The Cowboys won, but they lost

They won my poll and I did indeed root for them, but they lost to the 49ers in the NFC (I think? I really don’t care about pro football) Divisional.

So relieved I don’t have to listen to Butt Slut #1 talk about her stupid Cowgirls for 7 months.

I have no news to report. You basically came here to read a garbage post today.

Back tomorrow. Somebody do something so I have material to write about.

And on the off-chance he still reads this blog, happy 50th to my friend KH.

Should I root for the Dallas Cowboys today?

I have legit reasons for hating the Tennessee Vols. Their fan base is the shittiest in all of college athletics. They throw golf balls and mustard bottles onto the field. They tear down goalposts and throw them in the river. I personally know Vols fans who are pretty horrible people (although, to be fair – I know Vols fans who are awesome people too).

Lately I’ve been rooting against the Dallas Cowboys, calling them the “Cowgirls” and such.

It’s not that I hate Dem Boyz – really, I don’t much care one way or the other about ANY NFL team. The only thing NFL I TRULY root for is for the season to hurry up and end so I can watch basketball.

And I have nothing personal against the Cowboys’ fan base as I do the Vols.

I’ve been talking trash about the Boyz to irritate one person.

And, in the past 10 or so days, that person has

  • Given me two badass T-shirts as belated Christmas presents
  • Bought me a ticket to see The Price Is Right Live on April 1
  • Told me she loves me at least 15 times
  • The one night I forgot to text and tell her I made it home safely, she told me she got anxiety

She’s a huge Cowboys fan. Should I root for Dem Boyz today in support of her? They play the Niners at 5:30 on FOX.

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Cowboys

Should I root for the Cowboys today?

I’ll check the poll results at 5:29 and what the majority says to do, I will do.

Let’s get on to the news…

The Tigers travel to Cincinnati for a noon game vs. the Bearcats. TV: ESPN2. Preview

The World Famous Glenn Miller Orchestra plays the Orpheum on Monday, January 30. Isn’t that like an old people thing? I wonder if the folks who sit at the corner table at Max’s are going. They could pre-game with liver & onions at Picadilly at 4:15 (if they go to the one in Whitehaven, they might see King Willie) then head to the theater.

“Boy, the week Glenn Miller played” was the opening line Archie Bunker sang in the theme song of All in the Family.

There’s a Mendelssohn violin concerto by Memphis Symphony Orchestra at the Cannon Center today and tomorrow.

If you’re a Daily Memphian subscriber, they have a really good 3-part series on Grizzlies guard Desmond Bane this weekend.

The Grizzlies play at Phoenix 7 tonight. TV: Bally Sports South

Today is National Hot Sauce Day. I’d tell you to go to Maciel’s, but they’re closed on Sunday! I’ll let you in on a secret though: The green sauce in a bottle at Bardog.

Order a Bardog Breakfast and put it on your scrambled eggs and your breakfast potatoes.

This is pretty cool: Buzz Aldrin, the second astronaut to set foot on the moon, got married last week. Aldrin is 93.

South Main Sounds will have its 8th-anniversary show on Friday.

More details on the return of poker on Mondays at the Silly Goose: 7 PM main game, $125 in prizes; 9 PM turbo, $25 in prizes.

Daaaaang… Will Graceland have to be sold to pay off Lisa Marie’s debts?

Food & Wine: The 8 essential items that keep restaurant customers coming back. ALL OF THIS and I’ll add one: Footrest (appropriate height) at the bar. Friday I stayed home from one of my usual spots due to lack of a footrest. Saturday I sat at a bar whose footrest was so low, they might as well not have had one at all.

That’s it for this morning. Probably back tomorrow with more news.

Saturday update – lots of Blind Bear news

But before we get to the Bear news, a DOWNTOWN PRO DRINKING TIP: I have it on good authority (from an ex-employee) that Michael and Yari will be filling in at the brunch shift at Bardog today. Two weekends ago Michael made me the most incredible spicy Bloody Mary I’ve ever had that I did not make myself. HE MUDDLED THE JALAPENOS. OMG so good. If you like spicy, get up there and ask him to make you a Bloody.

