Rev. Jerry Falwell, the TV evangelist who founded the Moral “Majority” and who brought the so-called religious right to political power, passed away today. He was 73.
Jerry, every time alcohol touches my lips tonight (and believe me, it will, plenty of times), I’ll be drinking in your honor.
And if I convince some beautiful young lady to come home with me and fornicate tonight, I’ll be doing it in your honor.
And if I accidentally knock her up, when I write a check to pay for the abortion I’ll write “in honor of Jerry Falwell” on the check.
I don’t smoke weed, but for my readers who do, I encourage you to light one up for Jerry tonight.
I’m not into guys, but for my male readers who are, pack some fudge for Jerry tonight.
I’m not a woman who’s into other women, but for my readers who are, munch some carpet for Jerry tonight.
R.I.P., Jerry.