Last night was Big Foot’s 3rd birthday party, and I have to say, this was possibly the best party Big Foot has ever thrown, only rivaled by Halloween ’06.
My BFF Suzy was absolutely ROCKING a tube top last night. She’s pictured above with Shawn.
Several candidates for BFF of the Month for July, AKA BFF 3.0, were in attendance. Let’s have a look at the contenders:
Melissa: As you can see, Melis’ enjoys teaching children the names of the parts of the body, as is evidenced by the word “TITS” written on a piece of tape on her chest. You can’t see it in this picture, but she had pieces of tape reading “HAIR,” “ELBOW,” and “FOOT” elsewhere on her. She also believes in helping those less fortunate. She brought a bum in off the street and invited him to pose with her for the picture above.
Melis’ has three huge advantages in the race to be BFF of the Month for July. The third is that she is endorsed by current BFF Suzy. We were discussing last night whether she’d be BFF 2.5 or BFF 3.0 if she wins. Since she has Suzy’s blessing, it seems that she should be 2.5 since it wouldn’t be a complete overhaul (as opposed to when Suzy became BFF 2.0, and definitely did NOT have BFF 1.0’s endorsement).
Stephanie: (far left in picture above) Stephanie was a runner-up for BFF of the Month for June, and is a strong contender for July. Stephanie owns more tube tops and tube top dresses than anyone I’ve ever seen. As you can see, she also introduces me to lots of cute girls. She’s looking for a new mode of transportation from her home on Mud Island to her job at the CCC. I recommended she buy one of those motorized beer coolers and ride it to work. How Downtown would that be? If she takes me up on that suggestion I’ll just about have to appoint her the July BFF.
Meghan: Meghan was, of course, BFF 1.0 before she got kicked to the curb at the beginning of May. She’s trying to regain BFF status. I’d say she’s trying to become the Grover Cleveland of BFFs, but I doubt she knows who Grover Cleveland was.
I had several people tell me last night, “Paul, PLEASE stop being mean to Meghan.” (Although, they also admitted they enjoyed the soap opera that this blog has become.) The thing is, I don’t WANT to be mean to Meghan. I don’t hate the girl. She actually has a lot of very unique and interesting qualities that I appreciate. I would love to give her a genuine, heartfelt hug and make up. But here’s the thing – if I tried she’d go, “You want me to actually TOUCH you, Paul? That’s kinda creepy.” How can I be friends with someone who plays a character 100% of the time she’s around me? I’ve invited her to hang out in the past, but my invitations have been rebuffed (sitting at the bar at Big Foot when she’s not working doesn’t count). I don’t want to be mean to her, but all evidence suggests that being nice doesn’t work. Being mean to her and seeing how upset it makes her is the only way I can get her to reveal that she cares.
Three candidates, two weeks left to go. Will my July BFF be one of the three pictured above, or will someone else come out of nowhere to claim the title? Time will tell.
Let’s see what else we’ve got on the camera from last night…
Here’s the Nuh-Uh Girl coming back from the buffet with FIVE plates of food. And I’ve been told this was only the first of four trips she made to the buffet.
Kacy and Meredith, two frequent flyers on this blog during Tube Top Month. Attn Kacy: We’ve got to get together and plan TubeTopalooza. Time is running out.
A Saucer girl takes a break from work (not that this particular girl does much resembling “work” when she’s at the Saucer) to visit her friend Meghan at Big Foot’s bar.
Complete photo album (39 pics) here: Big Foot Lodge 3rd birthday
I still have the McGuinness photo album to put up, but it’s much larger (over 100 photos) and is still being worked on.