I left Blind Bear about 2:45 this morning. That’s a few hours later than I usually stay out, but I temporarily don’t have Bardog to go to in the morning. So I figured, why not?
As I walked north, a woman in a sports car driving illegally on the Main Street Mall shouted out to me. “Hey babey,” she said. “You so fine. Where you be staying at? You look you need some pussy.”
I kept walking. She parked the car on Gayoso and came running after me. She was clearly a hooker. She started hugging me and grabbing my butt, and seemed to be exploring what pocket my wallet was in. “Don’t you want to go have a good time, babey?”
Did she think I was born yesterday?
Did she really think I didn’t know her male accomplice was waiting with a gun on Gayoso?
I moved to the middle of the well-lit Main Street Mall and said, “NO. STOP GRABBING ME. I’M NOT INTERESTED” loud enough to wake up the residents in the nearby Flats apartments. She realized it was game over and scurried away. I made it home safe and sound and you better believe I kept my eyes wide open.
They come out of the woodwork around this time every year. They prey on people in town for the Liberty Bowl as well as people who go out on Amateur Night (New Year’s Eve). I had my Arkansas sweatshirt on which made me easily mistakable for a tourist.
Be careful out there everyone. If an offer seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Those of you who I’ve warned about parking on Gayoso, now do you understand a little better?
Check back, I’m gonna get a Tuesday news post up sometime before 3 PM.