Stuff to know for Music Fest

If you have questions about Music Fest, e.g. Can I bring cameras?, Can I bring umbrellas?, etc., most of the answers can be found on the official Memphis in May stuff you need to know page.

I’ll add a few more things to the list:

1. Absolutely, positively DO NOT by tickets from scalpers. DON’T DO IT. It’s easy these days to buy tickets online from Ticketmaster and print them on your home or work printer. However, scalpers do this too and print many copies of the same ticket and sell the copies. Each ticket has a bar code, so it will only work once, no matter how many times it is printed. Only buy tickets from Ticketmaster, or at the gate, or from people you know and trust.

2. Get Downtown as early as possible for the best parking. A few years ago I had a friend meet me on Music Fest Saturday. She didn’t get Downtown until 5 PM and the closest parking she could find was on Poplar. That’s almost a mile from Tom Lee Park.

3. On the other hand, it may benefit you to park on the outskirts of Downtown, because it will help you avoid the traffic jams in the core around the park as you leave. Personally, if I were coming Downtown, I’d park as close to Danny Thomas Blvd. as possible, with my car facing Danny Thomas so I could just turn onto it and use it as my escape route.

4. If someone charges you to park, make sure that they are a real attendant. They should either have on a uniform, or show you photo ID upon request. If you have any doubt, call 545-COPS. There will be lots of bums out this weekend running parking scams.

5. Buy a pocket-sized rain poncho and carry it in. Gift shops on Beale sell these.

6. Expect whatever shoes you wear this weekend to be completely ruined. Stop by Target or Family Dollar and buy a pair of cheap flip-flops to wear to the park. They don’t call the event “Memphis in Mud” for nothing.

As for tonight:  The Peabody rooftop party sure looks like it will be moved inside due to rain.  Undecided whether I’ll go if it moves inside, or stick to some combination of Saucer, Goose, Rooster, Bardog.

I love Filipina girls almost as much as Romanian girls. Also: heart attack, Flight site

Home at 10:51 PM.  Went to the Saucer tonight, bought their glass of the week.  I had my “I LOVE ROMANIAN GIRLS” shirt on, and a Filipina came up to me and gave me grief for not having a shirt on about her nationality.  So while she was in the restroom I wrote “I love Filipina girls” on a napkin and held it over my shirt as she walked back by.  She told me I misspelled “Filipina” which I knew I didn’t.  Fortuntately I had a friend there and he let me Wikipedia it on his iPhone and show it to her.  Busted.

Maybe I should rethink my international preferences.  According to my website’s tracker Filipinas buy more tube tops than Romanians.

She’s a dietician or nutritionist or something like that.  She’s not going to like this next news item, nor is my health guru AL.  After I left the Saucer I went to the Voodoo Room in the downstairs of Orleans on Front, and bartender Colin told me about the new menu item which sounds AWESOME.  It’s called the “Heart Attack” and it’s sort of a burger.  The buns are two grilled cheese sandwiches.  In between, two meat patties.  In between the meat patties, a fried egg, over easy so the yolk is pouring out in the middle.  We were talking to Chef Clint about it, and he thought it ought to come with a side of comeback sauce.  I didn’t have it tonight, but one of these days I will.  Good thing I don’t have a personal trainer like some of my friends or I’d have to do an extra 2000 situps for that.  Actually, I like to think of all the bartenders at the Saucer as my personal trainers.  Except La-Z-Britt, she sucks.  Tonight was visit number 38 for the month to the Saucer, by the way.

Flight has their menu on their website now.  I still haven’t gone in there yet.  I feel bad about that because I’ve found time to go to the Saucer 38 times this month, and yet they’re half a block from home and I keep walking back and forth past their front door.  I do want to try the place.  Soon, soon.

All right, drunk post over.  Time for bed.

Wed update: Animal rescue fundraiser, Hollywood Disco, Blues Ball Spring Auction at the Warehouse, Chicklette of the Week prize

Time to get tonight’s edition of “Stuff People Sent Me to Post” online, so that I can get off the computer and proceed to tonight’s edition of “Paul Gets Drunk at the Saucer.”

