Saturday update

Penny Hardway hauled in a big catch for the class of ’19 this morning.

Don’t forget that RiverArtsFest stays open until 9 tonight, and admission is free after 5. The lighting of the I-40 bridge will happen around 6:30.

Out at Tiger Lane, it’s BurgerFest today. The successor to Best Memphis Burger Fest and under new ownership, there won’t be a cooking competition this year. However, there will be six different burgers for you to sample, the creations of Chef Tam of Chef Tam’s Underground Cafe.

Catherine & Mary’s has positions open:

Indiana Pacers star Thaddeus Young has bought an $850,000  condo in The Artesian on Riverside Drive. The MBJ has a photo gallery of the condo.

Pontotoc Lounge posted its fall/winter menu yesterday:

The Shelby County Criminal Justice Center, widely known for its address 201 Poplar or just “201,” has a new name. It has been named after former county commissioner Walter L. Bailey, Jr.

That’s it for now! Y’all have a wonderful Saturday.

Friday update

I found the most useful app yesterday. Wednesday I made a trip to Kroger to load up on some frozen dinners. Yesterday I pulled one out of the freezer and looked at the heating directions – and discovered that sometime in the past few years, my eyes lost the ability to read words in a white 3-point font printed on a gray box. After several minutes of holding the box this way and that, I decided that the instructions probably said to heat the dinner between 4:30 and 5:00 on High. Based on the done-ness of my dinner, I seemed to have guessed correctly.

Later in the day, I was thinking, I’ll have the same trouble with the other dinners. Then I thought, wait a minute, I wonder if there’s a phone app for that? Sure enough, I found one called Magnifying Glass with Light (iPhone) (Android). It works beautifully. It blows text up to several time its original size on your phone screen, and even better, if you have trouble reading in dim light, it turns on your phone’s flash for you. I have already found several uses for this app and recommend it highly for those who need a little help seeing instructions on boxes and bottles. The app is also going to make it easier for me to read the Memphis Flyer in dimly lit bars. I could’ve used that app when filling out paperwork to provisionally vote too (although I wonder if they would’ve let me have my phone out).

The final Memphis Farmers Market of the regular season happens tomorrow from 8 AM to 1 PM under the pavilion at Front and G.E. Patterson. There will be live local music all day. A special holiday edition of the Market will return to the pavilion 9 AM-1 PM December 8.

My friends Dennis and Mary Pat, who this month vowed to make the trek to Mt. Everest Base Camp to raise money for the kids of St. Jude, sent me a photo this morning. They made it!

The Downtown Vision Awards, originally scheduled for early this month, will be held tonight at 409 S. Main. There will be a welcome reception at 4 PM with a DJ, food, and drinks. At 5:15 the awards ceremony will begin with addresses by Mayor Harris and Mayor Strickland, along with special presenters Ekundayo Bandele, Rosalyn Willis, Joann Massey, Ray Brown, Teresa Sloyan, and Trey Moore.

The Uptown Chili Cookoff happens at Treedom Memphis, Second at A.W. Willis, from 3-5 Sunday. Come bring your pot of chili and have it judged by Memphis celebrities. The event will also celebrate the grand opening of Uptown barber shop Upscale Kutz.

Ghost River has announced the book to be discussed at the November meeting of its Get Lit Book Club. On November 15 from 7:00-8:30, in conjunction with Novel Memphis, the discussion topic will be Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. Nice to see a brewery running a successful book club!

In other Ghost River news, Cupcakes and Craft Beer returns to the Ghost River taproom on Thursday, November 15. The event will start off with three savory cupcakes by Two Girls and a Whip. “Think turkey and dressing with cranberry drizzle, sweet potato cakes, ham, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole and all the Thanksgiving trappings – in cupcake form!” Those three and a sweet cupcake will be expertly paired with beers by Ghost River brewmasters. $32 and reservations must be made in advance. Call 901-472-CAKE to reserve your spot.

Come see the Triple-A National Championship Trophy, won by the Memphis Redbirds last month, on the Sell901 Trophy Tour:

Downtown stops will include

  • Tomorrow, Race for the Cure at AutoZone Park
  • November 1, food truck rodeo at Court Square
  • November 16, FedExForum, Grizzlies vs. Kings (before game and end of third quarter)
  • November 29-30, St. Jude Marathon Expo, Cook Convention Center

The Grizzlies have announced that Grammy award-nominated artist Jonathan McReynolds will perform a concert on Gospel Night February 22, following the Grizz’ game against the Los Angeles Clippers.

Wiseacre will hold a Women, Witches, and Beer Tour tomorrow at 6 PM. Learn about the history of brewing and how the first images of witches are involved. Tour will include beer samples paired with Halloween candy. There will also be Women in Beer trivia with some special prizes. Tour cost is $15 and space is limited, so sign up in advance.

Memphis in May posted this image of the first BBQ Fest, held in a parking lot 40 years ago.

For those of you awaiting the Tiger Woods vs. Phil Mickelson $9 million winner-takes-all heads-up game, it will happen Friday, November 23 (day after Thanksgiving) at 2 PM at Shadow Creek Golf Course in Las Vegas. No tickets will be sold and it is expected to be on pay-per-view for $19.99. I’m not normally a golf fan, but if someone wants to invite me over that afternoon, I’d enjoy watching the match.

