Last week there was a Facebook thread started by a business owner in the Madison/Main area. He complained about a nearby bar blasting its outdoor speakers, in a residential/retail area, louder than what is normally done by bars in the Beale entertainment district. He said they were playing lyrics like “YOU A FINE MOTHERFUCKER, WHY DON’T YOU COME OVER HERE AND BACK THAT ASS UP” at 8:30 PM, a time of day at which families were still on the street.
He suggested that, given the post-COVID drop in the number of people frequenting Downtown retail, behavior like this that drives even more people away should not be tolerated.
Now, I’m not here to deem the Main Street bar’s (I’ll abbreviate it MSB from here on out) behavior “right” or “wrong.” Rather, I want to get into the psychology of why MSB does what it does.
Let’s take a trip back in time…
The year was 2006. To my absolute shock, this blog was nominated for, and won, “Best Local Blog” in the annual Memphis Flyer poll. The term “influencer” didn’t exist yet, but I was seen as one. That led to some interesting offers coming my way.
Through a friend attending grad school in L.A. I was introduced to David DeAngelo, a coach for “PUAs” (pick-up artists). Basically, he taught guys what to say to women they met in nightclubs and bars. David offered to send me, free of charge, a recording of one of his seminars to review on this blog. I accepted.
The main point of everything David D taught was that bars and clubs are all one big status game. Demonstrate high status, high value, and you should do well with the ladies you meet.
The rest of David D’s course focused on ways to demonstrate high status, and I want to focus on one in particular:
Take up more space, more physical space, than the average person in the room.
Drape your arms across the back of the couch. Spread your feet apart. Use your body to send the nonverbal message that you’re as comfortable there as you would be in your own living room.
But, here’s my observation: “Take up a lot of space” can be applied to senses beyond visual/physical.
For example, take the guy who walks into the bar reeking of too much body spray (or marijuana). He’s fully aware that he stinks to the point of possibly offending people. But he doesn’t care. He’s taking up more than his fair share of the room in the olfactory sense. He’s projecting high status (or so he believes).
Consider a group of people across the room talking all at once and extremely loudly, so loudly that you can’t hear the conversation you’re having with your friend sitting 2 feet away. Those people are adults; they know what an “inside voice” is. They just choose not to use theirs. They take up a lot of space sound-wise. They’re projecting high status.
Of course, not everybody who goes out to bars cares about communicating high status. Many people go out to relax, meet their neighbors, and be comfortable being their true selves.
But there are enough status seekers to make it lucrative for bars in Memphis to appeal to that crowd. Especially Downtown. How many times have you seen bar customers FaceTime their friends to say, “look at us, we’re at a swanky bar Downtown”? They’re conveying status upon themselves.
Local bars – some of them, at least – want to attract that status-seeking crowd. It’s profitable to do so. That crowd spends a lot of disposable income (and likes to be seen doing so).
So the bars play the status game too.
They blast their music way louder than is appropriate in a residential neighborhood, taking up a lot of space in the noise-o-sphere.
They know, but don’t care, that the lyrics they play offend some of their neighbors and neighborhood visitors. They’re taking up a lot of space in the offensive-o-sphere.
They may as well hang a neon sign in the window that reads “Status Conveyed Here.”
That’s my take on what’s going on with MSB.
Back tomorrow with a long news post.
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