Author: paulryburn

Congrats to the Rapscallions, who pulled out the comeback of a year for second place.  After two rounds, we had 39 out of a possible 93, and were losing to the Saucer Girls team among many others.  But we came back with an almost-perfect round three to move into second place and pick up $25.  That brings our total to $300, assuming I finish my plate in time.  Which reminds me – it’s time to start planning a date for Rapscallion Party VII, will e-mail the team tomorrow.

Couple of things I heard tonight:

First of all, I heard that the Blue Monkey is at least 3 weeks away from opening, as they have a little more construction to be done.  They definitely plan on opening the doors before Memphis In May, but would like to open a few weeks prior so they have time to do a dry run.

Also heard that Hoop’s Bar now has a sake (Japanese rice wine) machine.

The mini-me waited on us tonight.  Her personality is actually tolerable when her big buddy isn’t around.  Beer report:

Previous total:  $697.25

Beers 127, 128, and 129 (but 122, 123, and 124 according to the Saucer):
Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat draft $4.25
RedHook Blonde draft $4.00
Monty Python’s Holy Grail Ale bottle $11.00
Tip:  $19.25 x ~ 30% = $6.00
Total:  $25.25

Grand total:  $723.00

I had free Gus’s Chicken for lunch!  And beans and potato salad on the side.  We all sat around and talked and discussed current plans for the company and talked about current projects.  There was no stress or ass-kissing or any of the other BS you typically see in most corporate lunches.  What a great place to work.

The Westin lobby bar continues its weekly wine tastings tomorrow with the wines of Moss Back from the Russian River Valley tomorrow (Wed 3/19) from 5:30-7:30 PM.

My friends at Mpact Memphis asked me to post information about their upcoming “Party of the Year,” Saturday, April 5 at the Pink Palace Museum.  Details below:

Hmmm the Red Rooster is a sponsor, that’s interesting.

Just got an e-mail from one of my media contacts saying that Benihana is getting so much negative feedback about their decision to close their Memphis restaurant, that they are now saying they plan to rebuild the burnt-down restaurant in East Memphis.  They just don’t have a timeline yet.  This may be the truth or it may be corporate BS.

Here’s a link to a McDonald’s “talk smack about your basketball opponent generator.  Thanks Adam for sending that to me.

Don’t know if I have any readers from the Jackson, MS area, but if I do, there are several VB.NET/ASP.NET/SQL Server development positions open down there.  Salary is negotiable but generally in the $60-90K range.  If you are interested and think you’re qualified, e-mail me (paul@paulryburn.com) and I’ll put you in touch with the recruiter.

Sunday when I showed my BFF my new BFF-T, she said, “I want one, but I want it in small.  Make it happen.”  So today I went by and talked to my friends who run the screen-printing business in the basement of Winfield’s (Madison and Main).  They still had the image on file, and an hour later they had a shirt for me.  I’ll give it to her the next time I see her (don’t think she works tonight though).  I am the best BFF ever.  I hope my BFF realizes how lucky she is.

I’ve been texted that the Fire Sale tonight is Turbo Dog.  Is the Saucer trying to do everything they can to run me out of there?  If not for trivia I might be tempted to extend the protest to a second consecutive night.

I just realized, I screwed up really bad in the last blog post. You see, when I got hired my company made me sign a secrecy statement, where I promised that I would not reveal important company secrets such as what goes on in departmental meetings. Then yesterday I broke that agreement when I posted that in our Friday departmental meeting, we decided to order Gus’s Chicken for lunch today. Can you imagine what our competitors could do with that information if they get a hold of it? Oh… the implications are scary… now they know about Gus’s… I could have started a scandal that could rock the IT world as we know it. I hope I still have a job when I get to the office today.

EP’s has started having movie nights on Tuesday. Tonight they are showing Go, then Can’t Hardly Wait. First movie starts at 7. Of course, I won’t be there because I have trivia night. I’m washing my Pete the Trivia Guy T-shirt for tomorrow so I can wear it.

Of course, I won’t be at movie night because 1) I hardly ever watch movies; and 2) it’s trivia night at the Saucer.  I ran my Pete the Trivia Guy T-shirt through the laundry yesterday, so if you missed it last week I’ll be sporting it again tonight.

