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Walking down the New Main block yesterday, on the Main Street Mall between Union and Gayoso, I noticed that two apartments had “for rent” signs in the window. All the apartments on that block are new conversions and are VERY nice. It’s quite rare indeed to see even one up for rent, much less two.

One is a two bedroom/two bath on the third floor of the building that houses Sauces. The other is on the second floor of 105 S. Main and the sign didn’t say how many bedrooms or baths.

Not only are the apartments really nice, but the location is ideal. You’d have less than a two block walk to Sauces, Rio Loco, Sawaddii, Huey’s, Automatic Slim’s, Cafe 61, Big Foot Lodge, a convenience store, the Flying Fish, Encore, McGuinness, the Peabody Place mall, Flying Saucer, Swig, Majestic Grille, Bluefin, Circa, Cayenne Moon, and the Butcher Shop. You’d also be right on the trolley line for easy access to the Pinch/Uptown and South Main.

If you’re considering moving Downtown, this would be an opportunity to jump on. If interested I suggest you drive down there today and get the phone numbers to call, because these units will not stay available for long.

Not sure what the rents are, but in that area they tend to average about $1/square foot. My guess would be in the $800-1,050 range for 1 bedrooms and $1,100-1,400 for 2 bedrooms.

Consider this scenario: It’s 3 AM on a Sunday morning/Saturday night, whichever you want to call it. You’re walking home, going north on Second, approaching Union. You see a guy crossing the street, approaching people, crossing back, changing direction, looking people over good, not appearing to have any destination in particular.

What could this guy be up to? Here are the possibilities that run through my mind:

1) He’s panhandling, which is illegal after dark;

2) He’s trying to get people to pay for something illegal, such as drugs or a hooker;

3) He’s sizing people up, seeing who might be a good target to rob if they turn down a dark alley;

4) He’s legitimately lost and/or in need of assistance.

In the last case, he would be delighted to talk to a police officer if one were to roll up to him. In the other three cases, of course, he definitely would NOT be interested in interaction with a police officer.

But the thing is, you see these guys on the streets ALL THE TIME in the wee hours, doing exactly the kind of activity I described above, because the police DON’T roll up and ask them what they’re doing, where they’re going.

In my opinion, doubling back across streets several times and approaching people and casing people out qualifies as “suspicious activity.” Then again, I haven’t been through the police academy so I don’t know the official definition. But it sure seems suspicious to me. It’s not that the cops necessarily have to arrest these guys for anything; just roll up to them and say hello. Nothing wrong with saying hello to one of your town’s citizens, after all. Maybe drive by a couple of times in the 10 minutes following, to communicate, “I’m watching you.” If the cops did that, I promise you, these guys wouldn’t find Downtown Memphis such a hospitable place to conduct their activities, and they’d move on.

It makes my blood boil that Memphis is so permissive of this kind of behavior. I’m about to go home to Little Rock for Christmas, and I can tell you, you never see that kind of activity on the streets of Downtown Little Rock.

I had one of these guys look me over good last night as I walked home from Beale Street. I made it home safe and sound but this morning I learned that one of my neighbors, who had also been on Beale Street, had been mugged walking home.

The police need to be proactive.

Today I’m replacing all the light bulbs in the apartment with energy-saving EcoBulbs. An EcoBulb that burns as brightly as a 100-watt regular light bulb uses only 23 watts of energy.

Actually, being kind to the environment is only half the reason I’m changing bulbs. The other part of it is, EcoBulbs last 5 times longer than regular bulbs. In an apartment with 12-foot ceilings, changing the light bulbs in overhead lights can be a real pain in the ass. I want to do it as little as possible, so I want bulbs that last as long as possible.

Had so much fun at the office Christmas party at E&H last night that I never made it to the Sleep Out Louie’s reunion. They brought out a big plate of Soul Burgers and I POUNCED on it. Boy were those good. The party ended about 9 and some of the sales and marketing people invited me to continue the good times at the Midtown Blue Monkey, but I could tell that staying out late every night this week was starting to take its toll on me. I could see myself falling asleep at a table at the Monkey if I went. So I walked home. Well, not straight home, because the Saucer was on the way. Hung out with the gang there and watched Memphis play in whatever bowl game that was. Was home by 11.

In basketball, (2) Memphis plays (4) Georgetown at 11 AM today at the FedExForum. The gang is meeting at the Saucer about 10:45 (the Saucer is opening an hour early) to watch the game. Gonna be weird being in the Saucer that early. I hope they have a good Fire Sale today.

