Thursday update

Elton John kicked off his farewell tour, Farewell Yellow Brick Road, this month. Due to overwhelming demand, the tour is adding a FedExForum date of October 30, 2019.

I heard a rumor yesterday that the Downtown core is getting a complete men’s grooming salon, one that will offer pedicures, manicures, and facials for men as well as haircuts and shaves. I have the name and location of the place, but I want to check with the people opening it first and make sure they are OK with me revealing those details. November is the opening date I am hearing.

More good news for men: Shelton Clothiers is back. Tom Shelton has a collection of suits, sport coats, dress shirts and pants, and casual shirts and pants. He can work with you to develop a personal style that looks great on you, and he offers items that are ready-made, made-to-measure, or fully custom. Tom will gladly meet you at your home or office, or at his studio if that is your preference. Tom has helped me pick out clothes before and he is THE BEST.

Jennifer Biggs of The Daily Memphian has a good Bar Talk piece on the 185 whiskeys at McEwen’s.

The 2018-19 Grizzlies promotional schedule is out. Find out which days you need to be at FedExForum to get the best free swag! Highlights include a Marc Gasol grilling apron, a Mike Conley Elf on a Shelf (UGGHH – no disrespect to Conley, just not a big fan of Elf on a Shelf), and a Jaren Jackson Jr. “Shoot” dance figure.

In other FedExForum news, the Harlem Globetrotters will be back January 18.

The 2018 St. Jude Holiday Gift Book is out. This holiday season, you can give gifts that give back to the children’s hospital that never sends families a bill for cancer treatment.

From the Daily Memphian: 25 urban-style apartments have been proposed for Uptown, bordering Main, Saffrans, and Second.

Tomorrow is South Main Trolley Night, and the unveiling of the 2018 RiverArtsFest Fine Arts poster, by artist Maysey Craddock, will be at 409 S. Main from 6:30 to 9 PM, with the actual unveiling at 7.

The Memphis Flyer’s Best of Memphis 2018 results are now online.

The Flyer has more about the bus rapid transit route between Downtown and the University of Memphis area that would dedicate one lane on Second and B.B. King to public transit only.

I’m really saddened by some of the comments I have seen from men about the Kavanaugh hearings, and about the sexual assault allegations brought forth by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and now others.

“Well, if it really happened, Ford would have reported it to the police at the time.”

“How are we possibly supposed to believe someone who waited 36 years to come forward?”

“There was alcohol. She shouldn’t have been drinking if she didn’t want to be assaulted.”

No no no no no. That is not how it works. Most sexual assaults and rapes don’t get reported to the police, for a variety of reasons. Many victims can’t bear to re-live the experience telling the police and then telling it again in court. Victims fear that they won’t be believed. Victims fear that their attacker will come after them and do it again, or worse, try to kill them.

It’s also common for victims to wait many years before telling anyone, even their spouses or their family. Many victims live out their entire life without ever telling anyone. Seeing their attacker rise to a position of power and prominence is often what it takes for victims to tell their story.

As for attempts to marginalize the attack with statements like “she was drunk,” that is just absurd. It is not the responsibility of women to avoid situations where they might be assaulted. It is the responsibility of men to respect women and not assault them.

If you’re wondering why this is such a hot-button issue for me, I am going to share something I’ve never told my readers before: Two times in my life, I have been a secondary survivor of a sexual assault. A secondary survivor is someone who has not been assaulted themselves, but whose life was affected by the assault of another person. I don’t want to go into a lot of detail, but the assaults were on two different women, 12 years apart. I was well into adulthood when the first occurred, and neither victim was a family member of mine.

So anyway, because of being a secondary survivor, I have spent extensive time reading what it’s like to survive an assault – the after-effects in the first few weeks, and then ones that can linger for years or even decades. Many victims develop a form of PTSD. I would strongly encourage all my readers to do some research and better understand what it is like for victims. RAINN is an excellent resource.

As for Kavanaugh himself, I have to ask, why is it so important that the seat go to him? Trump has that short list of highly qualified jurists, vetted by conservative think tanks, and I would bet that many if not most of the judges on that list do not have the black marks on their name that Brett Kavanaugh does. Why not take the easy route and withdraw the nomination? With the help of Mitch McConnell and Chuck Grassley, there is still time to confirm another nominee before midterm elections.

Here’s what I think – I believe Trump has kompromat on Kavanaugh. Trump likely knows highly compromising details about Kavanaugh’s past, details that would ruin his career if revealed. Remember how Trump met with former FBI director James Comey and asked him to pledge a personal oath of loyalty? I bet Trump had the same meeting with Kavanaugh, and unlike Comey, Kavanaugh swore that oath. I think Trump’s trying to get a Supreme Court justice in his back pocket, saying to Kavanaugh “you will vote the way I tell you to vote, and (when applicable) the way Putin tells you to vote.”

All right. Rant over. Back tomorrow with more news.