Tuesday update

– Mayoral candidate Herman Morris has proposed a “green” use for the Pyramid. He suggested that the city could install a photo-energy cell farm on the empty arena to generate electricity, reducing the city’s need for a coal-burning plant in South Memphis. The Daily News has more details (you’ll need to scroll down, it’s the third story).

– Speaking of the mayoral race and other local elections, I had an idea this morning… the concept of negative votes. What if voters were given the option of voting FOR a particular candidate, adding 1 vote to that person’s total, or voting AGAINST a candidate, which would subtract 1 from that person’s total? Seems like that would be a more accurate way for voters to express their true sentiments. I know there are a lot of people in this city who haven’t made up their mind between Morris, Chumney, and the other candidates, but they’re dead-set against Willie. In a race with more than two candidates this could be a really effective way to measure the will of the people.

It could even be taken to a national level. For example, in 2004 I wasn’t all that excited about John Kerry, and would’ve voted against Bush rather than for Kerry if I had the option of negative voting. Then again, in a two-person race I don’t know that it would make a lot of difference.

– According to the CA, early voters are hitting the polls in record numbers. There have been almost 30,000 votes cast so far and it’s estimated that early voting may make up 30-50% of the total. Early voting ends this Saturday, September 29. Have you voted yet? Here’s a list of early-voting locations, and you can vote at any of them, whereas on October 4 you have to go to your assigned polling place.

– Did anyone make it to EP Delta Kitchen for Monday Night Football last night? If you do, shoot me an e-mail and let me know what you thought of it. I was going to head down there, but I was at the Saucer and a friend who was having a birthday showed up, so I had to buy him a birthday beer. Then my opponents on the pool table kept buying my partner and me beers, and I certainly wasn’t going to turn that down!

– Tonight’s trivia night… we’ll see if The Rapscallions can get their third consecutive first-place victory. Last week we had a record 21 people on our team, and we took up an entire rail (the rail is designed to seat 6… the poor waitress had her hands full). The team sitting at the table behind us was blatantly trying to overhear our answers. This week I’m going to try to get there early enough to grab the other rail, which isn’t near any tables.

– For those of you who think East Bumblefuck is so much safer than Downtown, here’s a story from Eyewitness News about a woman who was carjacked in Cordova. It happened at the Kroger on Macon Road at 7:30 AM, and the carjacker fled with her child still in the car.

… And that’s all I’ve got for now. Time to get some work done.

Two things… Downtown dental site, and eat at Chili’s today to support St.Jude

Last night I took my laptop to the Saucer and got my entire Monday’s worth of work done. Yay! I’ve gotten in the habit of always sticking my tongue out at one of the waitresses, and I happened to sit in her section last night.

So at one point she came up and asked if I needed anything. “Yes, two things,” I told her. “Number one, I’d like another Dos Equis Special Lager. And number two, THHHHHHPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTT”

It’s a wonder no publishers have contacted me about writing a book on how to talk to women. I gots mad game, yo.

Anyway, I have two things for you, my readers, this morning, and in neither case will I be sticking my tongue out at you. First of all, a friend of mine sent me a link to the website of Jodi Rump, DDS, the Downtown dentist with an office on the Main Street Mall. This is an awesome site. Although, it took me a little while to figure out how to navigate it: Look for the arrows in the lower left.

Second of all, today is Chili’s “Donate Our Profits Day.” 100% of all profits at Chili’s restaurants for the day will be donated to St.Jude Children’s Research Hospital. So, if you haven’t decided where to eat lunch or dinner, why not hit up Chili’s and support one of Memphis’ finest institutions!

Probably back later today with another post… if you missed the one I made last night, make sure you scroll down and read about the awesome Monday Night Football party at EP Delta Kitchen. MN MF’N F at G.D. EP’s. That’s an acronym full of profanity… a profacronym.

Sunday update: MNF at EP’s, smoking at the Saucer

Home from Sunday brunch, and surprisingly, SOBER at 5:30 in the afternoon. A few quick items before I pack up the laptop and head out to get some work done this evening.

– Last night I talked to one of the bartenders at EP Delta Kitchen for a while, and he told me what they’ve got going on for Monday Night Football… they have the biggest HDTV in Memphis on order, and it will be here in 4 days. He said that during the games they plan on having beer specials, free chili dogs, free chicken wings, and free fried mushrooms. WOW. It’s nearly impossible to pry me away from Pint Nite at the Saucer on Mondays, but this just may do it.

– Speaking of the Saucer… an article in Friday’s Memphis Business Journal reveals that the Saucer will become a 21-and-up venue on October 1 so they can continue to allow smoking. DAMN!!! I was looking forward to it being smoke-free. However, I have to admit it’s the right business move – they rarely had any kids in there anyway, and far more of their business came from smokers than from families.

