Christmas Eve @ Little Rock Flying Saucer

When I come to Little Rock to visit family, I book my hotel room very carefully. It has to be within close distance. Not within close distance of the retirement community where my mother lives – that’s what the car is for, after all – but rather, within walking distance of the Little Rock Flying Saucer. I used Kayak.com to book a room at the Legacy Hotel & Suites in Downtown Little Rock for $55 a night, considerably below the standard rate.

Last night I made the walk to the bar. It was about 12 blocks, but the weather was nice so I didn’t mind. For those familiar with Little Rock, the hotel is at 624 W. Capitol. I walked up Capitol to Broadway, then took Broadway to Markham, which turns into President Clinton Avenue where the Saucer is located. I got there a little after 9.

When I go there, I always like to notice what’s similar and what’s different from the Memphis Saucer. The layout is somewhat similar. When you enter, you’re in the outdoor Garden area with patio windows. Pass through a set of doors and you’re in the main bar. The differences are that the Little Rock Garden is a bit smaller, the music performance area is in the interior bar, and the pool tables are downstairs in a separate room.

One reason I like going to the Little Rock Saucer is that I can try beers not available east of the Mississippi. The Fire Sale was Breckenridge Avalanche, an amber ale with a touch of caramel maltiness. I asked the bartender for a beer menu, and saw that it normally sold for $5.50 a pint. Nice to pick it up for only $3 on Fire Sale.

On the very slim chance I might get robbed on the walk down there, I left my debit card in the hotel room and brought only enough cash to pay for several beers and (if needed) a cab ride home. Since bartenders normally ask for a card to run a tab if they don’t know you, I expected to have to pay per beer as I went along. However, the bartender never asked me for a card. I found that odd.

A few minutes later, he came over and asked how long I was in town. I told him, then asked, “How did you know I’m not from here?”

“I remember seeing you in here before,” he said. Considering the last time I was in the Little Rock Saucer was 366 days before, that’s a pretty impressive memory.

I looked over the beer menu and decided to order local for my second beer. I went with a Diamond Bear Southern Blonde, a pilsner brewed right here in Little Rock.

Boulevard beers, brewed in Kansas City, are also among the beers available in Little Rock but not in Memphis. I chose a Boulevard Pilsner as the third beer that counted toward my plate.

As I drank, I read the menu to compare Little Rock prices to Memphis prices. Dos Equis Lager is $4 in Little Rock, 50 cents cheaper than in Memphis. WTF? I’d ask Kirk, the Memphis GM, about it, but I already know what his response would be: “Little Rock doesn’t have increased fruit costs due to a regular putting nine limes in every beer.”

I was sitting at a seat in front of one of the coolers, and I looked at the bottles it held. As much as I love the Little Rock Saucer, I have to call them out on a serious party foul.

I know the photo is blurry, but do you see it?

Look carefully at the second shelf. That’s a SMIRNOFF FREAKIN’ ICE sitting there, third from the right. A bar that prides itself on being the city’s premier beer bar sells that swill. And I didn’t check, but I assume it counts toward a plate. Unbelievable. Memphis would never put that in their coolers. I guess they do it for the benefit of girls who don’t like the taste of beer, but still, it’s just wrong. Ugh.

(And yes, there was a time many years ago when I used to drink Smirnoff Ice at the bar at Blues City. That was before I had any plates on the wall at the Saucer. I’m older and wiser. And besides, Blues City has since started carrying PBR in 16 ounce cans.)

I saw that there was a beer called Tallgrass Buffalo Sweat on the menu. I didn’t try it, but I wondered if that was Abita Turbo Dog re-packaged under a more accurate name.

With my 3 plate beers done (you don’t have to drink all the beers toward your plate at your home Saucer), I decided to play “Bartender’s Choice” for my next two. He recommended Kostritzer, a schwarzbier (black beer) from Bad Kostritz, Germany. It was pretty good. For my fifth beer I had Tallgrass Velvet Rooster, another bartender’s choice. I had a pretty good buzz by the time I finished it, not surprising since it’s 8.5% ABV.

While I drank the last two, I walked around and looked at the plates Little Rock UFO Club members had earned. Looks like Little Rock has more artistic flair than Memphis:

Another neat thing about Little Rock is the “stairway to nowhere” at the back of the bar.

By the time I finished the Velvet Rooster, the hour was getting late. The Saucer was set to close early, at midnight. I didn’t want to be “that guy” who tried to place an order 10 minutes after the posted closing time, so I asked for my check.

There was a cab waiting outside the Saucer, and I didn’t feel like dealing with the long walk and the bums, so I got a ride. As I entered the hotel lobby I saw this on the cover of the local news, arts and entertainment weekly:

Hell yeah! Bobby mf’n Petrino! Not long until we beat Kansas State in the Cotton Bowl. It’s time to CALL THOSE HOGS!!!