Finally done with all the Christmas parties. No idea what I’ll be getting into tonight. Since I’m not doing Sunday brunch tomorrow, I’m giving myself permission to stay out extra late if I feel like it.

… these two.

Tuesday night a friend of mine who works at a Downtown restaurant got off work. As many restaurant workers do, his plan was to change clothes in his car and go back out. As he approached his car a bum appeared and asked for some money.

“I’m a local, dude, leave me alone,” my friend said. He then proceeded to get in the car and start changing clothes.

The bum knocked on the car window. “Well, can I help you change clothes for a dolla?”

These people are unbelievable.

I was one of only about 7 people to observe the pajama party theme at Hoop’s Bar last night. Still had a good time though. People are going to start thinking I’m crazy (if they don’t already). In the past two months, I’ve been seen walking out of my apartment building wearing a Flying Saucer Beer Goddess uniform, a Santa suit, a red sequined shirt and pimp hat, and now a robe and pajamas.

Today after work I’m being interviewed by Memphis Magazine for their “Q&A” column for an upcoming issue. I’ve been told that I’ll be asked about my favorite bars Downtown, the panhandling problem, and whatever else is on my mind about Downtown Memphis. Looking forward to it.

After that I have two private Christmas parties to go to tonight. My bank account can definitely use a night when I eat and drink for free.

No Sunday Fun Day for me this week… driving home to Little Rock Sunday afternoon for Christmas. I may stop by the Majestic and say Merry Christmas to the brunch crew and Patrick and Deni though. Will be back in Memphis by 5 PM Christmas Day.

And that’s the lunchtime post. Back to work. I need to grab this week’s copy of the Flyer and see what’s going on this weekend.

The Christmas party season begins in hardcore fashion for me today and continues for the rest of this week… 5 parties in 3 days. Tonight’s party, however, is the one I’m most looking forward to. It’s a Christmas pajama party at Hoop’s Bar.

Unfortunately the hours present a bit of a dilemma… I’ve been told the party will be at its best from 10 PM to 3 AM. That doesn’t exactly go well with a job where I get there somewhere between 8 and 9 and leave around 5. I want to enjoy the party, but I don’t want to be dead at work tomorrow.

So here’s my plan for tonight:

5:00: Come home from work. Turn the cell phone off. Get in bed. Take a nap.
9:45: Get up. The good thing about a pajama party is, I don’t have to change clothes. Put on robe and slippers. Turn phone back on. Walk to Hoop’s.
10-3: Christmas party
3:15-7:30: Nap #2.

That actually IS a full night’s sleep, it’s just divided into two parts. As long as I take it easy on the beer at the party (dammit Hoop stop waving those Coronas around when you see me) I should be okay tomorrow.

In other news: Having a blog can be an advantage sometime. Last night while we were playing trivia, there was a big party going on in the other room at the Saucer. They didn’t even come close to eating all their food, and after the party ended one of the cooks who reads my blog brought us a veggie tray and a hot wing tray. You should’ve seen the Nuh-Uh Girl swoop down on that veggie tray – I think she went through two-thirds of it by herself.

The trays came with big bowls of ranch and blue cheese. It was the near unanimous agreement of everyone on the team that the Saucer’s ranch SUCKS. I thought about offering to run across the street to McGuinness to get some take-out cups of their ranch, but then I remembered that I don’t do that anymore. The Nuh-Uh Girl dipped her veggies in ketchup. That’s disgusting.

Time for work. I haven’t had time to do my usual morning routine, reading the Commercial Appeal’s site, news feeds from the local TV stations, and my favorite blogger/MILF’s and Thaddeus’ blogs. I feel like I don’t know what’s going on.

The info I got from a reader yesterday was incorrect… I went by Circa last night and they WERE still doing the $3 snaCks. There was some miscommunication Monday night and one of the bartenders thought they had discontinued it. But it’s still on. I had the Hawaiian big eye tuna and the beef brochet last night, both excellent.

I also had a $2.50 bottle of Corsendonk, a $2.50 Chimay White draft, and a $2.50 Chimay Red bottle. That’s right, $2.50 for CHIMAY. Circa will be seeing more of me on Tuesdays in the future. Probably other days of the week too. I want to try their other happy hour specials. And I want to EAT there too – not just snaCks but dinner!

