Paul Ryburn's Journal

If you checked my blog a few minutes ago you may have seen a post appear and then disappear… here’s what happened.

One of my readers sent me a link to a 15% off coupon at EP Delta Kitchen and Bar. I posted it, but then found out that they were asking people to fill out a short form (to add them to their mailing list) before giving them the coupon. I didn’t want to circumvent EP’s attempt to build a mailing list, so I took the post down.

Here’s the link. You can decide for yourself whether you want to provide your name and e-mail address in exchange for a 15% off coupon.

Last night I went to Downtown Huey’s to see The Dempseys. Turned out to be a wild night.

About midway through the performance, my friend Harmony who was sitting next to me at the bar asked, “Paul, do you have your digital camera on you? Because, there’s a celebrity in here and you have an opportunity to take a picture of him. Down there at the other end of the bar, that’s Rob Corddry.”

“Really?” I asked. “Rob Corddry is in here? In our local bar, only two blocks from where I live, ROB CORDDRY is here? Oh my God!” Then I asked, “Who the hell is Rob Corddry?”

Harmony explained that he’s a former correspondent for The Daily Show and he got his start as a comedian with the Upright Citizens Brigade. “He was one of the funniest, most satirical correspondents on The Daily Show,” Harmony told me. “Why don’t you go down there and talk to him? I’m sure he’d let you take a photo.”

“What am I supposed to say?” I responded. “‘Hi Rob, I don’t know who the hell you are, but I’d like to take a picture of you’? I don’t think so.” So I gave Harmony a quick lesson in how to operate my camera and she took it down to his end of the bar. A few minutes later she brought him over and I snapped this pic:

Meanwhile, The Dempseys were having fun on stage. At one point Brad put his guitar down and told the others, “I’m sorry, guys, but I gotta do this,” and proceeded to do The Worm on Huey’s wood floor. He actually did it very well too, reminding me of the late ’90s when WWE wrestler Scotty 2 Hotty used to do The Worm in the ring during his matches.

Later in the evening, the band broke into a Poison song. Now, it’s normal for them to start riffing the first few bars of Metallica or Skynyrd or something like that and then breaking off and saying “Just kidding, folks,” or “that’s all we know.” But last night they played the Poison song ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Remember, this is a ROCKABILLY band. I guess if the rockabilly thing doesn’t work out for them, they could have a second career as a heavy metal/hair band. There’s probably an opportunity for a Hair Club For Men sponsorship in there somewhere.

They did a medley of songs about cities, states, counties, and towns. Of course, I’ve been to so many of their shows that I know the medley all the way through… the last song is Marty Robbins’ “Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl.” I like to sing along but I change the lyrics to, “Out in the Mid-Southern town of Memphis, I fell in love with Romanian girls.”

Here are a few photos of The Dempseys doing their usual thing:

When the band was on break, Huey’s had the music turned to the Led Zeppelin channel on whatever radio service they subscribe to. Or maybe they had all Zeppelin CDs in the player, don’t know. Whatever the case, my compliments to the person who selected the music.

Also during break, I noticed Sharp Dressed Bum wander through on three separate occasions. He’d walk in the front door, use the restroom, and then walk back out. People who had come in recently told me that he was standing outside, begging for money. When he came in the next time, I alerted the bartender. “Do you know that guy?” I asked. The bartender said no. “He’s a bum! He’s not in here to order anything. He’s been outside panhandling.” That was all the bartender needed to hear. He got the manager, and Sharp Dressed Bum was kicked out of Huey’s. Hopefully they’ll remember him and not let him come back.

Due to the cold weather, Sharp Dressed Bum hasn’t been looking so sharp lately. He’s been wearing one of those navy knit caps with white snowflakes on it that ties up under the chin, and a brown coat. I’ve been seeing him walk down Second every night about 11 PM, and up Third every morning about 7:45 AM. I wonder if S.D.B. has a J.O.B.? I find that hard to believe though.

Here’s one more pic, my attempt at artistic photography:

It’s a picture of the inside of a beer glass, with Huey’s neon lights reflecting off the beer. Far out, man! Psychedelic! Trippy!

Taking a day off work to get some personal projects done… really, I can’t do anything at work until two different meetings get set up, so there wouldn’t have been much to do there anyway. Microsoft is sending some engineers down here tomorrow and Wednesday for question-and-answer sessions about Visual Studio 2005, Active Directory, SharePoint Services, SQL Server, and anything else we want to ask. Microsoft is even catering lunch for us tomorrow. Looking forward to that.

Also looking forward to tonight, when I have a meeting scheduled at The Majestic Grille. Anytime I can find an excuse to eat at the Majestic, it’s a good thing.

That’ll do it for now… see you later, still have plenty to blog about, just have to find the time.

Friday, January 19: Professional wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow, 45, passes away at his home in Hudson, Florida.

Sunday, January 28: The Memphis Commercial Appeal reports that professional wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow has passed away.

Now, granted, this is hardly a story of primary importance, but still, it’s nine days old. Why even BOTHER with it? If you can’t report the news in a timely fashion, why report it at all?

This is what passes for “journalism” in 2007. No wonder the bloggers are running the newspapers out of business.

From my living room windows, I have a perfect view of the hot tub on the roof of the Residence Inn by Marriott (formerly the Wm. Len). Looked out the window a few minutes ago, and there was a brown garment hanging on the rail next to the hot tub. Got out the binoculars and could see that it was either a bikini top, or a bra.

Guess someone had a good time up there last night.

Last night as I was walking to Trolley Tour, I passed Spindini, the Grisanti family’s new restaurant at 383 S. Main, and noticed it was open. My friend Bruce was working the door. “Come on in, take a look around,” he said. The place is beautiful – elegant-looking bar that seems to go on forever, as long as the one at the Majestic or even longer. “We’ve been open since Wednesday,” Bruce told me. “But tonight is the first night we’ve had a full bar, because the liquor delivery went to 383 N. Main by mistake.” Oops.

Before I hit Trolley Tour, I stopped by (where else) the Saucer for a beer. We got talking on the subject of Sunday brunches… the guy standing next to me at the bar told me the Huevos Rancheros on Zanzibar’s Sunday brunch menu are outstanding. I also picked up a recommendation for the Sunday brunch at the Majestic Grille, although I don’t see details about it anywhere on their site. I know the Majestic people read this blog… if something special goes on for Sunday brunch, shoot me an e-mail and let me know.

Speaking of the Majestic, I see they have their new menu up on their site. Can’t wait to try the filet au poivre, a peppercorn-encrusted filet with Dijon mustard brandy sauce which appears to be the standout among the new menu items.

Trolley Tour was all right… ran into my friend Shane and we hit a few of the galleries, which was a real treat because Shane is an artist himself, and it was interesting to see his reaction to the work on display. After that we hit Earnestine & Hazel’s and played pool on what must be the worst pool table in the city – threadbare felt, cue ball that doesn’t always return when someone scratches, cue sticks that are taped together with duct tape, no chalk. But because it’s E&H the pool table absolutely fits in with the rest of the decor. I love E&H. I forgot to go upstairs and visit Nate though.

After a few games, Shane got pissed off when one of our opponents tried to talk on the cell phone to one of her girlfriends and shoot at the same time, and walked away from the game. We then walked up to the Tap Room on Beale, where I visited my mug and shot a few more games. About 1:00 I stumbled into Huey’s for a Texas Toast burger to go, and that was the end of the night. Mmmm… that was a good burger… think I’ll have another one tomorrow night when I go to see The Dempseys.

Bumped into Semi-Charmed Kat and her Ptolemy friends last night on South Main. One of them asked if I graduated from Ole Miss, and I had to say to myself, “Take it easy, Paul, she isn’t trying to insult you.” Kat and her friends are planning their annual Poker Run, which apparently is one of the big reasons people join Ptolemy. “It’s on a Sunday, and you get to hop from bar to bar downtown, and drink,” they explained to me. Sounds like what I do every Sunday.

(Note: People who don’t have a sense of humor about religion, stop reading now)

Drunken thought I had last night while munching on my Texas Toast burger: You know how people sometimes say “Jesus H. Christ!” when they’re shocked or upset? Well, that gave me an idea for a take off on the “W: The President” bumper sticker – how about one that reads “H: The Gospel.” Hmmm… maybe I need to open a new CafePress store and start selling those.

And that’s the Saturday morning post. Plans for today: A trip to Office Depot to buy a business card creator program (I ordered one online last month but it never shipped) and some laptop screen cleaner. After that I’ll take the laptop someplace where there’s Wi-Fi and waitresses in miniskirts and get to work on learning CSS. Probably won’t go out tonight, although I could change my mind if something interesting comes up.

Coming soon: The most interesting non-profits from the expo I attended, and a new T-shirt I bought from a company with a really cool product line.

If you’ve followed this blog the past week, you know that I am bound and determined to learn CSS so that I can create my own website and blog templates. But, even for someone like me with a background in web development, it’s a lot of work.

If you need a website and don’t have time to learn CSS and/or graphic design, here’s an option. I found a site today called DreamTemplate that has almost 1,000 Web templates, as well as hundreds of Flash, PowerPoint, and Word templates. Unlike most sites of its type, this is not a pay-per-template deal. Rather, you join for 1 year (and it’s hardly more expensive than one template would cost on other sites), and get access to ALL of their templates. If you build a lot of sites, or if you want to download templates and dissect them to see how they work, this might be worth joining.

