Paul Ryburn's Journal

Got out of the house about 2 PM… walked to the Saucer, thinking to myself, “I’ll have one beer, then head to Beale for some prime people watching.”  However, nature had other plans… by the end of the beer it was raining pretty hard, so there wasn’t much point going to Beale.  So I stayed at the Saucer through the running of the Kentucky Derby, hanging out with Lee and Bicycle Bobby and former waitress Adrienne, and knocking some of the most boring beers off my quest for my 3rd plate (Bud, Miller Lite, MGD – all bottles).  By the time the Derby had been run, I was ready for a venue change, so I headed next door to the Silly Goose.

A few more contestants have been added to the Goose’s celebrity burrito-eating contest Tuesday night.  Here’s the updated list:

The owners gave me permission to text the Nuh-Uh Girl and invite her to participate, but she wouldn’t do it… too bad, because I think it would be an easy victory for her.

It was still raining as I left the Goose, and I was getting hungry.  “You know, I go to the Voodoo Room in the downstairs of Orleans on Front all the time to see Hoop,” I thought.  “But I never actually go to Orleans to eat.”  So I decided it was time to correct that problem.  I walked over there and got the blackened catfish with red beans and rice.

Clint also brought me a sample of shrimp and grits to try, in an attempt to get me over grits-o-phobia I’ve had since childhood.  I must admit, it was pretty good.

They have some good people working there as well… Kenneth who used to work at EP’s is there, as is my friend Brooks who also works at Sauces, and Colin splits his time between Orleans and Voodoo Room.  You know, up until this point Orleans’ bar has never been on my radar as a happy hour destination, but now that I realize I know so many people there, it may have to be.  Besides, they have a lot of good $4 specials on their happy hour menu.

Bardog Tavern is moving their Cinco de Mayo air guitar contest from 6:30 PM to 8 PM on Tuesday the 5th, because Commercial Appeal TV wants to stop by and film it.  Contestants will rock out atop the bar with their best air guitar moves.  There will be specials on Cabo Wabo silver tequila, Mezcal, Corona beers, and margaritas.

Time to get some sleep and get ready to do it all over again in the morning.  The usual routine of Majestic/Saucer just doesn’t feel right for Music Fest weekend… I think I’ll kick the day off with the Bloody Mary bar at the Silly Goose, and play it by ear after that.  Off to bed… hope the people who attended Music Fest today heard enough good music to make up for getting soaked.

The Red Rooster is having their Cinco de Mayo celebration tomorrow, Sunday, May 3, from 5 PM ’til.  There will be drink specials, sombreros, mustaches, and more.

Also, if you’ve never seen the totally awesome hair band cover band Aquanet, they’re playing the Rooster tonight.  Motley Crue, Ratt, Poison, Winger, and all your ’80s hair metal favorites.

Didn’t go to Music Fest last night… people watching is more fun than the festival itself.  Started off at the Saucer, but the high point of the early evening was definitely standing on the Silly Goose patio with Air Traffic Mike.  Tracy was selling hot dogs on the patio.  Here’s a pic of Air Traffic Mike eating a hot dog:

Air Traffic Mike said the hot dogs Tracy was serving were really good, but I didn’t buy one because the weiners looked slightly off color.  Tracy’s buns looked fantastic though.

While there, I got a look at the celebrity lineup for the Goose’s Cinco de Mayo burrito-eating contest at 8:30 PM on Tuesday, May 5.  Here it is:

John Bragg, Michael Patrick, Paula Raiford and Hoop are among the names.  I think they should invite the Nuh-Uh Girl to enter… she’s a celebrity too (thanks to this blog) and can out-eat anyone on this list.

A little after 10 I headed south to the South Main Dirty Dozen party at the Happy Mexican Club.  Yes, club.  Did you know that, south of the restaurant entrance, there’s a nightclub?  A really nice nightclub, too, with a big dance floor and a good bar.  Great location for the party!  Hung out there for a couple of hours, then I said to my friend Nick, who’s new to Memphis, “You’ve seen Paula & Raiford’s Disco, now do you want to see the other one, Hollywood Disco?”  So we made the short walk to Vance.

We hung out there for a while, then decided we were hungry, and headed over to the Green Beetle to eat, taking a new friend with us.  Ate, then went back to the Disco – they’ve changed the rule, and allowed re-entry there – nice.  After another beer it was time to call it a night… walked outside, and it was pouring rain.  Home was 7 1/2 blocks away.  “This is going to suck,” I thought.  Then the Disco’s limo driver said, “hop in, I’ll give you a ride,” and I got home nice and dry.  I really like the Disco and the only reason I don’t go there more is the distance from home compared to the other one.  They are great people and I really hope Downtown is big enough for two discos.

Attn new friend:  You have my number.  You said you’d call today.  Call me.

Hmmm let’s see what my Facebook friends have been up to… “Amanda has a big hat and is ready for the Kentucky Derby party.”  Confirmation that Amanda is indeed a big dork.  I bet Ptolemy Kat is going to that party too – it sounds like the kind of thing she’d get excited about.  Just checked Kat’s blog for the first time in a couple of months, and the first post mentions the “U-Club.”  It figures.