The Rapscallions took second place in trivia last night. Pete the Trivia Guy wants to let everyone know that there WILL be trivia next Tuesday night, which is Christmas. Saucer opens at 5 that night.

Below is a picture of New Guinea, the second largest island in the world, split by the countries of Indonesia and Papua New Guinea.

Does anyone else think it looks a lot like Meatwad from the TV cartoon Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Seriously, put a couple of eyes and a mouth on it and it’s totally Meatwad… if I had a little more time this morning I’d Photoshop it.

I’ve been told that the neon signs are now hanging in the new Downtown Blue Monkey location. Hopefully that means they’re getting close.

Been making a lot of fun of people who hang out at the Cordova Fox & Hound lately… well, this morning I hit their website and took a look at their “December Favorites.” One of the products they’re pushing hard this month is BUD LIGHT. Oh. Okay. Now I get why people go there. Who wouldn’t get all excited about a bar that features Bud Light as one of its most outstanding offerings? John D: “Wha… Wha happened? Paul, can you give me driving directions to Cordova?”

However, I’ll be at Circa this evening, where I’ll be able to get a beer that actually has FLAVOR for $2.50 during their happy hour. Here’s a list of the beers they carry, all of which are on the special.

Woodchuck Draft
Yazoo Pale Ale
Anchor Steam
Spaten Lager
Chimay Peres Trappistes
Abita Light
Wild Hop
Warsteiner
Grolsch Blonde
Stella Artois
Xingu
Tiger
Harbin
Blanche de Chambly
Paulaner Hefe Weizen
Stone Mill Pale
North Coast Prankster
Theakstons Old Peculiar
Tillman’s Dutch Brown
Guinness

(Corrected correction: I had been told that the $3 snaCks had been discontinued. That’s not true. They’re still there!)

Happy hour runs from 4 to 7, but I’ll be there from the time I get off work (5ish) until I have to leave to do trivia night at the Saucer (6:40ish). Here’s a picture from the future (did you know this blog was clairvoyant?), from about 9:00 this evening, of Pete the Trivia Guy announcing the Rapscallions as the first-place team.

Born on this day: Pro wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (1964) and singer Christina Aguilera (1980). Also my next-door neighbor in the dorm in college, who got his 15 minutes of fame on the cover of the Memphis Flyer last week.

Time to hit Publish and go to work. It’s going to take at least a liter of Mountain Dew to turn me into a productive human being this morning.

As usual, I’ll hit Pint Nite tonight at the Saucer for $2.50 drafts. However, I’m also going to get in on some $2.50 beer for a little while tomorrow night as well.

You see, on Tuesday nights, Circa runs a happy hour special of $2.50 for all beers. They’ve got some nice ones on the list – some that not even the Saucer carries (Abita Light, Wild Hop, Tiger, Harbin, Stone Mill Pale), and some that the Saucer does carry but doesn’t sell for $2.50 on Pint Nite (Stella Artois, Chimay, Blanche de Chambly). I e-mailed owner/chef John Bragg and asked if there were any restrictions, and he said no, as of right now all the beers on the list go for $2.50 during Tuesday happy hour.

They also have “snaCks” (small appetizers) on sale for $3 during Happy Hour and I’ll try a couple of those as well. Check my November 27 post for a list of snaCks as well as a list of all of Circa’s happy hour specials during the week.

Of course, about 6:30ish I’ll have to leave to hit the Saucer for trivia. There’s no Grizzly or Tiger game tomorrow night, so I won’t have to get there early to hold the team’s spot in a crowded bar environment.

Anyone who wants to join me tomorrow night from 5ish to 6:30ish is welcome to do so… heck, you’re welcome to come over to the Saucer and play trivia too.

Just made my morning run to Jack’s for Mountain Dew. On the way back I heard yelling as soon as I stepped out of the store, coming from about a block away. And sure enough, as I passed Court Square, one of the bums was yelling at the top of his lungs. He had his shirt off (the current temperature is 29F) and alternated between trying to pick a fight with the three other bums in the park and dancing. Someone must’ve had some good crack for sale this morning. Or meth. I gave him an extremely wide berth as I hurried back to my apartment building. Last night a friend posed the question, which power would I rather have – invisibility, or flight? This morning I sure would’ve voted for invisibility.

Sunday Fun Day: Brunch at McGuinness at 11, then the usual move to the Saucer around 1 with a full day of drunken stupidity to follow. Here’s what Sunday brunch crew member Pete will be thinking this afternoon: