Paul Ryburn's Journal

There was an article on blogging in the Commercial Appeal this morning.  I was quoted in it and got my picture in the paper.  Check it out here.

The article talks about how bloggers have made a difference in the community.  In my case, it talks about how, even though this is a personal blog full of drunk posts and ramblings about tube tops, my ranting about panhandling Downtown led to something being done about the problem.  Specifically, it led to the creation of the Handling-Panhandling online forum, which was part of the push to get private security hired to patrol Downtown’s streets.

I have a feeling I’ll pick up some new readers today because of the article, so I want to clarify my stance on panhandling and homelessness.  A lot of people think they’re the same problem; they’re not.  There are many people Downtown who have the status of being homeless.  I have no problem with them whatsoever because of their status, and agree we need to do more to help them, as they are not getting the services they need.  Most of Downtown’s homeless don’t bother anybody, don’t cause any problems, and I have no problem with them being here.

However, there is a segment of the population who displays the behavior of aggressive panhandling.  It’s this behavior, not the status of homelessness, that I have a problem with.  In fact, most of Downtown’s aggressive panhandlers are NOT homeless; police reports show that most of them have places to live on the outskirts of Downtown, and they come to Downtown’s core to beg for money.  These people are not in need of help, trying to get to a better station in life; rather, they are professionals who have been down here begging for money for years, and have had the time and experience to fine-tune their pitch.  Money is generally used not for food and shelter, but for alcohol and drugs.  Many of them employ gimmicks, such as posing as tour guides, or selling free magazines such as the Memphis Flyer for money.  They also have other ways to make money besides panhandling.  Most of the professional, career panhandlers have criminal records as long as your arm, including not just panhandling arrests, but charges of buglary, vehicle break-ins, aggravated assault, and various other charges.  These people ruin Downtown for everyone else, and they need to go.  If you live, work, or play Downtown, and you’re as sick of these idiots as I am, we have a forum called Handling-Panhandling where you can join and discuss the problem.  We even have pictures posted of some of the more prolific bums (and that’s what we generally call them down here, “bums” rather than “panhandlers”).  It’s a private forum, so you’ll need to explain why panhandling is an important issue to you before you can join.

I was thinking last night… how much money per day is given to panhandlers in Downtown Memphis?  I’m going to venture a guess of $1,500 per day (and that’s a VERY conservative figure).  If we could somehow redirect people’s generosity away from the bums and toward ventures that truly help the homeless, think of the difference that could be made.  The Mid-South Peace and Justice Center makes the very good point that there is no free shelter for the homeless in Downtown Memphis.  If we could find a way to completely redirect people’s generosity, there would be funding for such a shelter.  But how do we do that, when these professional career bums are out on the street, pretending to be homeless and intimidating people to give them money?

Anyway… welcome to my blog, and usually things don’t take such a serious tone here.  Oftentimes I’ll recap the previous night out drinking – which reminds me, last night was closing night for Dan McGuinness in the Peabody Place Mall.  Many of the Downtown regulars were there, and Mikey the Camera Nazi took my camera and got about 100 pictures.  There will be a photo album soon.

There’s also other fun stuff to read on this blog.  June is Tube Top Month, where every post contains a picture of someone in a tube top or mentions tube tops in some way, no matter how irrelevant tube tops are to the rest of the blog post.  I’ve even opened an online store where you can buy tube tops.

If you shoot pool, I also have an online store called How to Learn Pool – check it out as well.  Which brings me to my agenda for this afternoon… I’ll be shooting pool at the Flying Saucer, where my friend Pete will be thinking

But before that, I’ll be at the Majestic Grille for brunch.  $3 mimosas and bloody marys, plus a special breakfast menu.  We have a Sunday brunch crew that does brunch two weeks in a row at the Majestic and two weeks in a row at the Downtown Blue Monkey on a rotating basis.  Next Sunday we’ll be back at the Monkey.