If you really, really love a template and want it to be yours and yours alone, you can pay the unique price and they will remove it from their list of free member downloads. (Be warned though: the unique prices are high as a kite. The download-all-you-want, non-unique price is a much better deal.)

Staying in tonight… that makes 3 nights of the past 4 that I haven’t made an appearance at the Saucer, and I can’t remember the last time that happened. But, I have a new CSS book and want to work through as much of it as possible. See ya at the South Main Trolley Art Tour tomorrow evening… (Edit: Changed my mind, heading to the Saucer in a few minutes.)

Tonight I went to the Mpact Memphis/Volunteer Memphis Non-Profit Expo, where over 75 non-profits handed out information and recruited volunteers. As I turned onto Cherry Road and made the last leg of my drive to the Botanic Center, I thought, “It’s 5:35, only 5 minutes after the event started. I bet there’s no one there.”

Was I ever wrong. Five minutes later and I wouldn’t have found a space on the Gardens’ parking lot. It was packed. Nearly the entire indoor center of the Gardens was filled with booths, full of people eager to talk about their organizations. By the time I left (about 6:30) cars were parked up and down Cherry Road for a good two blocks in each direction.

This is more evidence that Mpact is really making a strong comeback… the Non-Profit Expo has always been one of their best events. And this year they made it even better, partnering with an organization (Volunteer Memphis) that has all the contacts and knows how to throw a volunteer fair… great job to everyone involved. I brought a big bag of pamphlets and goodies home, and hopefully this weekend I’ll type up a post highlighting the three or four most interesting non-profits I saw.

Stopped on the way home for Taco Bell. The spork has got to be the greatest invention ever. No, wait, the tube top is the greatest invention ever. The spork is #2.

I’m finding myself a bit annoyed with my fellow members of the human race this morning.

First of all, I arrived at work, nearly done with my current project, just needed to figure out why a few items aren’t being saved to the database. As you know, I work in Cubicle World, in a big room containing about 20 people. Many of my cubicle neighbors are mainframe programmers who are about 20-25 years older than me. So, this morning, as I was trying to figure out what was wrong with my code, this is the conversation that was struck up in the cubicle behind me.

“I’m going in to the doctor for a procedure… a colonoscopy.”

“OH! I’ve had one of those! Let me tell you ALL ABOUT IT!”

At that point I decided it was time to take a long walk.

As of now (lunchtime) I still haven’t gotten the last bugs out of my project.

So, at lunch I made a run to Bookstar to buy a CSS book (thanks to Justin for e-mailing me some recommendations). Picked out one I wanted, walked to the cash register, where a woman beat me to the front of the line by just a second.

At Bookstar you get 15% off if you have a Barnes & Noble membership card. Well, the woman in front of me didn’t have one. But her mother did. So she asked if she could use her mother’s. But she didn’t have it. They said they could look it up by account number or phone number. She gave a phone number. But it wasn’t the one registered to use the account. So she called her mother at work. And she got the receptionist. And they had to page her mother. Meanwhile she asked if the account number could be looked up by address. It couldn’t. She got her mother on the phone and asked for the correct phone number. Her mother gave her a number. It didn’t work either. So her mother started looking for the B&N card with the account number on it.

By this time more than 5 minutes had passed. I started rolling my eyes to express my annoyance (a trick I learned from The Romanian Sensation, who would roll her eyes when people didn’t tip her well enough), and the cashier saw me and called for backup. A second cashier arrived and I was out in 30 seconds.

Oh, by the way, the major purchase that this woman was trying to save 15% on came to $10.87. That’s not the discount but the amount of the purchase. So she held the line up for more than five minutes to save A DOLLAR.

If it had really been that important, couldn’t she have found out the correct number BEFORE getting in line?

I hate people sometimes.

All right… you’ve kept reading this long, so you get a reward. I discovered a good site last night. A lot of old comedy shorts and classic movies from the ’20s through the ’60s have fallen into the public domain. This means that either their copyrights expired or the studio forgot to renew them, and so they’re free for anyone to distribute. So, if you go to this site, you can watch a lot of movies and comedy shorts online. Some of their offerings include

• Several Three Stooges episodes
• A couple of Bugs Bunny cartoons
• Some Popeye cartoons
• A Tom and Jerry episode (from 1931, I didn’t realize that Tom and Jerry had been around that long)
• An Our Gang episode – “School’s Out” – from 1930. It’s listed as “Spanky and Our Gang,” but this pre-dates Spanky, it’s a Jackie Cooper/Miss Crabtree episode
• Nosferatu, the first classic vampire movie ever, from 1922
• Several Tarzan movies
• And about 100 other classic movies. They have some pre-1927 movies on the site, which means they’re silent. I’ve never seen a silent movie before, and may watch one when I get the chance, just to see what movies were like when my grandmother was little.

