Author: paulryburn

Woke up this morning, and thought, “Did I drunk-post about Jumper Cable Guy last night?”  Yep, sure did.

Heard a story last night I thought I’d pass on.  A friend of mine was trying to get on the trolley on Main Street.  The trolley was stopped, and he heard someone cussing up a storm inside.  He looked in the windows, and the only person in there was the driver, so it had to be her.  She was talking on her cell phone.  He knocked on the trolley door, but she was yelling and cussing so loud she couldn’t hear him.  She went to the other end of the trolley and started to turn it around, still talking in her phone.  My friend knocked on the door.  This time the driver saw him, and she screamed at him that he had to go to the trolley stop, and then she started cussing him.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of behavior from a trolley driver?  Some of them are very courteous and friendly, but there are some rude ones as well.

The upcoming Midtown crawfish fest this Saturday at Overton Square reminds me of a story from a few years ago… the Madison Avenue trolley line was new at the time, and I figured I’d ride it to the end of the line at Cleveland and then walk the rest of the way.  I didn’t see a trolley at Madison and Main near my apartment, so I figured I’d start walking down Madison and hop on a trolley when I saw one.  However, I walked all the way to Bellevue before one appeared that was going my direction.  Bellevue is only two blocks from the end of the line, so of course I wasn’t going to pay a dollar to ride to Cleveland.  So I walked the entire way to the festival.  An hour and five minutes.  The trolleys are so undependable, although they look a lot better when compared to MATA’s horrible bus system.

I hope my BFF is scheduled to work day shift at her job on Saturday.  I don’t feel like putting up with her stupid ass at the crawfish festival.  I still haven’t officially kicked her to the curb, but I’m close.  I’m waiting for her to give me a reason – the straw that broke the camel’s back, that kind of thing.  Last night I saw her and she actually acted like something resembling a normal human being, so I didn’t get the excuse I was looking for.  I’m sure it’ll happen soon though.

The crawfish fest I’m most looking forward to, though, is two weeks from today – the Rajun Cajun crawfish fest Downtown.  I’m still irritated with myself from last year – a lot of people later told me, “I was at the crawfish fest, but I didn’t see you.”  That was due to a 3-hour side trip to the Saucer and a 1-hour side trip to a nearby rooftop.  I’m cutting all that crap out this year.  No side trips.  I’m staying at the festival the entire time it runs, from 12 to 6.  I love street festivals because I get to see people I only see once or twice a year, at street festivals.

On to last night’s beer report.  When I scanned my UFO card in the Beer-Tron-A-Ton computer, I found that not only had the Saucer had not credited me with the missing beers I asked them to put back on, but they had failed to credit me with any of the beers I drank Friday either.  By the end of the day they had put three back on, which is half of what needed to be put back, and that’s not counting the three I drank yesterday.

Previous total:  $1,060.50

Beers 179, 180, and 181 by my count (and who even knows what the Saucer count is anymore.  It damn well better be 177 as of end of day yesterday by the time I get this straightened out):
Old Rasputin $6.00
La Fin Du Monde $6.50
Raspberries & Cream mixer (raspberry lambic + witbier) $5.00
Tip:  $17.50 x ~30% = $5.00
Total:  $22.50

Grand total:  $1,083.00

Brunch at McGuinness at 11… Saucer at 1… Calhoun’s at some point in the evening.  Yay!  I get to see Amy and Lauren in the same day.  Of all the ex-Saucer girls who now bartend elsewhere Downtown, those two are my favorites.

Still astonished that Jumper Cable Guy came up and introduced himself.  Now that the alcohol has circulated out of my system and I have a chance to think about it clearly, I don’t believe his story for a second.  If he’s telling the truth I wish him well, but he’s told so many lies to so many people that I have every reason to believe he’s lying to me too.

Time to throw on some clothes and head to brunch.

Today I walked up to the Saucer at about 3:30, an hour and a half prior to the Memphis Tiger game, still unsure whether I would stay there or go over to Barton Flats for the watch party some of my friends were having. By game time it was clear… I was staying at the Saucer. By end of game it was obvious I had made the right decision. We were sitting at the window celebrating, volleying Tiger cheers at everyone who walked by.