And Rochelle changed her profile pic to one where she’s wearing a tube top… nice.  Although, I’ve never understood her obsession of taking pics of her feet, and other people’s feet.

The final tally for April – number of times I visited Downtown bars last month:

• Flying Saucer – 40
• Silly Goose – 16
• Bardog Tavern – 10
• Paula & Raiford’s Disco – 4
• Voodoo Room @ Orleans – 4
• Majestic Grille – 4
• Red Rooster – 1
• Kooky Canuck – 1
• Flight – 1

59 and raining as I type this… yep it’s Music Fest weekend.  I’m about 50/50 whether I’ll go today.  The thing is, if I go, I can get in the Memphis Flyer tent and have free beer all day, and get a guest in too (have not yet selected a guest).  The downside is that I still have to pay for a ticket to get in the park, and get soaked by the rain, and tromp around in the mud, and deal with the idiots in the crowd.  Don’t know… if I don’t go to the fest itself I’ll hang out on Beale Street most of the day, with occasional trips to the Saucer.  Time to get Saturday started… outta here for now.

Never made it to the Peabody’s rooftop party last night, which I’m assuming got moved indoors due to the rain.  Started at the Saucer (Saucer visit number 39 for the month of April), where Woodchuck Pear Cider was the Fire Sale.  Nice!  Had a few of those, then wandered over to the Goose, where I discussed BBQ Fest with the team captain and watched the NBA finals and drank PBR.  By then it was 9:30, and I wondered if the crowd was starting to leave the rooftop and hit the bars, so I walked back over to the Saucer (visit 40) for another Woodchuck Pear.  Saucer was pretty boring though, so I hit Bardog for a beer, then decided to pop in next door at Flight.  Turned out to be a good decision.

“Do I look good enough to come in?” I asked the owner.  I had a T-shirt and shorts and sandals on.  He assured me that I was welcomed, and I took a seat at the bar.  By that time it was past 10, so their late-night menu was in effect.

On the late-night menu:  A cheeseburger, crawfish dip, bacon and bleu cheese fries, a jerked chicken quesadilla, a barbecue pork pizza, a charcuterie (might have misspelled that) plate which is basically a sausage and cheese plate, and conch fritters.  I had the crawfish dip and it was delicious.

I talked with the people who run the place as I ate, and they told me about some of their liquor flights:  They have scotch flights, tequila flights, whiskey flights (Tennessee vs. Kentucky vs. Canadian), vodka flights, gin flights, rum flights, and cordial flights.  They have dessert flights too.

A good first experience there.  I want to go back sometime and try their dinner menu… their fresh fish flight sounds particularly tempting.

Plans for tonight:  I won’t be traipsing through the mud at Music Fest, but I do plan on getting Dirty.  And maybe a little bit sweaty… Mexican sweat.  And I’ll be so thirsty that I may drink a Dozen beers.  Those in the know understand what I’m talking about.

Seen on a T-shirt tonight at the Saucer:

“It’s God’s job to forgive Osama bin Laden
AND IT’S OUR JOB TO ARRANGE THE MEETING!!!
United States Marine Corps”

If you have questions about Music Fest, e.g. Can I bring cameras?, Can I bring umbrellas?, etc., most of the answers can be found on the official Memphis in May stuff you need to know page.

I’ll add a few more things to the list:

1. Absolutely, positively DO NOT by tickets from scalpers. DON’T DO IT. It’s easy these days to buy tickets online from Ticketmaster and print them on your home or work printer. However, scalpers do this too and print many copies of the same ticket and sell the copies. Each ticket has a bar code, so it will only work once, no matter how many times it is printed. Only buy tickets from Ticketmaster, or at the gate, or from people you know and trust.

2. Get Downtown as early as possible for the best parking. A few years ago I had a friend meet me on Music Fest Saturday. She didn’t get Downtown until 5 PM and the closest parking she could find was on Poplar. That’s almost a mile from Tom Lee Park.

3. On the other hand, it may benefit you to park on the outskirts of Downtown, because it will help you avoid the traffic jams in the core around the park as you leave. Personally, if I were coming Downtown, I’d park as close to Danny Thomas Blvd. as possible, with my car facing Danny Thomas so I could just turn onto it and use it as my escape route.

4. If someone charges you to park, make sure that they are a real attendant. They should either have on a uniform, or show you photo ID upon request. If you have any doubt, call 545-COPS. There will be lots of bums out this weekend running parking scams.

5. Buy a pocket-sized rain poncho and carry it in. Gift shops on Beale sell these.

6. Expect whatever shoes you wear this weekend to be completely ruined. Stop by Target or Family Dollar and buy a pair of cheap flip-flops to wear to the park. They don’t call the event “Memphis in Mud” for nothing.

As for tonight:  The Peabody rooftop party sure looks like it will be moved inside due to rain.  Undecided whether I’ll go if it moves inside, or stick to some combination of Saucer, Goose, Rooster, Bardog.