– Eyewitness News has a story about the city’s newest voters – those who live in recently-annexed areas of East Bumblefuck – and how they could potentially swing the mayoral election away from King Willie.

– Downtown Night at the Westin, the monthly event that brings Downtown neighbors together to mingle, happens this Monday night the 24th from 5:30 to 7:00. Good people to talk to and a very nice FREE appetizer buffet.

– In case you missed it, yesterday there was an article in the Commercial Appeal on the reopening of Raiford’s. Says the new owners are doing everything they can to make it exactly the way it was before, with Raiford acting as a consultant and DJ.

That’s all for now… heading back out to get a headstart on the week’s work.

BUSINESS NEWS: Downtown’s pigeons increase output by 15.8% in fiscal ‘07



This week a new survey was released, showing that for the fiscal year ended June 30, 2007, the pigeons of Downtown Memphis increased their output by 15.8%. A simple walk down the Main Street Mall provides plenty of evidence of the pigeons’ increased production.

“We’ve been saying for years that Downtown is a great place to do business,” said Center City Commission president Jeff Sanford. “And no one is more prolific about doing their business all over Downtown than the pigeons. We congratulate them on this fine achievement.”

Sanford pointed out that the pigeons showed a larger increase in production in the 2005 fiscal year, but in that case the numbers were skewed. “The Hurricane Elvis windstorm, which occurred on July 22, 2003, at the start of fiscal 2004, decimated the pigeon population. Things did not approach a return to normal until the start of fiscal ’05, so for that year we saw a year-over-year increase of greater than 25%. But this year is different. This year shows real growth, rather than recovery from disaster. This increase is sustainable. We have every reason to believe that we can look for another 15.8% increase in the pigeons’ output in fiscal 2008.”

Memphis Mayor Willie Herenton was invited to comment. “Well, just let me say this,” he responded. “I believe all of Memphis is familiar with my position on the pigeons.”

Mayoral candidate Carol Chumney, however, accused Herenton of tinkering with the results. “Come on, think about it,” she said. “You know his staff is out in the park feeding those birds every day, to artificially inflate the numbers so he can take credit. You think they’ll be out there after the October 4 election? Of course not.”

Mayoral candidate Herman Morris encouraged Memphians to look to the pigeons as role models. “We can all learn from the pigeons’ example. With a little hard work, it’s possible for all of us – whether we’re producing auto parts, paper, shipping supplies, or in the case of the pigeons, droppings – to increase our output by 15.8%.”

Some Downtown business owners have been searching eBay and Internet poster/framed art sites for pictures and posters of pigeons to hang at their workplace, as an inspiration to their employees. One eBay auction saw a pigeon poster sell for more than $150, with nearly all the competing bids coming from the Memphis metro area.

“It’s really amazing,” Sanford said. “The pigeons have become the unexpected stars of the Memphis business climate.”

Feedback from a reader on the homeless and panhandling

I received a great e-mail from one of my regular readers this morning, and am quoting the entire thing here, with her permission. If anyone has ideas to help with the questions she poses in the second half of her message, e-mail me and I’ll put you in touch with her.

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Just reading the newsletter of Calvary Church, the Chronicle, and thought your readers might benefit from a bit of the info about their ministry to the homeless done through their HUB.
The HUB gives NO money or anything of monetary value. The volunteers are trained very much in spotting scam artists. They provide help in getting a TN. photo i.d. card, plus SS cards and birth certificates for any state in the nation. This is important for the homeless in getting them into shelters, when they get stopped by the police, etc.

The HUB is also an oasis from hot or cold weather, a place to get a cup of coffee, water, fruit, reading material, informational resources, lockers for up to 30 days. No services are duplicated to the homeless by any other ministries. Calvary Church has years of experience in dealing with panhandlers and the homeless, and runs a very organized, tight ship.

Volunteers and donations are needed. The HUB is located at 146 Jefferson next to the Chinese restaurant. It is open Mon-Wed-Fri from 1:00 to 4:00.

I sure do wish a comprehensive brochure that details all the resources for the homeless located in the downtown area could be prepared and distributed all over downtown, to the businesses and restaurants and hotels, and given out by the Blue Suede crew to people they see giving money to panhandlers. This could be a brochure similar to the ones put out by the 12-step groups that show all the places and times of meetings. I think this would help visitors to Memphis realize these people do not need their money.

I also wish there were some signs placed at trolley stops, near hotels, etc. that state in plain English, large letters, “Do not give money to the panhandlers. There are plenty of places downtown where they can get water, shelter, help. They are usually NOT homeless. Support the downtown charities.”

Who would be the go-to person to get these things accomplished, in your opinion? Is there something like this already in existence? Thanks, Paul!

Happy hour appetizers at the Westin’s Daily Grill: A big hit

Last night I finally made it to Happy Hour at the Daily Grill in the Westin, and was very, very impressed. As I had been told, they have a happy hour mini-appetizer menu consisting of smaller portions of their regular menu items for $2.95 each. I ordered two of the items, pictured below.

This is what they call their “miniature” chicken pot pie – it sure didn’t look miniature to me! I stretched all the fingers of my hand out and it just about covered the pot pie, to give you an idea of its size. This thing is a meal in itself. I’ve heard that the full-sized version of the pot pie is about the size of Big Foot’s Sasquatch burger. My food took about 20 minutes to arrive, and at first I thought, “What’s taking them so long,” but then I remembered that I ordered a chicken pot pie, and realized that was a sign that they were preparing it from scratch and baking it in a real oven, not reheating it in a microwave. Very, very good.

The other appetizer I ordered was the seared ahi tuna sashimi, encrusted in black and white sesame seeds and served with wasabi, ginger and soy sauce. Again, delicious and just unbelievable that this cost less than three bucks.

I took notes on the other happy hour menu items. They are

  • Fried calamari
  • Popcorn shrimp
  • Spinach artichoke dip
  • Chicken quesadilla
  • Queso Fundido with various ingredients including ground sirloin
  • Hummus with flatbread and cucumbers
  • Side Kicks – two mini cheeseburgers with melted cheddar, Thousand Island, lettuce and tomato
  • Crab cake Side Kicks with remoulade sauce
  • Onion rings with blue cheese

I was delighted with my meal, but as I ate, I thought, “How can they possibly be making any money on this?” I got my answer when my bill arrived – the two apps were $2.95 each, but the pint of Blue Moon I had with dinner was an astronomical $5.75!!! For comparison, a pint of Blue Moon at the Saucer is $4. I had expected to pay more, considering I was dining at a very nice hotel, but I was thinking it would be more in the range of 5 bucks, rather than almost 6.

With that taken into consideration, would I still call it a good value overall? Yes. Those two apps still would have been a great deal at a dollar more apiece, and that would have brought the Blue Moon down to regular price as compared to other bars in the area.

Do I plan to go back? Absolutely, and often. Next time I think I’ll go with the crab cake Side Kicks, and either the queso or the hummus.

My early voting experience

Just got back from early voting. King Willie claimed in his press conference that there were problems with the machines, particularly that if you touched the screen near the top line above a candidate’s name, it would register as a vote for the wrong candidate. So I tried several times to do this and see if it would register a vote for the wrong person. In every case the vote was recorded correctly.

In addition, if you see that the machine registered the vote for the wrong candidate, you have the chance to correct it. All you have to do is touch your candidate’s name again, hopefully a little more accurately, and it unchecks the wrong candidate’s box and checks the correct one.

There are large text and high-contrast options available for those with vision problems. There’s a poll worker available for help if you don’t understand how to use the machine.

Plus, at the end of the ballot it summarizes the candidates you voted for. If any of the votes appear incorrect, you have the chance to back up and make corrections before casting your ballot.

My verdict: I don’t see how anyone could possibly mess up voting on those machines, given the multiple chances given to correct errors. I’ll say it again – I’m not surprised at all that the people who are too dumb to use these machines are the same people who support Willie Herenton.

Quote from Herman Morris

In preparation to early vote, I’ve been reading questionnaires filled out by the candidates on bettermemphis.org. Here’s a quote from Herman Morris:

“I will insist police officers get out of their cars and make contact with the community they are charged to protect and serve.”

BRAVO, Herman.

I was also very impressed with Trennie Williams’ questionnaire (Super District 8, Seat 2).

Heading to the Election Commission to early vote now.

Hmmm… Morris must be doing well in the early voting

Just caught the circus, er, I mean, press conference orchestrated by King Willie. There were actually two separate conferences, one with Herenton the mayor and one with Herenton the candidate. One of his comments was that Morris cannot mathematically win the race, and that the race is between Herenton and Carol Chumney.

To me, that indicates that his staff has been doing some exit polling, and Morris must be doing better than expected. So Willie is trying to play him off as a non-factor as an attempt to split the anti-Herenton vote.

Herenton also questioned the integrity of the Election Commission and its workers, played the race card, asked for federal monitoring, blah blah blah blah blah.

I’m going to walk down to the Election Commission office and early vote this afternoon – for Herman Morris.