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Heavy rain is predicted for tomorrow. However… it looks like the Downtown Christmas parade may be able to proceed nonetheless. The Weather Channel’s daily forecast for tomorrow predicts rain at 6, 9, and 12, but none from 3 PM forward. Parade is at 4. Hopefully it’ll be okay. I have several friends riding in the parade, including my friends who own scooters and my favorite blogger/MILF’s daughter.

Dayum… my favorite blogger/MILF just posted a new profile pic on her blog and she looks HOT. Wish I could convince her to start hanging out in better venues… the East Bumblefuck Fox & Hound? Really? Isn’t that just about scraping the bottom of the barrel in the bar scene?

I think I’ll change my profile pic today too. The current one is from July ’06 and was taken at the Tap Room, where I rarely hang out anymore.

Other than that, not much news to report. They’re thinking about getting PBR cans at Hoop’s Bar. That’s the only thing I know of. Those of you who send me stuff to post – this would be an excellent time to get your stuff on my blog. I have writer’s block today for some reason.

No idea what I’ll get into tonight. Saucer crowd sucks on Fridays (especially when there’s a Grizzlies game at the Forum) so Hoop’s Bar will probably be my default, unless other plans come along. If anything interesting is happening shoot me an e-mail (paul@paulryburn.com) and let me know.

If you want to read some thoroughly entertaining stuff, check out Thaddeus Matthews’ blog, particularly the post for Sunday, December 9 and the post immediately above it. Apparently a local preacher – the one who built the giant “Statue of Liberation in Christ” out in East Memphis – gave a sermon on “How to keep your husband so the hoe don’t get him.” According to Thaddeus, the pulpit was transformed into a bedroom, and the preacher and his wife put on a show for the congregation. Check his post for complete, graphic details.

I can’t possibly come up with anything to blog today that’s as entertaining.

Plans for this evening:

5 PM: Come home from work and take a NAP!

7:30 PM: Hit the Saucer for a beer. I’m only staying for one before I move on to the next stop. 30 minutes should be plenty to drink one beer, especially now that I no longer have to interrupt my drinking to run across the street and get ranch.

8:00 PM: Hoop’s Bar/EP’s. Don’t forget, you can listen to Q107.5 today and learn how to score free drinks and food at EP’s from 8 to 9 tonight. Also, I’ve been told that house band Garry Goin and G3 will have a very special guest singing with them tonight. Hopefully the early nap will let me go a little longer into the night than usual.

Possibly next up: My thoughts on the Presidential race.

On the way home last night, I stopped by Big Foot for Paul’s Drunkass Food, and while there I took a look at the menu for these new 34-ounce mixed drinks they’re selling for $9.99. Here’s a list:

Goombay Smash – this is the one they’ve always had, with 5 different rums, sloe gin and pineapple juice.

Big Foot Long Island Tea – the usual ingredients, except it’s 34 ounces. Think about how messed up a regular-sized 12 oz. Long Island Tea can get you and then multiply by almost three. Scary.

Maple Leaf – rats, I can’t read the notes I took on this one. Looks like it involves whiskey, spiced rum, Southern Comfort, banana liqueur, and two other ingredients I can’t read. I think I wrote “cranberry” for one of them but not sure.

Blue Anchor – I can’t read the ingredients on this one either but it says it’s a “sorority favorite.” I’d definitely like to be in Big Foot when sorority girls come in and get drunk on these enormous drinks. Okay, I think two of the ingredients are Skyy Orange Vodka and Blue Curacao.

40 Tea – Forty Creek Canadian whiskey from the north and sweet tea from the south. I can’t recall ever seeing sweet tea as a drink ingredient, but then I usually drink beer.

Aboinable Bloody Mary – this one shouldn’t need explanation.

Yowie Margarita – nor should this one.

If you go in and try these, it would definitely be a good idea to have transportation lined up in advance. You may also want to stop by Walgreens and buy some of those hangover remedies they sell, because you’re going to need them if you mess around with these drinks.

Trivia sucked last night… we did horrible. It was a Grizzlies game night and it got super crowded, which I hate. I think I’m going to keep a Grizzlies schedule in my wallet and make it a point to stay out of the Saucer on those nights. Plus those people drank up all my Dos Equis Special Lager and about 10:30 they switched the Fire Sale to Dos Equis Amber. If I start with Amber I’ve got no problem with it, but switching from Special Lager to Amber at that point in the evening was a little more than my stomach could take. So I gave up about 11:00 and went home. So much for my plan to last until close.

