Paul Ryburn's Journal

Everyone please take a minute to follow this link and vote for Pouncer, the U of M Tigers’ mascot.  Voting is being conducted to determine the best mascot in the NCAA tournament.  Go Pouncer!  Go Tigers!

(Edit:  Just noticed that Arkansas’ Big Red is also in the tournament… if you to vote for Big Red instead of Pouncer, I wouldn’t have a problem with it.  Also noticed that TENNESSEE HAS ALREADY BEEN ELIMINATED… as the big dance goes, so goes the mascot voting for the Vols.  Heh.  Looking forward to drinking that beer on your tab, Hank.)

Probably won’t be 5 posts in a 24-hour period as happened yesterday… work is about to pick up… soon as I get with a third-party data provider, I’ll be programming like a madman for the rest of the workday.  Then I’ll be partying like a madman at the Saucer, Trolley Tour, and a private party in South Main.  hmmm raifords is on the way home  If any big news comes up today I’ll throw up a quick post.

Congrats to the Louisville Cardinals, who took Tennessee out of the NCAA tournament tonight.  Great job!

My original Plan A was to meet a friend for mojitos on Sauces’ patio, but she had to work late.  So I switched to Plan B, which is my usual Plan A… drinking beers at the Saucer.  It turned out to be a really good plan, as I got there at 5:30 and am just now getting home (1:30).  Never made it to the Rooster or any of the other options.

Atlas was hopping tonight.  It was their first Ladies’ Night of the season, sponsored by 93X.  I watched from the window of the Saucer and all kinds of hot babes went in there.  I never even considered going though, even though my BFF and her mini-me went.  It was the Peabody rooftop crowd.  Girls who have turned 21 in the past year and think that a nice ass in a pair of white pants and a white thong (or similar outfits) make them VIPs, and stupid-ass horny guys of all ages who are willing to buy into that (and there are a LOT of guys who are).  This is why the rooftop parties, while highly anticipated, quickly turn boring after only a few weeks.  No kidding, I actually typed that.  When I go to Peabody rooftop parties, I tend to look for the girls who are least made-up because they’re the most real.  Also the girls in tube tops, because tube tops are hot.

Attn Hank:  You owe me a beer.  Dos Equis Special Lager please.

The Fabulous Steeler Band played the Saucer tonight.  Pete (whose ass I routinely kick at pool) told me they were good, and they were.  Tonight they had Louisiana mojo queen Ms. Zeno fronting the band.  Definitely worth checking out on their next visit to the Saucer.

Speaking of pool… Calhoun’s bartender Lauren and I totally kicked ass at pool tonight as partners on the Saucer’s table.  I take notes for my blog and Lauren grabbed the pen and noted that we are BPE = Best Partners Ever.  And not fake BPE either.  If American Apparel ever offers 20% off for BPE, Lauren and I are totally getting matching outfits.  One of our opponents was Sam who hangs out at Calhoun’s all the time.  He got his ass kicked.  Remember back in November when he tried to start a competing trivia team called “Suck My Blog”?  He got his ass kicked then too.

Beer report:

Previous total:  $863.00

Beers 152, 153, and 154 (but 147, 148 and 149 according to the Saucer):
Sam Adams Winter Lager Fire Sale $2.75
Cream of Wheat (mixer: Guinness + Avery White Rascal) $5.00
Rogue Hazelnut Brown bottle $11.00
Tip:  $18.75 x ~30% = $6.00
Total:  $24.75

Grand total:  $887.75

Disappointed that I didn’t get to rock out with my cock out tonight.  Time for bed.

Saw an NBA rumor on Yahoo today that the Grizzlies are pursuing former New York Knicks coach Larry Brown to replace current head coach Marc Iavaroni. The article says that Iavaroni has been criticized for not communicating effectively with players. The article also says Brown has been out of coaching since “his disastrous 23-win season with the Knicks in 2005-06.” Yep, that sounds like the kind of person the Grizzlies would hire. I pity the poor people in their back office who are trying to get season ticket holders to renew.