You know, after going out for St. Patrick’s night last night, I’m not so mad anymore at the Saucer for taking away Pint Nite except for two Irish beers.  As I walked around, I noticed how St. Pat’s tends to turn into amateur night for partiers, much like New Year’s, with a bunch of drunk, stupid people out who normally we don’t see in large numbers the other days of the year, except for NYE and Music Fest.  Can kind of understand why the Saucer wouldn’t want to fan the flames with $2.75 beer.  McGuinness raised their prices a buck too.  Still not sorry I took a night off, but I no longer harbor ill feelings about it.

Just found this story from the CA which illustrates that St. Pat’s is amateur drinking night.

Also in the CA, it’s been announced that Benihana is closing its East Memphis restaurant that burned down in February, rather than trying to rebuild.

Amy from McGuinness gave me a cool toy – a ball you wear around your neck that spins around and spells “Kiss me, I’m Irish” with LED lights.

The Memphis Flyer reports that Jake Ford, brother of Harold Ford Jr., will enter the 9th Congressional District Democratic primary against Rep. Steve Cohen and attorney Nikki Tinker.

That’s all I’ve got for now – off to work.

Just got a text from fellow Saucer regular John D… only Guinness and Killian’s Red are on $2.75 Pint Nite tonight.  All other draft beers that are normally $2.75 on Mondays are FULL PRICE tonight, in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day.  I will NOT be at the Saucer tonight in protest.  What a dumb thing to do, with the Blue Monkey opening in just a few weeks.  Way to piss off all your regulars and send them straight to the Monkey when it opens.  About half the Saucer’s regulars were Downtown Blue Monkey regulars before the place burned down.

I will likely use McGuinness as my home base tonight.  Will be there between 6:00 and 6:30.

In other news:  Thanks to everyone who e-mailed to tell me that the old Zoe’s Kitchen location at Main and Monroe will be the new Suntrust branch, once they move out of the big building with their name on it.

I have a green Hawaiian shirt and Mardi Gras beads on at work, in celebration of St. Pat’s.  Nice to work for a place where I can dress that way.  We had a department meeting Friday and one of the major items on the agenda was, “Hey, do you guys want to order Gus’s Chicken for lunch on Tuesday?”

All right, got a lot to do this afternoon, time to get back to it.  Here’s a fun game for my readers who work at the Memphis Flyer:  Play “count the Mikeyisms.”  Thought of that as I was walking back for lunch, and a squirrel (Mikeyism:  “tree rat”) scampered up the Main Street Mall.

So today I unveiled my new T-shirt. My friends Pete and Josh have a clothing printing business in the basement of Winfield’s at Madison and Main. “Any picture you want on a T-shirt, we can do it,” they told me. So I decided to take them up on it. If you were at the Saucer on Tuesday, you saw the Pete the Trivia Guy T-shirt. Today I unveiled the second shirt in the Paul Ryburn spring line, the BFF-T. It was based on this image:

Now, before I get to the details of what happened today, I want to point out that several people commented that the image above is a highly Photoshoppable image. So we’re going to have the first ever Photoshop contest in this blog, based on the image above. Winner will receive a 34 oz. beverage of their choice at Big Foot Lodge courtesy of yours truly, maximum $9.99 value. Winning image may or may not be published here (I do have some standards of decency) but I’ll make sure my BFF sees all entries. I and I alone will judge which is the winning entry.

So anyway, we did brunch at Majestic as planned, then pool at the Saucer, then the Sham-ROCK St. Pat’s bash at Big Foot. Here’s a pic of me in my new BFF shirt with my BFF at Big Foot:

They accidentally printed an extra of the BFF-T, which I gave to my BFF as a present. Unfortunately it was an extra large. “You need to get a small made for me,” said my BFF. “Make it happen.” As you can see, my BFF is taller than I am. I’d estimate her at 5′  8 1/2″ and a very full C. Small? Really?

Later on, my BFF’s name came up in conversation after she left. My friends Tom, Meredith, Mendi, and Calvit showed up. Hang on, here’s pics:

Tom, Meredith, Calvit, and Mendi were playing the FMK (fuck, marry, kill) game.  Someone names three members of the opposite sex, and you have to pick one that you’d fuck, one that you’d marry, and one that you’d kill.  I don’t hang out with them a whole lot, so I listened to them play several rounds without being included.

Finally Tom said, “Paul.  Your turn.  The Nuh-Uh Girl.  The Nuh-Uh Sister.  Your BFF.  Fuck, marry, kill.”

“Well, first of all, kill the Nuh-Uh Girl, no doubt about that,” I said.  “But let me get a clarification on which version of the rules we’re following for the other two.”  Tom and Mendi had two slightly different sets of rules for the game.

“We’re under my rules,” said Tom.  “You have normal sexual relations with the girl you marry, but you also have to go to Home Depot and do stuff like that with her.  Whereas, the girl you fuck is just a one-night stand and there’s no hope of anything more than that.”

“Well, in that case, I’d marry my BFF and fuck the Nuh-Uh Sister,” I replied.  Under Mendi’s rules (marriage is purely platonic and for appearances’ sake) I’d be tempted to reverse the two.

A few more rounds went by and my turn came up again.  This time it was my BFF and her mini-me, as well as former Saucer waitress Zebra Hair (who Tom called Skunk Hair by mistake… hahaha).  Once again, my “kill” answer was immediate – kill the mini-me.  The “fuck” answer was clear too – Zebra Hair.  If you’ve seen her, you understand.  That left my BFF as “marry” for the second time in a row.  That’s really disturbing but I had no choice in either case.

Rewind to earlier in the day:  While having brunch at Majestic I read the latest issue of RSVP Magazine.  On page 44 they have an interview with Nate who runs Nate’s bar upstairs at Earnestine & Hazel’s.  Check it out.  Worth a read.  The rest of the issue was fit to line a bird cage as usual.  I was surprised that RSVP released an entire issue without even one picture of Kevin Kane.  Was he out of the country last month?

Then I went on to the Saucer for my 3 beers.  Beer report:

Previous total:  $683.00

Beers 124, 125 and 126 (but 119, 120, and 121 according to the Saucer):
Bud Light Draft $3.25
Molson Golden $3.75
K Cider $4.25
Tip:  $11.25 x ~30% = $3.00
Total:  $14.25

Grand total:  $697.25

More pictures.  Here’s a pic of panhandlers Estes and Sherry working Main Street near Beale using their baby as a gimmick:

Sorry, but I don’t have any more images of bums to share with you.  So instead I’m going to have to substitute images of off-duty Saucer girls at the party at Big Foot.  Hope that’s all right.

Here’s “Paul, go get me candy” girl:

Here she is with me and another girl:

And here’s a shot of the bar featuring my BFF and her roommate.

Big Foot was having trouble dyeing the beer green in the kegs.  Someone asked me if they really drink green beer in Ireland.  Hell if I know, if I ever travel to Europe I plan on bypassing Ireland and traveling straight to Romania.

Later in the evening, I made a second appearance at the Saucer with Tom, Meredith, Mendi, Calvit, and regular blog reader Groobie Baby.  Hang on, we haven’t posted a pic of Groobie yet:

Is that a TUBE TOP Groobie has on?  I think it is.  She needs to lose the outer top though.

So we were sitting around a table at the Saucer, discussing “Rock Out With Your Cock Out” night at the Red Rooster, and how it may be a little bit too masculine of a name.  The girls suggested some feminine alternatives:

“Jam Out With Your Clam Out”
“Get Out With Your Clit Out”

And now I’m home and it’s time for bed.  For those of you who were getting tired of the this-is-what’s-going-on-Downtown informational posts and missed the old drunk posting style, this one is for you.  Have a good night everyone.  Don’t forget to wear green.

Last night in the SEC tourney, #2west Arkansas beat #1east Tennnessee 92-91, eliminating them from the SEC championship and destroying Tennessee’s hopes of being a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PIG!!!!!

SOOOOOOOIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

In other news, Memphis won its conference tourney. As a result, the Tigers will coast on to a sure #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament, to be joined by North Carolina, UCLA and NOT Tennessee.