Let’s see… what else needs to be in an orientation post for new readers… I do a lot of “what’s going on around Downtown” posts, announcing concerts, wine tastings and dinners, happy hour nights, etc.  Look for plenty of those in the weeks to come.

Places I hang out (the list on the left menu bar is a little out of date, need to revise it):  1) Flying Saucer; 2) Itta Bena on the 3rd floor of BB King’s; 3) Downtown Blue Monkey; 4) Calhoun’s Sports Bar & Grill on GE Patterson Ave.; 5) Red Rooster; 6) Earnestine & Hazel’s; 7) Hoop’s Bar on the second floor of EP Delta Kitchen; 8) Majestic Grille; 9) Big Foot Lodge; 10) Circa by John Bragg.

What else… I’m on a Memphis in May BBQ Fest team called The Ques Brothers.  It’s mainly a bunch of Downtowners who enjoy partying at BBQ Fest.  But we take our cooking seriously too, and this year we got 3rd place in the World Championship Shoulder category.

Oh yeah… one more online store I forgot to mention – Pro Wrestling Book and Video.  Go buy some stuff if you’re into wrestling.  All proceeds from these stores go toward a very good cause, the Paul Ryburn Drinking Fund.  I have to pay for all the beers I’ll be drinking at Pint Nite tomorrow.  Actually, now that I think about it, I won’t be at the Saucer tomorrow.  But it’ll pay for Pint Nite the following Monday.

Oh and I guess I should mention that I have a job.  I’m a web developer for a start-up company that does background checking services via the Web.  It’s a really cool company and was founded by some of the people who were big names in the IT world in the ’80s (HP, Apple, Sun, etc.)  It’s also cool because the office is a one-block commute from home.  I haven’t seen the car in 15 days.  Occasionally I have to go move it to a different spot in the parking garage so the attendants don’t think it’s an abandoned vehicle.

Okay.  This post is long enough.  I need to get to brunch.  Apologies for any typos – usually I proofread these things before posting but I’m short on time today.

Bobby Durango and Ringo Jukes, two members of the ’80s band Rock City Angels, will perform live at Murphy’s July 3. The Angels are well-known in the industry as one of the best bands that never made the big-time and have always had a cult following. Actor Johnny Depp was in the band for a couple of years before leaving in 1987 to concentrate on acting full-time. Here’s an article where Ringo Jukes describes his experiences with the band.

If you’re not familiar with them as musicians, you may still be familiar with Bobby Durango if you’re a Downtowner. In more recent times, Bobby was one of the best servers Sleep Out Louie’s ever had, and he moved to EP Delta Kitchen for a while after Sleep Out’s closed. He also did some small club performances with musicians Crash Kole and Josh Lemons. I heard he’s been out in California working on some projects recently… will be good to have him back in town. July 3 is a holiday eve when most people can stay out late and not pay for it the next day, so check them out at Murphy’s.  Tube Top Month will be over by then, but I’m sure the band won’t mind if you throw on a tube top to wear anyway.

A couple of Mondays ago, I ran into my new BFF Suzy and a couple of her girlfriends. They wanted vodka, so I suggested we go to one of my favorite restaurants Downtown, Big Foot Lodge. “They have a great selection of liquors,” I told the girls, “and I know we’ll have a fun time there.”

Unfortunately my former BFF was bartending, and after one round she cut us all off. “I’M NOT SERVING YOU,” she told my new BFF Suzy. “YOU’RE ALL DRUNK. I CAN REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE I WANT. Here’s your tab, Paul, pay it.” None of us were actually drunk, not to the point of needing to be cut off. I went in a few days later and asked my former BFF about it. “It wasn’t you this time, Paul,” she said. “Those girls were talking shit about me. I wasn’t going to sit there and have to listen to that all night.”

I asked what they had said. “Well, they said all this stuff about her [Suzy] being a big improvement over the old BFF, meaning me,” she told me. I asked what else. “Well, I can’t remember what all else,” said my former BFF. “But they were saying a lot of stuff and really pissing me off.”

