Note: Dammit. There were supposed to be pics with this post – really good pics – but WordPress is giving me a JSON error when I upload them.
I shouldn’t even be typing this post right now. I should be at Bardog on what is an effective holiday. But they had a ceiling issue. That leaves me no place to hang out until Blind Bear opens at 3. 
Bardog hopes, last I heard, to reopen tomorrow.
Saturday afternoon I met my friends Randy and Theresa and Butt Slut #1 at Blind Bear. We had a few drinks then R and T and I headed out to Eads where I spent Christmas Eve night.
I wish I could upload a pic of their upstairs bar. It is fabulous. I call it the happiest place in the world. Plenty of spirits and a refrigerator and a big TV and a kick-ass sound system. There’s an adjoining bedroom and bathroom so it’s like I have my own little apartment out there. They have two adorable papillons, Zorro and Bella. Zorro sticks his tongue out more than anyone I’ve ever met (except Butt Slut #1) and looks like Gene Simmons. Bella hates me. Zorro can’t get up the stairs. Then again, I barely can myself.
I slept until about 8 (which for me is late) then started doing the favor of relieving Randy and Theresa’s bar of excess alcohol. I had some Cathead vodka and Monaco cocktails (the blue cans taste like Mountain Dew) and a couple of PBRs. About noon R and T put apps out – shrimp and sausage and 3 kinds of cheese. We hung out at the upstairs bar and watched TV.
Then Randy got a text. “The girls are bringing someone,” he told me. “They say it’s a boy but not an ex.” Oh Lord. I was preparing for a “look what the cat dragged in” situation. You never know with those two.
About 1:40 we heard female voices downstairs. It was Dani and Butt Slut #1 and… Mark who just started bartending at Ben-Yay’s and Blind Bear. One of the gentlest and kindest people I have ever met. I was THRILLED that I’d get to hang out with him for Christmas!
The girls started devouring the apps. It’s the most I’ve ever seen Butt Slut #1 eat, which is not much. I’d guess her at maybe 5’6 1/2″ and 116. Later in the day she made me re-take a pic because she thought she looked fat. Women.
Randy and I were going to put on my disco mix, but we couldn’t find the tracks we wanted, so we let the girls choose. OMG Nineties babies have such horrible taste in music. Love you guys but it’s true.
About 2:30 dinner was served. Delicious beef tenderloin was the main course. For sides we had rolls, green bean casserole (my favorite!), corn casserole, sweet potatoes, and stuffing (R and T are Northerners so we had stuffing, not dressing). Butt Slut #1 requested scalloped potatoes with Boursin cheese. She’s a pain in the ass and a Cowboys fan (sorry to be redundant) but she did used to date a chef so she has pretty fabulous taste in food.
Randy and Theresa had presents for me: A book and a pullover shirt and, most importantly, a Bardog gift card.
So, for years I have been Downtown’s champion chair dancer. What’s that you ask? Someone who dances on a bar seat (or any seat) without their feet touching the floor. After dinner I was sitting in R and T’s living room and I looked over and saw Butt Slut #1 shimmying to some of that horrible crap music she and Dani put on.
And I realized I’d lost my title.
I told her we’d do a dance-off sometime but realistically, it won’t even be close. I have passed the torch.
Here’s the conundrum: I tell people Butt Slut #1 is one of the goofiest people I know. But the more I hang out with her, the more I realize how similar our personalities are. So what does that say about me?
We had an Ole Smoky moonshine sampling: white chocolate strawberry, blackberry & apple (known as blapple at the Blind Bear), butter pecan, and Shine Nog. Damn the butter pecan was really good. Jeannette can we get that?
We also had some Jameson Triple Triple. Really good. I bet that’d pair really well with a Triple Triple cheeseburger from Dyer’s.
The girls drove me back Downtown to the Bear, where Butt Slut #1 said
Fuck this Bear life.
I’m living my butt life.
Gotta give her credit. She owns her persona.
There’s a movie called A Man Called Otto out. A lot of us Downtowners have been watching that movie for years.
Wrestling fans: Peacock has a new documentary: Becoming Ric Flair. Can’t wait to tune in.
Hey Adam, I finally took your suggestion of opening links in a new tab.
Ja Morant unveiled his new Nike shoe yesterday.
MLGW has issued a boil water notice.
Mannheim Steamroller rolls into the Orpheum Thursday.
A Winter Weather Advisory is in effect for Memphis.
All right. That’s it for now. I’ll try to do better about posting this week.