Attn Grizzlies: If you want to go all the way and get someone who is truly the embodiment of incompetence, I know of such a person who will be job hunting on January 21, 2009. And he does have a track record in sports, as the former co-owner of the Texas Rangers. Can you hold off that long before making any more personnel moves?

Still on the subject of basketball: Ashley Furniture sold furniture earlier in the season with the promise that customers’ money would be refunded, effectively giving them the furniture for free, if the Memphis Tigers win the NCAA tournament this year. With the Tigers only four games away from doing just that, the Tennessee Attorney General has issued an opinion that what the furniture store is doing amounts to illegal gambling. It’s non-binding and the store’s owner still plans to go ahead with the refunds if the Tigers win, but the opinion could lead to criminal charges being filed if that happens. I’m not a lawyer but I assume the charge would be operating an illegal gambling house or something similar.

Downtowners can learn how to do the Hustle during the month of April. No, not the type of hustle where panhandlers create sob stories to scam money from tourists. The Hustle, the circa-1975 disco dance craze. YMCA is offering classes Tuesdays and Thursdays during the month of April, 8-9 PM, for a charge of $50. Blast!!! Why did they have to do it on Tuesdays? That’s trivia night. I’d seriously go to the classes if it would not mean abandoning my team for five weeks. People who’ve seen me at Raiford’s know that I’m not afraid to get down to a little disco. There will probably be some cute girls in the class too.

(Damn, I forgot to hit Publish again!  This should’ve gone up 5 yesterday. Drunk post to come.)

About 3 I posted that the new Ground Zero club will open tonight.  I’ve since learned from my contact at the CCC, who does the Livin’ It Up newsletter which is where I got the info, that the event is not yet confirmed… sorry about that.  Might want to make other plans.  The Red Rooster is right next door and Thursdays are always good there if you’re looking for something nearby.

Yesterday I made reservations to meet a group of friends in New Orleans in early fall for a weekend of fun.  Really looking forward to that… would you believe I’ve never been to New Orleans?  Most of the group is staying in a big house together, but I’m coming down there a day late so I arranged my own hotel room.  Found a great deal too… hotel at the west end of the Faubourg Marginy neighborhood, right next to the French Quarter, for $69 a night.  Looks like it’ll be real easy to hop a trolley and get to the house where my friends are. 

Had to do some looking to find this hotel… most of the accommodations in that area are small B&Bs, many of which have shared bathrooms.  Wasn’t crazy about that… I expect to find shared bathrooms in hotels in Romania (yes, I have researched it), not a major U.S. city.  Glad I found one that listed “private baths” among the amenities.  They have wi-fi too, so I’ll be able to blog from the hotel, although the majority of the weekend’s activities won’t be bloggable.

There’s an article in today’s Commercial Appeal about the new electric scooters the cops are using to patrol Downtown Memphis.  They look like Segways with an extra wheel for stability.  Good interview with our friend Col. Johnnie Currin about them.  Here’s a link to T3 Motion, the California-based company that makes the scooters.

Also in today’s CA, arts writer Skipford M. “Christopher” Blank writes that ground has been broken for the new, expanded Playhouse on the Square at Union and Cooper.  Sounds like it will be really cool, with 344 seats, underground parking, art galleries, and a rooftop garden.

The pool table at the Saucer got a makeover last night… they changed out the felt and the rails.  It looks about a million times better and it plays better.  Looking forward to giving Pete many an ass-whooping on the “new” table.  By the way, I took a walk a few minutes ago and discovered that Woodchuck Granny Smith is today’s Fire Sale.  There are going to be some people who complain about a cider being the Fire Sale, but I’d much rather have that than nasty Turbo Dog.  I can tell they have someone new picking Fire Sales this week and they need to let that person keep doing it.

Snozberry plays the Red Rooster this Saturday, March 29.  Hey, I made the Rooster’s Top Friends list on their MySpace page!  No definite plans for Saturday, other than watching some basketball games which hopefully won’t include Tennessee.  May have to go check out Snoz at the Rooster.

