Paul Ryburn's Journal

News for those of you who live in Memphis and work in Arkansas, or vice versa…

The I-40 bridge over the Mississippi River – aka the Hernando DeSoto Bridge or “new bridge” – has been closed to traffic after a pillar in a construction zone settled overnight. They’re not taking any chances after the tragedy in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago. Looks like it may be closed for some time.

So, if you plan on crossing the river as you commute home, better get on I-55 as early in the commute as possible, and expect delays as that bridge will be forced to handle twice its normal volume.

– The Memphis City Council has passed possibly the most unenforceable ordinance ever. If your cat is caught defecating in someone else’s yard, you can be fined $50. Now, how in the world is this going to work? If cops have to witness panhandlers beg Downtown to write them citations, then I’m assuming that a cop would have to see the cat defecate to be able to cite the owner. But, even if the cop did see it, how would he know whether the cat is doing its business in its own yard, or someone else’s?

Here’s a video of a cat who is in compliance with the new city ordinance:

Hmmm… I can just imagine little old ladies getting out their video cameras, trying to get evidence of Fluffy from next door in violation of the ordinance. Seems to me that even if a citation were issued and the matter got to court, a judge would have a good laugh and dismiss it.

Perhaps the City of Memphis should begin a PR campaign to promote awareness of the new ordinance. They could contact the producers of Friends and see if they can license Phoebe’s song “Smelly Cat” to use in commercials here.

– It’s the last Monday of the month, which means it’s once again time for “Elevate Your Senses,” a night for Downtowners to get to know one another, enjoy complimentary appetizers, and listen to Di Anne Price tickle the ivories in the Westin’s lobby bar. In addition to the good food, drink and conversation, you can register to win a dinner for two at the Daily Grill. Don’t miss it – it’s happening right after work tonight, from 5:30 to 7:30 PM.

– This weekend I’ve been reading up about the new smoking law scheduled to go into enforcement October 1. There’s been a lot of discussion among my friends as to whether smoking will continue to be allowed at some of my favorite bars. After reading the information about the smoking law on the State of Tennessee’s website, it’s not looking good for my friends who smoke.

Restaurants and bars who only admit people over 21 are eligible for an exemption – but, they have to be 21 and over ALL THE TIME. They can’t switch to 21-up at some point in the evening to allow smokers to light up from then on. Most of my hangouts Downtown do allow kids during the day, up until 8 or 9 PM. They’re going to have a decision to make. This could benefit some of Downtown’s dive bars, like Earnestine & Hazel’s and the Black Diamond, which as far as I know never allow people under the legal drinking age.

Then, of course, there’s my favorite bar Downtown, which has big garage windows. There’s been a lot of speculation whether those windows would qualify them for an exemption. But, reading the ordinance, it doesn’t look like it – the ordinance mentions exemptions for garage type DOORS, when all said doors are open. People don’t enter the bar through the garage windows – there’s a separate door for that. It’s probably open to some interpretation but it doesn’t look good for people who want to smoke there.

Gonna be real interesting to see how the bar/restaurant landscape changes come October 1.

– Dr. Herman Green, the 77-year-old sax player for FreeWorld, got his musical note on the Beale Street Walk of Fame yesterday afternoon. Herman first played on Beale Street in 1945 and has been the inspiration behind FreeWorld’s success for the past 20 years.

– Downtown music legend Charlie Wood and his band The New Memphis Underground have a new CD out. Flyer writer Chris Herrington gave the album an A- and compared Wood to Lyle Lovett. “As a calling card for a live-band show, it totally convinces,” Herrington writes.

– Caught Aquanet at the Saucer last night and they were fantastic. ’80s hair band music, complete with the look and the attitude. If you live in Southaven, they’ll be playing your Huey’s tonight at 8:30.

– Couple of good sites I found on the Internet – the first one is for teachers: Teachers First, a website by teachers, for teachers. The site describes itself as a collection of lessons, units and web resources presented in classroom-ready format.

– And one for journalists: Tools for Print Journalists, by the Committee of Concerned Journalists. This looks like a great set of resources – just looking at the front page, I see tips for loosening lips during interviews, advice for dealing with requests for anonymity by sources, and steps to effective citizen journalism online, among other great articles.

– Picture from last night: The big announcement as The Nuh-Uh Girl (pictured below, at right, next to the pair of clapping hands) joined the Flying Saucer’s Ring of Honor.

