Let’s see what we have in the ol’ Inbox today.
Subj: che@p OEM soft//are ships //orldwide
//ow, this is cert@inly gre@t news. I //@s just thinking, I //ould like to buy some new soft//ware, @nd I don’t //@nt to spend @ lot of money. @nd it’s @ good thing th@t they ship //orldwide, since their e-mail @ppears to have come from Chin@.
From: Gerardo Arrendondo
Subj: Hi I am 25 yo girl and I am bored. I want to chat tonight.
From: Emmett Holmes
Subj: Hi I am 25 yo girl and I am bored. I want to chat this afternoon.
From: Antony Hunyh
Subj: Hi I am 25 yo girl and I am bored. I want to chat
I guess giving girls very masculine-sounding names was all the rage among people who became new parents in 1982. And Antony needs to learn to use his, um, I mean her, spam software better.
Subj: Give your GF the gift of a larger penis!
You want me to buy penis enlargement for my girlfriend? Um, dude, I don’t know what kinds of women you think I date, but I prefer women WITHOUT penises.
Subj: URGENT PLEASE OPEN THIS MESSAGE. we’ve got what women want and need!
Oh cool, it must be a Tupperware sale!
(Okay, I admit it, I stole that one from Les Nessman on WKRP in Cincinnati.)
Subj: If uniwa is not up, send it to munnari and munnari will get it to uniwa eventually.
Huh?
Good to know munnari is on top of things though.
Subj: SU ATENCION POR FAVOR
Sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. (delete)
Subj: YOU’RE A WINNER PRIZE CONF# xl-17is324106
I won a prize! I won a prize!!! Of course, I’ll need to send them my Social Security number, date of birth, bank card PIN#, and permission to withdraw $599.99(*) from my bank account in order to confirm my identity, but that’s all right – I won a prize!!!
(*) Possible additional fees to accrue.
Subj: Buy Vi@gr@ and Ci@li$! E@sy p@yment and $hipping!
Hey, it looks like the guy who sells cheap OEM software has added a side business. Good for him, there are plenty of ways to make money in today’s global economy.
And that’ll do it for the mail bag today. See you later!