The CA printed an editorial yesterday saying Washington needs another Tennessee moderate, someone along the lines of Howard Baker, Jim Sasser, and Lamar Alexander in the Senate. I would agree. That kind of leader, rather than a hard-core liberal or conservative, would be able to get the most done for the people of Tennessee.

USA Today has a list of the most popular Halloween candy in every state. Wow, some states have really good taste in candy, others really bad. Just for kicks yesterday, I made a list. If I came trick-or-treating at your door, these are the candies I’d be most happy to see go into my bag:

Milky Way
Atomic Fire Balls
York peppermint patties/Junior Mints/anything chocolate mint
Kit Kat
Twix
Anything white chocolate
Dove milk chocolate
Hershey’s milk chocolate minis/Kisses
Air Heads
Bottle Caps
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups/Pieces
M$Ms Peanut Butter
Mounds
Snickers
Suckers, particularly cherry, lime, lemon or orange (no apple or watermelon)
Fun Dip
3 Musketeers
Life Savers
Skittles
M&Ms Plain
Peppermints (soft, cylinder shaped preferred over hard, circular shaped)

And these are the offerings I would NOT want to see:

Toothpaste, dental floss, anything “sensible” (people who hand these out deserve to have their houses egged)
Candy corn
Organic, fruit-based candy bought at a health-food store (this is why you skip vegans’ houses when you trick or treat)
Jolly Ranchers
Dark chocolate anything
Candy bars like Baby Ruth that are heavy in nuts
Apple anything (Apple FLAVORED anything. If you hand me an iPad I’ll take it)

Of course, these are just personal preferences. To each their own.

Now that you know my candy preferences, I’ll wrap it up for today. Going to inflate my bike tires and take a ride for the first time in several years. Back tomorrow with more news.

Thursday update

Going to make this a very quick post this morning. Maintenance is coming around to change air filters, check water heaters, change smoke detector batteries, etc. I prefer not to be home when they do that stuff, so I’m going to post with a quickness and then evacuate to the Monroe Avenue Branch Office. My original plan of a deep fried cornish hen from Flying Sobies at the Court Square food truck rodeo will have to be postponed for a week due to the rain.

The city has announced road closures for RiverArtsFest this weekend involving Riverside Drive and several cross streets. If you take Riverside north of Union to/from work, plan an alternative route for Friday.

Penny Hardaway’s Memphis Tigers take the court at FedExForum tonight at 7 for an exhibition game versus the LeMoyne-Owen Magicians. Buy tickets here. (Weird that FedExForum does not have the game listed on its website.) Kudos to Coach Penny on continuing the tradition of scheduling this fine Memphis school. LeMoyne-Owen gets a $20,000 appearance fee for the game, which is a boost for their athletic department.

FedEx is interested in moving one of its divisions, FedEx Trade Networks, into the Gibson Guitar Factory space Downtown. That would be a big economic impact on the area, in terms of employees frequenting nearby businesses as well as employees relocating Downtown to be close to work.

The Downtown Memphis Commission is sponsoring free, 60-minute unlimited rides on Explore Bike Share this weekend. Sign up here.

Multi-Grammy winner Maxwell plays the Orpheum tonight.

Dale Watson plays the Pure Memphis Music series tonight at Old Dominick Distillery. Doors at 6:30, show at 7:30. $5 of every ticket goes to nonprofit partner Beale Street Caravan.

Over in Midtown tonight, Marilyn Manson plays Minglewood Hall.

The Belz Museum in Pembroke Square will open at 10 AM rather than its normal time of noon Saturday, for those who want to visit it after running Race for the Cure.

This meme could very well apply to me and my writing style:

Fall on Beale, featuring Walker Hayes with special guest Dylan Schneider, has been moved to Tin Roof this evening due to threat of rain. This is a free show with music starting at 7:30.

That’ll do it! Time to brave the rain for a walk to the branch office.

Wednesday update

Early voting has begun in Shelby County, and it goes on until November 1. If you’ve never early voted before, the process can be confusing… but it’s actually easier and quicker than voting on Election Day. Bill Dries of the Daily Memphian has an article entitled Ballot Basics: Early Voting.

Memphis Grrizzlies’ G-League team the Memphis Hustle will have Family Fun Day at the Landers Center in Southaven this Sunday at 2 PM. Meet the team and watch them scrimmage. The Grizzlies entertainment teams will be there as well

In other Hustle news, here’s their 2018-19 schedule:

The annual Memphis Holiday Parade has been announced for Saturday, December 1, on Beale Street at 4 PM. Of course I WILL BE THERE watching the parade outside the King’s Palace Tap Room as I have for years. That will be a busy day, with the St. Jude marathon in the morning, the Tigers hosting Texas Tech at 1:30, the holiday parade, the SEC Championship on TV, and Stumbling Santa. I haven’t seen the official announcement for Stumbling Santa yet but it traditionally happens the first Saturday of December.

South Main Sounds will host its 100th Songwriter Showcase this Friday, October 26, at 7 PM. Performers will include Bailey Bigger, Amber Rae Dunn, Vanessa Winter, Paul Jewell, Rodrick Duran, Tim Plunk, and Bud Summers.

The Blind Bear has announced its Halloween party this Saturday, October 27. Shot specials, costume contest with the winner decided at 1 AM (must be present to win), Blues Masters featuring Queen Ann Hines take the stage at 10. There will be a photographer on hand to capture Halloween moments.

