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It’s time for another Brick Quote of the Week, nursery rhyme edition.  PROFANITY ALERT:  If you can’t handle profanity, skip this post.  Come to think of it, just assume “profanity alert” for every Brick quote from now on.

This week my friend Clay decided to see how much Brick knew about children’s nursery rhymes.

“See if you can finish this one,” he challenged Brick.  “Jack and Jill went up the hill, to…”

Brick thought about it for a minute.  If you listened closely you could hear the rocks rolling around in her head as she thought.  Then she gave her answer.

“… To fuck?” she said, in all seriousness.

I don’t know about you, but if Brick were to re-write the book of nursery rhymes and children’s stories, it’d be fine with me.  I wonder what she’d do with Jack and the Beanstalk.

I recently have had a request for more “Glo and Flo” coverage in this blog.  Glo and Flo are two female Downtown residents who were supposed to guest-write articles for this blog to give the female perspective on things Downtown.  In almost two years they have written a grand total of nothing.  Nevertheless, they stopped me at an event at the Warehouse at the end of last year and requested “more Glo and Flo.”

Tonight they get their wish.  After a 9 hour stint at the Saucer, I decided to have a couple of take-it-home beers at Bardog.  And there Glo and Flo were, in the corner, drunk.  Glo seemed to be particularly wasted.  I thought about taking a photo of them, but I know how they like to hide behind their pseudonyms.  Of course, you have to be a writer to have a pseudonym.  Which Glo and Flo are not, since they have never submitted the long-promised guest blog entries.

Four UT basketball players have been suspended by coach Bruce Pearl, following their New Year’s Eve arrest on drug and weapons charges.  Details here on the KnoxNews site.  In addition, they were in a borrowed rental vehicle that may lead to an NCAA rule violation.  Sounds like the Bruchebag is not off to a good start in the New Year!

A new beer festival is coming to Downtown Memphis on Saturday, April 24.  It is called Memphis BrewFest 2010 and it will be held in the courtyard of Autozone Park from 5 to 9 PM.  $30 for an advance ticket until April 15, $35 afterward, $40 at the door if they do not sell out in advance.  They are expecting to sell out in advance – they’re limiting the tickets to 1500 – so it’s a good idea to buy early.  Fest will be held rain or shine and will be moved under a roof if it rains.  Proceeds will benefit Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy.

To learn more about the festival or to buy tickets, go to the festival’s website.

Hmmm the last Saturday in April… I was thinking that might conflict with the hot wing fest in South Main… but thinking about it further, the hot wing fest was the third Saturday in April in ’09, not the last.  So maybe it won’t be a conflict.  Even if they are the same day, they’ll only overlap by a couple of hours.  It’d make for a heck of a long drinking day though.

Enjoyed the parade yesterday… ya know, I gotta say, ECU may be the opponents, but they conduct themselves with a lot of class.  They “travel well,” as Air Traffic Mike would say.  Good to have them in town.  There were lots of Hog fans Downtown yesterday, although I was kind of surprised to be the only one in an authentic Hog Hat.  I watched the first 50 minutes of the parade while drinking a 32 oz. BAB (Big Ass Beer), then walked up the street for a 34 oz. BKB (Big Kooky Beer).  I think my Hog Hat scared a baby.

Before the parade, I stopped by Main Street Hound Dogs, where they were serving blackeyed peas for the new year.  I also tried a Christo, a bag of Fritos with a scoop of chili, cheese, and onions added.  Very good.  I hope the blackeyed peas bring me luck in 2010.  I’m on a 1/2 limit hold’em poker table as I type this, and so far I’m up $8.75, so maybe they’re working.  Don’t forget that you can follow the hot dog cart at @mainsthounddogs on Twitter.

It’s 24 outside as I type this.  I had an opportunity to go to the Liberty Bowl today, and I’m glad I turned it down.  I’ll be watching the game inside a nice, warm bar.  Most likely I’ll be at the Saucer, unless they put something really nasty on Fire Sale.

Tomorrow’s the start of a new week, and I have a quote from Brick ready to post, so check back.

The Liberty Bowl parade is at 3 PM today on Beale Street, and I most definitely will be there.  Look for me – I’ll have this on:

GO HOGS!!!  Now, here’s the dilemma.  Parades last about an hour, so the Liberty Bowl parade will be over about 4.  The Saucer doesn’t open until 5.  What are we supposed to do between 4 and 5?  Even if they had Turbo Dog as the Fire Sale and Brittney behind the bar, that’d be an improvement over not being open at all.

Hmmm there’s the Tap Room, with 20 beers on tap and a full liquor bar.  Plus, I could visit my mug.  Superior Bar usually has good happy hour specials on domestics, although I’m not 100% positive whether those apply on holidays.

Or we could do what we do last year, and go stand outside the Saucer’s door, and act like such obnoxious pains in the ass that the manager lets us in early.

Happy new year everyone.  I ended up doing the ultimate New Year’s Eve plan last night… nothing.  I sat around and played on PokerStars until about 9 last night.  Considered going out, but my body was telling me “time to hit the reset button” and get a full night’s sleep without any alcohol in my system that needed to be processed.  So I went to bed early, although the party nearby at the Cadre Building kept me drifting in and out of sleep until 1:30 or so.

