Category: Uncategorized

The Blind Bear is trying something different at Sunday brunch today. They’re adding live music by Adam Levin starting at 1 PM. I don’t know who Adam Levin is but the Facebook event’s cover photo has him in front of a piano. And the Blind Bear has a piano. So there you go.

I can’t make it due to other plans, but I am pleased to see the Bear trying a live musician for brunch. In my first days of going out for brunch Downtown – some 20 years ago – I’d go to Sleep Out Louie’s on Sundays where jazz musician Charlie Wood would play. I didn’t know a lot of the other regulars at first, but we bonded over singing along with Charlie and talking to him during breaks. Same thing with Pam & Terry on Friday night. Live music can unify a roomful of people.

I’m all for the Bear trying new ideas, as long as they’re not ideas that will run off most of the bar’s existing regulars. * coughmaleburlesquecough *

My TV producer friend tells me that the Earl Young Sports Legacy Symposium will be broadcast live on Bally Sports Southeast Monday at 3:30, immediately preceding the MLK Day game broadcast. I should be at the Bear at that time and I’m gonna try to get the symposium on a TV with either sound or closed captioning. Because what else is there to watch at 3:30 on a Monday, Judge Judy? For those not familiar, the symposium is a panel discussion about sports and race, Always quite interesting to listen to.

For those of you off work for the holiday, I’ve confirmed with bartender Allie Cat that Bardog will open as normal at 8 AM Monday.

Did you know that Riverside Drive used to be a garbage dump? ABC 24 has details.

Well dammit II STILL can’t upload pics to this blog via WordPress. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. JSON error I think. Otto – if you’re reading this, any ideas? I’m running the current version of WordPress, taking the photos from my iPhone 11 (yes I know you hate iPhones) and uploading from my MacBook Air (yes I know you hate Macs).

Anyway, I wanted to upload pics so you could see my Christmas presents that the butt sluts brought me yesterday. I’ll just link to the ones I can find:

• A Pabst Blue Ribbon “Milwaukee, Wis. Good-Time Flavor” shirt. It has an image of a skeleton/Grim Reaper figure carrying a can of PBR and an “1844” flag. Like this one but long-sleeved. Which is good because I needed a long-sleeved T-shirt that fits.
• A Burp Loading, Please Wait T-shirt featuring the little spinner icon the computer shows you to let you know it’s busy. Butt Slut #2 hates it when I burp; Butt Slut #1 doesn’t care and simply says “burp” to acknowledge it.
• A pair of Christmas glasses with gold glitter and a snowman and a Christmas tree. READERS: If you ever see me wearing those things in public, you have permission to SHOOT ME DEAD on sight.
• A packet of Land O’ Lakes Classic Cocoa Mix, hazelnut & chocolate flavor

Today is National Strawberry Ice Cream Day. During the coldest part of the winter?

The Grizzlies are still tied for the lead in the West after defeating Indiana last night. Technically, though, they’re second in the West because Denver holds the tiebreaker.

Danny Green is getting closer to recovering from his injury, participating in his first 5-on-5 practice with the Grizzlies this week. The 35-year-old is a 3-time NBA champion with a wealth of experience to offer. He’s been fitting in really well in the locker room.

Weather today: 56/no chance of rain today, 47 and rising/10% chance of rain tonight. Oooh, for a white boy like me, that’s borderline shorts territory. Two problems though: The temp has to rise to 56 from a low around 30 last night. Also, we’ll be looking at winds in the 13-15 MPH range.

Nextdoor headline this morning: “Dog urine is ruining our pot and plant.” Man, if I smoked weed and had a dog and he pissed on it, he’d get a one-way ticket to Memphis Animal Services.

There’s now a location for the DNA meeting Tuesday, January 24 at 5:30 PM: The new event center at 111 Madison. I didn’t even know there was a new event center; right around the corner from me, guess I’ll have to go! Downtown news & tips, Mud Island updates, safety updates, and a guest speaker still TBA.