Can’t wait for the big show tomorrow when we find out where (1) Memphis will be playing. Also where (2) Tennessee will be playing.

Here’s a couple of pics of TN fan Frank:

Sucks to be you, huh Frank? But don’t fret, I’m sure 2-seed Tennessee will do just fine in the tournament.

Beer report:

Previous total: $667.25

Beers 121, 122, and 123 (but 116, 117, and 118 according to the Saucer):
Smithwick’s Ale (Ireland) Fire Sale $2.75
Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA bottle $5.00
Sam Adams Brown Ale $4.00
Tip: $11.75 x ~ 30% = $4.00
Total: $15.75

Grand total: $683.00

I did the first two beers early in the day, and had my BFF as my waitress. She warned me that the Fire Sale was one of the most disgusting beers ever, and said that it tasted like brown dishwater. I’m sure the Saucer loves it when its employees promote their products like that. Unfortunately she was entirely right. It took me an hour to choke it down.

I sat at the Peabody Place (“G3”) window where I rarely sit, because I wanted to watch for bums. And sure enough, parking scammer Melvin showed up by an empty metered space right in front of the Saucer. I ran outside and told Melvin to go home. He did. Melvin is scared of me. All I have to do is look like I’m calling the cops and he leaves. Guess I’m going to have to sit at that window more often.

Before I left for the parade, I got cornered by my BFF and her mini-me, who tried to talk me into letting them dye my hair. “You should let me dye your hair blue for the Tigers,” said my BFF. “Come on, let me put blue highlights in your hair.” Then the mini-me chimed in, “Or green for St. Patrick’s Day.” “Yeah, Paul, let us put blue and green highlights in your hair! Come on, it’ll look good!” Ummmm no don’t think so.

The St. Pat’s parade was one of the best ever. Because the weather was slightly cooler than normal the street wasn’t overrun with kids. I collected a record amount of beads, candy and other junk. Most unique catch ever from a parade float: A bell pepper, thrown to me from the Memphis Farmers Market float. Afterward I went back to the Saucer to drink my third plate beer and watch Arkansas beat Tennessee. I gave the bell pepper to my BFF and the candy to “go get me candy” girl. Only because the Nuh-Uh Girl is out of town can I do that without hearing, “You had food you didn’t want, and you didn’t give it to ME???”

Looked for East Bumblefuck Kat on the Ptolemy float but didn’t see her. EBFK writes in her blog that Arkansas State was in negotiations to get Nolan Richardson as head basketball coach, but it fell through. Nolan Richardson coaching at A-State is like putting a Porsche engine in a Ford Escort.

I continued my yearly St. Pat’s parade tradition of drinking a Call-a-Cab. A Call-a-Cab is a frozen daiquiri from Wet Willie’s whose potent ingredient is 190 proof PGA. A large Cab has about as much alcohol as a six-pack of beer. Needless to say I was feeling quite good by the time the parade started. Only problem was, the combination of the icy drink I had on, the shorts I was wearing, and the temperature (mid-50s) did not work very well. Usually I can wear shorts down to about 50 if I have a warm shirt on, but not if a drink from Wet Willie’s is part of the plans.

I’ve already listed my plans for today: Brunch at the Majestic. At most 3 beers at the Saucer. On to Big Foot for their St. Pat’s party with $2 34 oz. green beer. I’ll unveil my new T-shirt which will be the source of much hilarity for both Saucer and Big Foot employees. I probably won’t make it until midnight when the winner of the “who will wear the most green” contest is announced. It’s not completely out of the question, though, if I pace myself. At least I’ll have access to really good food if I need to eat – Big Foot tied for Best Restaurant in the Flyer’s Best Of poll, and believe me, Flyer readers know how to pick ’em.

My new shirt just happens to be Razorback red, appropriate for today’s Arkansas vs. Georgia SEC championship game at 2:30 CDT today. That was not intended – that just happened to be the color I chose, but it’s a lucky accident. Since I’ll likely be at Big Foot by then, that means I’ll have to hang out somewhere in the vicinity of the bar, as those are the only seats with good TV views.

