Former BFF invents new drink

Tonight I started at the Saucer, then moved to Big Foot where my former BFF was bartending. She claimed to have invented a new drink called the “Flying Moose.” I couldn’t tell exactly what was in it, but it tasted like it contained sweet & sour and melon liqueur (and undoubtedly some other high-alcohol ingredients). It’s one of the candidates to go on the 34 oz. $9.99 drink menu. I hate to say it, considering it’s the invention of my former BFF, but it was GOOD. Worth ordering next time you go in. Attn Shawn and Lana: Give that drink a place on the regular menu. Then find a reason to fire my former BFF so you can take all the credit. And so I don’t have to put up with her next time I come in.

While there and drunk I talked to Luke, the co-owner of the Red Rooster. The Rooster is doing some kind of bachelor auction for charity in July and I agreed to be a part of it. File this under the “things I would not have done sober” category. More details to come.

Thanks to Air Traffic Mike for the gumbo. Eating it now.

(Edit: Forgot to hit Publish before going to bed, so you’re getting this Tuesday morning.)

NBA Draft Lottery watch party Tue 5/20 at both Flying Saucers

The Downtown Flying Saucer will host an NBA Draft Lottery watch party tomorrow night, Tuesday, May 20, beginning at 6 PM.  ESPN Radio 730 AM will broadcast, and members of the dance team will be there, and there will be prizes and giveaways.  Hopefully the Grizzlies will do better than expected in this year’s lottery (to make up for last year’s worse than expected luck) and get #1 or #2 and select either Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley.  More details available here.

Trivia team:  We need to get there as early as possible and get our usual spot, or as close to it as we can get.

For those of you who live in East Bumblefuck, you can get in your gas-guzzling SUVs and drive to the other Flying Saucer, located in one of the many cookie-cutter lookalike strip malls on Germantown Parkway.  There will be a watch party there too, hosted by Soul Classics 103.5 FM.

Cheap beer @ Big Foot Lodge next Sun.

Walking home from Saucer/Hoop’s Bar tonight (I decided not to go to the Rooster), I walked past Big Foot and heard “Paul’s a bitch!” coming from the alley.  I turned around and looked down the alley and there was my former BFF along with several other Big Foot employees.  “No, I’m just kidding,” she laughed nervously.

Translation:  I want so desperately to connect with you, but seventh-grade taunting is the only way I know how.

I snapped the picture shown above, then turned my back on my former BFF and walked home.

Looking forward to Memorial Day Eve.  Having just had a long BBQ Fest weekend, it almost doesn’t seem right that I have another long weekend coming up.  But, you know what, I’ll take it.

BBQ video coming soon.

BBQ Fest Day 3: Saturday

I arrived at the booth about 2 PM, and was immediately kicked out. “What’s going on?” I thought. The BBQ judges usually come by the shoulder booths between 11 and noon. Judging should have been over well before I got there.

“We’re top 3,” several team members told me. “The judges are coming back for the final table.” Never have I been so happy to be kicked out of my own booth. Here’s a pic of the judges and our cooks and team leaders in the booth for the final judging:

Our cooks’ hard work paid off… later in the day we were awarded Third Place (out of 70-80 teams) in the World Championship Pork Shoulder Category.  Here’s a pic of the team onstage accepting the third-place trophy:

Here’s a pic of me (the sole pic of me in the 300+ taken with my camera on Saturday) posing with the trophy:

Here’s a pic of our team shirt (front view):

And here’s the back of our shirt:

After the awards ceremony we celebrated not only the 3rd place finish, but our friend Lauren’s 23rd birthday.  Here’s a pic of her boyfriend Lee bringing out the cake:

And here’s a pic of the birthday girl:

Hey, we got Lauren porn for her birthday!  Oh, no, wait, that’s a giant birthday card.

And finally, let’s have a pic of what a $60,000 BBQ booth looks like:

That’s the upper deck of the Valero Oil booth which was next door to ours.  Saturday night and it was EMPTY.  Just goes to show, you can throw as much money as you want at BBQ Fest, but it’s the PEOPLE that make it.  Our booth, by contrast, cost about $12,000 and change, a shoestring budget considering the number of team members (~42) and the number of guests we invited (we went through 1,000 guest wristbands in four days).  Next year we will have a considerably more expensive booth, but we will have sponsors who see how much fun we have and want to have it with us, not ones who expect to take over the booth and make it a corporate BBQ team.

I’ll finish this post with a pic of the “without you, it wouldn’t have happened” people – head cook Willie (on the left) and team captain Chuck (right), with Chuck’s mom in the middle:

BBQ Fest wrap-up to come.  Got lots of thoughts and rants still to post before the subject of BBQ is done for the year.