Home at 10:51 PM.  Went to the Saucer tonight, bought their glass of the week.  I had my “I LOVE ROMANIAN GIRLS” shirt on, and a Filipina came up to me and gave me grief for not having a shirt on about her nationality.  So while she was in the restroom I wrote “I love Filipina girls” on a napkin and held it over my shirt as she walked back by.  She told me I misspelled “Filipina” which I knew I didn’t.  Fortuntately I had a friend there and he let me Wikipedia it on his iPhone and show it to her.  Busted.

Maybe I should rethink my international preferences.  According to my website’s tracker Filipinas buy more tube tops than Romanians.

She’s a dietician or nutritionist or something like that.  She’s not going to like this next news item, nor is my health guru AL.  After I left the Saucer I went to the Voodoo Room in the downstairs of Orleans on Front, and bartender Colin told me about the new menu item which sounds AWESOME.  It’s called the “Heart Attack” and it’s sort of a burger.  The buns are two grilled cheese sandwiches.  In between, two meat patties.  In between the meat patties, a fried egg, over easy so the yolk is pouring out in the middle.  We were talking to Chef Clint about it, and he thought it ought to come with a side of comeback sauce.  I didn’t have it tonight, but one of these days I will.  Good thing I don’t have a personal trainer like some of my friends or I’d have to do an extra 2000 situps for that.  Actually, I like to think of all the bartenders at the Saucer as my personal trainers.  Except La-Z-Britt, she sucks.  Tonight was visit number 38 for the month to the Saucer, by the way.

Flight has their menu on their website now.  I still haven’t gone in there yet.  I feel bad about that because I’ve found time to go to the Saucer 38 times this month, and yet they’re half a block from home and I keep walking back and forth past their front door.  I do want to try the place.  Soon, soon.

All right, drunk post over.  Time for bed.

Time to get tonight’s edition of “Stuff People Sent Me to Post” online, so that I can get off the computer and proceed to tonight’s edition of “Paul Gets Drunk at the Saucer.”

First of all, Main Street Dental is hosting a fundraiser called Teeth for Tails to benefit the Mid-South Animal Rescue League. A minimum $100 donation gets you a custom whitening tray. There will also by food by the Porkosaurus BBQ team, a raffle, and more. The event will be held at their office at 99 S. Main from 9 AM to 3 PM on Friday, June 12.

Got the weekly e-mail from Hollywood Disco – that’s the one at 115 Vance that’s been there for 34 years. They’re celebrating Memphis in May with $1 beer all month. They also have free appetizers on Saturday, and are now allowing re-entry. On BBQ weekend they will be open on Thursday.

Another Cinco de Mayo event – the Blues Ball is hosting their Spring Auction at the Warehouse on G.E. Patterson. See flyer below for details:

This week’s “Chicklette of the Week” who wins the “You’ve Got the Look” contest at the Red Rooster will receive a Dooney & Bourke purse. Contest happens Thursday night after the Peabody rooftop ends. The Super 5 will perform as well. Guys, remember what I posted last week – I went there last Thursday and the crowd was about 75% women. Odds are good there.

That’ll do it for now.  Beer, here I come.

Popular food blog Serious Eats ran an article last Friday on Honky Tonk Barbeque in Chicago.  Owner/chef Willie Wagner is head cook for our BBQ team The Ques Brothers, and our 3rd place win last year is mentioned.  Check out the article here.

Thanks to the Nuh-Uh Girl for finding this article.  Is anyone surprised to learn that she reads food blogs?

Bardog Tavern is having a poker tournament in their Underdog Room tonight.  No fee to enter, starts at 7:30, substantial prizes.  It’s being run by Gut Shot Poker and will feature felt tables, blind structures, and regular breaks.  Call (901) 275-8752 to reserve your seat.

Learning about more Mexican-themed parties the first week of May… here’s the list…

Calhoun’s is having a Dos de Mayo party on May 2.  You can participate in a pepper eating contest, and drink Corona and Dos Equis for the chance to win prizes and the party pinata.

The South Main Association will have a Cuatro de Mayo party on May 4.  I’ve posted this one before… it will be at the Arcade Restaurant starting at 5:30.  Free for SMA members, or you can join at the door if you’re not a member.

Bardog will have a Cinco de Mayo party on Tuesday, May 5.  $3 Mezcal, $3 Corona longnecks, $4 Cabo Wabo shots, T-shirt and hat giveaways, air guitar contest with an electric guitar and other prizes.  Fiesta begins at 5:30, contest at 6:30.

Kooky Canuck will also have a party on May 5.  $2 34 oz. margaritas, $3 Corona, $4 1800 shots.  According to their Facebook listing, this is an all-day event, so if you’re not working Tuesday, looks like you can start drinking at 11 AM.

Silly Goose also plans a big Cinco de Mayo bash but is still working out the drink specials.  I know that they’re thinking about doing a burrito eating contest.  Details to come.

Congrats to my trivia team the Rapscallions on a first-place win, bringing our total toward our next party to $160.  We edged out the Weiss Asses with the 30-point bonus question:  Name the original members of the Jackson 5.  They were Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Michael.  Younger brother Randy took Jermaine’s place when the group jumped to CBS Records and Jermaine remained at Motown.

More blog-worthy stuff in the Inbox, so if I get time I’ll do another post at lunch.