Tonight I had mojitos on Sauces’ patio with my friend AL (those are her first and middle initials, which is the reason they’re both in caps). Conversation with her produced many new blog ideas.
AL has been on a health kick since I first met her in February. She told me that she had an acai berry smoothie at Bluff City Coffee on South Main earlier. The acai berry is apparently even higher in antioxidants than the blueberry. She told me she wants to try the goji berry which is even higher in antioxidants still, but goji berries are something like 20 bucks a pound.
Then AL tried to get me on a health kick. She asked me to describe what I eat and drink on a typical Monday. “Well, I get up about 8, and head to work,” I told her. “I check my e-mail, and if there are no major crises, I head to Jack’s and buy a liter bottle of Mountain Dew.” AL frowned and told me Mountain Dew is full of high fructose corn syrup, which is apparently bad to drink. She asked if I ate breakfast before work, and I told her typically no.
“Paul!” she said. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It has the most affect on your metabolism.” She proceeded to tell me what she eats for breakfast, including a bunch of foreign-sounding stuff (I think “kashi” was mentioned) and berries.
“Well, I do eat breakfast sometimes. If it’s a slow day at work, I’ll walk over to Elliott’s after I bring my Mountain Dew back, and get a Tribute to Bill Saba breakfast sandwich. It’s bacon, sausage, ham, egg, and cheese on toast.”
AL frowned again and then said, “Well, okay, at least you’re getting your protein. And the toast isn’t so bad if it’s whole wheat. Do they use white or wheat toast?”
“I don’t know, I don’t bother to stop and check what kind of toast it is,” I told her. “But I know they cover it with butter.” AL frowned again.
I continued, “For lunch I usually eat out. Today I went to Big Foot because I have a friend working there.”
“Your BFF,” said AL, who reads my blog daily. More on her later.
“Today I got the Asian egg roll salad, just to be different,” I said. “But usually I get something like the Four Cheese Burger, add mushrooms. Or sometimes bacon. And fries.” At least AL and I found something to agree upon as we discussed burgers. We both hate ketchup. Mustard is our condiment of choice.
“So after lunch I get back to the office, fill up the water bottle, and add one of those one-serving Wyler Light (imitation Crystal Light) packets they sell at Walgreens.”
AL lit up. “Paul! That’s great!” she complimented me. “Go on.”
“And then about 2:45,” I continued, “I decide the Wyler Light is kind of boring, and go get another Mountain Dew.” AL frowned again. “But I only get the 20-ounce bottle in the afternoon. Unless I’m having a really stressful day, in which case I get the liter again.”
That took me through the end of the work day. “I get home from work about 5:00,” I told her, “and on a typical Monday I’m back out the door at 5:01 to head to Pint Nite at the Saucer to drink some beer. My all-time record on a Pint Nite is 14 beers, but that’s atypical. On a normal Monday I only drink somewhere between 8 and 13, with 10 being about average.” AL frowned yet again. “After I leave, half the time I’m so tired I just wander home. The other half the time I stop at either Big Foot or Huey’s for Paul’s Drunkass Food. If it’s Huey’s I usually get the nachos.”
AL told me, “I’m going to make you a health food basket of foods you should eat.” She mentioned some type of oatmeal I had never heard of before, as well as turkey-flavored tofu lunchmeat (YUKKKK!!!!!!) that she eats on sandwiches, berries, and some other stuff that sounds no fun at all to eat. Then she said she’s going to throw in a package of Boca burgers too. “They taste just like real burgers,” she said. I have a feeling I will never make fun of Krystal again after eating a Boca burger.
Conversation then turned back to my BFF. AL asked what was the birthday present that I got for my BFF, and I told her. “Paul!” she replied. “That’s a really thoughtful present. Maybe I should be your BFF.” Hmmm. Let’s examine that idea for a moment. AL spent most of the two hours on the patio coming up with ways for me to improve my health (even if they do involve some weird foods), she picked up the tab for our drinks, and gave me a hug as we parted ways. My current BFF on the other hand, never pays for any of my drinks, regularly asks me to buy her drinks, flips me off all the time, insults me, refuses to hug me two-thirds of the time… why is this girl my BFF again?