Belle Tavern will open at 8 AM this Saturday. With Race for the Cure beginning at 9, Belle will provide a safe place where you can drop your belongings and they will be watched while you run.

Memphis City FC, the pro soccer team that will begin play at AutoZone Park next year, has announced its first three signings.

New show added to the Halloran Centre calendar:

The guy who randomly blocks me and unblocks me did it again this week. I would love to know what he gets out of doing that.

Man, the Daily Memphian is so good. I had a great time reading sports writer Chris Herrington’s responses to his mailbag this morning. If any of my readers are on the fence about subscribing, I have found it to be absolutely worth the $7 a month fee. Besides, when you subscribe you get a month for free, so if you find it to not be worth it you can always cancel before the end of your first month.

All right, time to do a little grocery shopping. Back tomorrow with more news.

Tuesday update

One of Memphis’ biggest races of the year happens Downtown this Saturday. The Susan G. Komen Memphis Race for the Cure happens at AutoZone Park, with the goal of raising $750,000 to fight breast cancer. Those of you who have to drive Downtown Saturday morning, make note of the race map and be sure to allow extra time.

The musical Waitress comes to the Orpheum January 15-20, and they are looking for two local young girls to perform the role of Lulu during the Memphis run of the show. Auditions will happen November 2 at the Halloran Centre, Click the link to sign up. This could be a huge break for two young ladies with an interest in theater. Think how performances on one of the South’s grandest stages would look on a college admissions application!

Got news on a couple different job openings today. Moriah House is seeking a counselor. If you are a lady who has a heart for ministering to other women and helping them rebuild their lives, this could be the job for you.

I saw on Facebook yesterday that B.B. King’s club on Beale is seeking Operations Managers.

The Brooks Museum plans to move Downtown, atop the river bluff at the corner of Front and Union. The competition to design the new museum has drawn a response from all over the world, with architectural firms from the United States, Europe, Canada, and Asia submitting designs.

Richard Wilson plays original soulful blues and gospel at the Brass Door this Friday night, October 26, from 7 to 10.

Another new electric vehicle has hit the streets of Downtown Memphis, although this one is not a ride-sharing concept. Meet the Moke.

There will be a Downtown Master Plan launch party at Loflin Yard on November 8, 5:30-7:30 PM. The DMC wants to hear from you because YOU are the expert – tell them what you want to see in Downtown’s future. This is a ticketed event but it is free, and your RSVP gets you a drink ticket, as well as a chance to win either Grizzlies tickets or tickets to The Evolution of Cocktails on December 22.

Memphis historian Jimmy Ogle, famous for being the Peabody Duckmaster and for his tours of Downtown, gets his note on Beale Street on November 2.

And speaking of Peabody Duckmasters:

The last Hot Rods on Beale of the year happens tonight from 6 to 10.

Last night I returned to the Silly Goose for the second week of poker with the River Rat Rounders.

I won some hands here and there, but Lady Luck was not sending me the hands I wanted. I got a lot of face card-low card combinations like K-7 and J-2. Novice players think those are good hands, but they’re actually hands that get you into trouble. Often you will pair the face card and then find that your kicker is no good.

Still, I fought on as long as I could. In what was a very weird pot, I was in the big blind. Two players called and, with a crappy Ten high, I decided to see the flop for free. Everybody checked the flop, turn, and river, and my Ten high turned out to be the best hand. Everyone missed the board entirely. I think that may be the worst hand with which I have ever won a pot.

The kicker trouble I described above got the best of me, and I was the last one eliminated before the final table. Still, though, when you look back at a poker game, the question is not “Did I win?” but “Am I satisfied with the way I played?” I was. Sometimes you just don’t get the cards.

I continue to be impressed with the way the River Rats run the games. We had a new player last night, and he was truly new to the game – he didn’t know what hands beat what, or what a “check” is. I really appreciated the way Teresa and Tucker took him under his wing and made him feel welcome. We were all newcomers to the game at some point in our lives.

My troll had trouble standing on the felt overlays again this week, and so I lay her down in the chip holder in front of me.

I never noticed what dirty feet she has! And to think, I’ve been standing her on plates next to my food. I am going to have to wash my troll before I go out today.

That’s it for now. Going to grab a sandwich from Lisa’s Lunchbox here in a minute. Back tomorrow with more news.

Monday update

One of Downtown Memphis’ best festivals of the year is coming up this weekend, and this time around it’s getting even better. RiverArtsFest moves to the river this Saturday and Sunday. There are two reasons for the move. First of all, construction on Central Station has closed part of South Main, making the former festival location unavailable. However, secondly and on a happier note, holding RiverArtsFest on Riverside Drive will allow attendees to witness the grand lighting of Mighty Lights illuminating the I-40 bridge. Daniel Bastardo, guest-posting for the I Love Memphis Blog, has an idea of what to expect.

The 409 S. Main food hall is getting a new tenant. In November, Wok’n In Memphis will open a permanent location at 409. The pop-up, traveling restaurant has been seen at several locations around Memphis, and now you’ll be able to get Wok’n food every day except Monday when the food hall is closed. On Saturday and Sunday they will have a brunch.

Keb Mo’ and Kirk Whalum will perform at a free benefit concert for Phil Bredesen tonight at the Orpheum. The Tennessee gubernatorial candidate will be there. Note that you must have a ticket (free and available at Will Call when you fill out an online form) to get in.