I nailed all 5 specials at Bardog brunch yesterday, although Butt Slut #1 claimed I got one wrong because I had “Blackened snapper” on my blog and it read “Blackened red snapper” on the board. Whatever. Reminds me, though, of a famous story of Led Zeppelin ice fishing with a red-haired groupie. “Let’s see how your red snapper likes this red snapper.” No, really, they did that. Look it up.

Anyway, predictions for Bardog’s brunch specials today:

• Blackened RED snapper
• Strawberry or blueberry pancakes
• Lobster omelette
• Chicken-N-Waffles
• Grilled pork chop

SSDD

Meeting my friend Randy there at 11. Back tomorrow with more news.

So, yesterday I posted about how I like to read one of Dr. King’s speeches or essays every MLK Day weekend. I posted a link to an archive.

I was totally gonna pull up that archive on my phone at Bardog yesterday and get my reading in. (Hey, nobody said you can ONLY read Dr. King’s work in a library.)

Then Price Is Right came on and I forgot.

Isn’t that a sad commentary on where we are as a society?

I missed a chance to be inspired by one of the great orators of the past 100 years.

But, hey, I got to see Plinko.

That’s my favorite of all the Price Is Right games.

They had this dumb 18-year-old on there who didn’t win much money. You want to drop your chips in the middle of the Plinko board and drop them slowly. That’s your best chance of hitting the $10,000 slot.

But seriously, anybody got a rec for a Dr. King speech/essay to read? In recent years I’ve read Letter from a Birmingham Jail, some of his 1967/68 stuff, and one of his first speeches (1955 I believe). What gap should I fill in?

Now, on to a different topic.

Pet Peeve: People who sit at the bar at restaurants and have long, loud speakerphone conversations (traditional phone call or Facetime)

It is fucking RUDE to the other guests at the bar to subject them to your phone conversation.

Now, a quick convo with a PURPOSE, I can understand. Examples:

• “We’re still on for 2:30, right? Where are we meeting? Okay, thanks, bye.”
• “I left the door unlocked and kenneled the dog, so the maintenance man can come in and service my heater. Thanks. Bye.”
• “Oh, there was a problem with the auto-run of the daily report? Let me get out my laptop and dig into it. Thanks for letting me know. Bye.”

On the other hand, this is NOT cool:

• “HEY WHADDUP GIRL” followed by 45 minutes of random, pointless bullshit

If you must have those kinds of conversations, here are some suggestions:

1 – Have those conversations before or after you leave the restaurant

The bar area is not your private living room. You share it with other people. So find a way to have those conversations in a place that is more exclusively yours.

2 – Take your phone outside to have those conversations

Yes, I know it’s cold this time of year. But smokers go outside to partake in their nasty habit all the time. And your conversation is annoying as their smoke.

3 – Sit at a table, not the bar

This isn’t ideal, but at least you’re not shoulder to shoulder with strangers while you have your conversation.

4 – Text instead

Despite the slightly vulgar nickname (which I didn’t create), I think most of you have figured out that Butt Slut #1 and I are pretty fabulous friends. You know how many times she and I have actually TALKED on the phone?

ZERO. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Bupkus. Goose egg.

If I called her up and said, “Hey, girl, I just wanted to shoot the shit witcha for a while,” she’d think I had lost my mind. She’d think she was being set up for a practical joke.

You can text as much as you want without disturbing those around you. Make the text app your friend.

(steps off soapbox)

Everyone get through Friday the 13th okay? Miraculously, I did.

Let’s get on to the news.

Today is Feast of the Ass. I’ll sidestep the obvious joke (since that person has already been mentioned today) and instead say “Cheers” to my friend Krisma who raises donkeys on her farm.