The guy has phenomenal taste in music too. I use my Shazam app a lot when he’s behind the bar.

The latter half of this coming week is going to be a big one at Blind Bear:

  • Thursday, from my hometown of Little Rock, Joey Barrett comes to play live. Also it will be Myrical’s last night
  • Friday, FreeWorld makes their return to the Bear!!! So excited to hear them in that venue… and a bit sad that Dr. Herman Green won’t be on stage with them

“But, Paul,” you’re asking, “Friday is normally burlesque night. What about burlesque?”

Glad you asked!

  • On Saturday, January 28, there will be a special Saturday performance of Velvetina’s Speakeasy Burlesque. The show starts at 10 PM and James & The Ultrasounds will be their backing band

But, enough about next week. What about tonight?

Mountain Dew Baja Blast hot sauce is a thing and I want some.

Today is Squirrel Appreciation Day.

The Grizzlies’ win streak came to an end against the L.A. Lakers last night, 122-121. Up next: at Phoenix Sunday night at 7.

Kevin Keough, owner of Cafe Keough in my apartment building, appears on a DM podcast this week.

80% chance of rain tonight.

WREG: Police catch a man casing cars with burglary tools in Harbor Town

Springhill Suites, a hotel on the Main Street Mall facing Court Square, seeks a bartender.

That’ll do it. Headed to Bardog for brunch with Randy and Butt Slut #1. I want some more of those strawberry pancakes. Or maybe I’ll try the blueberry this week.

Y’all. Butt Slut #1 is going out of town next weekend. I hate to admit it but I’m gonna miss her SO MUCH.

Anyway, if there’s news to report, I’ll be back tomorrow. Otherwise, Monday.

Friday update

My friend Cinnamon brought me some broccoli cheese casserole from The Cupboard yesterday. OMG so good. Rich and fluffy and not sandbagged down with rice as I thought it might be. 10/10 would STRONGLY recommend if you’ve never had it.

Grrrrrrrrr… WordPress is STILL not letting me upload pics… WTF is wrong with this blog… it’s a beautiful pic that has a PBR can and Perjorie T. Roll in it.

And now, on to the news…

There were indeed prizes in those hongbao (lucky red envelopes) the Grizzlies handed out at Wednesday’s game. According to my friend Luanne who is a member of the Grizzlies Grannies & Grandpas dance team, one person won an entire bobblehead set. Another won a Jaren bobblehead. A third won Elvis glasses.

As of last night, the Grizzlies were only +900 (bet 100 to win 900) on Caesar’s Sportsbook to win the NBA championship. Shortest odds I’ve seen on them.

Ben Johnson will be back as manager of the Redbirds in 2023.

Atomic Rose is looking to hire an expo cook on Sundays. 10 AM to 4 PM, $20/hour

Memphis Made is having Australia Day in its taproom next Thursday. Here are the details:

Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!
Join us for Australia Day Thursday, Jan. 26 as we celebrate our great friends from the Land of Oz.
We’ll have Australian Trivia (history, media, murderous wildlife, and a picture round) starting around 7 p.m.
There’s also going to be a Meat Auction with gift cards and more from South Point Grocery, Charlie’s Meat Market, and Fresh Market, among others. Proceeds go to WIRES, Australia‚Äôs largest wildlife rescue organization.

Music Fest news: The blues tent will move to Beale Street and will be free for 2023

The city may start using a van to scan for potholes.

By popular demand, the party on the patio is back at Silky’s with a DJ Friday-Saturday 9 PM-1 AM.

DeAndre Williams racked up 29 and 15 last night as the Memphis Tigers defeated Wichita State.

Danny Broadway is taking over Memphis in May poster work following the death of artist George Hunt.

There will be a free Bonfire and Crafts event this Saturday at Carolina Watershed from 2 to 7.