Memphis vs. Kansas at 8:21 PM Monday. I will be there at 5:05 and will be getting the seats we had for the last two rounds. Gang who plans on being in attendance: Help me hold seats. This is not a case of sitting at the bar for a while and then moving. Get our seats the minute you get there or they will be gone.

After the game, I watched the UNC-Kansas game, then tabbed out to go home. A new neighbor of mine tried very hard to sell me on a run at Big Foot, to the point that I wondered if he knew someone there who worked there and who hadn’t seen me in 4 days and wanted very badly for me to come in. But anyway, I got right outside of Big Foot’s window when a familiar-looking stranger approached me. “Paul, I’m Jumper Cable Guy,” he told me. “I’m the guy who’s been running the scams about jumper cables the past three years. I just wanted to apologize. I have a good job now, it pays $21 an hour. I just couldn’t make it on my military benefits, so I had to scam people. I apologize. I hope you understand. I won’t be doing it any more.” Do I believe him? Maybe 5%. Going to be real interested to hear if there are reports of this guy scammming over the next month.

As I talked to him Big Foot’s owner and one of the managers banged on the glass and mouthed the words, “That’s Jumper Cable Guy.”

Hang on, let’s post a pic of Jumper Cable Guy, in case there’s any doubt:

Beer report in the morning. Too sleepy to type much more.

Today is April 5.
The last time I drove the car was March 6.

Once again I was worried that the parking garage had towed the car as an abandoned vehicle. They hadn’t, although the attendant had written “3/11/08” and “3/21/08” in the dust on the trunk. I was also worried the car wouldn’t start. It did, although it blew a lot of nasty smoke for about a minute after it fired up.

So I drove it to Midtown and did something I have not done in the 14-year history of owning the car… I paid to run it through a car wash. Usually I just wait for it to need maintenance and then let the Saturn dealership wash it. But since I get maintenance done every 3,000 miles, it may be a year or more before the car is due. So I had no choice.

Actually the car will be in the shop well before that. It still needs its A/C fixed. That can’t go on much longer.

I feel like I’ve been making deals with the devil this week. I shopped at two places I consider the most evil companies on Earth. First of all, my electric shaver broke, and the easiest place I could think of to get a new shaver was Wal-Mart. God it killed me to spend money there, but I didn’t know where else to get one without driving all the way to East Memphis. Then my car ran out of washer fluid, and I had to go to… it pains me to even type this… AutoZone. Actually they treat their customers pretty well, but their corporate culture sucks. When I was job hunting and the recruiters asked me if there was any place I would not work, “AutoZone” was the first word out of my mouth. Two days from now, when it’s “Uniform Monday” and AutoZoners are all wearing their boring gray shirts and boring black pants and black belts and black socks and black shoes – black POLISHABLE shoes, mind you – I’ll be wearing a Hawaiian shirt, jeans, and sandals to work. At least I only spent $1.69 at AutoZone.

Noticed there’s a new El Mezcal at 1492 Union… hmmm, I could drink margaritas there without driving, as I could ride the trolley to the end of the line and then walk the couple of blocks over there. I wish the trolley would take me to Cafe Ole.

Also noticed Krystal has Wi-Fi. WTF? Who would take their laptop to Krystal? Anyone who can afford a laptop can afford a better place to surf the web than Krystal.

The Midtown crawfish festival is a week from today. If the weather is nice I think I’ll ride my bike up there. From what I remember, the past two Midtown crawfish fests have had some pretty crappy weather (no rain, but barely 60 in the middle of April).

Just got a text that the gang is at the Saucer. Guess I’ll head up there. Still undecided whether I’ll stay there for the game or go to Barton Flats.

All photos were taken about 9:45 AM Saturday morning, April 5, within one-half block of the intersection of Madison and Main.

(Edit Saturday morning:  Forgot to hit Publish before going to bed last night.)

The Majestic Grille will have a preview of their new big screen tomorrow for the Tigers-UCLA game.  The big screen, which will be used in the future to show movies from the era in which the Majestic was a movie theater, will be used to show the Final Four.  Tip-off is 5:07 PM.

Another Final Four viewing destination… the Red Rooster will open at 3 PM today for Final Four viewing, with $1.50 drafts, 500 square feet of TVs, and $10 Maxalicious Pizzas until end of game.  The Chris Love Experience will play later in the evening.  I’ve watched a couple of games there and the Rooster is a great game-viewing spot.  You can e-mail them at memphisrooster@yahoo.com to reserve tables.

I went to Itta Bena after work for the third night in a row.  Had a bowl of their She Crab Soup and drinks.  It was excellent.  Friends came in and I hung out and talked.  It was a great time.  I’m getting seriously bored with the Saucer as an immediate after-work destination and am looking to try new things.  I don’t know if my wallet can handle Itta Bena becoming the new Saucer, though.

Watched the traffic light at Second and Beale through Itta Bena’s blue-tinted windows for a while.  Every time it turned red, it looked like it was out.  Made me wonder if that’s what red color-blindness is like.

All the Itta Bena employees were surfing my blog on the GM’s laptop.  They came across my “kick my BFF to the curb, or keep her?” article, and shouted out in unison “CAN HER!!!”

Speaking of my BFF… after I tabbed out at Bena, I went to the Saucer, and complained to the manager about the recent beers that didn’t get scanned on to my plate total.  He asked, “It wasn’t Man-Meghan who lost them, was it?”  Heh.  I got the three most recent lost beers put back on.  It actually wasn’t her… these were beers that got lost after her departure.

A few minutes later, my BFF got another new nickname.  I was sitting at the rail with Bicycle Bobby when my BFF’s mini-me came by and flipped me off.  Bobby commented what a bad attitude “both the mini-me and the maxi-me” have.  Heh heh.  Maxi-me.  That makes her sound like a tampon.  “That’s appropriate since she acts like she’s on the rag 360 days a year,” said Bobby.

Oh!  Guess what!  Remember how my BFF got a new face piercing about a week ago?  Well, guess what her mini-me had tonight… a new face piercing.  How predictable is that.

I’m considering getting one more T-shirt made with my BFF’s picture on it and giving it to Downtown homeless person Scratchy to wear.  Scratchy needs a new shirt once every two months or so.

Bicycle Bobby got up to take a whiz at one point.  “I’m going to trade one in,” he said.  When he came back he commented that the Saucer should give you 25 cents off your beer when you trade the previous one in.  Kind of like some supermarkets give you 25 cents back when you bring your own grocery bags.  Maybe I should lobby the Saucer for this idea.  It seems very environmentally friendly.  I could have my friends at the Mid-South Peace and Justice Center stage a sit-in about beer recycling until the Saucer agrees to hold a town hall meeting on the issue.

Beer report:

Previous total:  $1,039.50

Beers 176, 177, and 178 by my count (but 172, 173, and 174 according to the Saucer, assuming they re-credited me with the three beers I complained about tonight):
Paulaner Salvator $6.00
Newcastle draft $4.50
Rogue Shakespeare Stout $5.50
Tip:  $16.00 x ~ 30% = $5.00
Total:  $21.00

Grand total:  $1,060.50

Home extremely early (12:30 AM) for a weekend night, eating Paul’s Drunkass Food, which tonight consists of a Texas Toast Burger from Huey’s.  I hate it that I’m home so early on a weekend night, but “Rock Out with Your Cock Out” night at the Red Rooster took its toll on me last night.  Not that I’ll learn from what happened and not do it next Thursday night again.

(Saturday morning 9:16 AM)  Awake.  Time to go make the run to Jack’s for Mountain Dew.  I’m 50/50 on whether I’m going to watch the game at a bar, or at a friend’s condo in Barton Flats.  If I go to a bar it probably won’t be the Saucer, although I’ve got to get my 3 in at some point today.  I have several hours to figure it out.

Several people have commented on a huge decrease in the amount of panhandlers in the Downtown core since the new security patrol started April 1.  My own walks around Downtown have confirmed this – I’ve still seen the occasional bum, but not nearly like it used to be.  Notably, I have not seen any bums in front of Walgreens, and I’ve made several walks down Beale between Main and Second and have not seen any bums working the metered spaces.  I’ve heard that the security patrol members are having a blast chasing bums away.  Great job, and kudos to the Center City Commission for implementing this program!

The drawback to this is, now we don’t have anything to talk about when we sit in the Saucer’s window.  I was at the window for about two hours both Wednesday night and last night, and not once did a bum come up to ask for change or cigarettes.  Our built-in entertainment is gone.