Haunted South Main Trolley Night happens this Friday. The shops and galleries of the South Main Arts District will stay open late for your shopping and socializing convenience. Wear your Halloween costume. The SMA will have a member area between Primas Bakery and The Peddler Bike Shop, and members will enjoy free food, beverages, and sweet treats from Primas. Not a member? Sign up on site to receive your SMA member card, good for discounts at over a dozen area businesses. There will be a costume contest at The Vault on G.E. Patterson and more spooky fun to be announced.

Dates have been announced for the Jon K. Thompson world-class tours of Memphis International Airport. These tours start with a continental breakfast. Next up are presentations on airport finances, current state, and plans to expand. Then the real fun begins with tours of the airfield, the FedEx World Hub, and the Tennessee Air National Guard site.

Club 152 & The Shadows will have their annual Halloween party on 2 floors this Saturday, October 27. Wear a costume to beat cover, and there will be a costume contest with cash prizes as well as Grizzlies tickets. $3 Fireball and there will also be specials on Wheatley Vodka and Buffalo Trace.

Next time you’re at Max’s Sports Bar, try their fall slush, Bourbon Apple Cider.

Beer lovers, save the date – Memphis Made Brewing Co. will once again be throwing its Malted festival on Saturday, November 10, to celebrate the brewery’s 5th birthday. Bands TBA and they always have a great lineup of special beers for this event.

There will be a cornbread festival over in Little Rock this Saturday.

Terrace at the River Inn has announced its Thanksgiving lunch menu.

That’s it for this Monday. Back tomorrow.

Saturday update: Lime scooters invade Downtown, Paul’s Picks for Downtown Dining Week, more

Hey, whoever is doing building construction on Main between Madison and Union – is it REALLY necessary to start hammering at 5:30 on a Saturday morning? It wasn’t loud enough to wake me up, but once I woke up naturally it was loud enough that I couldn’t get back to sleep.

Update on the Downtown Neighborhood Association meeting set for Tuesday the 23rd, with a panel of blues musicians and experts. There is now a venue for this meeting, and it is Pontotoc Lounge at 314 S. Main.

A new scooter company has invaded the streets of Downtown Memphis.

Lime scooters have joined Bird scooters here, but they did not receive the warm welcome from the city that the Birds did.

Like the Birds, Limes cost $1 plus 15 cents a minute to ride. Read more about the situation with the Limes at the MBJ.

If you like to collect pint glasses from great local breweries, get thee to the Flying Saucer next Wednesday, October 24 at 7 PM. The featured glass will be Memphis Made Brewing Co. Memphis Made on several taps and the brewers will be there to talk about beer.

The Memphis Express, Memphis’ new pro football team that will be competing in the Alliance for American Football, has chosen a Downtown Memphis address for its headquarters. They’ll rent part of the third floor of the 88 Union building. The Express’ season kicks off February 9 at the Liberty Bowl.

OKC-based nine-piece rock band Matthew Stansberry & the Romance plays the Halloran Centre tonight at 7:30.

Next door at the Orpheum, multi-platinum Irish group Celtic Thunder takes the stage this evening. The band is known for authentic Irish instruments, as well as dramatic effects through lighting and choreography.

There was a convention of dog trainers at the Cook Convention Center this week.

Miss Cordelia’s Grocery is now Cordelia’s Market with a new look, new selections, and lower prices. Don’t forget that their fall festival is noon to 6 today.

The Downtown Memphis Commission has rescheduled its Vision Awards, along with a revised program that will honor Phil Trenary.

With over 50 vendors, the Beale Street Art Crawl happens today.

Cirque de la Symphonie comes to the Cannon Center tonight, performing scores from your favorite movies.

The Mid-South Great Steak Cook-Off happens over at Southland today. I hear this is a good place to get samples.

There was no winning ticket in Mega Millions last night, inflating the jackpot to $1.6 billion.

About half the participating restaurant menus have now been posted for Downtown Dining Week, and I want to do my first round of “Paul’s Picks” for the best menus and values. Why do I do this? 40 menus are a lot to dig through. I want to help my readers weed out the places that have DDW menus like this:

DOWNTOWN DINING WEEK SPECIAL MENU
MINIMAL EFFORT CAFE
November 5-11, 2018

FIRST COURSE: Your choice of
Our Cheapest Soup
Our Cheapest Salad

SECOND COURSE: Your choice of
Uninteresting Chicken Dish
Unimaginative Fish Dish

FINAL COURSE
Dessert that Would Be Edible if it Wasn’t Frozen Solid

This three-course dinner, about a $15 value, yours for the low price of $20.18

Do not fret, however. There are plenty of Downtown Dining Week restaurants that don’t just go through the motions. They put their best foot (and best food) forward, knowing people who might not otherwise come through the door will go there for DDW. It’s an opportunity to convert one-timers (or zero-timers, if not for DDW) into happy, regular customers who tell others about the restaurant. Of the menus that have been posted so far, these are among the best I’ve seen.

Automatic Slim’s – You have choices, but I personally would go for the Cajun crawfish dip with wonton chips, the smoked beef tenderloin, and the homemade dessert of the day.