StyleBlueprint: Your updated guide to South Main: A hot spot with rich history

The CA has a first look at The Lobbyist, the new restaurant going into the ground floor of the Chisca. Jimmy Gentry will be the chef.

It’s National Cheese Lovers Day. Go order you an Aldo’s Pizza Pie with extra cheese. Or, if you want something smaller, the Blind Bear has a badass cheese quesadilla as an off-menu item.

That’s it. Got a lot of errands to run tomorrow but I’ll try to post.

One in the Plinko, two in the stinko

Last night I attended a party in the Underdog Room at Bardog. It was for our friend Everett, who was celebrating his 60th anniversary practicing law. Congratulations Mr. Everett, it is both an honor and a pleasure to know you. May the heavens rain down Gus’s Fried Chicken upon you, sir.

After the party was over, I decided to remain at the upstairs bar rather than walk back to Blind Bear, due to the weather as well as my legs which are once again getting bad. That turned out to be a real treat. Colin is an ex-cop, a super cool dude, and a true gentleman. One of those people I wish I knew better. Then there’s James, who is Bardog OG, just as I am. On September 20, 2008, James served me one of my first PBRs there.

My friends Allie Cat (the morning weekday bartender) and Butt Slut #1 (Drink. I mentioned a butt slut) came up to me as I was sitting at the bar. “We have a surprise for you,” said Allie.

“What?” I replied.

“One in the Plinko, two in the stinko,” said Butt Slut #1.

“What’s that mean?” I asked.

“A bunch of us are going to The Price Is Right Live at the Orpheum on April 1,” Allie told me. “And you’re coming. We bought you a ticket.”

YAY! I could win A NEW CAR! Unfortunately, it’d probably be a Hyundai or Kia which would get stolen the next day.

Tigers vs. Wichita State, 6 PM tonight, FedExForum. TV: ESPNU

The Grizzlies got their 11th straight win last night thanks to a Steven Adams putback and a Dillon Broos block. Great teamwork. The Grizz are 0.5 games behind Denver (on an 8-game winning streak themselves) for first in the West. Next up: at the L.A. Lakers, 9 PM Friday, ESPN.

There’s a new program called Connect2Memphis where you can share your home security camera’s footage with MPD to help prevent & solve crimes. You can choose from 2 levels of access, depending on what you’re comfortable with:

  • Level 1: MPD can’t see your camera in real time, but they’re aware your camera is there and can request footage if they need it
  • Level 2: MPD can access your camera in real time. They’ll give you a chip to install

From Garden & Gun: Meet the pitmaster who’s cooked ribs at the Rendezvous for 3 decades

New Wing Order seeks line/prep cooks for their food truck and in their kitchen in the Ghost River taproom on Beale. Relevant job experience is preferred but they’re willing to train. Weekend and evening availability is a plus. Compensation is above the industry average and this is a rare line cook position that gets tipped out.

Construction is happening at the new Fat Tuesday at 8 S. Main. I peeked in Tuesday and the bar appears to be built. It’s going to be interesting (and not necessarily in a good way) to have a bar next to a 112-unit apartment building.

RIP Tusk V, live mascot of the Arkansas Razorbacks.

River Rat Rounders starts poker back at Silly Goose next week.

Zio Matto Gelato is looking to hire a FedExForum worker 1-2 days/evenings per week. $15/hour.

There will be a homegoing procession for dearly departed musician Butch Mudbone on Beale this Saturday.

Party City has filed for bankruptcy.

From the CA: Where to find king cakes in Memphis. Downtowners: Primas on South Main is your spot.

Anyone get anything in the hongbao (lucky red envelopes) the Grizzlies gave away for Lunar New Year last night? There’s an old poot in the South Main district who is an aficionado of all things Asian. Wonder if he went.

Butt Slut #1 has shown up at Bardog, so I’m gonna sign out and say inappropriate things to her. Back tomorrow.

Wednesday update

Short post today. I don’t want to take the laptop on the road with me due to the threat of rain.

