Last night, I had the privilege of attending the Majestic Grille’s private party to celebrate the unveiling of their big screen, and the opening of their new art gallery. It was quite the event indeed – their special guest was a guy who had his picture on the wall at the Majestic, a pic of him in the building as a child in 1933. His father owned the building when it was a movie theater. Wish I had caught his name. They did the ceremonial cutting of the ribbon, and then silent movies from the Charlie Chaplin 1915-1917 era appeared on the screen.
There was free beer and wine and free appetizers, which the servers were carrying around on platters. “I bet when the Nuh-Uh Girl gets here, she starts chasing those servers around to get food,” I told a couple of members of the Sunday brunch crew. Sure enough, she did.
At the event, I ran into “Glo” and “Flo,” two friends who are supposed to be contributing guest blog posts to give this blog a female perspective. Except that it’s now been over 6 weeks since they agreed to do it, and they haven’t handed in anything yet. “We’ve been busy,” they told me. I see. I’ve found time to post 90 times in the past month, and they haven’t managed to get even one post up.
So I decided to throw out topics to try and nudge Glo and Flo into action. “Okay, here’s something I need female perspective on,” I told them. “Yesterday I posted that I need to get my BFF a present for her BFFirthday. I have no idea what to get her. Give me ideas.”
Glo responded first. “You should get her a gift certificate for a Sasquatch burger,” she said. The Sasquatch, of course, is the 4 lb. burger Big Foot sells, that is free if you eat it in under an hour. Counting bun and condiments, it’s about 7 1/2 pounds total. If you were a girl, wouldn’t you be delighted to receive such a gift? And let’s not forget that my BFF WORKS AT BIG FOOT! If she actually wanted the Sasquatch, she could probably get one for free, or at least 50% off. “This has got to be the stupidest gift idea I will ever hear,” I thought.
Before I knew it, though, Flo chimed in with a gift suggestion that matched Glo’s in stupidity: Lottery tickets. “I’d love to get lottery tickets for my birthday!” Flo said. These girls are really weird. I guess Flo’s strategy was, “let’s come up with the most impersonal gift on planet Earth.” And besides, if my BFF won with the lottery tickets I bought her, I’d be furious that she won the money and I didn’t. And you know she wouldn’t give me any of it. She’d probably buy me a Fire Sale at the Saucer.
Then Otto came along and delivered much better birthday gift suggestions than either Glo or Flo could. Keep in mind that my BFF does not know the Java programming language, nor has she ever run the Apache web server, nor has she written bug fixes to improve the WordPress 2.5 code base; nevertheless, Otto managed to come up with good gift ideas for her. Otto is capable of thinking outside the box. Glo and Flo aren’t. It seriously makes me worry that if they do hand in blog entries, they’re going to suck.
After the Majestic party, I went with Glo and Flo to Itta Bena. There was a girl in a tube top at the end of the bar. Itta Bena draws such a lovely crowd. After that we moved to the Saucer, where Glo and Flo disappeared, and I found new people to hang out with and continued on to the Rooster. Hung out there for about an hour, then went to (Glo and Flo are going to love this) Big Foot. (No, Glo and Flo, it was not to see my BFF. She wasn’t even working. Other people I was with wanted to go there.) Came within about 15 minutes of closing Big Foot.
Thanks to the combination of Mountain Dew and Claritin-D, which is a mixture that affects the human body much in the same way crack does, I’m surprisingly alert at work today. Learned that some of our vice-presidents read my blog and are excited about being able to get Soul Burgers for lunch. However, a South Main resident who reads the blog writes that the lunchtime Soul Burgers may only last for the duration of the Home Tour that’s going on in the area.
Time to run home and take a shower. Got up too late to have time to do it before work.