Okay, so the one thing she can remember – her one justification for being so upset – is that Suzy and the girls were saying Suzy is a “big improvement” over her as my BFF. Let’s do a little comparison here:

	Suzy BFF 2.0	Meghan BFF 1.0
When she sees me, she…	Says, “Hi, BFF!” and gives me a hug	Says, “I’M IN A REALLY BAD MOOD, PAUL” or “You need to tip me fat tonight”
Texts/calls just to say hello and ask how I’m doing	All the time	Never
Invites me to parties	All the time	Never
Introduces me to cute girls	All the time	Never
Has an annoying mini-me who follows her around	No	Yes
Expects me to buy her drinks/food	Never	If I don’t: “Paul! You’re not being a good BFF! Come on, this is the kind of thing BFFs do for each other.”
Hangs out at	Itta Bena	Atlas
If I offer a hug, she:	Hugs me	Says, “You want me to actually touch you? That’s kind of creepy, Paul.” If in a really good mood, she’ll follow it up with “No, I’m just kidding.”
If she sees me pass by, and I don’t see her, she calls out:	“BFF!”	“Paul’s a bitch!” or “Paul’s gay!” If in a really good mood, she’ll follow it up with “No, I’m just kidding.”
Can rock a tube top	HELL YES!	DEFINITELY! This category is a draw.

By the way, before I get to my conclusion: There’s a candidate for July BFF of the Month who has both Suzy and Meghan beat in the tube top category, which is no small accomplishment.

So my former BFF accused my current BFF of “talking shit,” and the only example she can provide is that my current BFF said she was “a big improvement.” My question is, can it really be considered “talking shit” if it’s the truth?

The restaurant is having a private party to celebrate its 3rd birthday soon, and they gave me a few extra tickets to hand out.  Needless to say, my BFF Suzy got one of the tickets.  I just hope all my BFFs can get along.  Don’t no one need to be messing up my $2 drinks and beer.

Last night I worked on my newest online store concept until about 10, then went out to Itta Bena for a couple of drinks.  Then I moved on to McGuinness for several more drinks.  About 2 I decided I was hungry, and decided to give Denny’s a shot the second night in a row.

I crossed the intersection at Second and Union… crossed north, then waited on the light to change to cross east.  While waiting, one of the bums who HATES me spotted me from across the street and started cussing me out.  I’ve noticed that this guy has turned into more of a night owl lately, and can be spotted panhandling from Court Square all the way to South Main from about 11 PM on.  Not coincidentally, 11 PM is when the new Downtown safety/anti-panhandling patrol goes off duty.

So anyway, the guy saw me and thought I committed the unforgivable crime of “looking at him.”  (Actually, I was looking at the light, waiting on it to change.)  So he jaywalked cat-a-corner across Union, nearly getting hit by two cars, to get right in my face and cuss me out.  He’s been in a bad mood lately… this is the guy who used to panhandle with his baby mama and months-old baby, until the baby mama got smart and left his ass.

Denny’s was surprisingly good again.  Had scrambled eggs with bits of bacon, sausage, and ham crumbled into them, along with 2 sausage links, 2 strips of bacon, 2 pancakes, and hashbrowns (I can just see my health guru AL shaking her head in disapproval).  This time the place was packed and I assumed I was doomed to a 35-40 minute wait for my food… no, they had it out in only 12 minutes.  I’ve been so impressed with the service that I’ve tipped 50% each of the past two nights.

People-watching was good too.  Looked like mostly the crowd on their way home from Beale Street.  Looked like some had been on the street itself, others in 152 and Alfred’s if I had to guess.  A lot of the girls were drunk and their makeup was running and their tube top dresses were on crooked.

Oh and I discovered that the hotel Denny’s is in has an unsecured wireless network, so I was able to jump on with my cell phone and check my Gmail.  Hmmm maybe I’ll bring my laptop up there and work sometime.