Brass Door – All of the appetizer and entree choices sound good. I would have trouble picking here. Based on my knowledge of the menu, the appetizer and entree prices add up to about $20 so it’s like you’re getting a free dessert. I especially recommend this place if you like soccer.

Carolina Watershed – $10.18 for a lunch for Cornish hen, collard greens, and Delta grits. This is a really neat space, based on silos, for those of you who have never been in there.

Felicia Suzanne’s – Personally, I’d get the crispy oysters with New Orleans BBQ sauce, the Sunday Sugo, and the chocolate bread pudding, but you can’t go wrong with anything on this menu. You do you. TWO NOTES: 1) This place will probably fill up the fastest with reservations of any Downtown Dining Week restaurant. If you want to reserve a table there, do not delay. 2) They will be open every day for dinner as well as Friday lunch, with the $20.18 dinner menu available. I seriously doubt they will be doing their 25 cent martinis for lunch the Friday of DDW.

Regina’s Cajun Kitchen – A three-course Cajun lunch menu that seems like it would be a good value for $20.18, but it’s not – it’s for the lunch price of $10.18.

South of Beale – This would be the place to go if you have a vegetarian in your group. General Tso’s Cauliflower, a Zaka Bowl, and choice of dessert. They have salmon and steak options for meat-eaters. Man, I’d be all over that peanut butter banana pudding.

Westy’s – Bring a friend for lunch. For $10.18 you get TWO of a catfish basket, a patty melt, or a marinated chicken sandwich, each of which comes with fries or tots. They also offer a $20.18 three-course dinner: 1 appetizer and 1 dessert to share, and 2 entrees. The Hot Fudge Pie is one of Memphis’ most famous dishes.

Well, my plans for today have changed and then changed again. My original plan was to lead off at Bardog as usual, but I found out my regular bartender Bloom won’t be there today.

So, with only two Farmers Markets left, I decided to make it a Market and Max’s Sports Bar day. I figured I’d check out the produce, then go watch a woman act all offended when I had the gall to look at the TV she was sitting under (act being the key word). I could also do other extremely offensive things like get up and walk to the restroom, or say “bye” to her when she leaves.

But then yesterday, my friend Mary told me she and her boyfriend Alex are teaming up behind the bar for the first time at Blind Bear brunch. That’s going to be a lot of fun. So the Market and Max’s are pushed back a week, and Bear it is.

Outta here for now. Back tomorrow with more news.

Voting problems, provisional ballots, and Friday news

I was one of the people who early voted yesterday and ran into problems. After Twitter conversations with Bruce VanWyngarden of the Flyer and a lawyer who specializes in election law, I figured it would be a good idea to tell my story here. Let me make it clear, I am not trying to bash the Election Commission – well, I will a little about one specific thing – but mostly, I am just here to tell the story of what happened yesterday and let my readers draw their own conclusions.

For those of you just here to read the Friday news, scroll past the picture of the troll below. I have some good stuff today.

I registered to vote online the first week of October, probably October 2 give or take a day. The registration deadline was October 9, four weeks before the November 6 general election. I understand why they cut off registration when they do – they need those four weeks to make sure everyone’s registrations are in order. With early voting starting on October 17, I wondered, will all the registrations be in place by then? When I went to vote yesterday (Thursday, October 18, the second day of early voting), I was aware I might have to fill out a provisional ballot, especially after I checked my mail and did not find a voter registration card. I decided to allow myself a little extra time. Good thing I did.

I got to Calvary Episcopal, the Downtown early voting location, about 10:20 AM (unlike most early voting sites, they are open weekdays 9-5). I went to the first table where the lady put my driver’s license on a scanner. After a minute told me, “It can’t find you in the system. When did you register?”

“I think it was the last week of September,” I replied. It took me until I got to the next poll worker to remember it was later than that.

“We’re going to have to look you up,” she said, directing me to a man sitting at a table in the back. “This is Paul Ryburn,” she said. “He’s not in the system and his registration needs to be looked up.”

“Ryburn?” he said. “R-Y?” He flipped through a very thick binder filled with sheets of people’s names and addresses. “No, you’re not in here either. I’m going to have to call in and check on your registration. When did you register?”

“Last week of September… actually, I think it was the first week of October,” I told him. He asked for my date of birth and I gave him that too. He picked up a phone with “CALVARY” taped to the back and called a number.

After a couple of minutes on hold, he said, “This is ____ at Calvary. I have a voter who says he registered online the first week of October, but he’s not in the system or in the voter list. First name Paul, last name R-Y-B as in boy,-U-R-N. Date of birth __-__-____.”

He waited for a minute, then said, “Okay, thanks,” and hung up. “You’re not in their system yet either,” he said. “Where did you register to vote? What it online through the DMV?”

“No, not through the DMV,” I replied. “It was just the standard Tennessee online registration form. It wasn’t through any particular candidate.”

“Okay, I think I know what happened,” the poll worker told me. “Online registration is a new thing and I am not claiming to be an expert in it. But I know a massive amount of people registered right before the deadline. All that information has to be re-entered by poll workers, and there was so much of it that they are probably overwhelmed and playing catch-up. So your registration probably hasn’t been processed into the system yet.”

I nodded my head but inside I was seething a little. Let me get this straight, voters input all the needed data at the time they register online, and then poll workers have to turn around and RE-ENTER that same information, even though it’s already there? Well, if that ain’t government at its finest. I understand certain things have to be verified, but why the need to re-enter data like my first name and address when the data I entered could just be re-used? Maybe it’s to prevent hackers from cross-script attacking the registration form and gaining access to the voter rolls, but there are much better ways to prevent that than re-entering everything.