A reader from Chicago is looking for an apartment or a spare bedroom to rent out the weekend of Music Fest, May 2-4.  If anyone has one shoot me an e-mail (paul@paulryburn.com) and I’ll get you connected with her.

Nancy Wilson’s performance tomorrow night at the Cannon Center has been postponed.  Ms. Wilson is currently in the hospital with a collapsed lung.

Mpact Memphis has their big party of the year, Casino Royale, Saturday night at the Pink Palace.  More info here.

Thursday, April 10 you can boogie down to some disco at the Crescent Club, 6075 Poplar Suite 909.  It’s a fundraiser for the Committee on Missing and Exploited Children (COMEC).  Appetizers, cash bar, prizes for best dressed, live auction.  Tickets are $35 and are tax-deductible.  Call the COMEC offices (901-405-8441) to get them.

Another busy day at work, got to wrap this one up quickly and get back to the office.

Woke up this morning to a frantic call from my mother.  Tornadoes ripped through her neighborhood in Little Rock, the neighborhood where I grew up, last night.  Her house is OK but there are three trees down at the house across the street.  Power will be out for 2-3 days and the police have set up a command center about 5 blocks from where she lives.  The primary school I went to suffered severe enough damage to close it for the day.

Started the evening at Itta Bena last night, where I had the She Crab soup and now I understand why people rave about it.  Had the Filet Bites too.  Then I moved on to the Saucer where I did my plate beers, and also had my free Dos Equis Lager that I won from the Tennessee vs. Louisville bet.  Never did make it to the rooftop party because it took so long to do my beers.  Beer report:

Previous total:  $1,022.00

Beers 173, 174, and 175 by my count (and the Saucer’s count is even more screwed up because they lost ANOTHER beer.  I’m going to talk to the managers tonight and get a lot of beers put back on):
Sierra Nevada ESB draft $4.50
Young’s Oatmeal Stout THIS BEEER SUCKED $4.50
North Coast Red Seal Pale Ale $4.50
Tip:  $13.50 x ~30% = $4.00
Total:  $17.50

Grand total:  $1,039.50

I’m wondering if the Saucer will cancel Pint Nite and charge full price for beers Monday if the Tigers make it to the championship game.  If they do I may take an entire month vacation from the Saucer after my plate party.

Never made it to the Peabody rooftop, but I heard it was really dead anyway because they moved the party indoors.  After the Saucer, I hung out at the Red Rooster for a couple of hours with members of my BBQ team.

Voting is running about 90% in favor of kicking my BFF to the curb.  Here’s one of the messages I received:

“Curb.

And please, when you do so, let’s have a moment of silence and pity for the curb.

It didn’t do anything to warrant such harsh treatment.”

I’ll take the weekend to think it over, but as of right now I see no reason to go against public opinion.  A telling sign is that NOT ONE PERSON who knows both my BFF and me personally voted that I should keep her.

All right, gotta get to work.  The rest will have to wait until my lunchtime post, if I have time to do one.

One of my good friends is putting his condo up for sale, and asked if I’d list it here. It’s in the 420 S. Front building, “1 BR 1 BA with a new walk-in closet. HW floors, all new stainless steel appliances. Storage unit in the basement. New construction in an old building with exposed wood beams and ducts, brick and dry wall. Secure entrance w/ gated parking.” There’s nothing wrong with the unit; it’s just that he’s getting married, and he and his fiancee are trying to buy a bigger condo. If interested e-mail Clay.Thompson@chrobinson.com.

One thing I forgot to mention which is going on tonight is Cooper-Young’s first monthly Night Out, similar to the South Main Trolley Tour. Cooper-Young’s night out will happen the first Thursday of every month, with many art galleries and other businesses staying open late, offering discounts and specials, and in some cases serving wine and appetizers. Wish I could go to this, but there’s just too much going on Downtown.

The big event tomorrow is the 40th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. Rev. Al Sharpton will lead a march from City Hall down the Main Street Mall to the Civil Rights Museum at 4:30 PM, followed by a memorial at 5:45 PM. Earlier in the day, events will kick off at 7 AM and there will be a rally at 1 PM. 25,000 people are expected to attend. John McCain and Hillary Clinton have already confirmed they will be there. Barack Obama may show up too. Those who work and/or live Downtown be forewarned – this will severely gridlock traffic all day. Expect long delays getting in and out of Downtown, especially during evening rush hour.

