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This week I got most of the pieces ready for my Bruce Pearl costume. I figure most people will recognize who I am when they see me dressed in a loud orange jacket and orange tie. I’m also going to have a UT emblem on the jacket for further clarification. However, in case some people still don’t get it, I wanted to buy one additional prop – an orange basketball.

I didn’t want a full-size one… too hard to carry around when I’ll be carrying a beer most of the time as well. I wanted a mini-basketball, something I could easily hold in one hand. I went to a couple of sporting goods centers and struck out. Oh, they had mini-basketballs, but they were Grizzlies basketballs or they were red white and blue. I wanted a basketball that looked like a basketball that would be used in an NCAA game.

Then I went to Target and found this:

“That’s as close as I’m going to come,” I thought. “I can get a Sharpie and paint the black stripes on the Nerf ball.” So I bought it.

Today I took it out of its case and this is what I found:

WTF????? Why would anyone produce a basketball that looks like this? Half orange, half blue? Except in Florida Gator country this thing is useless. No one has a real basketball that looks like this. I can’t take this out with me – I’d look like a bigger idiot than the real Bruce Pearl! Nerf should be brought up on truth-in-advertising charges for their packaging of this product.

If anyone knows where I can get a mini-basketball that looks like an official NCAA ball (or close enough, orange with black stripes), let me know.

Long blog post today… I had most of this saved in Drafts before work, but couldn’t get it done and had to wait for my lunch break to finish it.

Good blog post by Dan Wolken this morning about Tennessee men’s basketball head douche, er, head coach, Bruce Pearl. Looks like the Bruchebag is in even more trouble than we knew, according to a letter from UT to Pearl released today. He invited high school students on an unofficial visit to a party at his house. He told them it was an NCAA violation and encouraged them to lie. He told one of their fathers to lie. He failed to self-report the violation and signed a compliance statement covering the period. He lied and said he did not know the location of a photo taken at his house. He lied and said he did not know a woman in a photo shown to him; the woman was the wife of one of his assitant coaches. As Wolken says on his blog, read the letter from UT to Pearl (it’s linked from his blog) and tell me the Vols are not in deep, deep trouble.

I am so going to enjoy dressing as Pearl for Halloween this year. His level of douchebaggery is reaching Calipariesque proportions. Maybe I can sell my orange jacket to whomever replaces him as UT head coach, after the university finally shows him the door.

In other sports news… the NBA is considering contraction as a way to return to profitability. Contraction is the opposite of expansion – meaning, the NBA would shrink to fewer teams. That might not be good news for the Grizzlies.

Looking for a job at a very cool company? archer>malmo is hiring. Click here for info on four positions: PR Account Exec, PR Account Coordinator, Art Director, and Copywriter.

This article in the CA covers RiverArtsFest, with a schedule of entertainment for all the festival’s stages. There were over 400 applicants, and through a juried process 180 were selected to exhibit at the festival. It happens on South Main tomorrow and Sunday.

Shelton Clothiers has a November sale with 20% off the entire store, but they’ve decided to go ahead and start it early… it starts today. As I mentioned recently, I bought a pair of pants there recently and was quite pleased with the service I received from Tom and his staff.

County Mayor Luttrell is looking for citizens to serve on local boards – see this CA article for details. Some positions require specialized skills or knowledge, but many just require the time commitment. If you want to get involved in local government, this is a very good way to get started. Also, service on a board looks great on a resume.

The Flyer’s Hungry Memphis blog had an article about Elliott’s new hours. The restaurant, on Second next door to Paula & Raiford’s Disco, will open from 11 PM to 4 AM Friday and Saturday nights, serving a limited menu for Raiford’s patrons and anyone else who wants a late night snack.

The Majestic Grille is having a Jam Jar Jazz dinner on Monday, November 1 at 6 PM to benefit the Memphis Farmers Market. Speakeasy price of $65 includes vintage cocktail wine pairings with dinner; temperance price of $45 includes dinner only. Call 901-522-8555 to make reservations. Advance reservations are required, and online reservations are not accepted for this event.

That’ll do it for now. I’ll be at RiverArtsFest this weekend… no idea what I’m getting into tonight though.

This is my first draft of Halloween parties I’m aware of that are open to the public Downtown. More to come probably… if you’re having one and I left you out, e-mail me at paul@paulryburn.com.

