Paul Ryburn's Journal

Watched the Tigers slaughter UAB at the Saucer. Afterward, I walked over to Shelton Clothiers where an awesome sidewalk sale was going on – bought three $100 shirts for $19.99 each. Then I walked to the Flying Fish for to-go food. Crawfish are back in season:

A pound of mudbugs, corn, and taters for $4.99. I’m eating them as I type this and it’s so spicy that my nose is running. You know the old saying – “suck the head, eat the tail.” And when it comes to restaurants owned by the Fish’s parent company, I’m all about the tail.

Food reviewer Fredric Koeppel wrote his last review for the Commercial Appeal this week. I can’t say I’m going to miss the guy. Although I occasionally agreed with the K-man (Mesquite Chop House), I generally found his reviews to be snooty, pompous and inaccessible to the average guy or gal on the street. When I have to have a dictionary beside me to figure out what the hell he’s talking about, it’s not good. I want to read reviews by someone who has the sophistication and taste to appreciate fine dining, but also the common touch to make someone like me, someone who appreciates a good Whopper from Burger King, take things up a notch. Koeppel never did that. I always felt he was talking down to me when I read his columns. Wonder if he retired, or if the CA took me up on the suggestion I’ve thrown out there for the past couple of years and shit-canned the dude.

If you’re sick of receiving a zillion text messages a day from the Red Rooster, text “remove” to their number to get off their list.

Since I’ve already been to the Saucer, let’s go ahead and get today’s beer report out of the way:

Previous total: $550.00

Beers 100, 101, and 102 (but 95, 96 and 97 according to the Saucer):
Maredsous 8 draft $5.50
Yuengling Lager bottle $4.00
Mendocino Eye of the Hawk bottle $4.75
Tip: $14.25 x ~30 = $4.00
Total $18.25

Grand total: $568.25

Eye of the Hawk was an excellent beer. It’s listed on the UFO ticket as an IPA but it really was not that hoppy. However, it’s 8% ABV, not a bad value for $4.75. It is going to become one of my go-to beers for days when the Fire Sale sucks.

Let’s see what’s going on tonight. South By Southwest Six Degrees of Memphis fundraiser at Ground Zero tonight. Come support some of Memphis’ most talented bands as they raise money to make the trip to SxSW in Austin… Mudflap Kings play the Red Rooster tonight. Good chance I might stop by for that one… 4 Piece Extra Crispy plays the Saucer tonight. They’re the descendants of Kings of the Delta and before that Ten Mile Bayou, with the awesome Hope Clayburn on sax… Henry Rollins at the Daisy tonight… and tonight it’s the Boston Celtics’ turn to beat the Grizzlies at the FedExForum.

Put this one on your calendars… one of the best bands ever to play in Memphis, Aquanet, will play the Red Rooster next Thursday for “Rock Out With Your Cock Out” night. ’80s hair band covers that kick a whole lot of ass. I’m hearing something about a Yuengling keg party that night at the Rooster too. Yeah I know it’s late in the evening considering Friday is a work day, but that’s what sick leave is made for. Come on out. If you forget I’m sure Robby, Bobby will be texting you about Aquanet 25 or so times between now and showtime.

All right. Lunch is over. Time to head back out.

Our CEO let us go early yesterday because it was snowing.  Not that I had to worry about driving a car home or anything, but still, that didn’t stop me from taking off at 3:00.

I was going to chill out and relax at the apartment for a while, but I got a text saying the entire gang was at the Saucer already.  So I headed up there.  The gang was seated at the bar, and would you believe it, for once I didn’t get chased down by an overzealous waitress and actually got to keep my tab at the bar.  My first three beers were my plate beers, so let’s go ahead and get the beer report out of the way.

Previous total:  $528.75

Beers 97, 98, and 99 (but 92, 93, and 94 according to the Saucer):
Grolsch $4.00
Negra Modelo $4.25
Young’s Double Chocolate can $8.00
Tip: $16.25 x ~ 30% = $5.00
Total: $21.25

Grand total:  $550.00

The Young’s Double Chocolate came in a really cool purple and orange can.  It has one of those widgets that makes the beer foam up when poured.  Normally I hate stouts but Double Chocolate is actually pretty good.

