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According to the clock on my DVR, it’s 3:13 AM as I type this. I can see the corner of Second and Monroe from my living room window, and the intersection is jam-packed with cruisers. And they’ve all decided to honk their horns at each other. Now and then I can hear a stereo operating at full blast. Keep in mind that my apartment is half a block away from the intersection, and 13 stories up. And I can STILL hear this racket.

I’m awake anyway so it doesn’t bother me, but I feel sorry for the poor people at the Holiday Inn Select and the Peabody who paid $150-300 a night or more to try and sleep through this.

Last summer, Beale Street security had the street blocked off on the weekends from 9 until close. Security personnel at the entrances checked every person’s ID and wanded them with a metal detector to make sure they weren’t carrying weapons. It was a little bit of a hassle and it made the lines to get on the street longer, but it was well worth it to feel safe.

Last Saturday night after BBQ Fest, two friends and I had drinks at EP’s, then walked on to Beale about 12:45 to head to the Tap Room. There was security at the entrance, but he waved us right in without carding us, and there was no metal detector.

Now, it doesn’t bother me that much that we were waved in – all three of us are obviously old enough, and we’ve been seen on Beale for years and the guards know our faces. But this guy also waved in the ten people in front of and behind us, only stopping to check the IDs of people who clearly didn’t look anywhere near 21. I thought the rule was, if they look under 30 you’re supposed to check IDs?

Also, the lack of metal detectors bothered me. When I came out of the Tap Room about 2 in the morning, I looked around at the crowd and I can just about GUARANTEE you a few of those people were carrying weapons. Last year, they never would have gotten on the street.

Maybe security was just overwhelmed by the BBQ Fest crowd and didn’t have the manpower to do everything they needed to last weekend. I’ll try to go back to Beale this weekend or next and see if the situation has improved. But if what I saw last Saturday was any indication, security needs to get it together, or there are going to be problems on the street this summer.

Tomorrow promises to be a wild day. With everyone off for Memorial Day, the Sunday brunch/drinking crew will be out in force and going all day long.

Tomorrow will also be a day when we will especially feel the loss of our old hangout Sleep Out Louie’s. Last year’s Sunday-before-Memorial-Day was a 12-hour day at the bar for a lot of the regulars. There were whipped cream fights, and that was the day that the duck fart (coffee liqueur, Bailey’s, whiskey) became the official drink of Sleep Out’s. Somehow, after 3 bottles of champagne and 6 duck farts, I managed to take the #1 spot in the nation at a game of NTN network trivia. Proof that drinking does make you smarter. Here’s a link to last year’s photo album.

Since Sleep Out’s is no more, we’ll likely continue with our Sunday routine of starting at the Majestic for bloody marys and mimosas, then moving to the Saucer in the early afternoon, and after that, who knows – except will be doing it a little more intensely, and for a while longer, than regular Sundays.

I do want to remind everyone to be careful tomorrow night. The criminal element in Memphis knows that people go out and drink and don’t always use their best judgment on nights like this one. Don’t take shortcuts through alleys, don’t leave valuables in your car, and stay where it’s well lit, and you should be fine.

All right – let’s get this party started!

Hundreds of zombies descended upon the South Main Trolley Art Tour last night, and I got pictures. Here’s a link to the Commercial Appeal article about the zombies.

Everyone knows zombies eat brains… but did you know they drink TAB?

The zombies have found a victim, who indicated he/she wanted to be zombified by wearing duct tape.

Regular blog readers Groobie Baby, Mendi, and Tom. Mendi has a tube top on.

Click here for the full photo album – 43 pictures. Some are a little blurry because I was trying to run around and get pics of the best zombies.

Last night’s Trolley Tour was the best one I have seen in my five years downtown. We had the most diverse array of businesses ever open their doors – art galleries, clothing shops, gyms, a recording academy, hair salons, a political campaign office, and more. Many of the galleries had live music inside or outside, and Earnestine & Hazel’s also had live music. The Arcade, Harry’s Detour, Zanzibar, Spindini, the Green Beetle and Pearl’s Oyster House were among the restaurants serving dinner during the tour.

Next trolley tour is Friday, June 29. They seem to get better and better every month. Don’t miss it!

I got an e-mail this morning from MacMall.com containing the following promotion:

(Click the banner above to see all the MacBooks on sale)

Wow, the price of MacBooks is finally dropping to the point where they’re competitive with PC laptops. Even better, it appears that Macs are now capable of running Windows Vista or Windows XP at full speed, thanks to new technologies called Parallels Desktop and Boot Camp Pro (after reading about both, Parallels Desktop sounds like the way to go). Therefore, it’d be like having two computers in one, since I could use MacOS X and Windows Vista on the same machine. And you can get both operating systems pre-installed, so there’s no hassle.

Hmmm… my current laptop is only a year old but I’m REALLY starting to want a MacBook. And since I do affiliate marketing websites like Memphis Discount Dining and Tube Top Boutique, there’s no question that I could write the MacBook off on my taxes… when I factor that in, it’s almost irresistible.

Anyone out there have experience running Windows Vista or XP through Parallel Desktop?

