Sunday update: The Book of Lists

Well, not really an entire book, but I have two of them.

I was told that my list of national food holidays last week was well-received, so let’s return to Foodimentary and see what’s coming up this week.

  • Today: National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day
  • Monday: National Banana Cream Pie Day
  • Tuesday: National Cold Cuts Day (Ickey Woods’ favorite holiday!) and National Moscow Mule Day
  • Wednesday: National Pound Cake Day
  • Thursday: National Cheese Doodle Day
  • Friday: National Oreo Day
  • Saturday: National Cereal Day

No offense to Ickey, but I kinda think Monday sounds like the best day of the week, food-wise.

On to the next list. It’s the first of the month, so let’s have a look at what events are coming to FedExForum other than Grizzlies and Tigers games.

Well, hello there, March! High temperatures are expected to be in the 60s most of this week, and one week from today we’ll be looking at a 7 PM sunset. I like it!

Check out my friend Michael Butler Jr.’s chicken guide on Edible Memphis. The guide covers the entire city but Mike thinks (and I would agree) that there’s plenty of good chicken to be had Downtown, including the chicken pot pie at Rizzo’s, the pulled chicken sandwich at Central BBQ, all the chicken dishes at Sage, and Kung Pao Chicken & Waffles at Wok’n in Memphis inside Puck Food Hall. First on the list (and rightfully so) is a menu item you can’t get Downtown, but the owners are Downtowners and you don’t have to travel very far (870 Thomas): Two-piece, gravy and a biscuit at Jack Pirtle’s. Yes sir.

To borrow a term from one of the local TV news programs… does it really work? Because I have long hair that breaks easily, about once a month I have to make the trek to Walgreens to spend $8.49 on Drano Liquid Foamer to unclog the drain in my tub. Last month I thought, “I’m tired of spending that $8.49 a month” (more on why in a moment). I remembered seeing commercials for drain sticks that can be found at Target and Amazon. So I got on Amazon and ordered some for around $10.

By the way, this wasn’t the brand I had seen advertised, but it got better ratings on Amazon. This week I cleared the drain with Drano Foamer one last time to give it a clean start, then stuck one of the sticks down the drain. If I still have a clear drain at the end of the month, then I’ll know it worked. If I don’t, I’ll have wasted $10, but I thought it a gamble worth making. The instructions say to use one stick a month and you get two packs of 12, so if the strips work I’ll have a clear drain through February 2022.

Now… back to why that $8.49 expenditure for Drano Foamer bothered me so much. Six years ago I rocked the world of economics by introducing the Value Drinking Index, a measure of how much bang for the buck you get when you order an alcoholic beverage. To demonstrate how it works, let’s say you order a Bud Light at the Flying Saucer for $5.

Value Drinking Index = 12 (ounces) * 4.2 (percent alcohol by volume) / 5 (price) = 10.08

The Value Drinking Index indicates a beer is a good value if

  • It’s a craft or import beer with a VDI of 15 or higher
  • It’s a non-PBR domestic beer with a VDI or 20 or higher
  • It’s a PBR with a VDI of 25 or higher

Well, now I am ready to introduce a second economic term: the PBR opportunity cost. It’s quite simple, really: When I make an expenditure, how many PBRs could I have had for that price instead? Since PBR prices vary, I decided the measure would be the lowest non-happy hour PBR price at any of the places I frequent Downtown. Currently that would be $2.75, at Max’s Sports Bar. So the PBR opportunity cost of that bottle of Drano would be

8.49 / 2.75 = 3.09

So purchasing that Drano causes me to miss out on slightly more than 3 PBRs. The higher the PBR opportunity cost, the more justifiable the expense has to be. For example, the PBR opportunity cost of the convenience of paying my BBQ team dues online is 8, which is why I’m writing a check this year to avoid the convenience charge.

If any of the local colleges or universities want to offer me a professorship of economics so I can develop more measures, I’m willing to talk. Perhaps one day these measures will lead me all the way to Washington for a Secretary of Commerce appointment.

The Grizzlies handed the L.A. Lakers only their 13th loss of the season last night. That improves Memphis’ record to 29-31, and gives them a 2.5 game lead over the New Orleans Pelicans for 8th place in the West. Next game is at Atlanta, third from the bottom in the East, tomorrow at 6:30. Can you imagine the mood in Memphis if the Grizzlies, a projected 25-win team at the beginning of the season, make the playoffs and extend the Lakers to 6 or 7 games?

It was a good night for Memphis sports in general yesterday. The basketball Tigers and Memphis 901 FC won too.

Looking for a reason for a trip to Midtown this evening? Railgarten hosts Quick Draw 2, a competition to see which bartender can pour drinks the fastest, tonight. The Silly Goose/Pontotoc Lounge/Bar 409 family of bars will send contestants out there.

There’s a run starting at Martyrs Park today at noon where you have to eat 12 Krispy Kreme donuts at the halfway point of the 5 miles.

Like filling out NCAA brackets? Loflin Yard will have a bracket that you can enter for free. First place gets $100, second place gets $40, third gets $15, and they’ll have drink specials just for bracket members.

In other Loflin Yard news, they along with Party Memphis will host a Fortnite Backyard Nerf Battle on Saturday, April 4 from 12 to 2. “Gather up a bunch of friends & neighborhood hooligans” (well we sure have plenty of those down here), the Facebook event suggests, “for a battle royale in the back yard of Loflin Yard.” Cost is $10 and includes safety glasses, Nerf gun, ammo, and flags. Sounds like a top-notch afternoon of fun. Sometimes you see drunk sports competitions that seem to be all about the organizers rather than the competitors. That does not seem to be the case with this one!

Jon Hodge, owner of Front Street Deli, is interviewed in this week’s episode of the Rahul & Tony podcast.

Soccer supporters’ group Bluff City Mafia hosts a Sunday Fun Day at Memphis Made Brewing Co. today at 2 PM.

G and the Crew supply the live music this afternoon at 2 at Tin Roof. This is a free show.

Check out food truck New Wing Order’s March specials:

For those of you who haven’t checked the national news yet this morning, Joe Biden coasted to nearly a 30-point victory in the South Carolina primary, resetting the race for the nomination and ending the notion that Bernie is going to run away with it. The Bern still leads the delegate count, 56 to Biden’s 46, with Mayor Pete at 26, Warren at 8, and Klobuchar with 7. Tom Steyer ended his candidacy last night. Following South Carolina, FiveThirtyEight’s predictions put the likelihood of a contested convention at 60%.

The thing about a contested convention is, once it gets to a second ballot, delegates are released from their commitments and can vote for whoever they want… even a candidate who did not run in the primaries. As of this morning, the betting market has the following probabilities to secure the nomination. The top five are… (hey, another list!)

  • Bernie 52.6%
  • Biden 28.5%
  • Bloomberg 14.7%
  • Mayor Pete 4.6%
  • And coming in fifth place, with 4.5%…

Hillary Fucking Clinton. Yep, there’s a 4.5% chance the delegates will gift-wrap Trump’s second term and put a pretty bow on top, while destroying their own party in the process. I’d say, surely the party wouldn’t be that stupid, but then I think back to 2016.

Dr. Jill Biden will campaign for Joe at Loflin Yard this afternoon 3 to 5.

Time for D-RANKS with B-RAD at Silly Goose. Back tomorrow or Tuesday with more news.