First of all, Main Street Dental is hosting a fundraiser called Teeth for Tails to benefit the Mid-South Animal Rescue League. A minimum $100 donation gets you a custom whitening tray. There will also by food by the Porkosaurus BBQ team, a raffle, and more. The event will be held at their office at 99 S. Main from 9 AM to 3 PM on Friday, June 12.

Got the weekly e-mail from Hollywood Disco – that’s the one at 115 Vance that’s been there for 34 years. They’re celebrating Memphis in May with $1 beer all month. They also have free appetizers on Saturday, and are now allowing re-entry. On BBQ weekend they will be open on Thursday.

Another Cinco de Mayo event – the Blues Ball is hosting their Spring Auction at the Warehouse on G.E. Patterson. See flyer below for details:


This week’s “Chicklette of the Week” who wins the “You’ve Got the Look” contest at the Red Rooster will receive a Dooney & Bourke purse. Contest happens Thursday night after the Peabody rooftop ends. The Super 5 will perform as well. Guys, remember what I posted last week – I went there last Thursday and the crowd was about 75% women. Odds are good there.

That’ll do it for now.  Beer, here I come.

Poker at Bardog tonight, Cinco de Mayo week parties

Bardog Tavern is having a poker tournament in their Underdog Room tonight.  No fee to enter, starts at 7:30, substantial prizes.  It’s being run by Gut Shot Poker and will feature felt tables, blind structures, and regular breaks.  Call (901) 275-8752 to reserve your seat.

Learning about more Mexican-themed parties the first week of May… here’s the list…

Calhoun’s is having a Dos de Mayo party on May 2.  You can participate in a pepper eating contest, and drink Corona and Dos Equis for the chance to win prizes and the party pinata.

The South Main Association will have a Cuatro de Mayo party on May 4.  I’ve posted this one before… it will be at the Arcade Restaurant starting at 5:30.  Free for SMA members, or you can join at the door if you’re not a member.

Bardog will have a Cinco de Mayo party on Tuesday, May 5.  $3 Mezcal, $3 Corona longnecks, $4 Cabo Wabo shots, T-shirt and hat giveaways, air guitar contest with an electric guitar and other prizes.  Fiesta begins at 5:30, contest at 6:30.

Kooky Canuck will also have a party on May 5.  $2 34 oz. margaritas, $3 Corona, $4 1800 shots.  According to their Facebook listing, this is an all-day event, so if you’re not working Tuesday, looks like you can start drinking at 11 AM.

Silly Goose also plans a big Cinco de Mayo bash but is still working out the drink specials.  I know that they’re thinking about doing a burrito eating contest.  Details to come.

Congrats to my trivia team the Rapscallions on a first-place win, bringing our total toward our next party to $160.  We edged out the Weiss Asses with the 30-point bonus question:  Name the original members of the Jackson 5.  They were Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Michael.  Younger brother Randy took Jermaine’s place when the group jumped to CBS Records and Jermaine remained at Motown.

More blog-worthy stuff in the Inbox, so if I get time I’ll do another post at lunch.


In my earlier post about the upcoming Pimp & Ho Ball at Earnestine & Hazel’s, I had the date incorrectly listed as Friday, June 6.  That date is actually a Saturday.

Cool technology development at the U of M

This morning I pulled up the University of Memphis’ site to look at their academic calendar, and they had a very interesting article linked from the home page.  Their computer science department, where I got my Master’s degree, has developed a product called AutoWitness, which is a device smaller than a penny that can be attached to a car or pretty much any other valuable piece of property.  AutoWitness is smart enough to know the difference between normal motion, as would be carried out by the property’s owner, and motion that suggests the property is being stolen.  It can notify the police of the theft, and update police computers with its location.  Very very cool.  MPD is very interested in it and it should be deployable within a year, retailing for somewhere in the range of $10 to $20.