The poll worker took me over to a table. “What we’re going to have to do is have you vote provisionally, on a paper ballot,” Most of the people there were voting on machines. “I’m going to go look up your precinct number and slice,” he told me. No idea what a slice is, and I didn’t ask. “While I’m getting you the correct ballot, you can be filling out this paperwork.” He handed me a manila-colored mail-in voter registration form and a green envelope. I started filling them out with a black pen he gave me. Oddly, the mail-in registration form did not ask for my driver’s license number, whereas the online registration had. The green envelope asked me to affirm that I was (name) living at (address) voting in the November election.

The poll worker came back with a paper ballot. “In a minute I’m going to step away so you have some privacy to vote,” he said. “But first I’m going to explain to you what will happen. About two weeks after November 6, you will receive a letter from the state, after they’ve had time to confirm your registration. It will say either, we found you and your vote counted, or we couldn’t find you and your vote didn’t count. From what you’ve told me here today, most likely the letter will say your vote counted.”

He backed away and I filled out the ballot. Like standardized tests in school, I had to completely fill in the bubble next to my desired candidate’s name. However, I could do it with a blue or black pen, rather than being restricted to Number 2 pencil. I voted in the governor’s, senator’s, representative, state senator’s, and state representative races, as well as the three amendments on the ballot. It was not a hard ballot to fill out.

By the way – I saw on Twitter that for some people, Republican Bill Lee’s name appeared at the top of the 20 gubernatorial candidates, and Democrat Karl Dean’s name appeared at the bottom. That was not the case on my ballot. The candidates were divided into two columns, Lee’s name at the top of the left and Dean’s at the top of the right.

I indicated to the poll worker that my ballot was complete. “Okay,” he said, “What I want you to do is fold your ballot up and put it in the green envelope. Then I want you to seal the green envelope, and don’t tear anything off. If you tear it off we have to do it over again. Once your envelope is sealed, we are going to put it in an old-fashioned paper ballot box. It is very important that you put it in the envelope and seal it, and you put it in the ballot box yourself. If I do those things for you, someone might claim that I tried to influence or change your vote.” I understood. He was doing things by the book. I sealed the envelope. I was the first one to use a paper ballot at that location that day, so the poll worker had to cut off a plastic zip-tie on the ballot box, revealing the slot into which I put the envelope.

“On Election Day, a Republican poll worker along with a Democrat poll worker will open this box,” I was told. “They will go through all the paper provisional ballots and verify registration.”

“Sounds good, thanks for all your help getting this done,” I told the poll worker. “Am I finished?”

“You’re done,” he said. I walked to the room’s doorway, where a lady handed me an “I voted” sticker in the shape of the state of Tennessee. I failed to notice the “Exit” sign and turned the wrong way, and ended up exploring the halls of Calvary Episcopal for a minute or two before a custodian told me how to get to the exit.

It was a good thing I went the wrong way and took an extra minute to get out, because as I exited outside into the cool morning air, I heard “Sir!” behind me. It was a lady who was one of the poll workers that day. “We need to get one more signature from you.” I went back inside. Because I had been taken to the back table to figure out my registration, I had bypassed the second table, where I needed to sign “the book.” No biggie, just had to print my name and then sign my name. Now I was officially done. I was out of there at 10:57, perfect because I would be walking through Court Square on my way home. The Thursday food truck rodeo was about to begin and I brought some nachos from Moe’s back to the apartment.

That’s what happened as best I can recollect it. The poll workers were extremely courteous and helpful and I believed they did the very best job they could. I’m also not here to bash the Election Commission, although others have on Twitter – I just want to share my experience and let my readers decide for themselves.

I also want to point out that I am a middle-aged, heterosexual white male who grew up in the Episcopal church. I am not a member of any minority. There has been some talk that those whose registrations did not make it into the system were disproportionately minorities. I can’t speak to that, but I am proof they weren’t all minorities. I checked “Race: White” and “Gender:M” on my online registration application.

That’s my story. The one piece of advice I have to my readers is, if you run into problems similar to mine, by all means ask to fill out a provisional ballot. Do so even if the poll workers tell you they do not think your vote will count. Give your voice every possible chance to be heard. This election is too important to give up because of a few difficulties.

I have a feeling this post will be shared and tweeted. For first-time readers, welcome to my little corner of the Internet. I live in Downtown Memphis, and I try to post every day sharing news and information in which Downtowners would be interested. If you want to check out what a normal post for me looks like, scroll past the troll (she’s kind of become this blog’s mascot) and check out the Friday news.

Residence Inn at Main and Monroe has spread some painted #901Rocks around Downtown. Be the first to find a rock, take a photo of it, and tag @ResidenceInnMem on Twitter, and receive a $25 gift card to the Starbucks on the ground floor of the hotel. (Really, I would imagine the gift card is good for any Starbucks location)

A Paranormal Evening with Alice Cooper comes to the Orpheum tonight. The legend of shock-rock brings horror themes to the stage this evening, just in time for Halloween season.

