.

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon: This is a straight up wrestling match, not a gimmick match that can hide 47-year-old part-timer Shane’s deficiencies. Shane would be toast in a regular match against the man who is perhaps the greatest wrestler in the world today. So, prior to the match, a doctor would come out and say that Shane has suffered an injury as he trained for the match, and is not medically cleared to wrestle.

AJ is totally justified in feeling screwed, and rightfully so. Shane-O-Mac booked World champ Styles to defend against five men in the Elimination Chamber in February, and with the odds against him, Styles was pinned and went on to watch Wyatt win the title. Styles was never granted a fair one-on-one rematch for his title, with Wyatt defending against Styles and John Cena in a three-way match in March. And now, the ultimate insult. Shane was going to rig it so that Styles would not have a match at all on the biggest card of the year. A main-event level star would miss out on a payoff of hundreds of thousands of dollars by missing WrestleMania.

But then Shane would announce, don’t worry, AJ. You WILL have a match at WrestleMania. And your opponent is… Shinsuke Nakamura! Without having time to prepare for his opponent, Styles would be at a disadvantage, and after putting on a 25-minute clinic that would see dueling fan chants of “Thank you AJ” and “Thank you Nakamura” interspersed with “This is awesome,” Nakamura would score the pin.

Styles would get his payday and we’d get to see him perform at a top level, which wouldn’t have happened if he’d wrestled Shane. Yet Styles still would have a beef with Shane – he was booked against one of the top wrestlers in the world on a moment’s notice, deprived of time to study his opponent. The door would be open for a rematch with Nakamura where Styles could get his win back. The door would also be open for a match with Shane at a lesser pay-per-view, which would be fine.

As for Nakamura, he has more than earned his spot on the main roster. Smackdown needs a new top face, and since it is known as “the wrestling brand” Shinsuke is a better fit there than on “the sports entertainment brand” Monday Night Raw.

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker: Reigns is the most underrated wrestler in the WWE. His ring work is absolutely worth of a top spot on the card, and his interview skills have come a long way since he first came up to the main roster. The problem is, it’s been too obvious for years that he was being groomed as The Next Big Thing, the next Cena, the next Rock, the next Austin, the next Hogan. Fans don’t like being told who they are supposed to like. As a result, Reigns, although a face, hears more boos than cheers.

So Reigns would work the match with The Undertaker, being very careful not to do anything to injure the big man or knock him for a loop since that has been a problem in past matches. It would go back and forth for about 10 to 12 minutes, then Reigns would hit his Superman Punch on Undertaker, sending him to the mat in a crumpled pile. Reigns would take a second to sit on his knees and smile and take it all in before scoring the pin, realizing he is going to be only one of two men to beat The Phenom at WrestleMania, perhaps mentally taking a moment to thank his father Sika and his uncle Afa for training him.

… And then Taker would sit up. For the next 5 or so minutes he would take Reigns to school, beating him around the ring. Reigns would narrowly avoid submission by making it to the ropes. He’d take the chokeslam. He’d take the Last Ride. He’d kick out of those, but as the minutes went on, Reigns’ frustration would show. Why can’t he beat a 52-year-old man? And why did the fans have to boo him so relentlessly?

Finally Reigns would snap. He would throw Taker outside, get a steel chair, and smash him with it, drawing the DQ. Reigns would sling Taker across the Spanish announce table, relentlessly beating him with chair shot after chair shot, as well as the ring bell, monitors, microphones, whatever he could find. Each blow to the Undertaker would also be a blow to the Undertaker’s fans, seeing the legend destroyed right before their very eyes, as well as to Taker himself. Reigns’ former teammates Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose would come out to try and reason with him… and they’d eat chair shots too. On and on and on the beating would go, for a good 10 minutes before the entire dressing room came out to pull Reigns away. A stretcher would be rolled out, and Mania would end with the sight of The Undertaker being loaded into an ambulance.

The next night on Monday Night Raw, on the Jumbotron there would be a solemn interview with the doctors taking care of Undertaker. They will tell the crowd that Undertaker’s injuries are too severe, and they have told him that he will never wrestle again. A shot will be shown of Undertaker motionless in his hospital bed, as the fans sit in shock realizing that the legend of WrestleMania has retired, without even a proper sendoff.

Later in the show Reigns would come out and stand in the middle of the ring, cutting the heel promo of his life. He would say he did everything he could, he worked his ass off, he tried to be the very best he could be (which is all true)… and nothing he did was ever good enough for the fans. Screw the fans. It would evoke memories of the night Hollywood Hogan betrayed WCW fans and joined the NWO many years before. Fans would fill the ring with garbage. At that point Reigns would be established as the merciless, monster heel and would finally take his deserved place at the top of the card.

As for Taker, at 52 he could sail off into a well-deserved retirement, having put over the top star of the next generation as is expected on the way out. In addition, he would do so without a loss, leaving Brock Lesnar as the only man ever to beat The Phenom at Mania.

What if Taker isn’t ready to retire? Have him lay low until July, while Reigns piles up victory after dirty victory, bragging every week that he is the man who retired the legend. Then Taker could reappear on TV in July, setting up a rematch for SummerSlam. Reigns should win that match clean to build even more heel heat. Since it isn’t WrestleMania, an Undertaker loss would be less emotional.

If Taker needs to think about how to pull off a fake retirement, all he’d need to do is visit the WWE corporate office in Stamford, CT and go to the video library. Perhaps the greatest ever to lace up the boots, the “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, un-retired twice in his career. In 1983, Cowboy Bob Orton and Dick Slater thought they put Flair out of action for good, but they were wrong. In 1989, Flair came back after Terry Funk piledrived him through a table.

Reigns could take the path of his cousin The Rock – be a hated heel for a couple of years while building up his promo skills to the point that he’s so good that the fans can’t help but sing along with him. At that point you switch him back and he becomes the top face Vinnie Mac has wanted for years, just in time for Cena to hang up the boots.

Those are my thoughts. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading. Apologies for any typos, because I had to get this typed in a limited time. Back tomorrow with Sunday news.

Saturday update

Drink Pints for Mike! happens at the Green Beetle this Sunday, April 2. This is a benefit for Mike Nelson, a cook at the Beetle, who was recently hospitalized following an attempted carjacking. There will be $2 drafts, live music by Chris Hill, and yes, despite Mike’s absence the kitchen will be open. All proceeds will to go the GoFundMe account set up to help cover medical expenses. I can’t say I have had the pleasure of knowing Mike, but mutual friends tell me he is a great guy and the folks at the Beetle terribly miss having his smiling face there.

Retailers, makers entrepreneurs – have you ever thought about having your own store, but aren’t quite sure how to get there? You need to come to Maker Mixer: Edge Alley out in The Edge at 600 Monroe on Thursday, April 13 from 5:30 to 7:30. Get a behind-the-scenes look at Edge Alley, a micro-retail project beginning to blossom, and learn more about the business competition and incentives to help you start or expand your retail business. Learn more at

In the mood for a little live music at lunchtime today? Check out the Center for Southern Folklore, where you will find The Delta Cats, Billy Gibson, and Linear Smith from 11:30 to 1:30.

I’m feeling excited about of my favorite days of the year – Memphis Farmers Market Opening Day! Throughout the season I hope to spotlight some of the vendors who sell under the pavilion at Front and G.E. Patterson (Saturdays, 7 AM to 1 PM) and I will start off today with meat vendor Claybrook Farms’ April Bundle. You get four 12 oz. ribeyes, two 8 oz. filets, four 12 oz. strip steaks, and four 1.5 lb. packages of ground beef. That’s a $185 value, but click the link and you can get the bundle for $150 this month.

The Daily News has a good editorial about ending the shell game of Memphis buildings. Something has to be done about out-of-town investors who sit on their buildings and do nothing to develop them, letting them sit unused and neglected. This has a negative effect on the surrounding neighborhood. The current example is 100 N. Main right now, but let’s not forget the building on Madison that collapsed about five years ago, keeping Madison partly closed for a year.

Check out this CA review: Bedrock Eats: On Solid Ground. The restaurant at South Main and Vance will expand your idea of what healthy eating is all about. They have a grab & go for people on the run, too.

ALSAC, the fundraising arm of St. Jude, plans to build patient family housing on land it acquired from the city at Seventh and A.W. Willis. It traded the former Chism Trail location at 544 Jackson for the parcels of land. The Uptown Community Redevelopment Agency will try to find a grocery store to fill the Chism Trail space.

This tweet by Geoff Calkins of the CA will make a lot of people sad, including me.

Unfortunately I didn’t make it to South Main for Keenon’s fundraiser at Earnestine & Hazel’s last night. The reason why is typical for this time of year… a lot of us on the BBQ team found ourselves in the same place, and started talking BBQ. Time got away from me. If there’s a way to donate to Keenon’s medical bills after the fact, please let me know.

Probably going to do a WrestleMania fantasy booking post at some point in the next 24 hours, then will be back tomorrow morning with the news. Off to the Farmers Market, here, in a bit. Hope you have a wonderful day!