… And that’s it for now. Don’t forget the Non-Profit Expo at the Botanic Gardens tonight, 5:30-8:00. Going to power down the laptop, read the first chapter of my CSS book, and head back to work. Hopefully we’re done with colonoscopy discussions for the day.

I’m in the process of setting up a second blog – not a replacement for this one, but a blog I will write in addition to this one. I’ve done it before… as many of you remember, from April to December of last year I had a second blog, then gave it up. This new blog will be a better, bigger deal than the last one.

For all my new blogs, I want to use the WordPress publishing engine. So I’ve been working through a tutorial explaining how to create WordPress themes and templates (those are what give a blog its unique look). As they were laying out the table using CSS, they commented, “Of course, no competent web designer would lay out a site using HTML tables, which should be used only for tabular data.”

Uh-oh. I’ve created some nice looking sites over the past two years – for example, TradiantCAD.com and the redesign of my grade calculator. But those sites were laid out using HTML tables.

Sounds like I’m incompetent.

Sounds like I need a crash course in CSS, before I even bother with WordPress and its templates and themes. I’ve tried converting existing sites from tables to the CSS model, but the “float” tag and some other CSS elements remain a mystery.

I’m not giving up though. If I got through college having had to pass Calculus III at 8 in the morning, surely I can get this. If I got through grad school programming in languages like Ada which have the most f-d up syntax this side of Mars, surely I can get this.

Tomorrow I’m going to search Amazon for good books on CSS, then go to Bookstar on my lunch break and buy the one that looks the best. I’ll pay about $10 extra not ordering it from Amazon, but I’m too impatient to wait for it to be shipped.

Gotta clarify something… I promote a lot of events in my blog, but unless I say I WILL BE THERE it doesn’t necessarily mean I will be there. Last night I had people asking me, “why weren’t you at the State of the Union Party at Sleep Out Louie’s? You talked about it on your blog.” Well, last night was trivia night at the Saucer, and the fact is, I enjoy my trivia team more than I enjoy listening to George W. Bush. So that’s where I was, and my team The Rapscallions took another $50 first-place gift certificate home, bringing our total stash to $275.

Sample question from last night: Who was the first president born in the 19th century? The answer was Millard Fillmore, born January 7, 1800. Although, now that I think about it, that’s incorrect, because 1800 was the last year of the 18th century. So the correct answer should have been Franklin Pierce (born 1804), who succeeded Fillmore. Anyway, we guessed Fillmore and got it counted correct.

Great teamwork by everyone last night, and it was good to have the Nuh-Uh Sister join us. The Nuh-Uh Sister thinks she needs a new nickname… she better be careful what she wishes for. We also had a really cute dietitian join us, and it’s probably a good thing she didn’t get there in time to see me wolf down a plate of chili cheese fries.

Back in Cubicle World after two days in class. Interesting statistic I learned in class (alert: non-geeks might as well skip to the next paragraph now): Salary surveys indicate that C# programmers make 20% more money than VB.NET programmers do, for doing the same work. Why? Because C#’s ancestors, C and C++, were considered powerful, prestigious business programming languages in the 1980s-90s, whereas VB.NET’s ancestors (BASIC and Visual Basic) were toy languages up until about 1999. Nowadays, VB has caught up and the two languages are essentially equivalent, yet there’s still the difference in pay. Moral of the story: If you’re learning to program for Microsoft platforms, learn C#.

Plans for the rest of this week:

Tomorrow evening: Mpact Memphis/Volunteer Memphis Non-Profit Expo at the Botanic Gardens, 5:30-8:00. I WILL BE THERE. Not necessarily looking to get involved in more non-profits, just going to socialize mainly. Although, you never know, since they’re expanding to 75 non-profits this year it’s possible I’ll find something I’ll like.

Friday evening: South Main Trolley Art Tour, 6-9 pm. About an 80% chance I WILL BE THERE since many of the galleries serve free wine.

Saturday: No idea.

Sunday: Brunch at Sleep Out’s, probably a few beers at the Saucer and then THE DEMPSEYS at DOWNTOWN HUEY’S!!!! from 8:30 until midnight. I WILL BE THERE!!!!!

Also, one event where I won’t be there (because it would involve driving), but if you’re in the neighborhood it’s worth going to: The Charlie Wood Trio at Midtown Huey’s, 4 to 7 PM Sunday.

That’s about it for now… probably going to stay home tonight, but you never know.