On the way out, I had an encounter with a different bum.  This is the guy who used to charge people to park in metered spaces on Beale (well, that’s a lot of them, but this guy was the worst).  Bum patrol has largely shut him down too, so he has also shifted his activities to late night.  Several times I’ve observed him show up at the corner of Second and Union between 11 and midnight and just stand there – not actively panhandling, and he can’t run parking scams there because there are no metered spaces nearby.  He’s just… there.  Makes me wonder what he’s up to.

On the agenda today:  More work on my next online store… trip to East Memphis to shop for shirts… closing night party at Dan McGuinness tonight.

Came across an interesting site today… have you ever tried to locate a story, or poem, or novel, but you didn’t know its title or author? Maybe you only knew its plotline, or a line from a poem, or a memorable quote. Well, the Library of Congress has a site that will help you find the author and title based on those kinds of searches. Check it out here.

In yesterday’s lunchtime post, I talked about a vendor in Court Square who sells really good hot dogs and Polish sausages. Well, it turns out Memphis Limelight had a post in the works about the same vendor, and it’s now up and she provides a lot more information than my post did. Not only does the guy sell hot dogs, but he’s also an artist with a gallery on South Main.

Last week, I had several females request that I add a strapless bikini top section to the Tube Top Boutique online store. “Women who wear tube tops don’t want tan lines showing,” they told me, “so we need to tan in strapless bathing suits. Also, strapless bikinis offer greater coverage than strapped ones usually do, so a lot of women like them for that reason.” Let it never be said that I don’t listen to my readers. The strapless bikini section has now been added to the store.

If you’re interested in Cats the musical, the Orpheum is running a contest where you can win 4 tickets to the Friday, June 20 opening performance.  “Especially good for families,” the theater points out.  Check out the Orpheum’s blog for details on how to enter.

All right, time to head out… may poke my head in the Saucer, but Itta Bena, the Red Rooster, and next-to-last-night at McGuinness are more likely to be on my agenda.

One of the information sources I use frequently is MySpace. People can post “bulletins” for all their MySpace friends to read… I often get info on what’s happening at places like EP’s, Calhoun’s, and the Red Rooster this way.

One thing I absolutely HATE, though, is when people post multiple bulletins about the same event in a 24-hour period. Only the 10 most recent bulletins display (you can view more, but you have to click a link, which is a lot of work for someone as lazy as I am), and if someone posts a bunch of bulletins in a short time, it causes other people’s bulletins to drop out of the most recent 10. Missed information.

So I have a rule, which I’ve expressed on this blog before, that I will de-friend any MySpace user who posts more than 3 bulletins on the same topic in a 24-hour time period. I’ve been lax about enforcing that rule, but this morning I had to, when one of my MySpace friends posted SEVEN bulletins about her boyfriend’s band’s upcoming show. Seven. That’s ridiculous.  That’s not going to draw seven times more people, and it may even draw less than otherwise because it makes the band look desperate to get people to show up.

Anyway, on to the news… one of the things I learned through MySpace bulletins is that hair band cover band Aquanet will play EP’s Saturday night. I’ve gone on and on about them on the blog before… if you’re into Bon Jovi, Ratt, Poison, Motley Crue, etc. you need to check them out. Bet they’re going to sound awesome on EP’s stage. Not sure I’ll make it because of Dan McGuinness’ closing party, but if I didn’t have emotional ties to McGuinness, EP’s is where I would be.

The newest edition of Web browser Firefox, named Firefox 3, will be released Tuesday, June 17.  Firefox is trying to set a world record for number of downloads in one day.  Details about that here.  Looking forward to the release… Firefox is a much better browser than Internet Explorer.