The first 5000 fans at the Grizzlies game tonight (vs. Cleveland, tip at 7) get hongbao, a lucky red envelope, to celebrate the Lunar New Year.

There was a Memphis trip in one of the showcases on The Price Is Right yesterday. 6 (I think?) night stay at Hotel Indigo plus a food tour for two. Cristina is that one of your tours?

All the other news is not time-sensitive, so I’m gonna push it ’til ‘morrow.

Tuesday update

I’ve been on a psychic spree lately.

Shortly after I woke up yesterday, The Sundance Kid came to mind. That’s a movie character from old black & white Westerns – Butch Cassidy’s sidekick. I’ve never actually seen one of his movies. My grandmother told me about them. So The Sundance Kid probably last popped into my mind 35 years ago. I found it strange that he did yesterday.

I got dressed and went to Bardog, as I often do on holidays. Allie Cat had the Game Show Network on. It was a show where if you beat the other contestants, you go heads-up against trivia guru Ken Jennings for big money. Guess what the answer to one of the trivia questions was?

The Sundance Kid.

Freaky, man.

Fast-forward to about 10 last night. I was parked on a stool at Blind Bear, about one-third of my PBR can left, getting ready to order another. Just for shits & giggles I decided to check the radar on my phone. “Let’s see if i’m gonna get pelted with a few drops of rain on the way home.”

Nope. Not a few drops.

A line of torrential rain was about 10 minutes west of Downtown. “CHICO. TAB. NOW!” I said. I apologized to Chico for barking at him and explained the situation. He understood. I hoofed it home as fast as I can, texted the butt sluts that I made it safely, and crawled under the covers. As I did I heard heavy rain hit my window. Made it. Thank goodness for intuition.

Since I mentioned Chico… let’s do a list.

DOWNTOWN BARTENDERS WHO HAVE SERVED ME THE LONGEST

  1. Darrell (NightHawk) – King’s Palace Cafe, KPC Tap Room, other places – 20 years
  2. Chico – King’s Palace Cafe, KPC Tap Room, Blind Bear – 20 years
  3. Jeannette – Kooky Canuck, Silly Goose, now owner of Blind Bear – 17 years
  4. Bjarni – Lolo’s Table, Mollie Fontaine’s, Flying Saucer, Max’s Sports Bar – 15 years
  5. Jessica – Flying Saucer, Silly Goose, Max’s Sports Bar, Local on Main – 14 years

All right… let’s get on to the news…

The Grizzlies, on a 10-game winning streak, have risen to #3 in the NBA Power Rankings.

You have a few more days. Go vote for Ja, Jaren, and Des for the NBA All-Star Game.

Did you know that Ja leads the NBA in dunks among guards? He now has dunks against every other NBA team.

Missed the Earl Young Sports Legacy Symposium that preceded the Grizzlies game yesterday? Watch it here. NOTE: Fast-forward to 2:50 to get past the title graphic

Congrats to Keun “KD” Anderson, the Big Guy, who has been appointed Executive Chef at Loflin Yard. He plans to make the place a culinary destination as much as it is a spot to hang out and drink in the open air. (hat tip to Edible Memphis for the info)

There will be a Gene Bartow bobblehead giveaway Thursday to the first 1000 fans at FedExForum when Penny’s Memphis Tigers host Wichita State. Tip time is 6 PM. TV will be ESPNU.

Stand-up comic Wanda Sykes comes to the Orpheum Friday. Tickets are $39.50-$89.50.

Exciting news! The Portable Sanitation Association Convention & Trade Show comes to Downtown Memphis January 31-February 3. That’ll surely be a fun group of people to hang out with in the evening after their presentations are over. I can’t wait to hear about the latest advances in urinal cakes.

Today is Judgment Day.

Jesus has been charged with kidnapping.

Action News 5 has coverage of the MLK Day parade, which returned Downtown yesterday after a pandemic break.

Strong storms are possible tomorrow. Forecast radar indicates 5 PM may be the hour.