The Grizzlies play a road game vs. the Indiana Pacers tonight at 6. TV is Bally Sports Southeast. Game preview

Penny’s Tigers hit the road to play Temple Sunday at 2. TV is ESPN2. The Tigers are currently projected as Last Four In in ESPN’s Bracketology. This game is more or less a must-win.

More than 30 artists will have their art exhibited in Marshall Arts and Slim & Husky’s for a month.

For those of you who remember Michael Cahaal’s Cafe Roux on Front Street, Jennifer Biggs of the DM has his shrimp and crawfish etouffee recipe.

The annual Race for Reconciliation is Monday at AutoZone Park.

Shen Yun returns to the Cannon Center the last weekend of January.

Magician Mike Super 2.0 comes to the Halloran Centre tonight. Tickets are $37.50.

Predictions for Bardog brunch specials today:

• Blackened snapper
• Lobster omelette
• Strawberry or blueberry pancakes
• Chicken-N-Waffles
• Grilled pork chop

TL;DR: SSDD.

That’s it for now. Back tomorrow with more news.

I don’t have a good feeling about this. I’d probably be well-advised to stay home all day. That’s not gonna happen though.

First Jeff Beck died, then Lisa Marie Presley. These things usually happen in threes. I wonder if #3 will happen today and who it will be. I hope it’s not another Yardbirds guitarist (Clapton, Page).

Cerrito Trivia announced a new venue yesterday. They’ll be at Longshot every Thursday. Where else can you play trivia and shuffleboard at the same time?

The Grizzlies have announced the lineup of events for Monday’s MLK Day game. Former basketball players Nancy Lieberman, Gary Payton, and Luol Deng will be honored at the celebration, as will current Tennessee State football coach Eddie George.

I always try to read something by Dr. King – a speech or essay – over MLK Day weekend. Here’s an archive if you want to do so, too.

ESPN reports that Triple-A Minor League Baseball games, including games the Redbirds play, will have an electronic strike zone this coming season. No more home plate umps who are blind as bats.

Blues City Cafe will be closed Tuesday night for their company Christmas party.

It’s National Rubber Ducky Day. Get one at the Peabody gift shop.

A city councilman says we need big ideas to curb Downtown crime. Interesting… Blue Suede Brigade will add a night shift. That should help.

The DM has a report on the DMC’s State of Downtown address this week. Service industry: You may soon qualify for a $30 Downtown parking pass.

The Main St. trolleys can’t cross Monroe because of that pipe I mentioned in yesterday’s post. You have to get off, step over the pipe, and get on another trolley.

Free admission to the National Civil Rights Museum on Monday.

All right. That’ll do it. Stepping out into this world to face Friday the 13th head-on.

So, last night about 12:00 I was walking home from Blind Bear. As I got to the intersection of Main and Monroe I discovered a large pipe lying all the way across the road. MLGW is doing sewer repair work in the area. It was a bit scary because the pipe was ~8 inches in diameter and I have bad legs and would have had trouble stepping over it. But there’s an orange platform on the west side of Main where you can get by.

DAMMIT I just realized…. I’m now required to text the butt sluts every night and inform them I made it home safely. I missed a perfect opportunity to make an “8 inches of pipe” joke in last night’s text.

Every morning I get an email linking to stats site Fivethirtyeight’s top story. Today it was Memphis-related: Jaren Jackson Jr. is the top candidate for Defensive Player of the Year, but an unusual candidate. By some measures, he resembles Dennis Rodman more than any past winner. Dye your hair Beale Street Blue, Jaren!

The Blind Bear Speakeasy has announced its St. Valentine’s Day Massacre party for Saturday, February 11. Queenager will play, prizes for best costumes, more details to be announced. Party like it’s 1929!

Lorenzen Wright’s jersey (55) will be retired by the Tigers on February 4.

It’s Curried Chicken Day. The Nine Thai Sushi has red, green, and massaman curries.

Cheers to Ja Morant for making things right when an 11-year-old fan’s autographed basketball was stolen at a recent game.

No, WWE has not been sold to the Saudis yet, although it could happen. I hate to see Vinnie Mac back as chairman of the board, though. I hope he doesn’t get involved in the creative process.

RIP Jeff Beck

That’ll do it for today. Back tomorrow.

It’s gonna be a warm one today folks. MemphisWeather.net is predicting a high of 69 and a low of 59 with showers moving in after midnight. It’ll be a shorts day for me for sure. Although, I’ll still wear a hoodie or fleece of some sort because I tend to sit right in the path of the air vent at Blind Bear.

Tennessee got some excellent news yesterday: IN-N-OUT BURGER IS COMING!!!!! They haven’t announced what cities will get one yet. PLEASE put one in Memphis!!! And not way out on G-town Parkway or Goodman Road. Midtown or closer!

I lived in San Diego for 6 months and am well familiar with the chain. The main thing to know is that you can (and should) order off their secret menu. Actually, there are only 4 words you need to know: Double Double Animal Style. That’s two beef patties, two slices of cheese, with the beef patties cooked in mustard, extra spread, grilled onions, pickles, lettuce, tomato. BEST BURGER EVER.

Yes it’s better than Whataburger. There I said it.

The closest Memphis comparison would be Dyer’s double double. Thin patties, greasy, cheesy. OH SO GOOD.

The Downtown Neighborhood Association has announced its first meeting of 2023 on Tuesday, January 24 at 5:30. Location TBD but you can expect

• Downtown development updates
• Mud Island updates
• Safety updates
• Downtown news

I’ll update you when there’s word on the location.

Penny’s Tigers are in Orlando tonight to play UCF. 6 PM Central. ESPN+ appears to be your only TV option.

I was sitting next to a couple at Blind Bear last night and they had the lasagna and they told the bartender it was the best they ever had. “It’s the sauce,” they commented. “It’s real Bolognese. Not just meat in tomato sauce like most places.”

My TV producer friend Shrek recently posted about Bluff City Tee where you can get all kinds of Grizzlies and Tigers themed shirts. I want the Hammer, Nail, Coffin, This Baby Is Over shirt. It’s a catchphrase of announcer Pete Pranica.

New rules have been proposed for horse-drawn carriages in Memphis. No whips to be used on the horses. Reduced hours they can work. Sound systems to be limited. No carriage rides when below 32 or above 95. Steps in the right direction.

That’s it for today. Back tomorrow.

WOW that college football playoff championship game was difficult to watch. Georgia blew out TCU as though it were a Week 1 game vs. Troy or Rice. I had no dog in the fight but I prefer to see a competitive game.

Tune into Facebook Live to hear The State of Downtown 2023 at 4 PM this Thursday. It will be presented by the Downtown Memphis Commission.

There will be an I Love Memphis Blog celebration Wednesday at Mollie Fontaine’s from 5 to 7 PM. They’ll be congratulating longtime blogger Holly Whitfield, who is leaving to become Digital Director at The Daily Memphian. They’ll also introduce the team that will be taking over content creation for that blog. RSVP is required. First 100 get two free drink tickets.

The Grizzlies remain tied for first in the West following a victory over San Antonio last night. Next up is ANOTHER home game vs. the Spurs Wednesday night at 7. Well that’s just weird scheduling. Saves on travel costs I guess. If I get a chance, I’ll ask my TV producer friend if he knows why the NBA does that.

Service industry friends: There’s a new website called Memphis Food Jobs. I see there are multiple positions available Downtown.

Loflin Yard will have a Service Industry New Year’s party Sunday the 15th from 6-10 PM.

• $3 Jameson
• $3 Bud Light draft
• Cornhole and beer pong tournaments at 7
• Champagne toast at 9:30

Be especially careful if you walk in the area of Main and MLK at night. There have been attempted robberies the past 3 nights: A guy on foot pointing out targets to two guys in cars, one a late 2000s black sedan. It’s an ideal area for that sort of thing: People are walking home/back to their hotels from Downtown core/Beale Street bars and there are no businesses open on that block where people would be keeping a watchful eye.