The Commercial Appeal doesn’t know where Downtown is.  I woke up this morning to the headline CRIME REPORT: Man shot in Downtown Memphis and quickly clicked on the link, disturbed about shootings in my neighborhood.  Once I saw the story, though, I realized it wasn’t a Downtown shooting after all… it was at 40 North Claybrook.  That’s one block west of Cleveland, which is either on the western edge of Midtown or the eastern edge of the medical center district, depending on how you look at it.  In no way would it be considered Downtown.  My former BFF lives around the corner from there, and she describes herself as living in Midtown.  Way to look even more out of touch, CA. 

Probably a good thing gay bar J. Wag’s closed before my former BFF moved to that neighborhood… people might see her walking around and mistake her for a drag queen.

Thankfully, the CA did a better job of reporting on the new Warhol exhibit at the Brooks.  Check out this article by arts writer Skipford M. Blank, and the exhibit itself, if you’re into pop art.

Also in the CA this morning:  The county has voted to withhold tens of millions in funding for the Memphis City Schools.  The state has now reacted by threatening to withhold hundreds of millions.  Hey, guys, is anyone looking out for the kids here?  The more I read, the happier I am that I left my programming job at MCS last year.  I remember when I got hired and my mother was all happy because I had a “safe, secure” job.  Not looking so safe and secure now, between funds being withheld, and King Willie threatening to take over the school district and fire all the employees and make them all re-apply for their positions.  What a disaster.

More news on Dan McGuinness… the Memphis Business Journal, after seeing my blog post, called and confirmed that they are indeed closing Saturday.  The owner told the MBJ that they intend to return Downtown with the Dan McGuinness concept “sooner, rather than later” at a yet-to-be-determined location.  Speculation is that Muvico’s closing will not be far behind, but Muvico and Belz did not return the MBJ’s calls.

Time to get to work.  My stomach didn’t explode from the meal I ate at Denny’s last night.  Here’s a link to their Denny’s All Nighter website.  Take a look at the people pictured on their front page… they all look wasted don’t they?  Hey, I just realized, I hung out at someplace even lamer than Atlas on a Thursday night!  I’ll admit that Atlas is better for tube top viewing though.

Probably another post later in the day.

Tonight I hung out at the Saucer from the time I got off work until the end of the Dempseys’ first set a 11:00.  Needless to say I was hammered.

Upon leaving I decided to go someplace I haven’t gone in years:  Denny’s at Third and Union, open 24 hours.  I ordered one of their combo breakfasts.  Last time I went there (2003 probably) it took 35 minutes to get my food.  This time?  7 minutes.  I timed it.

I’ve thought about this before… about 4 months ago I came up with The Ultimate First Date in my mind.  It consists of 1) The Cove; 2) Raiford’s; 3) Denny’s.  Details:

1)  Get to The Cove about 9-10.  Order food, drinks, whatever.  See if she figures out how unique the place is, and not just a place to get drunk.  The decor, the drink menu, the movies, conversations with the bartenders are all giveaways.

2) Raiford’s around 12-1.  This is slightly early to go to Raiford’s and assumes it’s her first time.  Gives her time to accilimate herself to the place.  If she says, “This sucks, can we go to Senses?”, she’s FINISHED.

3) Denny’s.  This is not for the food (obviously it’s not going to win any awards) but to see if she can laugh.

Yes I just listed Denny’s as an ultimate date destination.

Yes I’m drunk… but I’ve thought about this not drunk many times.

I just heard from a very credible source that Dan McGuinness Pub in the Peabody Place Mall is closing down and their last day will be this Saturday, June 14.  I also heard that a big party is planned for that night.

Of course, rumors have been flying that Peabody Place is going to close down and undergo major remodeling as additional hotel rooms for the Peabody and boutique shops that would appeal to Peabody guests on the first floor.  I had heard June 15 as the date a major announcement about it would be made.  Guess this is evidence that the shutdown is indeed on its way.

More details to come.

I received a text a little while ago that the my favorite beer at the Saucer, Dos Equis Special Lager, is today’s $2.75 Fire Sale.  That means I’ll have an especially extended stay today at the Saucer, rather than waiting to show up at 9:30 to catch the Dempseys.  My favorite band and my favorite beer… life is good.