Flipping through the Flyer… my horoscope says I’m susceptible to rationalizing risky behavior, which could lead to me doing stupid things this week.  Uh-oh.  I think that should have been my horoscope this past Sunday.  I’m staying the hell away from Big Foot and their 34 oz. mixed drinks this Sunday.  Back to the normal routine of brunch (McGuinness week 1), beating Pete at pool at the Saucer, and possibly a trip to Calhoun’s in the evening.

Also in the Flyer, I see that the Majestic Grille is now hiring for a lot of positions.  The Majestic is a great place to work, from what I’ve been told.  Might want to check them out if you’re looking for a service industry job.

The Peabody is starting their rooftop parties earlier than I remember in previous years.  The first one is a week from today, Thursday, April 3, with disco cover band Dr. Zarr’s Amazing Funk Monster.  The Madison’s parties start next week too, with Elmo and the Shades.  EP’s started opening their patio last Thursday.  The spring party season is starting to heat up.  I’m sure Atlas will do their usual after-parties, and “Rock Out with Your Cock Out” night will continue at the Rooster.

The Brooks is having a party next Thursday to celebrate 50 years of Helvetica.  That’s a font/typeface, for those of you who are wondering.  Arial, which is commonly seen on Windows applications, is a Helvetica imitator.  I’ve never heard of having a party for a font before.

McEwen’s (Mon-Fri) and Grill 83 (every day) now have tapas menus at the bar.

On the back page of the Flyer:  American Apparel has a “buy the same style with your BFF and each get 20% off until March 31st.”  Yeah I think I’d better pass on that one.  Actually, we already have similar style clothing, since I gave her a size-small copy of my T-shirt featuring a pic of her flipping me off.  For those who haven’t seen the BFF-T, I will be modeling it at the Saucer, Trolley Tour, and the private party I’m attending tomorrow evening.  It’s questionable whether that’s appropriate to wear to nice art galleries, but you know what?  They can get over it.  Heh… maybe I should have a drink at Spindini with that shirt on.  I’m sure they’d love that.

My friend Mikey is working the private party I’m attending tomorrow night.  He told me they have very specific rules for working the party:  You have to be drinking while you work.  That’s a good rule.  I asked Mikey to text me when the Gus’s Chicken arrives.  New Mikeyism:  “I’m sitting here enjoying a cold, frosty barley pop” = I’m drinking a beer.

(Edit:  Had a paragraph here about a South Main bum named “J.J.”  South Main residents have e-mailed me indicating that he’s kind of a special case and that the residents look after him, kind of like homeless person Scratchy in Downtown’s core.)

Time to wander down the street and figure out what I want to bring back for lunch.

I took a few pics of the swollen Mississippi River, which is expected to crest Saturday. It is close to completely swallowing Mud Island at this point. These first two were taken from the riverwalk at Riverside and Beale.

The next one was taken from the third-floor window of the Falls Building at Front and Court:

On to other news:  Eric Hughes plays Blues Night at the Westin tomorrow from 5:30 to 7:30.

Also, I received a bulletin that Ballet Memphis will perform an open rehearsal at 100 S. Main today from 11:30 to 1:00.  The public is invited to bring their lunch and come watch some true professional dancers doing their thing.  No, not that kind of professional dancers, get your mind out of the gutter.

My attempts to extort a free beer from my BFF were unsuccessful.  In addition, I lost the embarrassing photo I had printed out of her.  I can’t figure out what happened to it.  I know I had it when I left the Saucer last night, and I didn’t have it when I arrived home.  The only thing I did in between was stop at Big Foot for Paul’s Drunkass Wings.  Must’ve misplaced it there.  Good thing no one at Big Foot knows my BFF or that could be really humiliating for her.