At least that allowed me to get plenty of sleep, a good thing since I’m finally being assigned projects at work, rather than just being told “look through the code.” I’m converting existing VB.NET files to C#, and it really isn’t hard at all. Maybe it’s because I have this book

which makes C# easy to understand. If you know Java or VB.NET and are looking to learn C#, this is the book for you.

The Second Street Shoppers convenience store (99 S. Second across from the Peabody) is now selling beer.

Plans for tonight: Heck, I don’t know. Possibly I may end up at McGuinness at some point. I had a great time in there last Wednesday. Or Hoop’s Bar, since I have a great time in there every night.

Back to work.

The annual Downtown Christmas parade happens this Saturday at 4 PM on Beale Street. All the usual stuff – floats, marching bands, scooters, people throwing candy, and of course, Santa. Always a good time. I plan on getting there about 3, getting a Call-a-Cab to go from Wet Willie’s, and then staking out my spot. Usually I stand somewhere in the vicinity of the Black Diamond. This year I’ve been tasked with taking pictures of people I know in the parade, so I won’t be fighting for candy and beads as much as usual.

In other Downtown news… I heard from one of my blog readers that Big Foot Lodge is now selling 34 oz. mixed drinks for $10. STIFF drinks like Long Island teas. I need to go investigate this for myself, but since I have an AM conference call this morning I knew better than to go into Big Foot last night.

I’ve heard that two bums were arrested over the weekend for running parking lot scams near Main and Beale. Glad to see the cops are starting to clean that up. Two down, many more to go. There are at least 5 or 6 regulars who are down there every day illegally charging for parking. Premier Parking at Main and Beale continues to be the biggest problem, because some of the attendants let the panhandlers help out, which gives them a sense of legitimacy.

More bum info… I walked past Walgreens a few times yesterday. The first two times, the same crew that is ALWAYS hanging out there was in their usual spot, begging passersby. The third time I walked by, there were two cop cars outside and the Walgreens manager was talking to the police. Good job. The Walgreens people have been participating on the Handling-Panhandling list and are being a lot more proactive in their attempts to eliminate panhandling in front of their store.

A little birdie told me that Dos Equis Special Lager will be the $2.75 Fire Sale at the Saucer today. Oh YEAHHH. I think I may hand the team captainship/power of the pen over to one of the other trivia team members for the evening so I can focus on beer. Let’s see… if I get there at 5 and the Saucer closes at 1, that gives me 8 hours. Plenty of time. Of course, with my luck they’ll probably run out and switch the Fire Sale to Turbo Dog.

According to the Weather Channel, today the high will be 77 and the low 59. Guess I’ll be wearing shorts tonight then. Maybe I’ll even put on a Hawaiian shirt. In December.

Time for work.

My friends at the Peabody e-mailed to tell me that they are now selling eight martinis for $5 at the Corner Bar at Second and Union. Here’s the list:

Bechetini
Snickers
Peach Smoothie
Watermelon Martini
Grape Kool Aid
Tennessee Manhattan
Chocolate Monkey
Chocolate Covered Banana

Hmmm…. most of those are girl drinks. But, it’s not a bad marketing strategy. If you get females to come to your bar, the guys will follow. And unlike a certain pricey martini bar a couple of blocks away , the Corner Bar doesn’t have “Gentlemen, please remove your hats” on the door.

Grape Kool Aid… heh, bet my favorite blogger/MILF will be in there next time she comes Downtown.

What a great day hanging out with friends yesterday. We started at Dan McGuinness for brunch, then headed to the Saucer about 1:00, where for the first time in a week they had something drinkable on $2.75 Fire Sale – Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat, my second favorite beer. Unfortunately they did it the one Sunday when I couldn’t stay and drink the entire day… around 5 I prepared to hop a cab to Midtown for my friend Preggo’s baby shower, but three friends who were hanging out with me at the Saucer decided they wanted to go too, and one of them was sober enough to drive. So we piled into his pimpmobile and off we went.

The baby shower was at Dish, and I think having baby showers at bars is a great idea. For one thing, it means guys can come too, so you get twice as many presents. Also, if you’re a guy, baby showers absolutely suck without the presence of alcohol. But this one was a LOT of fun. Thanks Preggo and Nick for the invite. Hung out there for a couple of hours, then moved over to the Young Avenue Deli where the following picture of me was taken:

Ha… that’s one of the best pics of me in a while. I may have to make that my new profile picture on the blog and on MySpace, but I don’t have time to resize it right now. Note the PBR can in my right hand.