Friday, October 29

Halloween party at Hollywood Disco with costume contest

Saturday, October 30

Night two of Halloween party at Hollywood Disco with costume contests

Friends For Life, the largest HIV/AIDS service organization in the Mid-South, will have their annual fundraiser at BRIDGES. This year’s theme is “Shipwrecked!” There will be music by DJ Steve Anne, a cash bar, music, and a costume contest for cash prizes. Tickets are $35 in advance, $45 at the door. For an extra $100 you can get additional perks including access to a VIP room, premium liquor, a private bartender and signage recognition. Last year over 500 people showed up. Visit FFL’s website for more information.

The Flying Saucer’s annual Halloween party will start at 8 PM. There will be a $2 mystery beer tub – pay your $2 and reach in and grab one. Maybe you’ll get an expensive premium beer; maybe you’ll get a Schlitz. You never know. Music by DJ Porter and Scotty B. Costume contest with best costume getting $500 cash. Runner-up prizes for Saucer Girl look-alike and most original. Free if you’re a UFO member, $3 if not.

South of Beale will have its Halloween party Saturday night, with a costume contest from 10-midnight, with judging at midnight. Ghost River Brewery will be giving away prizes, with the grand prize being a private tour of the brewery for 12, including food and drink. They’ll have $3 Ghost River Black Magic all night.

The Silly Goose will have its party on Saturday. Costume contest with prizes $200 overall, $100 sexiest and $100 funniest. Live DJ with BCON, happy hour from 5 to 9 PM including $3 Fireball. If you want seats call 901-435-6915 and make reservations in advance; after 10 they cannot reserve seats. This would be worth attending just to see what Brick is wearing.

Sunday, October 31

There will be a family event at Mud Island River Park from 6:30 to 8:30 PM. Kids can trick-or-treat along a haunted River Walk. There will be candy, prizes, games, hayrides, and haunted train rides.

One of the best parties of the year is always the Kooky Canuck Halloween party. This year they’ll be kicking it off at 6 PM, with $2.50 34 oz. Super Cold Bud Light, as well as drink specials and a costume contest.

Bardog Tavern will have its Halloween party. Costume contest at 10, and at 11 they’ll have the drawing for the Cadillac hearse parked out front. There will be door prizes and drink specials.

Blues City Cafe will have a Halloween party with FreeWorld, with music starting at 10:30. Prizes will be awarded for the scariest, hottest, freakiest, and most creative costumes. FreeWorld will be throwing on some Halloween jams; they’ve played there almost every Sunday night since 1991.

Driving home, I got a phone call. I don’t like talking on the phone when I’m driving so I let it kick to voice mail.

I called it back when I got home and found an irate message from a Downtown business owner claiming I said something untrue about his business. *Sigh* I can’t win. This is really not my week. The good news is, after I called him back and listened to some of the worst English I have ever heard in my life, it looks like I’m gonna get a free T-shirt out of this.

More details to come. Will get a pic of the shirt as soon as I get it.

And by the way: Attn our mutual friend who gave him my number: Thanks for asking my permission to hand out my phone number! Geez.

One of my readers e-mailed to ask about a “french fried raccoon smell” that shows up Downtown once every 2-3 weeks, give or take a week. He asked what it is. I haven’t worked Downtown in a year and a half, so I guess I’m not familiar with the smell. Anyone know what he’s talking about?

If you’re having trouble deciding what you’re going to eat tonight, here’s a site that can help – whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com. Surely a site that cooks and foodies will want to bookmark. Thanks to Otto for finding this wonderful site and tweeting it.

Kudzu’s is celebrating its 20th anniversary this Sunday. They will have an all=day celebration starting at noon, with Nancy Apple, Roy Brewer, Lamar Sorrento, Campfire Boys, and Maria Spence among the names who will be performing.

The chef at Chez Phillippe is leaving at the end of this month to take a job in Philly at a Cuban restaurant. A national search will be conducted for a new chef. More details in this CA article.

The CA also had an article about a hidden gem of Downtown: Nice as New, a consignment shop in November 6th Alley, just north of Monroe. November 6th is between Main and Second. I only knew about it because I cross that alley every day from the parking garage to the back door of my building. In addition to the items for sale, he has all kinds of artifacts of Memphis history. Ladies, the article said he recently acquired an odd lot of COACH purses, so you might want to check that out.

I haven’t early voted yet and I’m glad I haven’t… I was leaning toward Bill Haslam for governor, which would have made it a very odd year that saw me vote for Republicans twice (Luttrell being the other). However, after Haslam said he’d rubber stamp the plan of the right-wing wackos in the legislature to let anyone walk around carrying a gun without a permit, I’m starting to reconsider. Got nothing against McWherter… just thought Haslam had more relevant experience. If he can’t stand up to his own party, though, maybe he’s not the man for the job.

Taking a week off from poker night at Max’s Sports Bar, due to the Third Thursday party at Main and Peabody Place. A couple of beers there, a couple of beers at the Saucer, maybe a couple of beers somewhere else are my plans for tonight.

The Beale Street Snuggie Pub Crawl will make its return next month, on Friday, November 19. Crawlers will don their Snuggies and drink at various bars on and near Beale Street. The schedule has expanded for this year – here’s the new lineup:

6 PM – Registration at Kooky Canuck
7 PM – BB King’s
8 PM – Club 152
9 PM – Silky O’Sullivan’s
10 PM – Rum Boogie Cafe
11 PM – Alfred’s for awards ceremony and prizes

There will be a Beale Street BINGO run at the crawl this year, with prizes for the first 5 completed bingo cards. There will also be prizes for Best Male, Best Female, Best Group, and Best in Show. You’re encouraged to decorate your Snuggie as you see fit.

Entry fee is $10, with proceeds going to Amelia’s Voice, a charity dedicated to the fight against RRP. Recurrent Respiratory Papillomatosis (RRP) is a disease in which tumors grow inside the larynx, vocal cords and trachea. It affects both children and adults. There is no known cure for RRP. If left untreated, these respiratory tumors will continue to grow, blocking the patientís airway with suffocation being the likely result.

Snuggies can be purchased at Wal-Mart, Walgreens, CVS, Target, and other retailers. You can also order them online, but beware – the Snuggie I ordered last year took 4 weeks to arrive.

I did this last year and it’s a fun way to meet new people and hit some of Downtown’s favorite bars. Come check it out! I’ll be rocking the Arkansas Razorback Snuggie this year.

Here’s a pic of the dish I mentioned in my last post… last night I went to the Silly Goose and tried their seafood macaroni, with shrimp, lobster and parmesan over macaroni in a cream sauce. It’s one of their three pasta bar dishes that has become popular enough to make it onto the all-day menu.

I stopped by the Silly Goose last night about 10. A new band started their first regular Tuesday night gig there last night, as Cameron moved away, and they asked me to come check them out. Once there, I started to get hungry, and asked for a menu. I noticed that it had changed quite a bit, and they told me the change happened about two weeks ago.

I got there too late to try their pasta bar, which I’ve heard is excellent and one of the best values Downtown. However, three of their most popular pasta dishes have made it onto the main menu. There’s a garden chicken alfredo, a pasta Tuscana with Italian sausage in a cream sauce, and seafood macaroni with lobster and shrimp. I decided to go with the seafood macaroni, which was really good.

They’ve also added some other items including a smoked gouda jalapeno burger, pork tenderloin rolls, parmesan chicken rolls, and an oven roasted ribeye. Old favorites like the flatbreads are still on the menu. Looks like a big step up, and I’m certainly going to be paying more attention to the Goose as an option for Paul’s Drunkass Food on the way home at night.

In other news: South of Beale is doing the same basketball promotion they did last year. Bring your Tigers or Grizzlies tickets in before or after the game, and receive 20% off food.

South of Beale has also announced that they’ll open early on Saturday, at noon, to accommodate RiverArtsFest attendees who want a bite to eat. The festival also runs Sunday, but SOB is always open early for brunch on Sundays.

The monthly Third Thursday party thrown by the block of businesses near Main and Peabody Place happens tomorrow from 5:30 to 7:30. Live music by Tonya Dyson and the Green Onions, The Sultana and Daddy Mack Blues Band. There will be food, drink, and retail specials at the shops. It’s free and parking will be validated for the 100 Peabody Place Garage. I want to send a special shout-out to one of the businesses on the block – Shelton Clothiers, who took good care of me recently when I went in to buy a pair of pants. I may go back and get one of their nice-looking club shirts to wear for my trip to Savannah.

Here’s something interesting I found… a new parade is coming to Beale Street. A Comic & Fantasy Parade will happen there Saturday, October 30, at 4 PM. It’s the kickoff event to the Memphis Comic and Fantasy Convention that will happen the following weekend.

