You can’t win ’em all – and if you’re Memphis, you can’t win any of ’em, unless you play FCS schools

The Memphis Tigers absolutely proved yesterday why they should drop to FCS/Division I-AA in football. They were shut out by SMU 42-0. The only time they ever got near scoring, they managed to find a way to turn it over on downs on 4th and goal.

I got to the Saucer to watch the game about midway through the first quarter, and was just stunned by how bad the Tigers were. The game was nearly unwatchable. To take my mind off it, I ordered food. I went with one of the new menu items I had not yet tried, the hummus.

Let me see if I can describe the hummus in only one sentence.

The wings at the Saucer was very flavorable, and the hummus was decent, meaning it was average in taste, as compared to other restaurants where I get this dish, like the Amoco Food Mart on Poplar (although, my personal preference is dishes with meat in them, so people who eat a lot of hummus may feel differently).

Yes, I know “flavorable” is not a word, unlike some bloggers.

Seriously, though, the hummus was OK. If you’re at the Saucer already, and you’re in the mood for hummus, it’s perfectly acceptable. If I were going somewhere Downtown specifically to get hummus, though, I’d probably hit South of Beale instead.

My Arkansas Razorbacks shirt was not too popular with the day staff at the Saucer. Christina in particular was not pleased when she asked what other teams I pull for, and I replied “whoever’s playing Tennessee.”

About 1:30 I headed south to Max’s Sports Bar. I grabbed a seat at one of the tables and watched the rest of the horrendous Memphis game. I’ve absolutely had it. If one or both of R.C. Johnson/Larry Porter is not fired this week, I’m going to consider rooting against the Tigers for the rest of the season. Sports writer Dan Wolken tweeted that Larry Porter may be the worst head coach in the entire history of Division I-A, and I can’t see a reason to disagree.

With that fiasco over, it was time to turn attention to the Arkansas-Alabama game, and a bet my friends made last year. My friends Stevie G and Zane bet on the Arkansas-LSU game last November. The Hogs won, which meant that at some point this year, Zane had to put on Stevie G’s classic 1978-model Hog Hat for a quarter of a Razorbacks game. Yesterday, Zane fulfilled his agreement.

The Hog Hat didn’t do much good, though, as Arkansas fell to Bama 38-14. It was hard to tell, but I hope the game was a sign that Bama is that damn good, not that Arkansas is that damn bad. We’ll find out next week when the Hogs play Texas A&M in Dallas. There were a lot of disappointed Razorback fans at the bar, but Bama fan Moody was quite happy.

Major props to bartender Lauren. The place was packed all afternoon and she was both bartender and server, yet rarely did anyone have an empty glass.

About 7:00 I rode the trolley north, changed, and went to the Brass Door’s alley party. There was a $5 cover to get in, which I was happy to pay. The Brass Door did a couple of things at their alley party that I thought were particularly good moves. One was reasonably priced food. They were grilling out, and were selling $3 burgers and $4 Irish bangers. Some outdoor festivals jack their food prices up so high that you feel like you’re eating at the Memphis airport. This one didn’t. I had an Irish banger with grilled caramelized onions on a bun, and it was delicious.

The other really good move they made was booking WALRUS as the 9 PM band. WALRUS has a dedicated following around town, and with them on the bill a lot of people were guaranteed to show up, even if some of them previously had no idea what the Brass Door was. Booking them at the time when the most people would be out basically guaranteed the alley party would be a success. The Candy Company, who played before WALRUS, was quite good too. I hate it that I didn’t make it to see Irish band Big Betsy who closed the party, especially since some of my college classmates play in the band. I hope I get to catch them at a show in The Cavern sometime soon.

Now we move on to the second half of the weekend, Sunday Fun Day. Normally I start at the Majestic, but I drink mimosas there. After the long day yesterday, I can’t see myself starting with anything stronger than beer. So I think I’m going to take the week off from the Majestic. Probably my running order will be Saucer, then (weather permitting) head south to Max’s Sports Bar about 3 to see Whitney at her new job. That’ll be four days in a row at Max’s for me, for the first time in a while.

Since the Saucer doesn’t open until 12, I have nowhere to be for the next two hours and thirty minutes. Think I’ll treat myself to a nap. Happy Sunday Fun Day and try to stay dry!