If you’ve spent any time at all Downtown, you’ve undoubtedly had to deal with Sharp Dressed Bum, one of the area’s most prolific street people – and one of the rudest, if you turn down his requests. He’s been down here for years, and while he’ll sometimes take breaks of a month or two, he never seems to permanently leave. This week I decided that he’s been here long enough to deserve his own theme song. Here we go.
I’m the S.D.B., and the place to be
Is begging for change outside the Peabody
Or the Rendezvous, or down on Beale
Main Street, Second Street, keepin’ it real
If you’re gonna be a bum, you better be sharp dressed
In linen pants that are neatly pressed
And a matching shirt, and a derby hat
And a nice pair of shoes, that’s where it’s at
‘Cause I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money.
‘Scuse me sir, hey dog, hey bro
I’m the Sharp Dressed Bum, and I’m the man to know
Where you from? Let me show you around
And tell you ’bout all the sights Downtown
But here comes the part where it gets kind of strange
Can I get fitty cent, a dolla, or some change
‘Cause I’ll tell you I ain’t eaten in about three days
It’s a lie, but I hope you’ll believe it anyways
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hey S.D.B, get a J-O-B!
Hunh
Aw I see how it is then
You ain’t gonna give me no money is ya
Punk ass
I’ll beat yo mothaf***in ass
Bitch
Get on outta here before I bash your head in
Crazy ass fool
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money
I’m the S.D.B., give me money…
And there ya go, that’s the theme song. Not sure it’s quite on the level with the other raps I’ve written, Popester in tha Hizzy and the Court Square Rap, but it gets the job done.