The great thing about New Year’s Eve is that you can be anyone at all, anyone you want. Here are some personas that are commonly worn on New Year’s Eve in Memphis. Do any of these suit you?
- The guy who tells his group of 14 friends, “I know the GM, let me text her and see if she’ll let us all in for free”
- The girl who cries uncontrollably all evening
- The “nice guy” who lets his female friend crash in his spare room, then takes all her clothes off and has sex with her while she’s passed out
- The group that runs up a $270 tab, writes “N/A” on the tip line and totals the tab out at 270
- The person who pisses himself while lying on the couch in the back room
- The criminal who waits in an alley with a gun, knowing there will be plenty of easy pickings who take the shortcut to the parking garage
- The guy who walks down a residential street going “WOOOOOOOOOOO!” at 4:30 in the morning
- The asshole bar owner who jacks the price of a 32 oz. PBR from $6.25 to $14 for the night
- The woman who’s so drunk that she doesn’t understand why the bartender won’t accept her Chili’s gift card to pay her tab
- The guy who won’t be able to pay his January rent because he ordered bottle service to impress a group of females
- The guy who looks forward to meeting someone new in 2022 – and that someone will be a lawyer to help get him out of the DUI charge he got driving home from the NYE party
- The girl who projectile-vomits all over a table full of strangers
- The person who ended up in the ER because people decided to fire gunshots out their car windows to celebrate the stroke of midnight
- The person who spends half the month of January in the hospital because they caught COVID at the NYE party
- The woman who gets trampled in a stampede on Beale Street
- The guy who spends the entire night consoling his terrified dog because people won’t stop shooting fireworks
- The guy who leaves his credit card at one of the 7 bars he visited on NYE and has no idea which one it was
- The guy who *almost* makes it to the toilet and leaves a sea of diarrhea and his boxer shorts in a stall in the bar’s restroom
Me personally, I’m going to be the guy who stays home on New Year’s Eve because I don’t want to meet any of the people described above.
If you absolutely must get out tonight, Longshot ($100 cover but all-inclusive with open bar, buffet, champagne toast at midnight, and two bands) or Loflin Yard (no cover, DJ, champagne toast at midnight) would be my top recommendations.
From WREG: COVID concerns ahead of New Year’s Eve celebrations on Beale Street. Yup, gunshots are not the only way being on Beale Street on NYE can kill you anymore! One important note from that article: SCHD director Dr. Taylor has requested permission from the state to implement a mask mandate here, but so far that permission has not been granted.
The Grizzlies host the San Antonio Spurs tonight at 7. First 5000 fans in attendance get Dillon Brooks sunglasses. They’ll be without Xavier Tillman Sr., who has been added to health & safety protocols. Dillon Brooks, DeAnthony Melton, John Konchar, and Jarrett Culver are also out due to the protocols, and Ziaire Williams and Sam Merrill are out with injuries. I hope Ja and Jaren are triple-masking and taking plenty of Vitamin C.
So now, I say “Hey Siri,” and my phone, MacBook, and HomePod Mini all think I’m talking to them. It’s like having three cats, all named Kitty.
No, scratch that. Siri actually listens. Cats don’t.
Closings this weekend:
- STIX Downtown will be closed on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day
- Bedrock Eats & Sweets will be open 8-2 New Year’s Eve, closed New Year’s Day
- Tamp & Tap will be closed today through Sunday
- Silly Goose won’t be open during the day New Year’s Day to give employees time to recover from New Year’s Eve
Bowl games today:
- Gator Bowl: Wake Forest vs. Rutgers, 10 AM, ESPN
- Sun Bowl: Washington State vs. Central Michigan, 11 AM, CBS
- Cotton Bowl: Cincinnati vs. Alabama, 2:30 PM, ESPN (CFP semifinal)
- Orange Bowl: Georgia vs. Michigan, 6:30 PM, ESPN (CFP semifinal)
Max’s Sports Bar will open at 2:00 today for the first CFP semifinal game. Max’s will open at 10:30 tomorrow for the Arkansas-Penn State game.
I didn’t have a prediction for the exact score in the Music City Bowl yesterday, but I knew three things:
- Tennessee would lose
- Tennessee fans would fall all over themselves making excuses
- Then those Tennessee fans would start talking about “NEXXXXXXXXT YEEEEEAAARRR”
Check, check, and check.
A buddy of mine actually bet on the Vols yesterday. Dude, what were you thinking? I wouldn’t bet on Tennessee against a bunch of circus clowns! Not that I’d have the chance, since sportsbooks don’t take bets on the annual Orange-White Game.
You can sign up for a free Memphis Jookin’ class to be held at the Halloran Centre on Saturday, February 5. Learn the fundamentals of this dance phenomenon from the people who made it famous: Dr. Rico, Draem, and Surf.
Silly Goose installed a standing bar near its DJ booth yesterday. I like it. It lets you be near the dance floor while still providing a place to park your drink.
From MakeUseOf: Use your smartphone to identify anything
A mixed-use project has been proposed for the corner of E. Butler Avenue and B.B. King Blvd. It would offer more than 300 residential units as well as commercial space. The project would connect B.B. King Blvd. to the South Main Arts District in terms of walkability. Residents of the new apartments would be able to walk across the street for Wiseacre beer and Little Bettie pizza, a rather nice neighborhood amenity.
Grandiose narcissists gotta have each other’s backs:
FOX NEWS: Trump vowed to pardon Ghislaine Maxwell if he wins in 2024.
— The Truth Patriot (@USAlight3) December 30, 2021
WeatherBug’s hourly forecast shows Memphis as cloudy all day with the temp topping out at 73 around 3 this afternoon. Tonight things get interesting:
- 9 PM: 68 / 40% chance of light rain
- 10 PM: 68 / 80% chance of storms
- 11 PM: 68 / 70% chance of rain
- 12 AM: 68 / 40% chance of light rain
- 1 AM: 68 / 50% chance of light rain
Cloudy and holding steady at 68 after that.
Plans for tonight: I’m staying home! If just one bar used truth-in-advertising to promote its NYE bash, I’d consider going there. What would that look like?
“Join us for TWICE THE COVER, HALF THE FUN NIGHT at (insert bar name). Free samples of the hottest trend for 2022, the Omicron variant, for you to take home.”
Back tomorrow if there’s any news to report.