Star & Micey play Loflin Yard Saturday.

SugaShack at 392 Beale has Blues in the Basement this Thursday evening.

Blind Mississippi Morris plays Blues City Cafe Friday.

The Broom Closet will host a Revive. Renew. Thrive. group hypnosis session Saturday from 2 to 4.

Butt Slut #1 just joined me at the Monroe Avenue Branch Office. I did the impossible last night. I made her so mad that she blocked my texts for a few hours.

Remember, Sunday night I referenced one of her body parts (a part I don’t have) in the most lewd language possible, shocking our friends sitting with us. Did she block me for that? No. She shrugged it off and said, “That’s just the way Paul and I talk to each other.”

But Monday night I did something far worse.

I texted her “Go Bucs!” as they kicked off against her Dallas Cowboys.

That got me blocked.

Women.

Okay. The Showcase Showdown is about to come on, so I’m gonna hit Publish. Back tomorrow.

Monday update

Let me start off by reposting that archive of Dr. King’s speeches. I encourage all my readers to read or listen to one today.

The Grizzlies play the Suns in the MLK Day Game at 5:00. Yes the game is nationally televised on TNT… BUT, did you know Bally Sports Southeast is allowed to co-broadcast this one? Who ya gonna tune into – some national broadcasters ya never heard of, or your friends Pete, Brevin, and Fish? I think it’s 831 on Xfinity.

It’s Prohibition Remembrance Day. Celebrate with a Moonshine Monday shot at Blind Bear.

It’s also International Hot and Spicy Food Day. No Downtown recommendation but I do recommend you go to an Indian joint, order Chicken Tikka Masala, and request it extra spicy. We need an Indian restaurant down here.

I had the strawberry pancakes at Bardog y’day for the first time. Really good. I could have easily eaten them without syrup. Sorry I didn’t get a pic – still figuring out uploading issues.

Penny’s Memphis Tigers improved to 13-5 thanks to a Kendric Davis buzzer-beater for the 61-59 win over Temple. ESPN Bracketology continues to project Memphis as Last Four In.

Keep an eye on the forecast, because storms are likely Wednesday.

Billy Joel impersonating Mick Jagger! Thanks to my friend Randy for informing me of this:

So, there was an exchange between Butt Slut #1 and me at Blind Bear last night that perfectly illustrates the friendship we have:

  1. I said something INCREDIBLY vulgar to her. Has to do with a line from yesterday’s post and her being a brunette
  2. Mutual friend: “Paulie, you crossed the line with that one”
  3. Butt Slut #1: “No, with us there is no line”
  4. Butt Slut #1 flipped me off
  5. I flipped Butt Slut #1 off
  6. Butt Slut #1 wrapped her middle finger around my middle finger and we held middle fingers for a minute

Should I root for the Cowboys tonight in support of her? It goes against the values ingrained in me my entire life. As someone who grew up in Arkansas in the ’70s and ’80s, we were taught to hate all things Texas. But she is a good friend (oops, I mistyped “goof friend.” She’s that too).

You know where I go to celebrate holidays. See you tomorrow.

Sunday update

The Blind Bear is trying something different at Sunday brunch today. They’re adding live music by Adam Levin starting at 1 PM. I don’t know who Adam Levin is but the Facebook event’s cover photo has him in front of a piano. And the Blind Bear has a piano. So there you go.

I can’t make it due to other plans, but I am pleased to see the Bear trying a live musician for brunch. In my first days of going out for brunch Downtown – some 20 years ago – I’d go to Sleep Out Louie’s on Sundays where jazz musician Charlie Wood would play. I didn’t know a lot of the other regulars at first, but we bonded over singing along with Charlie and talking to him during breaks. Same thing with Pam & Terry on Friday night. Live music can unify a roomful of people.