Yesterday’s Beale Street Wine Race was the best ever.  I drained a camera battery taking pics, but it’s going to take me a little longer than usual to get them posted.  I have to go through them and divide them into 3 categories:

Bad pictures, to be deleted
Public photo album
Pics to be shared with a select group of friends

May take me the better part of the week to get it done.  I see that other people have already posted Wine Race albums on Facebook… and there’s also a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating off other people’s plates at the Silly Goose’s brunch.

Other than Queen of the Vine, I have no idea who won the Wine Race competitions.  The Red Rooster won Queen of the Vine.

I had 4 Call-a-Cabs.  Ouch.

While there, I got handed a wooden nickel from Bardog.  They’re handing them out around Downtown, and a wooden nickel can be traded in for a nickel PBR.  Aldo said it’s limited to one per customer, so if you get multiple wooden nickels, you might as well share the wealth with friends.  Hey, just noticed that Bardog has a website now!

And now it’s Monday.  Time to go to work.

Pics: Easter Keg party

Two weeks ago, Frank, Stephanie, and I pieced the clues together and found the Easter Keg that the Flying Saucer had hidden somewhere in town (it was at Dish).  Last night we collected our reward – a keg of Dos Equis Lager and a food buffet for 50.


The spread:  A sausage and cheese tray, a veggie tray, and a tray of huge mozzarella cheese sticks.


Air Traffic Mike contributed a box of assorted chocolates, and bought 50 lottery tickets for the party guests.


LAUREN’S BACK!!!  Here she is posing with Alexis prior to the start of her first bartending shift.


One of MANY trips the Nuh-Uh Girl made to the food buffet.


Terry dancing


… and afterward, exhausted from dancing.


Waiting for the keg to be tapped


Mikey staring in amazement at how much the Nuh-Uh Girl eats.


The Nuh-Uh Girl takes a break from eating to scratch off a lottery ticket.  You’ll notice that this is a different plate of food than she had in the last picture.  Stephanie and Susie look confused.  I didn’t keep an exact count how many times Susie used the word “fail” but it was at least 5.  I was a little mad at Susie because I was promised a tube top and didn’t get one.  TUBE TOP FAIL!


Always good to see the South Main Dirty Dozen.

Complete album (61 pics) here. Thanks to the Saucer for a great party.  The keg lasted a lot longer than we thought it would, an hour and a half.  Fun times with good friends… and now we get to do it all over again today at Wine Race.

The cocktail hour at a friend’s condo has been moved to the Majestic Grille, so I’m heading there at 11 to get the day started.

Root root root for the home team

Today’s the Beale Street Wine Race!  28 restaurants and bars compete for prizes and trophies in various events.  I have lots of bars to root for… first and foremost would be my BBQ team sponsor The Silly Goose.  I’ll also be cheering for Bardog Tavern.  And Kooky Canuck.  And Red Rooster.  Not sure if Orleans on Front/Voodoo Room has a team, but if they do I’ll be cheering for them as well.  Saucer never enters Wine Race, which is too bad because I’d really like to see some of their employees in the Queen of the Vine competition.  Calhoun’s doesn’t have enough employees to have a Wine Race team.

Great weather this year too… high 85, low 67, rain very unlikely.  Last year it started raining about halfway through Wine Race and I ended up taking cover at the bar at Kooky Canuck (then Big Foot Lodge).  Meghan was bartending that day… bet they scheduled her for Sunday afternoon on purpose because they realized how worthless she’d be on the Wine Race team.  This year they don’t have to worry about it.

Parade at 1, queen of the vine at 1:30, grape stomp at 2, wine relays at 3.  Wonder who the Rooster is entering in the grape stomp… I hope it’s Sam.

Queen of the Vine entrants… you know how they have that “no nudity or lewd behavior” rule?  That’s a pretty stupid rule, just ignore it.

Heading to a friend’s condo for pre-Wine Race cocktails at 11.  In the meantime I’ll download last night’s photos from the camera.