Wonder if MySpace legend The Mexican Wolf will be at the party… he usually shows up for Big Foot parties.

Time to walk down to Jack’s, get harassed by bums, and pick up my morning caffeine. Have a good one everyone!

Watching the game from home, in order to conserve energy and drinking dollars for later.  At halftime I ran out to get a sandwich.

While walking down Main I saw some construction work going on at the northwest corner of Main and Monroe, in the old Zoe’s Kitchen space.  Looks like they’re completely gutting the space, removing the counter, kitchen equipment, walls, everything.  When they do that it’s generally a sign that a new tenant has leased the space and plans on doing something completely different.  Anyone know what’s going on in there?

Notorious panhandler/scammer Jumper Cable Guy is out.  Saw him at the corner of Union and Main.  I didn’t confront him this time because I wanted to get home in time for the second half.  Guess I’ll have to go on bum patrol after the game’s over.

The Memphis Tigers play the Tulsa Whoevers for the Conference USA championship today at 10:30.  Game will be televised on CBS.  Not sure where I will watch the game, or if I’ll even go to a bar to watch it.  Not sure I want to get started that early in the day.  If I do go somewhere to watch it, it’ll be somewhere in the core.  Definitely not interested in walking farther south than Linden.

As much as I’m looking forward to seeing the Tigers win the conference title again, I’m just as excited about the Arkansas-Tennessee SEC Championship semifinal today at 5 PM.  How sweet would it be if the Hogs deny Tennessee a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament!  I don’t know which is more obnoxious, the Vols’ coach or their fans.  I’d love to see the Razorbacks take them down a notch.  The game time presents a bit of a conundrum of where to watch it, as normally I would remain on Beale for a while after the 4 PM parade.  But there really isn’t anyplace good on Beale to watch a game… Tap Room, maybe, but the Tap Room bores me these days.  I’ll figure it out.  Win or lose, the Hogs are projected to get an invitation to the big dance.  They’re being handicapped as about a #9 seed right now, with a possible move up to #8 if they beat Tennessee.

Hmmm… if the Tigers are a 1 seed and the Razorbacks are an 8 or 9… that would mean we could very well be watching a Memphis-Arkansas game in the second round next weekend.  Talk about split loyalties.  In past years I’ve always sided with Arkansas in that matchup, but this time I’d just about have to switch sides and root for the Tigers.

That other basketball team that plays in the Forum (you know, the one with the record that is just about the inverse of the Tigers’) is having Downtown Night this Monday.  For the price of a ticket ($25, $50, or $75), not only do you get to see the Grizzlies lose to the Charlotte Bobcats, but you also get into a private pre-game St. Pat’s party at EP Delta Kitchen from 4:30 to 6:30.  Unlimited food, beer, soda.  Door prizes.  Guest appearances by a member of the Grizzlies and members of the Grizzlies dance team.

The Sauce Boss is making a return to Blues City Cafe next Wednesday-Saturday, March 19-22.  I’ve written about this guy before.  He cooks gumbo on stage while he and his band sing songs about cooking gumbo.  When the show is over, the gumbo is ready and everyone eats.  Last time he came through Memphis, about six months ago, I recommended him and my friend Robert went and had a great time.  Not surprised that a guy who grows corn on his roof would be into the Sauce Boss.

I’m going to be doing a video interview for a new show, “The Hoop and Tony Show,” sometime soon.  Will post the link when it’s ready to go.

I KNEW it would happen.  Yesterday I made the mistake of agreeing to go get lunch for two of the Saucer girls (see yesterday’s post).  So about 6:30 PM yesterday I showed up to do my three plate beers and one of the new waitresses came over and said, “Paul, I want candy.  Lots of candy.  Go get me candy.  There’s a chocolate store in the mall across the street.  Go over there and get me candy.”  I told her NO, as I had just sat down at the window with a full beer.  She punched me in the chest.  My BFF must’ve been the waitress who trained her.  My friend Chris who was sitting at the window with me agreed to go.  She wrote down what she wanted on a coaster, revising her order several times.  Then she told him to pick up Starbucks for her and another waitress while he was over there.  “It’s right next door,” she said.  Geez.