One of my readers e-mailed me to correct me when I named Shannon Wynne as the owner of the Flying Saucer in my April Fool’s post. He said there are many silent partners, some of whom I’ve sat with and drank beer without realizing it. Yeah I knew this. For reasons I won’t go into, it was necessary to make the Saucer appear to have one owner for the April Fool’s Day post.

The South Main Association will hold its monthly meeting Tuesday, April 8 at the Tyiese Scarpa shoe boutique at 515 S. Main. There you’ll be able to get the scoop on the second annual Zombie March planned for April 25, the April 26 Hot Wing Contest, and details on the Memphis Farmers Market which will open on Saturday mornings later this month. There will be beer courtesy of Boscos, and light appetizers. Wine will be available for $4. The meeting is free to the public, although this is the last one that will be free to non-members. Starting next month there will be a $5 cover charge for non-members.

I never can make it to the South Main meetings because they conflict with my trivia night. If anyone goes to the meeting and feels like take notes on anything that might be blog-worthy, I’d appreciate it.

Forecast for this evening is 60% or better chance of rain and storms.  That means the Peabody will probably move their rooftop party indoors, which makes it a lot less appealing to me.  Here’s my revised plan, and this is all subject to change if I run into friends who have better game plans than I do:

• Itta Bena immediately after work.  I will need to get something to eat before the night begins, and this morning I was thinking to myself, I need to go there on nights other than Wednesday, and I need to actually eat there.  So I’ll grab a bite to eat at the bar.  With Chris and Sam behind the bar I know I’ll be entertained.  That’s almost as much of a bartending dream team as Hooper and Tony.
• Next I’ll head to the Saucer to do my three plate beers.  Possibly I’ll stay longer than 3 beers, depending on the quality of the Fire Sale and who all is there.
• I don’t think I’ll go up to the top of the Peabody for their rooftop-party-moved-indoors, but I’ll be tempted to go sit at the lobby bar and people-watch for a while.  If I see any friends coming in, I’ll be tempted to change my mind and ride up the elevator with them.
• Possibly back to Itta Bena to support their after-Peabody bar scene.
• EP’s to check out their Dead Rock Star Ball.  I’m not dressing up though.
• If there’s still any gas left in the tank, on to “Rock Out With Your Cock Out” night at the Red Rooster.  Those 50 cent drafts could be trouble.

Places I won’t go:  Atlas and Alfred’s.  As mentioned in the previous posts, those places get full of really young girls who want validation and free drinks, and dudes who got a bunch of pickup lines/material off the Internet and are trying to be Mr. Studmuffin.  No thank you.  Rooster crowd is borderline like that too some nights, but the place is just so much fun that I’ll give them a free pass.

Work is going well… looks like our project is well on track to be demo’d to the Board next Tuesday.  I’m relieved.  The past few nights I’ve been very withdrawn and quiet because work has taken so much out of me.  Not today though… today I feel like a rock star, and tonight I plan to party like one.

So tonight I went to Itta Bena for Downtowners Appreciation Night, and discovered that Downtown bartending legend Spindini Sam is now bartending at Itta Bena. I guess he’ll have to change his nickname since he’s no longer at Spindini. This is the same Sam who got his ass kicked playing pool and trivia by yours truly. One of the most colorful people Downtown. He’s already inventing signature drinks and will add a lot to the place.

So I was sitting there enjoying a bourbon and Coke when my friends Lauren and Jamie walked in. Hang on, let’s post a pic of Lauren and Jamie.

They were eating Itta Bena’s Filet Bites when this pic was taken. Hang on, let’s post a pic of the Filet Bites.  Jamie commented that they were “THA BOMB DOT COM.”

Lauren, who is bartender at Calhoun’s Sunday-Tuesday, tells me that Tuesday nights after 10 have turned into “C.C. 115 OFF DA G.E. PAT,” or “Cheesy Song Night at Calhoun’s,” whichever you prefer. Apparently new Itta Bena bartender Sam took most of his clothes off last night at the kick-off night of this event, and people wrote on most of his body with Sharpie markers.