The Saucer actually managed to have a decent Fire Sale for the second day in a row.  They must have someone different picking them this week.  Please let that person keep picking them!  Beer report:

Previous total:  $847.25

Beers 149, 150, and 151 (but 144, 145, and 146 according to the Saucer):
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale draft Fire Sale $2.75
Warsteiner draft $4.50
Tennent’s $4.50
Tip:  $11.75 x ~30% = $4.00
Total:  $15.75

Grand total:  $863.00

I’m starting to drink the draft beers I like during Happy Hour, as I do not have enough remaining Pint Nites to kill them all at $2.75.  I’ve made a list of remaining beers, and the $4.75 and $5 drafts will be the ones that get done on Pint Nite.  There are 25 beers left on my list which are under $5 at the regular price.  After that I’ll have to start drinking expensive ones.   Looks like I’ll easily be able to avoid the two $30 beers, and the two remaining nonalcoholic beers.

I chased Sharp Dressed Bum away yesterday as he started to panhandle at the Flying Saucer window.  With the weather getting nicer, the bums are getting more aggressive.

Plans for tonight:  Right after work I’m meeting a friend on a patio for mojitos.  At some point I’ll move to the Flying Saucer and do my 3 plate beers, then on to the Red Rooster for “Rock Out with Your Cock Out” night.  Not sure whether I’ll be at the Saucer or the Rooster to watch the (2) Tennessee vs. (3) Louisville game which tips off at 8:57.  Go Louisville!  Knock Bruce Pearl and his ugly orange tie out of the tournament once and for all, please!  Never thought I’d see the day when I’d be rooting for Louisville, but Pearl has got to go.

And I’ve got to go.  To work.  Outta here.

Hard Rock Cafe is hosting a Rock the Storm benefit for those who were affected by the recent round of tornadoes that tore through Memphis.  It will be Saturday the 29th, with bands Aurora and Rainy Day Manual, and singer/songwriter Brenna Vick.  Suggested $5 donation at the door, with proceeds going to help the tornado victims via the American Red Cross.  Doors open at 9, entertainment starts at 9:30.

Congrats to the Rapscallions on claiming first place AGAIN in trivia.  What did I tell you?  That’s $350 toward the next party, assuming I get my plate done on time.

Beer report:

Previous total:  $818.25

Beers 146, 147, and 148 (but 141, 142, and 143 according to the Saucer):
Anchor Old Foghorn $7.00
Kirin Lager $5.00
Chimay Premiere (trivia bonus beer) $10.00
Tip:  $22.00 x ~30% = $7.00
Total:  $29.00

Grand total:  $847.25

There’s a new bar open at the north end of Downtown’s core.  It’s in the building next to Cafe Napoleon (block of Main between Adams and Jefferson) and it serves Cafe Napoleon’s menu.  The owners are cousins.  It’s called 88 Sports Bar, I’m told, and is open Sun-Thur until midnight.  Fri-Sat are rentals of the space only.

(7:53 AM Wed:  From this point on it’s no longer a drunk post.  Woke up to find a half-finished post, and also a half-finished box of buffalo tenders from Huey’s.  That means I must have been out past 1:00, as I would not have gone to Huey’s if Big Foot’s kitchen had still been open.)

After I got done at Saucer trivia, I walked south to Calhoun’s.  They have a copy on the wall of the handout Mikey and I gave to the new security patrol people – “our top 10 bums,” with color photos.  Hmmm, we need to get a copy of that on the wall of every bar Downtown.

Max at Calhoun’s tells me that he’s going to start having Cubs watch parties, with $1 Old Style during games.  Why the Cubs?  Hell if I know.  Max is an Arkansas fan so he generally has good taste in teams.

Which reminds me, I’ve had to face much derision from the Nuh-Uh Girl and Frank that Arkansas lost to North Carolina Sunday.  Yeah, that’s shocking, that a #9 seed lost to a #1 seed.  Looking forward to watching your #2 Vols go down in flames Thursday night.

The nice thing about having a popular blog is that readers send me links to things they think I should see.  Like yesterday for example – one of my readers sent me a link to a rather embarrassing pic of my BFF.  I printed out a copy of it on photo paper and took it to the Saucer yesterday.  She wasn’t working, but I showed it to her mini-me and a few other co-workers, as well as a few regulars from the Saucer and Lauren at Calhoun’s.  Oh and I showed it to a bum too.  General consensus was, “Paul, don’t link to that photo in your blog, she will DIE.”  Attn BFF:  I suggest you buy me a beer the next time you see me.  Because when I get thirsty, I blog.  And order T-shirts.