Feast & Graze will start doing a bottomless brunch February 19. $67 per adult, prepaid reservations only. Unlimited servings of

• Salmon BLT tacos
• Turkey & brie croissants
• Everything Bagel crostinis
• Whipped goat pancakes
• Ham & cheese paninis
• Steak & egg mini frittatas
• Tomato & chutney meatballs
• Chicken sausage skewers
• Caprese
• Yogurt parfait
• Fruit cup
• Shrimp Cobb salad
• Wine
• Beer
• Cocktails

Guys? This’d be a fabulous Valentine’s gift for your lady.

The 2023 schedule for Memphis 901 FC is out. The home opener is March 11.

Former Tiger DeAngelo Williams has been voted into the College Football Hall of Fame.

A co-working spot will open at 107 S. Main.

That’ll wrap it up for today. Back tomorrow with more news.

First things first: HEY BUTT SLUT #1 YOUR STUPID COWGIRLS LOST!!!!!

And they did NOT play the Washington Redskins as you told me yesterday. That team no longer exists. The final score was the Washington COMMANDERS 26, Dallas Cowgirls 6.

Don’t you have any sensitivity toward Indians? Meaning, feather Indians as opposed to dot Indians.

Yesterday at the Blind Bear we said goodbye to our brother Nappin Ass Nate. OMG it was beautiful. Charles you are a brilliant master of ceremonies. There were so many stories of how Nate cared about his friends, and how he went out of his way to be there for them.

I cried. A lot.

I didn’t get on the mic due to an accident I had earlier in the day, so I’ll say my piece here. Nate, I would compare you to Norm (from the TV show Cheers). But that’s not personal enough. That’s not Memphis enough.

Nate, you were the DILLON MOTHERFUCKIN BROOKS of the Blind Bear. You may not have been the flashiest, but in your own way, you were a badass and the glue that held our merry band of misfits together.

Love you forever, bro.

Shit, dog.

Someone bought a round of shots of Rumple for the room. OMG I hate Rumple but for Nate I did it.

And yes, I got my 4 mini corn dogs with honey mustard. I did not get to force-feed Butt Slut #1 a corn dog with mustard. She and I were totally gonna wrestle at the Bear (Nate would have loved it) but I fell and bloodied my nose on Union walking over from Bardog.

Yes, I’m OK. Thanks to my friends who ran and got napkins and bandages.

The Grizzlies are tied for first in the West following last night’s win over Utah.

All right. That’s all I’ve got this morning. Back tomorrow.

This is gonna be a weird post.

Today my Downtown friends and I will say goodbye to our brother.

A brother who was 12 years younger than me.

His ashes will be raised onto the beam above the bar at Blind Bear next to Jeannette’s dad Rick’s ashes.

One day I want my ashes to sit next to theirs.

Which makes me realize something.

I need a will.

My friend Nate had parents alive to approve his plan. I have no one. My mom died 6 years ago this month. I have no brothers or sisters. I have no children. Hell, I don’t even have a pet.

Anyone know how to get a will done?

I once saw a late-night TV commercial that offered a will consultation, an AOL.com membership, a 24-pack of adult diapers, and a bucket of Miller Lite at the corner table at Max’s Sports Bar for one low price. Anyone have that 1-888 number?

So anyway, as I understand it, the Bear will open for brunch 11-2 then close down 2-3 to prepare for Nate’s celebration. Probably I’ll lead off at Bardog then head over about 2:30 with Butt Slut #1. The Bear will be closed at the time but we know people.

Oh… that reminds me…

Yesterday I was telling Butt Slut #1 how at least 4 of the 120 mini corn dogs being served at Nate’s celebration have “Paul Ryburn” written all over them and they’re gonna be doused in mustard (his favorite condiment).