The undead e-mailed me this morning and asked me to remind everyone about the zombie march tonight. They will gather at the Old Daisy at 6:15 and then at 6:45, they will march down Beale and then turn left on Main and march down to the South Main Trolley Art Tour. If you want to participate there are two ways to do so:

1) Show up pre-zombified at the Daisy before 6:45; or

2) Stand somewhere on the march route, with a piece of duct tape prominently displayed. They will “zombify” you (tear your clothes and apply makeup, so don’t wear clothes you plan on wearing again) and then you can join them and march.

Keep in mind that one of their rules is NO DRINKING WHILE MARCHING so if you want to drink, you may want to skip the duct tape and just be an observer (that’s what I plan on doing). There will be drinking, however, at their post-march gathering at Earnestine & Hazel’s.

More info here: http://www.myspace.com/memphiszombies

My friend Joan Robinson e-mailed me to let me know about a new event for Downtowners. The last Monday of every month, beginning this Monday, May 28, the lobby bar at the elegant new Westin Hotel will have a special night just for us. There will be happy hour cocktail prices for Downtowners, and there will be complimentary hors d’ouevres as well.

I talked to Joan about this last weekend at BBQ Fest, and they really want this to be an opportunity for people who live Downtown to be able to come out and get to know their neighbors. Great idea – this is the friendliest part of the city, after all. Some come on down Monday night for drinks and fun. Most likely I will be there for this one, so say hello if you see me.

See this CBS Sportsline article about Tuesday’s lottery party and subsequent trivia match at the Flying Saucer. At least Pete the Trivia Guy got 15 minutes of fame out of it.

The Center City Commission has two open positions on their Design Review Board, which makes decisions on Downtown building facades site plans for public and private projects Downtown that receive CCC funds. Current openings are for

• One graphic designer
• One person who lives and works Downtown.

If interested, you can contact them through their website, downtownmemphis.com. Meetings are at 5 PM the first Wednesday of every month, so you’d need to be available at those times. They’re accepting applications through May 31.

Not only is this a chance for you to play a part in Downtown’s redevelopment, but serving on a nonprofit board looks GREAT as an extracurricular activity on a resume. If interested and you fit into one of the categories above, by all means apply!

Wednesday and Thursday nights at BBQ Fest I hit the point of exhaustion… there just came a time each evening when I knew I was DONE. And Thursday night it came relatively early in the evening, about 9:30. I hated to leave when my booth would be open for another 2 1/2 hours, but I just knew… it was time to go.

Friday I recovered, but Saturday I started to get that feeling again… but even earlier, at about 4:30 in the afternoon. I didn’t want to miss an entire half day – the last day – of BBQ Fest! So I stopped drinking the keg beer that was being served in our booth, and walked outside. I saw a lemonade stand, and bought a large one for $6 and chugged it. It was wonderful! I bought a second, then a third. Yeah $18 for lemonade is a bit ridiculous, I thought, but if the festival wasn’t going on I’d be at the Saucer spending that much on beer.

By 6:30 I had finished my third lemonade, and about an hour after that I felt marvelous! I was full of life and full of energy and happy to be alive. I stopped yawning and started dancing around the tent. When friends came to visit I was a chatterbox on the upstairs deck, and I stayed out with them at EP’s and the Tap Room until 2:30 in the morning. Those lemonades made a world of difference – I surmised that it was not only that the lemonade didn’t contain alcohol, but that all the sugar gave me the boost I needed.

The next day, BBQ Fest was over, and I showed up at the Saucer mid-afternoon for my usual Sunday drinking extravaganza. By about 6:00 I could feel myself going downhill, so I decided to see if the trick I learned Saturday could work again. Now, the Saucer doesn’t sell lemonade, but they do sell a sugary, non-alcoholic beverage – Abita Root Beer. I figured two glasses of that would bring me back to life. So I ordered a root beer, drank it, and ordered my free refill. I noticed that Abita Root Beer tastes ever so slightly like Jagermeister.

As I was drinking my second glass, I was joined by former Sleep Out’s bartender Frenchie. “Want to do a Jager Bomb?” he asked. A Jager Bomb is a shot glass of Jagermeister dropped into half a glass of (EDIT: Yikes! Otto just pointed out that a Jager Bomb is Jager + Red Bull, not Jager + beer) and then chugged. It tastes every bit as nasty as it sounds and it’s most definitely a one-way ticket to Stupidville. Since I still possessed a little common sense at that point I turned down Frenchie’s offer.

But then I shared my observation that Abita Root Beer tastes slightly like Jager, and we both thought the same thing… Root Beer Jager Bomb. I’d say it was the birth of a new drink, but I guess it really hasn’t been “born” yet since neither of us dared to try one. I have a feeling that a Root Beer Jager Bomb could potentially do as much damage than the regular one, with the combined effect of the sugar and the Jager on one’s brain.

Like I said, I haven’t actually tried one yet, but we do have a three-day weekend coming up.

Coming tomorrow: A chance for you to have a say in Downtown building projects, and a new happy hour where Downtowners can meet their neighbors. I actually already have them typed up, but since I’ve posted 3 times this evening you already have plenty to read… they’ll be up at the lunch hour most likely.