Attn Madison Hotel guests: close your blinds

Last night was Thursday night, which usually means Peabody rooftop parties. But I was in too mellow a mood to deal with seeing, being seen, and all that jazz. So I merely rode the elevator up to my own rooftop (No. 10 Main) where, not surprisingly, several of my neighbors were hanging out and drinking wine.

We were watching the sunset when one of my neighbors blurted out, “Is that guy naked?” She pointed at the 16th-floor penthouse of the Madison Hotel, and indeed there was a man walking back and forth in front of a window. For the next few minutes the conversation went something like this:

“Are you sure he’s naked?”
“He could have on flesh-colored boxers.”
“Flesh-colored boxers? They actually make those?”
“No, he’s definitely naked, I think I just saw ass crack.”
“Hope he doesn’t turn around.”
“Hey look, those people from the 15th floor (sitting at the other end of our rooftop deck) are watching him too! And they have binoculars!”
“Okay, he put a towel on.”
“He’s putting on DEODORANT right in front of the window!!! Ewww!”

By this point we were trying to figure out his room number, so we could call the Madison and ask for him. But none of us had been on the 16th floor in a long time, so no luck there. He was standing at the window, wearing a towel, talking on the phone, staring out, but he apparently didn’t see us, despite a couple of my neighbors waving at him and doing everything they could to get his attention.

So anyway… he clearly was primping and preening for a night on the town. He took over an hour to get ready. “Even I don’t take that long!” commented one of my female neighbors. So, after all that preparation, what did he finally put on? Khakis, and a white golf shirt. Over an hour to prepare, and a WHITE GOLF SHIRT is the best he could do. I mean, come on, dude. We asked the people with the binoculars to look and see if there was a copy of The Preppie Handbook lying on the counter. But that’s not all – HE TURNED THE COLLAR UP. I wondered if this guy slipped into a coma in 1985 and just recently woke back up, and still thinks that’s the fashion. But, if he hasn’t been working for the past 20 years, how would he be able to afford the Madison penthouse? I don’t get it.

Anyway, a cute woman came up and joined him (we wondered if he had ordered her from room service when he was on the phone earlier) and at that point, they moved away from the window. Show was over.

And that’s my Thursday night downtown. Exciting huh? I did go out briefly afterward, went to Earnestine & Hazel’s for a beer, sitting next to three cute girls at the bar, one of whom had a tube top on. But I didn’t get to talk to them (“hey, I saw a naked guy tonight on my roof” didn’t seem like a very good opener), and they left. And that was the night.

Onward to the weekend. Fun times!