I’ve been told that Itta Bena will be open after the Peabody rooftop party lets out, and could be a very good bar scene for those looking for something more sophisticated than Atlas or Alfred’s. Those clubs are fine if you’re into the whole I’m-a-21-year-old-girl-in-a-hot-dress-give-me-attention-give-me-validation-buy-me-drinks scene, but if you want to just have a good conversation and a quality drink while listening to some upbeat music, Itta Bena may be your spot. There’s a very good chance I may show up there tomorrow night.  Itta Bena is on the 3rd floor of B.B. King’s at Second and Beale.  Just enter through the main door, and head up the steps to the third floor (ask where the entrance is if you don’t know.)  Whatever you wore to the rooftop party should work just fine as apparel for Itta Bena.  Here are a few pics of the place, taken in 2007 right before it opened:

As you can see, it has a secluded, otherworldly feel to it – but all you have to do is look out the window and you will remember you’re on Beale Street.

Lots going on tomorrow night, by the way.  It’s the opening Peabody rooftop party of the year, with Dr. Zarr as the entertainment.  About a 75% chance I’ll show up.  Forecast is for rain, though.  If they move the party indoors I may not go – indoor parties at the Peabody kind of suck.

It’s also Dead Rock Star Ball at EP’s.  Interesting concept, but putting this up against opening night at the Peabody may not have been the best move.  This would’ve worked better on a Friday or Saturday.  Still, though, there will likely be some interesting costumes.  I’ll try my best to stop by.

Thursday is also a special edition of “Rock Out With Your Cock Out” night at the Red Rooster.  April 3 is the anniversary of the day the Unabomber was arrested.  So the Rooster will have $4.00 bomber shots and 50 cent draft beer all night.

Back to Lauren and Jamie for a minute.  I always carry pen and paper with me to take notes for the blog (which is why you’re reading what you’re reading right now, otherwise I’d forget more than half of it).  Lauren asked if she could borrow my note paper for a minute and wrote the note below.

If you read my post earlier today, you know that I’m considering kicking my current BFF to the curb and finding a better one.  Readers have expressed their opinion via e-mail, and currently their opinion is running about 70% in favor of dumping my BFF.  Looking at the image above, it looks like I’ll have no trouble finding new BFFs if I decide to go along with public opinion.

I want to include a conversation with my BFF that illustrates why I’m considering shit-canning her:

“Paul!  I’m hungry.  Walk up to Second Street Deli and buy me a sandwich.”

“I don’t have time!  I have to get back to work.”

“Paul!  You’re not being a good BFF.  This is the kind of thing BFFs do for each other.”

“If you’re such a good BFF, how come you’ve never bought me anything?”

“I’ve bought you lots of stuff, Paul, I just haven’t given any of it to you yet.”

The more I review the conversation documented above, the more I agree with public opinion.  I’ll take a few more days to think about it, but my BFF may be history very soon.

After I left Itta Bena tonight, I wandered over to (can you guess it?) the Flying Saucer.  They have a new video crack machine at the bar, not that I have much interest in playing it.  Beer report:

Previous total:  $1,001.50

Beers 170, 171, and 172 (but 164, 165, and 166 according to the Saucer, with one still to be put back on.  Was too lazy to talk to the manager about it tonight):
Chimay Triple/Cinq Cents draft $7.00
Sierra Nevada Porter $4.25
Sam Adams White (Seasonal) $4.25
Tip:  $15.50 x ~30% = $5.00
Total:  $20.50

Grand total:  $1,022.00

And with the beer report out of the way, I’m done.  Off to bed to get about two hours’ less sleep than what I need.

Time to ask you to vote for something yet again… the Memphis Tiger mascot Pouncer is still in the tournament for best mascot in the NCAA tourney, and he needs your vote to make it to the next round.  Vote here.  I’m pleased to see that Arkansas mascot Big Red is also still in.  (Edit:  Never mind.  Just found out Pouncer lost and they’re now on the Final Four.  Big Red lost too.)

Fellow blogger Mark Richens e-mailed me to tell me about LUSH LIFE, a party Saturday night at Quetzal (668 Union).  He writes, “I’ll be DJing a sophisticated blend of music, with styles from funk-soul classic to contemporary indie dance. Advanced lighting, video projections and a new, state-of-the-art sound system will be in effect, and the bar serves a huge selection of premium products. Party starts at 10 and goes until close. There is no cover charge, though reduced-price drink tickets will be available at the door.”  More info about the party on Mark’s blog.