There’s a Woot-off today on Woot.com.

Stuff going on tonight: Glass night (Woodchuck Cider) at the Saucer… Pint Nite at South of Beale… Rusty Lemon at the Silly Goose. I’ll probably have a few pints at the Saucer, then may wander over to the Goose for some more of their food.

Doing a quick check of Twitter as I begin this blog post. One of the people I follow tweeted “Photo: rockoutwithmycockout: ” and then a link to a photo. Yeah I don’t think I’ll be clicking that link.

Quick announcement before I get to today’s news and events. Per a conversation a bunch of us had on Facebook last night, we’ve decided to skip Saucer trivia this week and instead make Max’s Sports Bar (formerly Calhoun’s) our destination for this evening. Max’s has $2 pints of PBR, sports on 10 TVs, great wings, and Buzztime trivia and poker on the monitors. If the weather is good, maybe we’ll get a cornhole game going outside. You’re welcome to join us. We would love to see a big crowd tonight!

Attention foodies: Save the date of Wednesday, November 3. “A Taste of Hope” is coming to 515 S. Main Street. It will benefit the American Cancer Society Harrah’s Hope Lodge. Featured food will be from South of Beale and Napa Cafe, and there will be wine from Delta Wholesale Liquors. All attendees will have the chance to win gift certificates from local restaurants and hotels. Must be present to win. Tickets will be $25. Harrah’s Hope Lodge is scheduled to open in Memphis on November 18 and will provide free housing to adult cancer patients who have to travel to Memphis to seek treatment.

The RiverArtsFest folks sent me info about this weekend. I’m just going to copy and paste to save time:

Friday, October 22, 6p-9p: RiverArtsFest Preview Party at the Memphis College of Art Graduate School on South Main (477 South Main). Tickets are $30 and can be purchased at the door or by calling 901/278-6868. Event includes local restaurant food tasting, beverages and silent auction featuring works from South Main galleries and the RiverArtsFest Artist Market.

Saturday, October 23, 10a-6p and Sunday, October 24, 10a-5p: Fourth Annual RiverArtsFest in the historic South Main Arts District. Free. More than 190 juried fine artists in the Artist Market, more than 50 regional musical acts (coordinated by the Memphis Music Foundation as part of its Memphis Means Music initiative) on four stages, hands-on art projects, Artist in Motion artist demonstrations, food & beverages for sale, and much more. www.riverartsfestmemphis.org for performance schedule and more information. 901/278-6868.

Does RiverArtsFest have some kind of arrangement with the weather gods? For the third straight year, forecast is looking good for the event, with temperatures in the 80s which I’ll point out is tube top weather.

Lunch time. I see a Double from Wendy’s in my future. Hope to see you at Max’s tonight!

So, I found a hotel outside of “Bumland” for the conference in Savannah, thanks to the Internet. I got on Google Maps and made a note of every hotel within a 10-block radius of the conference. I looked up each hotel’s rates, and the Springhill Suites started to look like a good value. I then got on Google StreetView and took a virtual walk all around the Springhill Suites. I “walked” to the conference center; I “walked” to the venues where the after-hours parties will be. “This neighborhood looks totally safe,” I thought, and having lived in Memphis for 20+ years I’m pretty sure I’m a good judge of what’s a safe neighborhood and what’s not. I booked the room.

Then I got on Facebook and Flickr and found photos of last year’s conference. I was pleased to see that there was not even one pic of anyone wearing a tie. Makes me think the attire I plan on wearing to the conference (T-shirt, shorts, sandals) will be entirely appropriate. Actually, I didn’t see many people in shorts, but there may have been a cold snap in Savannah that weekend last year.  I also saw only a few people with laptops, so maybe I won’t bother carrying the MacBook or netbook with me.

Makes me wonder how we lived without the Internet. I’d totally be planning for this conference in the dark without it. Of course, it’s a conference about the Internet so I guess it wouldn’t be happening otherwise.

All right… I’ll try to do a “news update” post at lunch but I can’t promise it… I have to go buy something called “bronzer” which is makeup that will turn my skin a ghastly shade of orange so I’ll look like Bruce Pearl for Halloween. Time to get on Facebook and catch up (I seem to have a lot of new friend requests this morning for some reason) then head to work.