Here’s a link to Saturday’s BBQ Fest album, so large (314 pictures) that it had to be split off as a separate album from the Sun, Wed, Thur, Fri pictures.  5-minute walkthrough video of the booth to come.

I’m giving myself permission to sleep through brunch in the morning, but if I get up in time it’s Majestic week 2.  It’s booth tear-down day but I’m invoking the “no physical labor” clause.  Right now it’s 12:30 in the morning and I’m thinking to myself, hmmm the Rooster is open.  I haven’t been out other than BBQ Fest all weekend.  Time to go have some fun.

Tube Top Month is only 2 weeks away

Tube Top Month begins June 1, only two weeks and a day away!  Ladies, if you’re coming to BBQ Fest today, why not wear a tube top and I’ll take your picture for a blog post sometime during the month of June.  Weather is perfect for tube top wearing (high 80, low 62, very little chance of rain).  I’ll be at the team booth from 2 PM until 11 PM, except for a brief trip to the awards ceremonies around 5,6ish.  Last year I skipped the awards, but this year the chances are very good for my team The Ques Brothers to finish in the top 10 and win a trophy.  This time around I gotta be there.

So come on down and show off those tube tops!  I got a full 8 hours sleep last night and am ready to party one more time at BBQ Fest!

BBQ Fest Day 2: Friday

I added another 107 photos to the BBQ Fest album yesterday.  Here are some of the best:

Here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating.

The booth was a shambles after Thursday’s wind and storms.

Terry and Otto’s dad hard at work repairing the booth.

Sam and Melissa, two of my favorite people from Itta Bena.

Melissa tries on Mikey’s disco helmet.

Our booth was one of five to host a poker run.  Here team leader Steve (at left, red cap) is seen helping one of the poker run participants funnel a beer.

Pig cigarette lighter with Turkish fez

Air Traffic Mike expresses his amusement that I caught the Nuh-Uh Girl eating yet again.

At one point Friday Terry thought to himself, “You know, the problem with the image I project is that I’m not flamboyant enough.  Perhaps I should go buy myself a furry white hat.”

BFF of the Month candidate Lizzie and her cousin George

Head cook Willie pulls apart a pork shoulder similar to the one that will be entered in the World Championship contest.

Another 100 or so pictures from Friday are available here.  This is the entire BBQ Fest weekend album, so scroll to the bottom to see Friday’s (the most recent) images.

Too sleepy to recap BBQ Fest Friday other than pictures.  Maybe in the morning.  The judging will be done tomorrow AM, so I’ll stay out of the booth until 1 or 2 in the afternoon.

A few suggestions for post-BBQ Fest music for out-of-towners. Plus: In the news

For those of you in Memphis for BBQ Fest, and who don’t know what to get into after the festival closes for the night, here are some suggestions.  These will show you the REAL Memphis:

  • The Dempseys at Blues City Cafe.  Most high-energy rockabilly band you’ll ever see.  By far my choice for Memphis’ best band. 10 PM – 2 AM.
  • Dr. “Feel Good” Potts at Mr. Handy’s Blues Hall on Beale, 8:30 PM – 12:30 AM.  Real Memphis blues.
  • Bill “Howl-N-Madd” Perry Blues Band at Ground Zero.  More authentic blues.
  • If you feel like clubbing, check out the best club in the world, Hollywood Disco (but everyone calls the place “Raiford’s”).  Vance at Mulberry, just east of Main.  Dance to tunes spun by Raiford, the best DJ in the world.  You will never experience anything else like this.  10 PM – 4 AM.
  • The best jukebox Downtown is at Earnestine & Hazel’s at Main and GE Patterson.  You can also get a really good burger, the “Soul Burger,” there, and you can wander upstairs and see what the place was like when it used to be a brothel.  Check out Nate’s Bar while you’re upstairs too.

In the news:  44 remaining condos at the River Tower (formerly the Rivermark Apts.) at 655 Riverside will go on auction June 21. At least 10 will be sold to the highest bidder, regardless of price.  This could be a good chance to take advantage of the saturated Downtown condo market and get a unit at a steal.  They’ll surely go for below market and the owners will get immediate equity.

Also in the news:  Only 2 teams competed in the BBQ Fest Ms. Piggie contest this year. The third-place $500 prize went unclaimed.  Blast!  Someone from our team could’ve gone up there in a pig nose and sang whatever and taken $500 for the team just for showing up.  I hate missing out on free money.

Also in the news:  It looks like the City Council will reject King Willie’s plan to close several branch libraries, but they aren’t interested in saving the deteriorating Cossitt branch Downtown at Front and Monroe.

Also in the news:  Benihana in East Memphis has filed for permits to rebuild.  The old Benihana burned down in February, and there was speculation that it wouldn’t be back.