Lots of April Fool’s jokes on the web yesterday.  Lots of people fell for them too.  Memphis Limelight posted that the Downtown Blue Monkey was to open its doors at 5 PM yesterday with free beer ’til 7.  My friend Mikey e-mailed and texted several people about it until someone clued him in that it was a hoax.  Dumbass.  Meanwhile, my friend Frank was calling everyone asking, “Has Paul lost his mind?  Is he really getting married?”  Come on, Frank, you knew me back in 2006 when she was here.  I’d definitely be open to marrying a hot Romanian girl, but I’d slit my throat before I’d marry that one.

The new Downtown security patrols started yesterday.  I had a huge day at work and didn’t get out to see them in action, but several people e-mailed or called and said they saw them out.  About 5:45 I walked down the block of Beale between Main and Second, and for the first time in a while I did not see any bums working a parking lot scam or parking meter scam.

Beer report:

Previous total:  $981.25

Beers 167, 168, and 169 (but 161, 162, and 163 according to the Saucer, and I plan to get that count adjusted up by one to compensate for the beer ticket that the mini-me lost Saturday):
Michelada $4.00
Dogfish Head Raison d’Etre $6.50
Mendocino White Hawk IPA $4.75
Tip:  $15.25 x ~30% = $5.00
Total:  $20.25

Grand total:  $1,001.50

Michelada is a beer mixer – pale lager with fresh lime on the rocks in a glass with salt.  That may sound something I’d like since Dos Equis Special Lager is my favorite.  But no.  Beer on ice with salt = nasty.  This is one to be avoided.

Raison d’Etre, on the other hand, is one of the best beers at the Saucer.  I remember having one at my first plate party while watching my friend Angie play with her phone, Uber Phone 3000.  Since then she’s gotten married, moved to Mississippi, had a baby, and upgraded to Uber Phone 6000.

People on my trivia team commented that they had seen me drinking White Hawk IPA before.  That’s because it’s one of the MANY beer tickets the Saucer lost.

Rapscallions suffered a rare loss at trivia last night.

So, Sunday I sat at my friend/former Saucer Girl Amy’s bar, and had a great time.  She was so nice, even gave me candy.  Monday I sat at my friend/former Saucer Girl Lauren’s bar, and she was very sweet, was happy to see me and asked when we’re going to be pool partners again.  Last night after I left the Saucer, I stopped by former Saucer Girl my BFF’s new bar.  It was already 10 PM and I sacrificed a couple hours sleep by going to see her.  So what did I get in return?  She insulted me, flipped me off, and told me she hates me several times.

Therefore, I think it’s time to ask the question:  Is it time to kick my current BFF to the curb and get a new one?  I mean, I realize she doesn’t really hate me – if she did, she would not have made sure to mention earlier in the week that she’d be bartending Monday and Tuesday.  But still, if that’s the best she can treat me after I made a special trip there to see her… maybe it’s time for her to go.  Yeah I do pick on her too, but I’ve also been sweet to her at times (tipped her 100% on her last day at the Saucer, invited her to my plate party, brought her lunch from Second Street Deli, paid to have a T-shirt made for her that matches mine).  She’s NEVER sweet to me.  I once asked her to name one nice thing she’s ever done for me, and she told me one day she pointed to a sign that said Dos Equis Lager was the Fire Sale, like I don’t know how to read without her help.  That’s the best she can do.

I’ll think about it for a few days.  If you have an opinion whether my BFF should stay or go, or have suggestions for whom my new BFF should be, shoot me an e-mail at paul@paulryburn.com.

Yay!  One of the recruiters we work with brought us pizza for lunch.  The thing about being an IT department is that a lot of the pizzas have to be vegetarian, because IT departments tend to have a lot of Indians who don’t eat meat.

Today I learned that one of my co-workers is moving to Seattle, because her husband got a great job.  The company found him through Facebook.  Social networking is SO important these days.  Recruiters for my current company found me through LinkedIn, and I also searched through a recruiter who found me on MySpace.

I’ve missed Downtown Night at Itta Bena the past few weeks, but it’s back on the agenda for tonight, if I don’t have to work late.  After that I’ll head to the Saucer to do my three plate beers.