Beale Street Wine Race is this Sunday beginning at 1 PM. This is a competitive event for the staff of area restaurants. It’s also one last opportunity for them to have some fun before the busy season (May through October) kicks in.
There are four parts to the event:
Opening parade – Participating restaurant employees proceed down Beale Street and into Handy Park in their homemade floats.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: The floats, usually with the restaurant’s pageant contestant inside, have come perilously close to being dropped in past years. Many restaurant staffers start drinking hours before the parade.
Queen of the Vine – This is a beauty pageant where the participants design their own costumes and answer interview questions by a creepy host.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: Nip slips, vagina slips. There’s never a shortage of slutty costumes, but the winner almost always combines sexy with classy.
Grape stomp – One member of each team stomps grapes in a metal tub. Whoever produces the greatest volume of grape juice within the time limit wins.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: Participants have been known to rig up hoses inside their jeans and through holes in their shoes, adding the volume of their own bodily fluids to that of the grape juice. Ewww.
Wine relay – Teams of 4 run a dash over hurdles carrying a tray. A wine bottle and glass is added each time a team member tags off to a teammate. The time taken to run the course, along with the amount of wine not spilled, are both used in the judges’ computations to determine a winner.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: Huey’s. I don’t know how much time they spend practicing, but they look like PROS every year.
IF YOU’RE NOT DRIVING: Walk across Beale to Wet Willie’s and get you an aptly-named Call-a-Cab frozen daiquiri.
Wine Race used to be the 2nd-most debaucherous event on the spring calendar. Now that BBQ Fest has jumped the shark, Wine Race is now THE most debaucherous.
I haven’t been around much this spring, but unless the weather is just horrible, I’ll be on Beale Sunday and and I look forward to seeing some familiar faces.
In other news…
The Brass Door will be closed today for some repairs. They’ll be back open Wednesday.
University of Memphis athletic director Laird Veatch is leaving, having accepted a job at Mizzou. Under Veatch, the university got to the Cotton Bowl and arranged a $25 million name, image, likeness deal with FedEx. To use the language of my fellow clients of the Union Mission, he a John Cena-lookin’ ass muthafucka.
Riverside Drive has closed to get ready for RiverBeat Fest, although Tom Lee Park will remain open through this Sunday.
Today is German Beer Day.
Time to rock that iambic pentameter, because it’s also Talk Like Shakespeare Day.
The Memphis Symphony Orchestra will present Tchaikovsky’s Fifth and a Wynton Marsalis violin solo Saturday at the Cannon Center.
Ozzy’s going into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
The Redbirds will host Miranda Lambert at AutoZone Park on September 28, launching its Music on the Diamond series.
The I Love Memphis blog reports that hot spring baths are coming to South Main.
Discover the sport of hurling Saturday at UT Doctors Field, 248 S. Dunlap. Teams from Little Rock, Nashville, and Knoxville will be in town.
Bardog specials today
- Grilled chicken sandwich- lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, bacon, cheddar, BBQ sauce – 18
- Shrimp penne pasta- bell peppers, onions, chipotle garlic butter sauce – 20
- Soups: Beer cheese with pretzel, chipotle chicken & veggies
- Dog: Bacon, onion, bell pepper, ketchup, mustard
- Mussels: White wine, garlic, tomatoes
- Red velvet cake
- Guava cheesecake
Blind Bear specials this week
- Egg drop soup – Lightly seasoned chicken broth, egg ribbons, green onions – cup 6, bowl 10
- Pepper steak stir fry – Tender seasoned steak, crisp bell peppers and onions on a bed of white rice topped with savory sauce – 20
- Colossal cheesecake – Strawberry puree topping – 8
Out with my MacBook. Got a couple of writing projects I want to get done. Back tomorrow with more news.
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