Enjoyed sitting at the window.  I think I’ll revive the Window Game next week.

Beer report:

Previous total:  $649.25

Beers 118, 119, and 120 (but 113, 114, and 115 according to the Saucer):
Anchor Porter bottle $4.50
Cooper’s Premium Lager bottle $5.50
Black Dog Ale $4.00
Tip:  $14.00 x ~30% = $4.00
Total:  $18.00

Grand total:  $667.25

Got tired early last night.  I wrote in my journal notebook, “Drink a Red Bull about 7 PM.”  But I forgot and paid the price.  After 4 beers at the Saucer, I moved to Hoop’s Bar where I got food.  Considered the meat pizza (get you some) and the new South of Heaven roll, but finally decided on Anna’s Egg Wolls.  Drank 2 PBRs with them and by the end I could hardly keep my eyes open.

Talked to Coffee John for a while last night at Hoop’s and he brought up a good point.  I was telling him how Mike King and I get an hour next week to train the new Downtown Security patrols, and part of our presentation will be a handout with color photos of 10 bums we think they should get to know.  “You should include a picture of Scratchy too, with a note underneath it that says, ‘Don’t mess with this guy.'”  He’s right.  Scratchy is homeless (meaning, he does not have a home) but he’s not a bum (meaning, someone who panhandles).  Scratchy is a good guy, never asks anyone for anything, just walks around all day scratching and checking to make sure his beard is still there since he last checked 1.5 seconds ago.  We need to make sure the security patrols understand there are people down here who are homeless but don’t cause any problems, and Downtowners don’t have a problem with them being here.

Really looking forward to the all-day party at Big Foot tomorrow.  It’s the “Sham-ROCK Green Carpet Bash” with 34 oz. green beer for $2, potato and prime rib soup, and a prize for the person wearing the most green at midnight.  No cover.  I’ve said it a million times, few people throw a party as well as Shawn does at Big Foot, some come on down.  The brunch crew will start the day at Majestic (week 1 of 2) from 11 AM to about 1 PM.  After that, I’m not sure if I’ll even bother with the Saucer – I may head straight to Big Foot.  If I do go to the Saucer it’ll be my 3 plate beers and out.  They’re in the doghouse with me this weekend because of their Monday night “special” where only Irish beers will be on Pint Nite, so I don’t plan on spending a lot of time or money there this weekend and none at all on Monday.  What a dumbass idea and a way to create lots of new regulars for the Blue Monkey when it opens.

And now, I present to you GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF BIG FOOT.  In June 2006, I attended Big Foot’s first birthday bash.  I was, of course, blogging by then, and June is, of course, Tube Top Month in this blog.  That night I met regular blog reader Mendi.  Mendi had a tube top on.  This concludes this edition of GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF BIG FOOT.  Next time:  A fight breaks out in the lobster tank.

Be sure to check out the current issue of Downtowner Magazine.  Paul Morris, the new chair of the CCC Board, is interviewed.  Paul is one of the young new leaders on the board who is interested in implementing new and creative initiatives to improve Downtown.  He was one of the main people behind the hiring of the new Downtown security patrols which are training right now and will hit the streets in April.  He was also my neighbor across the hall in my apartment building for 5 years.  And he’s the uncle of Jeff who works at the Red Rooster.

My favorite blogger/MILF blogged that she’s looking for a server job.  I pointed her in the direction of the Downtown Blue Monkey.  MILFs always seem to do well at the Monkey.

Long post this morning.  Time to hit Publish, shower and figure out where to go to view the game.

The Tigers-Southern Miss game starts in a few minutes, at 3:30.  For those of you still at work, you can get audio, video, and GameTracker feeds for the game at gotigersgo.com.

I know of three places Downtown that will be open early for the 10:35 C-USA championship tipoff:

Calhoun’s will be open, as they always are for early Tiger games.

The Red Rooster will open at 10 Saturday morning for game watching.  (expect 10 or 15 text messages about this)

And McGuinness opens for breakfast at 9 anyway, so they’re an option.

If you know of other places, let me know and I’ll add them to the list.