Saturday update: retarded fish, cops cracking down, more

For the first time I actually participated in Fish Races last night at Sleep Out’s. Here’s how it works: They set up two rain gutters near the front of the bar. Two people compete at a time, one in each gutter, dropping a goldfish out of a styrofoam cup into the gutter, behind the start line. Each competitor then squirts his or her fish with a water gun, encouraging the fish to start swimming. First fish to cross the finish line wins. Winner advances, NCAA tournament bracket style, and the overall winner gets a $50 bar tab.

I think I got a defective fish, though. My fish would swim about six inches forward, and then get scared and go back behind the start line. No matter how many squirts I gave him with the water gun, he wouldn’t keep going. What a stupid fish. Doesn’t he realize that his purpose in life is to swim really fast so I can win a free bar tab?

After Fish Races I headed up to Blues City Cafe to see the Dempseys… I got there at 9:30 and as I walked in they were on stage saying, “We’ll be right back after a short break, folks.” WTF? I thought The Dempseys weren’t supposed to even come on until 10:00 or 10:30. I went to the back bar (George Paul’s Last Call) for what seemed like 30 minutes, which is the length of their usual break. But it was more like an hour… oops. I walked back over and the first thing I heard was, “That’s it for tonight, folks. Thank you.” and Ron the drummer got on the mic and said, “Paul! Where you been?” I missed the entire show!

Later on I found out that both The Dempseys and The Gamble Brothers had been booked for the weekend. Last night, The Dempseys went on early with the Gamble Brothers to follow. Tonight, the order is reversed so The Dempseys will take the stage about 11. Maybe I’ll try again tonight. I sure have been hanging out at Blues City a lot lately, wonder what’s up with that?

While I was there I decided I was hungry, and decided to flip a coin to decide between the crab au gratin entree and a half rack of ribs. The ribs won. So I got a platter of ribs and fries and beans and slaw – it was huge, glad I didn’t order the full rack. While I had my back turned some of my ribs and fries got donated to the “Feed Romania” campaign. But that’s okay. I mean, we have to feel a bit of pity for Romania. America has produced all kinds of famous historical figures, including leaders like Washington and Lincoln, inventors like Ben Franklin and Thomas Edison, and sports heroes like Babe Ruth. But who is Romania’s most famous historical figure? A vampire. Dracula. That’s the best they can do. So if I can donate some of my rib platter to help Romania catch up, I’m happy to do it.

Anyway, it was a pleasure to sit at the bar and stare at that beautiful rack. I mean the ribs. Really.

While I was sitting inside Blues City, I looked out the window onto Second and the cops were really cracking down on the cruisers. I mean, they were on foot, approaching every car, and if you were doing ANYTHING wrong – even a tail light out – you got pulled over. It was good to see. I wrote a news article about it on the Residents for a Safer Downtown Memphis website, so click over there for the full story.

Don’t know if they’ll be back tonight, but if you plan on coming downtown to party, I highly recommend you appoint a designated driver or take a cab.

Earlier this afternoon I was sitting at the Saucer, and a guy came in wearing the following T-shirt:

Walking back up to the Union Avenue branch office, I noticed a sign outside Sawaddii advertising that martinis are half-price for the ladies Wednesday and Thursday. So if you’re female, that might be a good pre-rooftop option on Thursdays.

And that’s it for now. I’ll be at Sleep Out’s for my normal brunch shift around noon tomorrow, but I have also heard that it will be a party after 4 – dollar PBR (although that’s every Sunday) and I also heard something about dollar jello shots. And although they’re not on special, I have a feeling duck farts will be consumed. Enjoy your weekend and be safe!