Also in the news:  Eyewitness News reports that convenience stores are robbery hotspots in Memphis. I want to thank Eyewitness News for examining crime reports indepth and uncovering this important fact.  I don’t think any of us were aware that robberies occurred frequently at convenience stores.  Glad Eyewitness News did the dirty work.  I hear they’re planning a followup report saying that convenience stores are also among the places in town most likely to carry Slurpees, Icees, and similar frozen drinks.

And that’s the news.  Time to get my drink on at BBQ Fest.

BBQ Fest Day 1: Thursday

Made it home from BBQ Fest Thursday, the first day open to the public.  Here’s a look at some of the highlights:

This is a turducken, a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey.

While at BBQ Fest I had several people express interest in being my new BFF (BFF of the Month to be announced June 2).  Let’s have a look at the candidates:

Lizzie

Suzy

Stephanie

Three very good candidates.  I’ll point out that of the three, Stephanie was the only one who had a tube top on, and she earned extra points by pointing out that she was wearing it incorrectly (covered by a sweater), but had to for comfort’s sake (it was 60, windy and spitting rain).  Suzy also pointed out that she can rock a tube top, but she didn’t have one on.

I had a regular blog reader say to me, “You kicked your [now former] BFF to the curb, but then you brought her back!”  I told her no, I did not reinstate my former BFF to BFF status.  “You totally did!  You gave her a wristband to your BBQ booth!” said my blog’s reader.  Giving her guest access to my team’s booth absolutely does NOT mean she’s my BFF again.  It just means I don’t totally hate the girl.

Speaking of my former BFF, here’s a pic of Bicycle Bobby asking his neighbors Shawn and Lana from Big Foot “WTF were you thinking when you hired her to bartend?”

Some more party pics:

Otto getting down

The Nuh-Uh Dad and the Nuh-Uh Sister getting down.  Amazingly, I did not get a single pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating.  I think she was hiding.  The Nuh-Uh Sister’s friend Amber:  “When I met the Nuh-Uh Sister, I was bathed… baptized… in the greatness.”  Um yeah whatever.

Our VP of Development and VP of Marketing from work.  I learned that our latest marketing strategy is to hire Erik Estrada as a celebrity spokesperson.  I also learned that our CEO wanted to order lunch from the Majestic Grille and searched for the restaurant’s menu on Google.  What site came up #1 in the search?  Hint:  Not the Majestic Grille’s site.

And then we have this:

Not even going to attempt an explanation.

Yoko holding a Nestle Crunch bar big enough to feed the entire team.

The day started out slow, as members of the team constructed a wooden floor for the booth.  I invoked my “no physical labor” clause and sat and watched and ate BBQ.  About the time the floor got finished, it started to rain… chilly rain, wind, and 60 degrees was no fun.  About 7 PM the bad weather moved out and the place got slammed.  I got torn in several different directions at once, with people calling my phone trying to figure out where the hell our tent was, potential sponsors to introduce to the team captain, and having to work the door to try and figure out who was an invited guest and who was trying to crash the party.  By 10 PM the place was rocking and we were all partying and dancing.  Whoever picked the late-evening music last night did a great job.

Around 11:30 – right before the park closed – I realized I had hit my exhaustion point.  No ’80s night at Raiford’s for me last night.  Still, though, I feel I have nothing to be ashamed of, considering I had started drinking at the other 11:30.

So this morning I stepped on the scales to see how much weight I had gained since BBQ Fest began two days ago (counting friends & family night).  Total weight gain so far:  Minus 2 pounds.  Looks like the fact that I was on my feet all day negated all the food that I ate.

Here’s an updated 2008 BBQ Fest photo album.  Now at 292 pictures total – the ones from last night are at the end.  Both the camera battery and spare are fully charged, so I’m ready to take more pics today.  Also need to get the phone fully charged, so I can answer “where the hell is your booth” questions all day.

Found out that the Cooker’s Caravan will run Saturday from 10:30 to 2:30… previously I thought it would only be running Thursday and Friday days, not good for people who have to work.  The Cooker’s Caravan is a guided tour of selected BBQ booths and you can sign up across the sidewalk from booth R-80.  We had some Caravan tour guests in our booth yesterday.  Our cook Willie taught them how to cook pork shoulder, and they enjoyed our rooftop deck for a while.

Don’t forget to visit our team sponsor, Circa by John Bragg.  You can make dinner reservations right there on the site, no need to call in.  If you’re a fan of Scotch, John has what I believe is the largest collection of different Scotch varieties of any Memphis restaurant, and he can tell you all about them.

Latest forecast I’ve seen… high 72, low 50.  I’m sick of cold weather!  Normal for today would be high 80, low 61.  At least there’s only a 10% chance of rain today and tomorrow.