I’m totally fine missing New Year’s Eve… the real party Downtown starts today, and keeps going until about December 30.  I hate it that I missed Dynaflow at Calhoun’s last night though… wish they’d book them on just a regular Friday or Saturday night sometime, when it’s not NYE, DTO or some other event.  I’d definitely like to hear them.

Less than a month and a half until the Winter Olympics
2 1/2 months until March Madness
3 1/2 months until Crawfish Fest
3 1/2 months until Hot Wing Fest
3 1/2 months until Wine Race
3 1/2 months until another event I haven’t told you about yet
4 1/2 months until BBQ Fest
5 months until Tube Top Month

Welcome to 2010!

In the previous post I advised everyone to get a cab home rather than come Downtown and then drive your car home drunk. But what if you don’t want to leave your car Downtown? You do have an option. Through 1/2 AAA is offering its Tow to Go program to the public, free of charge, whether or not you are an AAA member. Call 800-AAA-HELP and a tow truck will be dispatched to give you and your vehicle a lift, up to 10 miles.

The Peabody sent me a locals’ insider tip that I wanted to pass on. If you’re going to the Tigers/Vols game today at the FedExForum, hang on to your ticket stub. You can show it at the Peabody NYE party tonight and receive $5 off cover.

I also received word that a band “sure to entertain and offend” will play three sets on the Black Diamond patio this afternoon between 2 and 4 PM. Never heard of them, but here’s a link to their MySpace page so you can check them out.

There’s a Tigers pep rally at Handy Park this afternoon at 1 PM, two hours prior to the game time at 3. The U of M cheerleaders and pom squad and Coach P will make appearances. There will also be giveaways.  Here’s a pic my friend Mikey took of Handy Park:

Tomorrow will be a recovery day from partying for a lot of people, but don’t forget that it’s the Liberty Bowl parade tomorrow, January 1, at 3 PM on Beale Street. Come out and support the Hogs!!!

Best Facebook status update of the past 24 hours: “Pretty sure that throwing your cigarette butt out of the window of your Prius negates your effort to save the world…” Indeed.

Main Street Hound Dogs tweeted that they’ll be out today. If you’re Downtown, stop by the cart at Main and Union and get a “U Dirty Dog” chili dog before the game! It’s a heck of a lot cheaper than buying a hot dog from the FedExForum vendors!

Two numbers to put in your phone for tonight: 323-3333 and 577-7777. If you drive Downtown and then drink, I highly recommend a cab ride home. You can come pick up your car tomorrow when sober… not worth risking a DUI, and you know the cops will be out tonight!

More info to come this weekend… I have info to share about an upcoming speed dating event in a few weeks, and a new beer festival in the spring.

The U of M Young Alumni will have a party at the Hard Rock Cafe on Beale tomorrow 12/31 from noon to 5 PM, to watch the 3 PM basketball game as the Memphis Tigers host the Tennessee Vols.  Miller Lite is the sponsor, and there will be specials on that beer and also on “True Blue” margaritas.  In addition, there will be Tiger and Miller Lite apparel giveaways.  So if you’re looking for a place to watch the game, come on down to the Hard Rock tomorrow afternoon.

Not a whole lot today… man was I drunk when I posted that video last night.

Article in the CA today about the Washburn Apartments scheduled to open on the Main Street Mall around February 1.  It’s a beautiful building that has sat vacant for far too long.  Glad to see it finally being developed.

Speaking of apartments, I saw on Facebook that the building I live in, Number 10 Main, is offering some really good specials – two months free on a 13 month lease, and free parking for college students, a really nice perk.  As I’ve said before, I’ve lived in this building almost seven years and love the place.  Check it out if you’re ready to make the move Downtown.

I’ll finish this post with a couple of quotes I saw on Twitter.  One of my Twitter friends quoted a news article that said 69% of people are staying home on New Year’s Eve.  A Downtown Memphian replied to her, “Hey, we go out 364 days a year, we can give the newbies 1 night.”  EXACTLY!  NYE = amateur night.  Still undecided for my NYE plans, but I really won’t mind a bit if I end up staying home.

Will probably grab a happy hour beer after work at the Saucer, then will assess the weather situation and determine whether I want to head south to Calhoun’s for the Arizona-Nebraska game.

We won at trivia tonight.  Brick is now my favorite waitress, for saying what so many people would like to say when she introduced herself to Meghan last night at Pint Nite.

Tonight we had an appearance from the elusive and mysterious Kim, not seen at the Saucer since May.  I’ve decided to nickname her “Kimmy Kim” from now on.

I’m drunk and I have no useful news to report.  Let’s take it home.

Jack be nimble… Jack be quick… Jack jumped over a humping stick…

We are the humpback people… we love to hump around…

Eeenie meenie miney mo… catch a humper by his toe…

Thinking about going to Calhoun’s tomorrow around 7 for the Arizona/Nebraska bowl game… you never know what Arizona fans you might see there…