The Nuh-Uh Girl had the Saucer put “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” in big letters on her plate, because indeed, it is all about the Nuh-Uh Girl. Afterward, a group of us went to Sekisui for sushi – our original plan was to go to Bluefin, but they told us they COULDN’T POSSIBLY seat a table of nine without a reservation, despite only three or four tables in the whole place being occupied at the time. I guess their reputation as an exclusive place to dine is more important than several hundred dollars in food and beverage revenue. Luckily the people at Sekisui practically bent over backwards to accommodate us, and we appreciate it and will remember it. I had the crunchy eel roll, with the eel deep-fried in tempura, and it was outstanding. The Nuh-Uh Sister got a seaweed salad which looked good… gonna have to get one next time I go in. Sekisui and the Russwood Park Grill are connected, so I guess I could eat sushi while sitting at Frenchie’s bar.

– Looks like the Sunday brunch crew is extending the McGuinness field trip to week two… we had a great time there last week. It was good to sit at a bar tended by Amy again, and there were a number of items on the menu that the brunch crew wanted to come back and try. After that we’ll probably move to the Saucer as usual. I’m close to having my newest website ready to roll out – this one’s for college students – so I may wander back up there in the evening with my laptop and see if I can finish it.

Now that I think about it, McG is already open – they start serving at 9 AM – so I guess I’ll head on up there.

Mpact Memphis is looking for audience members for a September 10 debate it is sponsoring for the City of Memphis mayoral race. Major candidates Herman Morris, Carol Chumney, and John Willingham will be there, although so far King Willie has declined to participate.

For more info on the debate and how to apply to be an audience member, check out this article in today’s Commercial Appeal.

A member of The Subteens lives in my building and posted this on the bulletin board, so I figured I’d pass along the info. The Subteens and DJ Piper Dandy tonight at the Gibson Lounge, $10 cover, prom attire requested but optional.

Several readers have e-mailed me asking the identity of my favorite blogger/MILF who I mention from time to time. Now, usually when I mention other bloggers I link to their blogs… but in this case I don’t. Why? Well, I still haven’t met my favorite blogger/MILF in person yet, and in case she turns out to be hot I don’t want to go introducing her to several hundred of my male blog readers.

But, OK, I’ll give into public demand and post a pic of her. But I’ll do even better than posting a current pic of her…. here’s an age-enhanced pic of how she’ll look in the year 2057.

Thursday when I gave my speech about panhandling to the Center City Commission, I mentioned Sharp Dressed Bum, whose real name is Tommie, in an illustrative example. Tommie is a well-known Downtown panhandler who cusses people out, makes obscene and lewd comments, and makes threatening physical gestures when people turn him down. One of my readers saw the post and e-mailed me the following story about him:

“I’m almost ashamed to admit, but Tommie was my “tour guide” to the
Rendezvous. I gave him $10 for taking me there, and he argued with me to
give him $20. I lectured him on how grateful he should be to get even $10,
and he stomped away.

He flirted with my wife and tried to hold both of our hands. Good grief.
Anything to gain your confidence.

It was obvious Tommie was telling so many lies he forgot which ones he told.
One, he told me was going to meet his girlfriend. Then he told me he didn’t
have a girlfriend. Two, he told me he worked at Rendezvous. Then he told
me worked elsewhere. Three, he told me he was a tourist and needed money to
stay at the Holiday Inn. Wait, I thought he worked at the Rendezvous.
Never mind. You get the picture.”

By the way, next Thursday, August 30 is Tommie’s 47th birthday. How do I know this? Well, about a month ago I found him in shelbywarrants.org with an outstanding warrant, and learned his full name and date of birth. Except, I checked yesterday and the warrant is no longer in the system, which may explain why Tommie hasn’t been seen on the streets in the past week – he’s possibly enjoying a stay at Hotel 201 right now. Anyway, if he’s out by the 30th and you see him, be sure to wish him a happy birthday.

Last night I was in the Flying Saucer and I saw this flyer on the bar:

Personally, I’d rather fantasize about the waitresses, but, whatever floats your boat.

No, actually, I do think it’s pretty cool that they’re starting a fantasy football league at the Saucer. I probably won’t participate since I don’t follow the NFL close enough to know which players to draft.

Oh crap… I just realized that this promotion will draw even more GUYS to my favorite bar… like the Saucer isn’t enough of a sausage-fest already. Why can’t they run some promotions to get women to come there?

If you don’t get out to the Saucer enough to join their fantasy football league, it’s easy to find another league and play online – here’s a link to Yahoo’s fantasy league, just click the image to sign up.

Today I attended the Center City Commission Board of Directors meeting and gave a 5-minute presentation as a “Downtown Stakeholder,” designed to give the board a reality check on what goes on down here. It was a very unique opportunity and I appreciated the invitation. I think the speech was well received and I saw looks of surprise on some of the attendees’ faces when I told them stories of the aggressive, intimidating panhandling that I see every day.

I also learned of a couple of opportunities for Downtowners, one to interact with the CCC yourselves, and another to support a measure to get panhandling cases moved to a special environmental court. More details on those coming soon.