For those of you who haven’t seen my former BFF T-shirt, I’m thinking about wearing it today.  For one thing, it’ll go well with my red sunglasses.  Also, it will serve as a reminder to me that I will not settle for inferior quality BFFs anymore.  Attn my former BFF:  I’ve upped my standards.  So up yours!

I’m running out of guest wristbands, so I’m going to have to be extremely stingy handing them out today, if you don’t already have one.  Sorry… I’m not sure I can get more at this point.  I thought I was down to 9, but then I did laundry and found 2 more in the washing machine.  Amazingly, they held together and the ink with the team name and number didn’t fade.

Guests:  The party may die down a little bit earlier tonight than it did last night, because our cook Willie has to prepare the shoulder that will hopefully lead us to a World championship on Saturday.  If they ask everyone to start heading out please respect the fact that they have serious work to do.  Luckily I have access to a booth across the sidewalk where there will be a party going on, and 3 extra wristbands to get people in.

Will probably start the day at the Saucer around 11 as I did yesterday, then head to Tom Lee Park around noon.  See you down there.

More BBQ Fest notes

This year, our team booth was built to include a window bar.  Here’s a pic of team members Gary and Boo enjoying the window seating:

I’ve been told that the window bar was designed with me in mind.  The window seats at the Flying Saucer tend to be my home away from home, so the team wanted me to have a home away from my home away from home at BBQ Fest.  Thanks for thinking of me guys!

One of them pointed out, “At the Saucer there’s a Window Game, where we count the number of sightings in various categories – bums, police cars, cars going the wrong way up one-way Second, and so on.  If there’s window seating in the team booth, there ought to be a Ques Brothers Window Game.”  Good point.  Only problem is, more than half the categories on the Saucer Window Game are vehicle-related.  That won’t work in a festival in a public park.  So this morning I designed the 2008 Ques Brothers Window Game:

The categories are Ice (the wagons that drive around and sell ice to teams), cops, kegs, fork lifts, Memphis in May volunteers, tube top sightings, moochers (people who don’t know anyone on the team but try to scam their way in to get free BBQ and beer), RUP (Really Ugly People, the lone holdover from the Saucer Window Game), and RDP (Really Drunk People).

We had a huge problem with moochers last year – people who would just stroll in and help themselves to beer and liquor.  That shot our liquor costs to the sky.  As a result, this year we’ve not only tightened security out front (the Door Gestapo) but we also built a bar.  Here’s a pic of bartender Mikey serving drinks:

This year no one (not even team members) will be allowed to pour their own drinks.  The people behind the bar will handle all the dispensing of beer, wine and liquor.  That will allow us to maintain control of who has access to our supply.  Plus, the bar looks really cool.

I haven’t signed up for any bartending or door security shifts.  That’s not my best role on the team… I hate responsibility, and besides I don’t want to have to maintain the degree of sobriety necessary to do those jobs.  My planned contributions for today are

  • Team photographer, since Kurt who took 2700 pictures last year isn’t here, and since Mikey the Camera Nazi is busy with other duties.
  • Connector.  “Hmmm… that person should meet this person, they might be able to do business together.  Those two people would make good friends, need to make sure they meet each other.  She’s new to Memphis, gotta introduce her around and make sure she has a good time.  That person said her company might be interested in a sponsorship next year, gotta get her some quality time with Chuck.”
  • Advisory role to the Door Gestapo.  I’ll be in the window most of the day anyway, right next to security.  “She’s so-and-so’s roommate, I promised her a guest wristband but I couldn’t find her, she’s good to go…  That guy?  He walked out on a tab at the Saucer and the waitress had to pay it and it made her cry.  Not the caliber of person we want in this booth…  Her?  Don’t know her but she’s hot and she has a tube top on.  I vote let her in.  Make sure she’s 21 though.”

One more picture.  This is the booth next to ours:

This is the Valero booth.  Not only do big oil companies pay for Republican Congressmen, they also pay for really expensive festival booths.  Next time you fill up at the pump and pay record high prices, think about this booth.  We were told it cost Valero 60 grand to build, about 4 times the cost of this year’s Ques Brothers booth.  This booth is to BBQ Fest booths as the Ford Excursion is to vehicles.

All right.  Time to crank it up again.  My plans for the day:

  • 11:00-11:45 AM:  Flying Saucer, because I have a $5 gift certificate to cash in
  • 11:45 AM-midnight:  BBQ Fest
  • midnight-on:  Hollywood Disco/Raiford’s for ’80s and 40s

This is the second BBQ post in the past 10 hours, so be sure to check out my previous post for the initial round of BBQ Fest recapping.  Also don’t miss the Ques Brothers 2008 photo album, with more pics added daily, and be sure to think of our sponsor Circa by John Bragg next time you want a great meal in Downtown Memphis.