“I hate mustard,” she responded.

WHO DOESN’T LIKE MUSTARD?????

Ketchup I can understand. It’s a child’s condiment. But mustard?

What a weirdo. She doesn’t deserve to be an American. Can we extradite her someplace? I hear Mongolia is nice this time of year.

Goal for today: Force-feed Butt Slut #1 a mini corn dog covered in mustard.

The Tigers got a 69-59 win over ECU yesterday, but it was ugly. Coach Penny is getting a new shoe.

Jazz vs. Grizzlies, 5 today, Bally Sports SE.

Purple Drank is back on tap at Max’s Sports Bar.

Sorry this blog has sucked lately. I’ll try to do better.

Just wanted to remind those who knew him that there will be a celebration of life for our dear friend Nate tomorrow (Sunday) at the Blind Bear 3-7 PM. There will be 120 mini corn dogs (Nate loved mustard) and I think some other finger foods. Those who wish to get on the mic and say a tribute to our nappin-ass brother will have the opportunity.

Nate’s ashes will sit on the beam above the bar next to co-founder Rick’s.

Congratulations to Holly from the I Love Memphis Blog on her new role at the DM. Holly will lead the online pub’s digital team. Also congrats to the DM on a badass hire.

Here are the results from WWE Smackdown in Memphis last night. Sami Zayn, man. I wonder if he’s gonna end up in the echelon of Rock, Flair, Austin, and Dusty by the time he retires. He’s certainly been on that velocity the past 6 months.

Today is National Pass Gas Day.

Good chance of rain and above normal temps (shorts weather) in the forecast today.

The Tigers play East Carolina at 1 today at home. TV is ESPN+.

Utah at the Grizzlies 5 PM tomorrow. TV: Bally Sports Southeast. It’ll be Girl Scout Night.

Predictions for Bardog’s brunch specials today:

• Blackened salmon
• Chicken-N-Waffles
• Grilled pork chop
• Strawberry or blueberry pancakes

All right. That’s it. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day so I’ll be back Monday.

So last night I was hanging out at Blind Bear with Butt Slut #1, Butt Slut #2, and Late Night Larry. Butt Slut #2 told me, “When I invented the butt slut thing, I meant for it to be a small thing among a few people. Then you went and blogged it and made it a huge deal. Do you know what you are, Paul?”

And I totally get what she meant to say next.

She meant to refer to me as a founding father of the butt sluts.

The instigator.

The publicist.

But that’s not what she said.

She told me, “It’s like you’re the daddy of the butt sluts.”

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

WHO’S… YOUR… DADDY?

I have never been so proud of a nickname in my life.

All right. Let’s get on to the news.

I’m so excited I could slap someone: Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle are coming to FedExForum January 23.

In other FedExForum news, The Street Profits vs. the Usos for the tag titles has been announced as the main event of Friday’s WWE Smackdown. Montez F’N Ford baby.

Silly Goose is now doing 2 for $20 wood-fired pizza Thursday from 5 to 8.

And now…

RATING BAR CHAIRS
– Captain’s chair (wraps around your back) 10/10
– Bucket chair with square footrest 7/10
– Bucket chair with round footrest 5/10
– Bar itself does not have a footrest (minus 5)

Grizzlies are at Charlotte tonight at 6. TV is Bally Sports Southeast. Time to grind!

Get your free tickets to Ailey – A Documentary Screening on January 13 at the Halloran Centre.

Today is National Spaghetti Day. Get it at Bardog with Aldo’s Grandma’s New Jersey Balls. Cheers to Mama Aldo, who I’m told still reads this blog every day.

Ja Morant is being sued for allegedly punching a teen.

There’s a sketching class at Bass Pro Saturday from 10 to noon.

All right. Your Big Bad Butt Slut Daddy is signing off for today. Holla if you hear me!