Wikipedia has gained fame over the past few years as the encyclopedia that anyone can edit. If you’re browsing a Wikipedia page and you spot what you believe to be a factual inaccuracy, you can set up an account, log in and fix it.
Downtowner Mike King did just that recently, editing the Wikipedia article on The Seven Wonders of the World to add Calhoun’s Sports Bar on G.E. Patterson to the list. King, who has previously claimed that the beer at Calhoun’s can whiten your teeth, remove wrinkles from your skin, and raise your IQ by 18 to 23 points, was stunned to find that the bar had been omitted from the list of the Seven Wonders of the World.
“I’m sure the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were nice,” King said, “But did they have 5 flat-panel TVs where you can watch the Tiger games? No. And while the Lighthouse of Alexandria may have held some importance to the Hellenistic Egyptians, you couldn’t get a PBR there for a buck-fifty.” King also pointed out that consumption of Calhoun’s lunchroom pizza makes your feces smell like lilacs for 2 to 3 days following, and that President Woodrow Wilson signed the Treaty of Versailles ending World War I at Calhoun’s.
King expects that the inclusion of Calhoun’s on the list will spark a renewed interest in the Seven Wonders. He predicts that tourism to the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt will rise 30% next year, given the added prestige of being included on the list with Calhoun’s. “I wouldn’t be suprised if the people who maintain the Great Pyramid start handing out magic markers and inviting people to write on the pyramid,” he commented, noting that Calhoun’s provides markers for its patrons to write on the bar.
King’s next project is to try and convince the Food Network to do a 5-hour special on Calhoun’s Cheesy Potato Bites, a dish that would “surely put Wolfgang Puck out of business if only the world knew about it.”