About 7:30 last night, I was sitting at the bar at Blind Bear, having a perfectly good time watching whatever college bowl games were on.
Then Butt Slut #1 came in and took the seat next to me. She asked the bartender to turn the TV to the Thursday night NFL game that was on. Dallas vs. somebody. I can’t remember who because I simply don’t care about the NFL.
“Do we really have to watch your stupid Cowgirls?” I asked.
That earned me a backhanded chop to the chest that was so hard, it would have made Ric Flair proud.
For the next hour, I struggled not to fall asleep at the bar as the ‘girls ran up and down the field. I was SO bored. Finally, I could take no more of it.
“Hey, butt slut,” I said. (Yes, I actually call her that to her face.) “Can we put ANYTHING else on? Like some cartoons? Some Bugs Bunny?” Bugs was my fav when I was a little kid.
“Bugs Bunny can suck my butthole,” she replied.
OMG she’s such a lady.
So, I normally don’t go out on New Year’s Eve. It’s totally fucking Amateur Night. All the yahoos from other parts of town who don’t go out on a regular basis come out and try WAY TOO HARD. The night rarely lives up to the expectations on NYE. I was gonna stay home and find something to binge-watch. on Peacock+.
But then Jeannette from Blind Bear texted and made it clear she wanted me at her bar’s party.
And it’s nice to be wanted. It’s nice to be loved. And I know that there, I’ll be among family.
Feel free to join me there. Here are the details, pasted from FB:
James & The Ultrasounds 9:30pm-Midnight
Velvetina’s Speakeasy Burlesque 10pm-Midnight
Dj Taz Midnight-3amDinner Specials 6pm-11pm
(Not a course set menu, just special and exciting Apps, Soups, Salads, Entrees & Desserts) Champagne Specials
Hibernation Menu 11pm-2:30amParty hats & favors included
Resy.com for dinner reservations before 9pm, Resy.com Event available after 9pm
Thanks Jeannette so much for reaching out. As a token of appreciation, I will do the unthinkable and root for your Vols in the Orange Bowl tonight. Clemson is not a hard team to hate, especially if you know some of the people I know.
Also, Jeannette, you just turned your Fedoras, Feathers, & Furs party into a Fedoras, Feathers, Furs, PBR Hoodie, & Shorts party. I don’t dress up for stupid contrived holidays. Although, maybe I’ll meet you halfway and wear a fedora.
Favor to ask my friends who are going to the Bear party: Do not let me get drunk. ESPECIALLY DO NOT LET ME TAKE SHOTS WITH YOU. Because if I’m hammered enough I might try to give Butt Slut #1 a quick peck on the lips at midnight. I don’t want to be the subject of gossip on NYD. I’ve already been the subject of gossip once this week.
One other thing: I DO NOT WEAR PARTY HATS. Nobody better try to put one on me.
Good basketball night last night. The Tigers took care of USF 93-86. The Grizzlies picked up a road win in Toronto 119-106. Sure wish we’d had one of those games on instead of the Dallas Cowgirls.
The Grizz are now 3rd in the West, 1 game back of New Orleans and Denver.
Today is Bacon Day.
The boil water advisory has been lifted.
Six years of the Trumpster’s tax returns have been released.
Sad to hear Chef Tam’s warehouse suffered $90,000 in water damage. Prayers for her and her restaurant team.
Water main ruptures are affecting Memphis hotels during Liberty Bowl week. Not good.
The New Daisy, which used to be one of Memphis’ premier concert venues, will reopen next year.
That’s it. Back tomorrow.