Got a haircut at a new place at lunch… the creator of the Memphis Limelight blog referred me to Beckii at Rachel’s Salon in the 10 N. Main building.  She did a really good job, took a lot of the bulk out… but it’s still long compared to regular guys’ hair, which is what I wanted.  I’d highly recommend her if you’re looking for a new stylist.  Plus the location can’t be beat… I live at 10 S. Main, get my hair cut at 10 N. Main, and work at 22 N. Front.

While cutting my hair, Beckii recommended The Hot Dog Factory for lunch.  That’s the little hot dog cart in Court Square with the Heinz umbrella.  So I gave them a try.  I don’t expect much from a hot dog but they far exceeded expectations.  They grilled the dogs on a little mini-grill, complete with bun warmer, and they wrapped the kraut in foil and put it on the grill too.  Then they added onions, relish, and mustard (they have ketchup but I told them to hold the ketchup.  Ketchup on hot dogs = gross).  Got some gourmet chips too (Cape Cod jalapeno and aged cheddar).  Their menu says they also have Polish sausage, a Memphis dog with BBQ sauce, a Chicago style dog, and a burger.  They also have combos with chips/BBQ beans and drink.  Check it out if you pass by Court Square at lunchtime.  Now that the Downtown safety patrol is in place, you won’t even have to be worried about bums harassing you while your dogs cook.

Got an e-mail that I forgot an item on the Thursday night “what’s going on” post:  The Orpheum is showing Breakfast at Tiffany’s at 7:00.  “We’re doing that for Girls’ Night,” my reader wrote, “and we’ll have tube top dresses on.  I’m trying to get them to come to the Saucer for the Dempseys afterward.”  Yay for tube dresses!  Yes, come to the Saucer!  Don’t go to Atlas!

All right, time to get back to work.  Four hours and change to go until it’s Dos Equis Lager time!

Here’s a look at what’s going on tonight:

• Cowboy Mouth with opening act Thanks for Nothing at the Peabody rooftop, 6-10 PM.  This is a “name” band so expect more than the usual $5 cover.  Also, lines will be long, so if you’re a rooftop regular you might want to get there an hour earlier than usual.
• Eric Hughes Blues Band on the Madison rooftop, 5:30-10:30 PM.
• Q107.5 patio party with Garry Goin & G3 at EP Delta Kitchen, 9:30-’til.
• Jazz with Andrew Sharp and Matt Gooden on the rooftop terrace of the River Inn of Harbor Town, starting at 6:30 PM.  Rooftop parties have come to Mud Island!  Also, Tug’s restaurant in the Inn will be doing Ladies’ Night with half-off drinks for ladies.
• The Dempseys at the Flying Saucer, 9:30-’til, $3 cover.
• Dova Grove at the Red Rooster, and it’s also Ladies’ Night with no cover for ladies, trip giveaways, etc.
• Brad Webb and Friends at Ground Zero Blues Club, 7:30 PM.
• ’80s for the Ladies Night at Hollywood Disco (formerly Raiford’s), 9 PM-’til, mixed drinks available as well as their signature drink, quarts of Bud Light.
• Amateur Night at Club Lame… I mean, Ladies’ Night at Club Atlas.  People who go to this thing think they’re partying like rock stars.  People who actually do party like rock stars laugh at people who go to Atlas.
• Trivia Night at TJ Mulligan’s Pinch, 8 PM.

I’ll be at the Saucer for The Dempseys, of course.  I think I may grab a drink at the Peabody lobby bar and people-watch for an hour or so before that.  With temps in the mid-90s there should be some good tube top watching there.

I forgot to mention in my previous post, recapping this week’s Memphis Flyer, that Best Pool Partner Ever Lauren was quoted in the article about Calhoun’s.  I may have kicked my original BFF to the curb, but my original BPPE is still going strong.

Possibly another post to come today, we’ll see…