My original plan was to go back to Dish where the party was still going on, but around 8 one of the gang pointed out, “If we head back Downtown now we can still make it to Huey’s to catch the Dempseys.” I decided that I wanted to keep my 4-year streak of not missing Huey’s Dempseys shows alive, and so back Downtown it was.

The Dempseys were great as always. All of us made it through all three sets, and six pitchers of beer. Good times.

Mikey the Camera Nazi took a bunch of pics and I need to go through them and see if any of the others are blogworthy… I have a feeling some are.

Tonight: PINT NITE!!!!! Weird thing, I actually went four days in a row last week (Wed-Sat) without going to the Saucer. First time I’ve been away from the place that long since 2005. I just hung out at some other places last week (Hoop’s Bar in particular) and had such a good time that I didn’t want to leave. Besides, the Saucer had some really horrible Fire Sales last week. They were doing a better job throwing good beers into the rotation, and then last week the selections just completely sucked. Oh well. Tonight I get to drink what I want for cheap.

Coming soon: Where to find cheap martinis.

The Dempseys play Downtown Huey’s at 8:30 PM tonight. Although, it’s possible I won’t make it to this show due to a conflicting event in Midtown. If I miss it, it will be the first time since 2003 I’ve missed the Dempseys at Downtown Huey’s.

Coming soon to this blog: Info on cheap drinks and huge drinks.

Agenda for today:

Brunch at McGuinness
Walk to Flying Saucer
Listen to Pete talk a lot of trash
Beat Pete at pool
Notice Pete isn’t talking so much anymore
Hop a cab to Midtown.

I received the e-mail below this morning and wanted to share it. An important mentoring program that helps disadvantaged students at the University of Tennessee is in danger of being dropped because of stupid government bureaucracy. Please read, and if you feel like it pick up the phone or send an e-mail to protest.

——————-

Dear friends,

Your help is needed to create an internet howl of protest sufficient to reverse a decision that will be a blow to UT and a setback for a quality education.

UT’s McNair Scholars program is a superb resource. It takes kids from disadvantaged backgrounds who have made it to college and helps them prepare for graduate education. It is one of the most successful McNair programs in the country, and each year it also does a regional conference of other similar programs. I have volunteered as a McNair mentor to a young scholar five times, and found it to be a phenomenal program.

Now the program may lose its federal money (called the TRIO program) because its 2008 application was three minutes late. UT’s Office of Research Administration blames a slow link in the grants.gov site. Sadly, so far all attempts to correct have fallen on deaf ears.

Today I visited the local offices of Congressman Duncan, and Senators Alexander and Corker. All shake their heads, but seem resigned to accept the pronouncements of low-level persons who merely cite procedure, or who claim the money is already distributed (when they really mean they don’t want to change their allocation formula).

You can call these offices, too. However, I recommend the direct approach, making an appeal for reason and human judgment. You can make that appeal to the program administrator, Dr. Linda Byrd-Johnson (Linda.byrd-johnson@ed.gov, phone 202-502-7729). I recommend politeness but persistence, and spreading the word to other internet sites so we can magnify the message so it will not be ignored.

Today I saw a flyer in my apartment building saying that Calhoun’s Sports Bar and Grill is hiring waitresses. That must mean they’re pretty close to opening the doors. Calhoun’s will be located on G.E. Patterson Avenue (which used to be named Calhoun Avenue) next door to the Cheesecake Corner, in the space that used to a convenience store.

Calhoun’s has a website – not much there right now but hopefully they’ll update it as opening day draws closer.

You know you spend too much time at bars when… you’re walking down the Main Street Mall in the middle of the day on a weekday, and someone asks you, “Aren’t you supposed to be at the Saucer right now?” Not, aren’t you supposed to be at WORK, but the Saucer.

Not much to write about today, so here are a couple of links:

Dr. Ivan Misner, one of the nation’s foremost experts on professional networking, wrote a good article about e-mail and nutcases. I think we all know people of the type he’s talking about.

Street-People.com has a good article about bums in Confederate Park. Funny thing, I can see the park out our office window and I see the very people he writes about.

… and that’s all I’ve got. No idea what my plans will be for tonight. I may just stay home and use tonight as a “recovery night.” Although, stopping by the Saucer after work for a happy hour beer isn’t totally out of the question.