Good Gourd! is the theme at the Memphis Farmers Market this Saturday. Grab some ornamental gourds to pretty up your home just in time for autumn. Also, grab some edible gourds including pumpkins, winter squash, butternuts, and acorns. The Cossitt Library and Kids’ Corral, running at the Market from 9:30 to 1:00, will introduce your kids to the wonders of the library. Live local music all day long. The Market runs this Saturday and next under the pavilion at Front and G.E. Patterson, 8 AM to 1 PM.

The Memphis Flyer has a look at Wonder/Cowork/Create, the coworking space for artists and creative types on Monroe Avenue in The Edge.

Evan Farris and Kitty Dearing will perform at the Civil Pour, the bar inside the 409 S. Main food hall, next Thursday, October 25 from 7 to 9 PM.

Carrie Underwood brings The City Pretty Tour 360 to FedExForum on October 23. Maddie and Tae will open.

The 4th annual Memphis Smoke happens at The Tinder Box, 346 S. Main, tomorrow from 1 to 6 PM. Cigar lovers, this is a day for you. Live music from IHeartMemphis, BBQ from Vanelli’s Deli, swag, games, and full bar. Most importantly for smokers, though, 20 cigar vendors will be on hand and there will be huge cigar specials.

The Grizzlies have announced festivities for tonight’s home opener. Evvie McKinney will perform the national anthem. Before the game Triggarman, DJ Spanish Fly and Young Dolph will perform. Rev. John Wilkins, John Paul Keith and Project Pat will perform at halftime.

The Silly Goose Hallows’ Eve Ball has been announced for the night of October 31. They normally do their Halloween party the Saturday before, but a lot of people had scheduling conflicts, so they’re doing it the night of this year. Note that Bardog, three blocks away, also does their party the night of, so it would be easy to do both.

Oh, a note about the Bardog party: You don’t have to be present at 11:59 PM on Halloween to win the raffle for the hearse parked outside, but if you have raffle tickets, make sure your phone’s ringer is on and you’re awake (or at least not so dead asleep that you don’t hear the phone ring).

Back to Silly Goose for a minute… the night after Halloween, November 1, they will have Paint & Get Lit with David Yancy III. Ticket purchase price includes paint, canvas, and instruction. For those who want to eat while they paint, Wok’n in Memphis will have a three-course Chinese dinner available for order.

117 Prime is hiring hostesses. Stop by in person to apply.

If you’re a fan of the blues, you’ll want to attend the Downtown Neighborhood Association meeting on Tuesday, October 23. Instead of one featured speaker they’ll have a Blues Panel. Barbara Newman, president and CEO of the Blues Foundation, will be the moderator. Panel will include Barbara Blue, Reba Russell, John Nemeth, Gracie Curran, and Matt Isbell. Also at the meeting, nominations will be presented for the 2019 DNA board and voting will occur. There will be light snacks and a cash bar. 6 PM social, 6:30 program. Free for members, $10 for guests – but they love guests, and if your guest joins at the meeting, your drink is on DNA. The location is “TBA” as of yet but when I get word of the actual meeting place, I will post it here.

If you get a chance to go buy a Mega Millions lottery ticket this afternoon, you might want to… officials say the jackpot has hit $1 billion for tonight’s drawing.

Here’s an interesting site to read as the World Series approaches: The Physics of Baseball

Very excited to hear that the NBA G-League is offering a professional path to elite high school players/18-year-old players. As an alternative to one-and-done in college, elite players will be offered a one-year, $125,000 contract to play for a G-League team (regular G-League team members not affiliated with an NBA team earn $35,000 a year). After that year is up, they are not eligible for the contract to be renewed and they go straight into the NBA draft. Think about some of the advantages:

  • Players who see college as a waste of a year of their lives will have someplace else to show off their skills while developing as players. Also, players who have mad skills on the court but who are not academically ready for college won’t have to do things to get college eligible (think Derrick Rose here).
  • Let’s be perfectly honest… $125,000 is about what elite players get paid to attend certain colleges as one-and-dones. Now they have a way to still make that money – not even close to what they’ll make in the NBA, but enough to be life-changing for an 18-year-old from a poor neighborhood. At least it’s enough to help parents with bills and purchase a decent vehicle. And, they get that $125K legit, rather than through a shady network of apparel reps, AAU coaches, agents, and college assistant coaches.
  • Free from the NCAA’s stupid amateurism rules, players will be free to hire agents, as well as profit from their names and likenesses. Actually this is the way elite players could get paid far in excess of $125K total for their 18-19 year old year.
  • They’d get coaching not only to develop them as players, but life coaching that will benefit them when they make it to the NBA. Advice like
    • Hire a personal chef (probably can’t do this on $125K, but keep it in mind for when you make NBA money) who will plan a diet that will give you maximum power and energy on the court
    • Develop a regular sleep schedule and keep to it, especially during the NBA season
    • Don’t let an entourage form around you, people who want to live in the glow of your stardom and spend all your money
    • Find a professional wealth manager who is experienced managing the portfolios of clients with 7- and 8-figure net worth, and don’t think that you or your entourage (which you shouldn’t have anyway) knows better than he or she does
    • Remember that everything you say or do in a public forum – whether on the microphone or social media – is a reflection on your team

What will this do to elite college recruiting? Remains to be seen, but I predict some will prefer the professional route and others will prefer the traditional college route. Grizz rookie Jaren Jackson Jr. said he would still go the college route had he been offered the choice.