I’ve pasted the approximate text of my speech below. Whew! Glad that’s over. I actually had to put on a dress shirt and nice slacks (no tie, though) on a 100-degree day – not fun, how do people do that every day? I’ve decided to torture myself and keep it on for the rest of the day, too. Luckily, the work I have to do this afternoon is mostly busy work (copy, paste, save, upload) so I’m done thinking for a while. So I’ve decided to visit my waitresses this afternoon and work from the Saucer.

Don’t forget, Crash Kole CD release party at Pearl’s Oyster House tonight, 7:30.

————

First of all, I want to thank you all for having me here today. My name is Paul Ryburn, and I’ve been a Downtown resident for five and a half years. I’m also lucky enough to be able to work wherever there’s wireless Internet, so I’m out and about a lot, working from restaurants and coffee shops down here. And I have to tell you, based on what I’ve seen, panhandling in Downtown Memphis has never been worse than it is right now, both in terms of the numbers of panhandlers, and their aggressive, intimidating nature. I want to tell you a few quick stories to illustrate.

A few Sundays ago, I was walking up Beale Street between Second and Main. This is a block that’s open to vehicle traffic, with the Elvis statue right there. There were three panhandlers who had taken over this block and were running it like their own private business. One was working the statue itself, chasing down tourists who had come to take a picture and aggressively hitting them up for money. Another was literally stopping moving traffic on Beale, walking up to car windows and panhandling right there. A third was illegally charging to park, both at the metered spaces on Beale – which are free on Sunday – and in the Premier Systems Parking lot at Main and Beale, which was unattended that day. No one was stopping these guys, they had total control of the street. And this was not an isolated incident, either. This kind of thing goes on all the time on that block.

Let me tell you about a particular panhandler down here, named Tommie [note: that’s Sharp Dressed Bum’s real name]. He likes to hang out by the Peabody, the Rendezvous, Second Street, Peabody Place, where there are a lot of tourists. He’ll approach them and act like a “tour guide” – except, at the end of the tour, “gimme some money.” And if you say no, Tommie gets nasty. He’ll follow you down the street and cuss you out. If you’re a woman he’ll make obscene sexual comments. Sometimes he’ll even do this (quick threatening motion) like he’s going to jump you. Very intimidating, and it makes a horrible impression of Downtown Memphis.

CeCe’s Liquors at Main and Madison sells one-shot bottles of cheap booze, and $2-3 bottles of cheap wine. As a result, panhandlers hang out nearby in Court Square, and also in front of the Walgreens at Main and Madison. They’ll beg passersby, saying they’re homeless and need money to get something to eat. What they actually do, though, is gather up enough money and walk over to CeCe’s to buy a bottle. They drink it and then repeat the process, going back out to beg some more… except this time, they’re drunk.

That last story illustrates a point I want to make. Many of these guys you see out here begging month after month, year after year are not homeless. This is a business for them, they’re out here hustling. They make good money and have places to go at night. But what it does do is take money away from legitimate organizations who have programs in place to help those in need.

Not only that, but it takes money away from businesses Downtown. How do I know that? Well, I write a blog about my life in Downtown Memphis. It’s pretty popular, getting about 700 hits a day on weekdays. As a result, people send me e-mail – people from out of town, and from other parts of Memphis. They say things like, “Hey Paul, I visited your neighborhood last weekend. I agree with you, there’s tons of stuff to do Downtown, but every time I went out on the sidewalks these people approached me for money. It was very scary. I’ll be honest, I’m not going to come back.” I’ve also had friends who considered buying condos down here, then changed their minds. They told me, “I don’t want to deal with that [panhandling] every time I walk out my front door.”

Now, there is a group of citizens that is trying to turn the problem around. About a month ago my friend Mike King and I formed Handling-Panhandling, an online Internet forum where citizens discuss the problem. We’ve posted pictures of panhandlers, and in many cases identified them by name and whether they have outstanding warrants. We’ve also identified the hotspot locations Downtown. When we created the forum we expected it to have a limited appeal; we expected about 30-40 members to join. We were wrong. After only a month in existence, we’ve had almost 200 people sign up, many with messages to the effect of, “I’m fed up. If something isn’t done about this, I’m out of here.”

There has been progress. The Memphis Police now monitor the forum, and we’ve seen them applying manpower to the problem hotspots we’ve identified. However, this can’t be a quick fix, where we see cops for a couple of weeks and then things return to business as usual. We need a long-term solution. We need a plan.

In conclusion: I live Downtown. I absolutely love my neighborhood and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. I want to see it grow and prosper. When people visit my neighborhood, I want them to leave with a great impression. That’s not happening right now due to the panhandling. Thanks again for your time.