AL then had another idea. “I know what you could do,” she said. “BFF of the Month. Every month, you could pick a new BFF.” Hmmm, that’s not a bad suggestion at all. Maybe I’ll select a new BFF on May 1.
Then AL followed it up with another suggestion. “You could do a blog post called the BFF Commandments. The rules of being a good BFF.” I LIKE IT.
More good blog ideas followed. “You could do a hotspot of the month,” she said. “Every month you could pick one place Downtown, and spend the entire month writing about different items on the menu, its atmosphere, the crowd.”
“I kind of already do that,” I told her. “It’s just that the Flying Saucer has been the Hotspot of the Month for the past 30 months.”
AL asked why I drink Mountain Dew rather than coffee, and I told her I hate coffee. “What do you drink at Starbucks, then?” she asked.
“Strawberries and cream Frappucino,” I told her.
“Paul! That’s a girl drink!” she laughed. I pointed out that most drinks on Starbucks’ menu are girl drinks. Then she came up with another idea. “Everyone has a favorite drink at Starbucks,” she said. “You could ask famous locals what their favorite Starbucks drink is. You could ask Mayor Herenton.”
“I don’t think Mayor Herenton will be accepting my phone calls, after all the bashing I’ve given him on my blog,” I replied.
“Okay, then, what about people at Downtown restaurants?” she suggested. Owners, managers, chefs. Their favorite Starbucks drink. You know, that’s a really good idea. I know enough restaurant people to actually make that one work.
Then she came up with yet another one. “We could do ‘eat this, not that’ restaurant reviews. We could pick a particular restaurant, and then each of us look at the menu and say what menu items we’d be most likely to eat, and what menu items we’d be most likely to avoid.” That could work really well, since we have totally different perspectives – she likes healthy food, and I like good food. We tried it out using some crappy restaurants as test cases – we did it for McDonald’s and Burger King – and it seemed to work. Don’t worry, we’ll pick better restaurants for the actual blog posts.
So AL gave me lots of health advice and blog ideas. Don’t think the conversation was one-sided by any means though. I gave her my ideas too. She told me she occasionally eats red meat, and when she does she likes steak. I told her she should bypass all the steakhouses Downtown and go straight to the place that cooks the best steaks down here – Majestic Grille. She’s trying to plan a cool, funky fundraiser for a non-profit, and while I couldn’t come up with specifics I gave her a “meta” idea for how I’d figure out how to figure it out.
I made fun of her for having never eaten at Rio Loco, but then she pointed out that I’ve never eaten at Happy Mexican. We agreed to try Happy Mexican sometime soon.
Meanwhile, we were drinking on Sauces’ patio. Sauces has one of the best happy hours Downtown: $1.50 domestics including Coors Light, Much Ultra, Bud, and Bud Light (John D: “Wha… wha happened? Paul, can you give me directions to Sauces?”); $2.50 wells including rum, bourbon, gin, and vodka, and $3.00 house merlot, cabernet, and chardonnay. So what did I do? Completely forgot there was a happy hour and ordered a $9.00 mojito. Oops.
I had the Fried Mozzarella Caprese appetizer, consisting of fried mozzarella, Roma tomatoes and basil with a balsamic reduction. Very good.
This getting to be a long post… but that’s okay. Thought my readers might enjoy reading something different than “I went to the Saucer and got drunk.”
We finished our food and a second drink, paid up, and AL gave me a hug goodbye. She walked home, and I went to the Saucer and got drunk.
And that’s about it… the only news item I have is that Itta Bena is starting a new happy hour, “Sundays with Sam.” Oh goodness. I can’t even imagine what he has in mind. I heard about it from someone else so I don’t know. I’ll have to get in there this week and find out what his plans are. Darn it, that means I’ll have to pick between Sunday nights at Itta Bena with Sam and Sunday nights at Calhoun’s with Lauren. Both of whom, now that I think of it, would be possible candidates for BFF of the Month if I decide to pull the trigger on that idea.
Time for bed. Perhaps in the morning I’ll forego the Mountain Dew and have an acai berry smoothie instead.
But don’t count on it.