I don’t think this will hurt Memphis Tigers recruiting much. The Tigers have an NBA All-Star as a head coach, and an assistant coach with two NBA championship rings. Prospective players are likely to think, “These guys are going to know more about getting me to the NBA than the people in the G-League possibly could.” Players who take the fast money over an education from Penny and Mike Miller are probably ones we wouldn’t want playing for the Tigers anyway.

Y’know, it would be interesting to poll some of the most well-known players from the Pastner years, and ask them, if the option had been available, would they have gone the professional route? Players like Joe Jackson, Chris Crawford, Shaq Goodwin, Tarik Black, Will Barton, Antonio Barton.

I wonder what John Calipari thinks about all this? If the professional path had existed in the last decade, Cal might’ve missed out on a Boogie Cousins, or a John Wall, or an Anthony Davis, or a Karl-Anthony Towns… or if you go back a little farther, a Derrick Rose or a Tyreke Evans.

All right, I’ve blabbered on long enough in this super long post. Going to hit Publish now and I plan to be back tomorrow with more news.

Thursday update

The Blind Bear posted photos of their new lunch menu. Here’s a look (click for a larger size):

This is a great option for those of you at AutoZone and ServiceMaster, as well as other offices nearby. The Bear offers the lunch menu 11-3 weekdays and then happy hour is 3-7 weekdays. They have brunch Saturday and Sunday 11-6.

St. Jude Blood Donation Center is in desperate need of platelets. Donating platelets is equivalent to donating hundreds of dollars to the children’s hospital because of the money it saves.

Celtic Woman returns to the Orpheum Saturday, April 20 with The Ancient Land Tour. Tickets go on sale next Wednesday.

Evelyn and Olive invites you to join them for Jerk chicken & Festival tonight 6-8:30 “while you watch the game.” Not exactly sure that that means but the price is “only $3.5” so it’s worth exploring.

Jeremy Stanfill and Josh Cosby play Carolina Watershed Saturday at 6:30.

Boos & Brews 2018, on the night of Saturday, October 27, will be a Downtown Halloween bar crawl to raise money and awareness for the Ronald McDonald House. Participants will meet at 8 PM that night at The Vault on G.E. Patterson, and will crawl to stops including South Main Sushi, The Green Beetle, Pontotoc Lounge, Silly Goose, and Bardog Tavern. Prizes for the best male, female, and group/couple costumes. Tickets are $15 in advance//$20 at the door and get you free cover at all event locations as well as drink specials.

John Paul Keith plays Blind Bear tomorrow night, 10 PM.

San Marcos, Texas-based band Blue October plays the New Daisy tonight. Doors open at 7.

This weekend is the annual Repair Days at the Metal Museum. 200 volunteer metalsmiths from all over the country come in to repair metalworks brought in by the public.

All right, going to cut this post short because it’s time to go VOTE! I’m going to walk up the street to Calvary Episcopal which is one of the early polling locations. If more news comes in I’ll do a second update later today. Otherwise I will be back tomorrow.

Wednesday update

The Daily Memphian reports that manager Stubby Clapp’s chances of returning to the Redbirds are growing slimmer. His name has come up in discussions of a third-base coach with the Cardinals. He is also being talked about as a potential manager for the Texas Rangers.

Chandler Parsons has purchased 1000 tickets to the Grizzlies home opener Friday night. He’ll hand them out in the lobby of FedExForum tomorrow at 2 PM. Limit 2 per person.

Anita Baker brings her farewell tour to the Orpheum Wednesday, November 21, and tickets are now on sale.

The Flyer reports that Huey’s will be serving a vegan burger in the coming weeks.

Early voting starts today. Here’s a list of early voting locations. Downtowners, Calvary Episcopal will have early voting 9 AM to 5 PM weekdays. Address is 102 N. Second but you enter from the B.B. King side.

As your #1 source of news and information about The Edge District, it’s my pleasure to inform you that the Edge District Association meeting happens tonight at Evelyn & Olive, 630 Madison, at 6. Come meet owners Caroline and Wayne and try their delicious Jamaican and Southern fusion food. Guest speaker Richard Vining will give an update on the auto museum soon to open in The Edge. Residents and business owners as well as fans and friends of The Edge are invited.

The Memphis Grizzlies 2018-19 media guide is now available. Historical data, player and staff bios, and more.

There’s a new Jim Beam out that is aged in old hot sauce barrels. I was told yesterday that Belle Tavern and Local have it.

Ghost River is hosting a Here for the Boos party Halloween night 4-11 PM. Flight Night 4-7, Eddy’s Pepper food truck, Flying Vs play at 9, spooky trivia at 7, prizes for best costumes, and they’ll be tapping a special chocolate brew.

Catherine & Mary’s is once again hiring:

Paula & Raiford’s will host its annual Disco Halloween Party Saturday, October 27 from 10 PM to 3 AM.

The NBA regular season has begun and the Indiana Pacers host the Memphis Grizzlies tonight at 6 PM. The game will be televised on Fox Sports Southeast.

By the way, here’s a suggestion for bar owners and managers: Make a list of the channel numbers for the HD versions of channels on which sports are commonly shown, and tape it near your register for easy access by your bartenders. That way, when someone requests to watch a particular game, if they know what channel it’s on, your bartender won’t have to spend 10 minutes searching through the channel guide.

That’ll do it for this post. Back tomorrow with more news.