I require T.P. for my socially distant bunghole

That was my trivia team name last night. I didn’t win Best Team Name but I did win first place.

Those 40 Blind Bear Bucks I won will turn into 13 PBRs (don’t worry, not all on the same day)… or maybe a few of the lunch specials Phillip cooks up on the weekdays. The man is a culinary genius!

Normally I like to put the good news toward the top of my posts ahead of the cancellations, but this angers me so much I’m going to go ahead. Bardog Tavern is closed, and it’s not because of the coronavirus. Due to a shoddy repair job of a water main that has been going on for years, Bardog’s basement is flooded, forcing the closure. The city has been working on that sewer system for years, but their repair work is more like a Band-Aid than a permanent fix. I understand The Little Tea Shop next door is closed for the same reason. Aldo and Miss Su are two business owners who generate considerable revenue and tax dollars, not to mention all the good times they have created for Memphians. The city needs to treat them better than this. This is probably the sixth time in two years they have had to close due to flooding.

The repair work is done by MLGW, right? Maybe we should just quit paying our MLGW bills in protest. The city already announced they’re not cutting people off until the coronavirus threat passes.

Update 8:34 AM: Morning bartender Bloom just posted a photo to Facebook from the bar, so Bardog may be back open.

Rizzo’s by Michael Patrick has its to-go website set up, offering curbside take-out. Get dinner

  • For one, $19
  • For two, $35
  • For four, $45
  • For six, $60

Dinners come with one salad, one entree, one side, and one dessert per person.

Puck Food Hall is offering curbside pick-up. See the flyer below.

Two Pillars Yoga is now offering live online classes on Zoom for those who want to get their practice in without being in a room full of people.

The Downtown Walgreens is adjusting its hours. It will be open 9 AM-8 PM Monday-Friday, 9 AM-7 PM Saturday, and 10 AM-6 PM Sunday. Most of the 24-hour Walgreens are changing their hours to 9 AM-9 PM for the time being. This allows them time to sanitize and to re-stock the shelves.

Loflin Yard now offers online ordering and curbside service.

In related news, Two Broke Bartenders and a Truck are willing to brave the outdoors so you don’t have to. Services they offer include

  • Picking up your groceries and beer
  • Shopping for you
  • Cooking for you
  • Making you drinks
  • Unclogging your toilet after you flush the 89 rolls of toilet paper you bought at Walmart
  • Fixing your doorknob
  • Moving your stuff
  • Anything else you can think of

Call or text the bartenders at 901-504-4229 to set up an appointment. You can also fill out the form on their website for an appointment.

Let’s hear it for the good guys: In Jonesboro, a restaurant landlord has told the tenant restaurant to pay the employees rather than pay the rent.

Music Export Memphis, an organization that promotes Memphis music around the region, has established a COVID-19 emergency relief fund for musicians. You can make a tax-deductible donation online or by check, helping musicians get through these times when hardly anyone is booking them for gigs.

Bluff City Coffee has launched a delivery menu available 8 AM to noon daily. Minimum $15 order and there is a $2.50 delivery fee. You can also request curbside pickup. Available for delivery: coffee/drinks, breakfast sandwiches, pastries, sweets, and grab & go.

You can now order online and get curbside pickup at Max’s Sports Bar. The bar is open for those who want to come in and enjoy a beverage, but in observance with the CDC’s social distancing guidelines they have removed some of their seating.

People’s pool hall on Beale Street is doing a Duck of the Day. Find the duck, get a free beer. One winner per day. The duck isn’t a real duck, by the way. Ducks are not allowed in bars, unless they’re emotional support ducks.

A friend who works in the area told me there was an undercover bust outside the Cotton Exchange Building yesterday. Unmarked cop cars descended upon a man with a locked suitcase or briefcase from all directions, and he refused to let them open the case. My friend said the cops were trying to obtain a search warrant. I can’t find anything about this in the news, probably due to all the virus coverage. Anyone know what was going on?

Downtown restaurants Gray Canary, Catherine & Mary’s, Bishop and hotel bar Eight & Sand will be closed until further notice. Catherine & Mary’s and Bishop plan to start takeout and curbside pickup tomorrow.

WWE has moved Wrestlemania, set for April 5, from Tampa to its Performance Center in Orlando… or has it? This is said to be possibly a bluff. With Tampa officials having told Vince McMahon they’d pull the plug on the show if he didn’t, insurance contracts require him to do due diligence to find another venue. So, he moved it to the Performance Center. But… merely the performers, stage crew, road agents, announcers and executives, even in an empty arena, amount to a gathering of way more than 50, violating CDC guidelines. So, McMahon’s wager is said to be that Orlando will kick them out too… and then he can do what he really wants, which is to move Wrestlemania to Madison Square Garden in June.

The Tennessean has a description of how to apply for unemployment if you lost a job because of COVID-19, or if you are under quarantine by doctor’s orders. Governor Lee expects the federal government to waive the “actively looking for work” requirement soon, since almost no one is hiring right now.

Southaven Springfest is canceled, so the BBQ team will lose an opportunity to practice for BBQ Fest… although I’m about 90 percent certain BBQ Fest won’t happen, at least not in May (that’s a personal guess, not based on any communication with Memphis in May officials).

The Millennium Tour featuring Omarion and Bow Wow, scheduled for later this month at FedExForum, has been rescheduled for July 19. All tickets and meet & greet passes will be valid for the new date.

One thing I’m wondering about San Francisco’s lockdown: You’re only allowed to be out if you’re going to work, the doctor, the grocery store, the bank, or to get medicine. What about the drug dealers? How are they supposed to conduct business? Meth and heroin are vital parts of the SF economy.

The USL has announced suspension of play for its teams, including Memphis 901 FC, until at least May 10.

The Lounge in the basement of 3rd and Court diner is closed until further notice. The diner is open.

Subway has a deal where you buy a footlong, get a footlong free when you order online or through the app. I tried it yesterday and it worked like a charm. I built my Italian BMT and tuna sub online in my last 5 minutes at work, then walked over to the store at Second and Union and my subs were ready. $7.34 for two days’ worth of meals is not bad at all.

An article I was reading this week referred to Trump as “the angry talking yam.” That’s fantastic.

Eight senators voted against the coronavirus relief package. Your Tennessee senator, Marsha Blackburn, was among them.

Tempted to call Marsha Blackburn a name on here (hint: rhymes with “punt”) but I guess I’ll be nice.

Several people have asked my opinion on when/if Mayor Strickland will close Memphis bars. Again, this is just a guess; I have not talked to any officials. The thing is, there are 4 reported cases in Shelby County as of this morning, and all 4 of those had traveled from a city where there was already a coronavirus outbreak. So, there is no evidence of local “community spread” at this point. My prediction is that the bars will close when there is either

  • 1 case of community spread; or
  • 10 cases total in Shelby County

We shall see. Off to work. With the bars still open, I will get out for a little while tonight to support my musician friends in Kaleidoscope, a subset of FreeWorld. They play the Blind Bear 10 AM-1 PM. Back tomorrow with more news.