Been toying around with an interesting idea lately… I’ve been thinking about changing my middle name. My middle name by birth is Alexander, a name I have absolutely no attachment to. I believe it’s the name of some relative who died long before I was born.
So I was thinking… if I changed my middle name to something beginning with a B, I’d be PBR. How cool would that be… I could walk into Hoop’s Bar or Calhoun’s and tell the bartender, “A PBR for PBR, please!” But what name would I pick? Let’s see:
Paul Baines Ryburn – since Lyndon Baines Johnson was LBJ. Hmmm… that would make me sound presidential. Maybe.
Paul Brent Ryburn – not feeling it. I just don’t see myself as a Brent. Of course, I’ve never seen myself as an Alexander either.
Paul Brett Ryburn – hmmm, most of the Bretts I’ve known in my lifetime are really cool people. Maybe.
Paul Barry Ryburn – hmmm. Not feeling it much. One of the new owners of Raiford’s/Hollywood Disco is named Barry. Maybe I’d agree to name myself after him in exchange for free cover for life.
Paul Benjamin Ryburn – no. There was a kid in junior high named Ben who brought a big black lunch pail to school. He got nicknamed Ben “Lunch Pail” Wilson the very first day. I’m not naming myself after Lunch Pail.
Paul Bush Ryburn – HELL no. I shouldn’t even have to explain this one. Actually, my grandmother’s maiden name was Bush, so there is a family connection. But still – no, no, no, never.
Paul Blaine Ryburn – no. The name Blaine makes me think of Blaine and Antoine, the two flamingly gay movie reviewers from In Living Color. “‘Toine! Don’t be mad! Now this film… is about these hot, sweaty mens… all locked up in prisons together – dropped the soap, I’ll get it! I give this movie two snaps up.”
Paul Blue Ryburn – this one is a serious possibility. It’s good enough to be Pabst Blue Ribbon’s middle name, why not mine? Besides, blue is my favorite color.
Wonder how much trouble it would cause me to change my middle name, as far as credit checks, background checks, that kind of thing? I work for a background checking company, guess I could ask them. Couldn’t be too bad – women change their last name when they get married all the time.
Not something I plan on rushing down to court and doing tomorrow, but maybe one day in the future.