Here’s a link to an article about Lynne Tolley, Jack Daniel’s great-grandniece, who will be hosting a “cooking with Jack” dinner at the Peabody on Thursday.

Also in the news:  King Willie said that the main reason he ran for re-election was to protect the city from his main opponents in the last election, Chumney and Morris.  Yeah, but who’s going to protect us from Willie?

Took some pics of the swollen Mississippi River last night.  Will post them as soon as I get them downloaded from my camera.  Mud Island has just about been swallowed up.

I’m 50/50 on whether I’m going to do Itta Bena tonight.  May just skip it and go straight to the Saucer.  Will play the Window Game if I can find a seat at the window.  I need to print up some more scorecards for the game.  Right now though, it’s time to go to work so I can pay for all this beer I drink.

My grandmother who lived for many years in Trimble, Tennessee passed away this morning.  She was my last living grandparent.  Actually, she was a step-grandparent, but still.

I had not seen her in several years.  She had begun to decline physically and mentally and spent the last 5 years or so in a nursing home.  If I had gone to visit her, she probably would not have remembered me.

I suppose I should be feeling a sense of loss, but I really don’t.  The grandmother I knew as a child was gone years ago.  And now she’s reunited with my grandfather, who passed away in 1988.

The funeral is tomorrow at noon in Trimble.  I likely won’t be able to go because we’re under a tight deadline at work.  If my grandfather were still alive, I’d probably go to be there to support him.

Anyway, if anything, I feel a sense of happiness that she and my grandfather are back together.  Business as usual tonight.  I’ll be at trivia, and the Rapscallions will claim another victory.

Well, it turns out I only made it through ONE plate beer on Sunday rather than the two I thought I had. Sunday beer report:

Previous total: $798.50

Beer 142 (but 137 according to the Saucer):
Dogfish Indian Brown Ale $6.50
Tip: $6.50 x ~30% = $2.00
Total: $8.50

Grand total: $807.00

Even if I had been sober, that crap would not have been worth $6.50. Probably the first Dogfish Head beer I’ve found not to be worth the money. No, I take that back, I remember when they had Chicory Stout on tap, which was without a doubt the nastiest beer ever.  Big fan of their IPAs though, and Raison d’Etre.

Monday beer report:

Beers 143, 144, and 145 (but 138, 139, and 140 according to the Saucer):
Guinness $2.75
Spaten Franziskaner Hefe-Weizen $2.75
Spaten Oktoberfest $2.75
Tip: 3 beers x $1 = $3.00
Total: $11.25

Grand total: $818.25

My friend Bicycle Bobby brought me a calendar called “Tantalizing Takeoffs,” featuring 12 hot babes posing next to planes. I wasn’t all that impressed with the calendar, but the piece of cardboard in the middle seemed useful. “Hmmm,” I thought, “since I have a panhandling forum, maybe it’s time I did a little panhandling myself, to see what it’s like.” So I had bartender Jamie make me a “please buy me a beer” sign and I sat there in the Saucer and held it up for all to see. Worked too – I got two free beers. If you scroll down to the previous post, you’ll see Saucer regular IQ holding the sign.

On tap for movie night at EP’s tonight:  The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Single White Female.   First movie starts at 7 PM.

Speaking of movies, the Majestic Grille has installed a HUGE movie screen at the back of their restaurant, easily visible from any seat in the house.  They plan to show old 1920s and 1930s movies on the screen, appropriate since the building was originally a movie theater in that era.  “We’re not going to turn the place into a sports bar,” one of the owners told me.  “But if Memphis makes it to the Final Four, we’ll probably HAVE to show the last two games on the screen.  And the Ryder cup.”  Which led me to ask WTF the Ryder Cup is.  It’s golf.  I hate golf.  I hope the Ryder Cup happens on a week when we’re at McGuinness for brunch.

Tonight:  Pete the Trivia Guy will hand the Rapscallions a $50 first-place gift certificate, and express his admiration for the Rapscallions’ seemingly endless knowledge.