I’m all for the Bear trying new ideas, as long as they’re not ideas that will run off most of the bar’s existing regulars. * coughmaleburlesquecough *

My TV producer friend tells me that the Earl Young Sports Legacy Symposium will be broadcast live on Bally Sports Southeast Monday at 3:30, immediately preceding the MLK Day game broadcast. I should be at the Bear at that time and I’m gonna try to get the symposium on a TV with either sound or closed captioning. Because what else is there to watch at 3:30 on a Monday, Judge Judy? For those not familiar, the symposium is a panel discussion about sports and race, Always quite interesting to listen to.

For those of you off work for the holiday, I’ve confirmed with bartender Allie Cat that Bardog will open as normal at 8 AM Monday.

Did you know that Riverside Drive used to be a garbage dump? ABC 24 has details.

Well dammit II STILL can’t upload pics to this blog via WordPress. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. JSON error I think. Otto – if you’re reading this, any ideas? I’m running the current version of WordPress, taking the photos from my iPhone 11 (yes I know you hate iPhones) and uploading from my MacBook Air (yes I know you hate Macs).

Anyway, I wanted to upload pics so you could see my Christmas presents that the butt sluts brought me yesterday. I’ll just link to the ones I can find:

  • A Pabst Blue Ribbon “Milwaukee, Wis. Good-Time Flavor” shirt. It has an image of a skeleton/Grim Reaper figure carrying a can of PBR and an “1844” flag. Like this one but long-sleeved. Which is good because I needed a long-sleeved T-shirt that fits.
  • A Burp Loading, Please Wait T-shirt featuring the little spinner icon the computer shows you to let you know it’s busy. Butt Slut #2 hates it when I burp; Butt Slut #1 doesn’t care and simply says “burp” to acknowledge it.
  • A pair of Christmas glasses with gold glitter and a snowman and a Christmas tree. READERS: If you ever see me wearing those things in public, you have permission to SHOOT ME DEAD on sight.
  • A packet of Land O’ Lakes Classic Cocoa Mix, hazelnut & chocolate flavor

Today is National Strawberry Ice Cream Day. During the coldest part of the winter?

The Grizzlies are still tied for the lead in the West after defeating Indiana last night. Technically, though, they’re second in the West because Denver holds the tiebreaker.

Danny Green is getting closer to recovering from his injury, participating in his first 5-on-5 practice with the Grizzlies this week. The 35-year-old is a 3-time NBA champion with a wealth of experience to offer. He’s been fitting in really well in the locker room.

Weather today: 56/no chance of rain today, 47 and rising/10% chance of rain tonight. Oooh, for a white boy like me, that’s borderline shorts territory. Two problems though: The temp has to rise to 56 from a low around 30 last night. Also, we’ll be looking at winds in the 13-15 MPH range.

Nextdoor headline this morning: “Dog urine is ruining our pot and plant.” Man, if I smoked weed and had a dog and he pissed on it, he’d get a one-way ticket to Memphis Animal Services.

There’s now a location for the DNA meeting Tuesday, January 24 at 5:30 PM: The new event center at 111 Madison. I didn’t even know there was a new event center; right around the corner from me, guess I’ll have to go! Downtown news & tips, Mud Island updates, safety updates, and a guest speaker still TBA.

I nailed all 5 specials at Bardog brunch yesterday, although Butt Slut #1 claimed I got one wrong because I had “Blackened snapper” on my blog and it read “Blackened red snapper” on the board. Whatever. Reminds me, though, of a famous story of Led Zeppelin ice fishing with a red-haired groupie. “Let’s see how your red snapper likes this red snapper.” No, really, they did that. Look it up.

Anyway, predictions for Bardog’s brunch specials today:

  • Blackened RED snapper
  • Strawberry or blueberry pancakes
  • Lobster omelette
  • Chicken-N-Waffles
  • Grilled pork chop

SSDD

Meeting my friend Randy there at 11. Back tomorrow with more news.

Saturday update

So, yesterday I posted about how I like to read one of Dr. King’s speeches or essays every MLK Day weekend. I posted a link to an archive.

I was totally gonna pull up that archive on my phone at Bardog yesterday and get my reading in. (Hey, nobody said you can ONLY read Dr. King’s work in a library.)

Then Price Is Right came on and I forgot.

Isn’t that a sad commentary on where we are as a society?

I missed a chance to be inspired by one of the great orators of the past 100 years.

But, hey, I got to see Plinko.

That’s my favorite of all the Price Is Right games.

They had this dumb 18-year-old on there who didn’t win much money. You want to drop your chips in the middle of the Plinko board and drop them slowly. That’s your best chance of hitting the $10,000 slot.

But seriously, anybody got a rec for a Dr. King speech/essay to read? In recent years I’ve read Letter from a Birmingham Jail, some of his 1967/68 stuff, and one of his first speeches (1955 I believe). What gap should I fill in?

Now, on to a different topic.

Pet Peeve: People who sit at the bar at restaurants and have long, loud speakerphone conversations (traditional phone call or Facetime)

It is fucking RUDE to the other guests at the bar to subject them to your phone conversation.

Now, a quick convo with a PURPOSE, I can understand. Examples:

  • “We’re still on for 2:30, right? Where are we meeting? Okay, thanks, bye.”
  • “I left the door unlocked and kenneled the dog, so the maintenance man can come in and service my heater. Thanks. Bye.”
  • “Oh, there was a problem with the auto-run of the daily report? Let me get out my laptop and dig into it. Thanks for letting me know. Bye.”

On the other hand, this is NOT cool:

  • “HEY WHADDUP GIRL” followed by 45 minutes of random, pointless bullshit

If you must have those kinds of conversations, here are some suggestions:

1 – Have those conversations before or after you leave the restaurant

The bar area is not your private living room. You share it with other people. So find a way to have those conversations in a place that is more exclusively yours.

2 – Take your phone outside to have those conversations

Yes, I know it’s cold this time of year. But smokers go outside to partake in their nasty habit all the time. And your conversation is annoying as their smoke.

3 – Sit at a table, not the bar

This isn’t ideal, but at least you’re not shoulder to shoulder with strangers while you have your conversation.

4 – Text instead

Despite the slightly vulgar nickname (which I didn’t create), I think most of you have figured out that Butt Slut #1 and I are pretty fabulous friends. You know how many times she and I have actually TALKED on the phone?

ZERO. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Bupkus. Goose egg.

If I called her up and said, “Hey, girl, I just wanted to shoot the shit witcha for a while,” she’d think I had lost my mind. She’d think she was being set up for a practical joke.

You can text as much as you want without disturbing those around you. Make the text app your friend.

(steps off soapbox)

Everyone get through Friday the 13th okay? Miraculously, I did.

Let’s get on to the news.

Today is Feast of the Ass. I’ll sidestep the obvious joke (since that person has already been mentioned today) and instead say “Cheers” to my friend Krisma who raises donkeys on her farm.

The Grizzlies play a road game vs. the Indiana Pacers tonight at 6. TV is Bally Sports Southeast. Game preview

Penny’s Tigers hit the road to play Temple Sunday at 2. TV is ESPN2. The Tigers are currently projected as Last Four In in ESPN’s Bracketology. This game is more or less a must-win.

More than 30 artists will have their art exhibited in Marshall Arts and Slim & Husky’s for a month.

For those of you who remember Michael Cahaal’s Cafe Roux on Front Street, Jennifer Biggs of the DM has his shrimp and crawfish etouffee recipe.

The annual Race for Reconciliation is Monday at AutoZone Park.

Shen Yun returns to the Cannon Center the last weekend of January.

Magician Mike Super 2.0 comes to the Halloran Centre tonight. Tickets are $37.50.

Predictions for Bardog brunch specials today:

  • Blackened snapper
  • Lobster omelette
  • Strawberry or blueberry pancakes
  • Chicken-N-Waffles
  • Grilled pork chop

TL;DR: SSDD.

That’s it for now. Back tomorrow with more news.