So we drank and talked and hung out for a couple of hours, then moved to the dart boards where I suffered one of my most embarrassing moments ever at the Saucer.  I lost at darts to Skippy.  That’s right, SKIPPY.  I don’t mind losing to him in a trivia match about operas of the 19th century, but darts???  That should never happen.  Since I’ve had readers request more Skippy pics, here ya go.

This picture must have been taken during Happy Hour, because you can see my super-sized Dos Equis Lager in the foreground.

After darts we decided we were hungry, and a group of six of us went to Sauces for dinner.  It took longer than usual to get there because a few of the gang stopped and threw snowballs at each other.  I was looking for a bum to lob a few snowballs at, but didn’t see any.  I guess the bums get snow days off from “work” too.

Here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating at Sauces:

Everyone had praise for the food at Sauces.  I had the lobster ravioli, which was delicious.  A couple of people got the BBQ Bacon Burger, which Otto described as “like the Baconator, but with really good meat and bread!”  The Nuh-Uh Girl got a seared tuna salad which was HUGE.  The Nuh-Uh Sister got the lettuce wraps, which she cut up and turned into a salad.  We got a pretzel and later some bread, which came with several dipping sauces, including a really tasty remoulade and a lobster sauce which everyone loved.

However, the service was not so worthy of praise.  After we sat there for six or seven minutes, no one had brought us menus so the Nuh-Uh Girl just went over and got them herself.  They had run out of bread and had to bake some more, and it didn’t come out until we were nearly finished with our dinner.  It seemed to take an eternity for them to get dessert out to the one person who ordered it, despite the fact that only a handful of people were in the restaurant.  By the time I got my check I was so annoyed that I decided to leave a $2 tip on my $18.79 tab – and remember, I’m a big proponent of tipping servers well downtown, and ordinarily I would’ve left $6.  Then it took them another 20 minutes to split our checks.  Then the server came over with a pen and said, “We can’t get the computer to split it right, do you guys mind doing it?”  Then the owner came out with the correctly split checks.  Well, almost correctly split – she got the Nuh-Uh Girl and Nuh-Uh Sister’s tabs mixed up because they have the same last name.  By that point we were all boiling mad, and I reduced my tip to $1 on $18.79, and even then I felt like I was being a dollar too generous.

So, would I recommend Sauces after that experience?  Yes.  I think so.  The food was outstanding.  I have a feeling maybe the owner gave her employees the night off due to the snow, and had a few friends helping her out.  I’ll come back and try the place again on a more normal day.  I just hope the service I got last night is not typical there, as it was the worst I’ve had since The Romanian Sensation left town a year and a half ago.

THREE text messages from the Red Rooster last night.  Guys, this is really getting a little bit ridiculous.  One a day I don’t mind, but three is excessive, and if I had to pay per text message I’d be calling them up and complaining.

Had a good discussion about restroom attendants over dinner, and Chad and the Nuh-Uh Girl helped me clarify my position on restroom attendants.  If they have stuff like gum and cologne and combs laid out, and I take some of that stuff I have no problem tipping them.  But I am NOT going to tip them for handing me soap or a paper towel, as I can get those things myself.  Nor do I believe I should have to tip them for keeping the bathroom clean and stocked with soap and paper towels, as clean, stocked bathrooms should be part of what I get in exchange for the cover charge.

So I ended up back at the Saucer with my friends Frank and Laura and Amie (hey, I actually know two Amies now – the other Amie cuts my hair).  We sat on the benches and listened to the West TN Wife Swappers for a while.  I was surprised by how busy the place was.  It was pretty close to a normal Friday night in terms of the crowd.  After a while we decided to go someplace quieter and ended up at the bar at McGuinness.  Our favorite bartender Amy was working and we hung out there until after 2.  Then we walked home (all of us live on the Main Street Mall).  As we walked I failed to notice an icy metal plate in the sidewalk, and BAM – down I went, with a landing that would’ve made professional wrestler Mick Foley proud.  I wasn’t hurt though.

Tigers play UAB in just a little while.  Time to get dressed and get out somewhere and watch the game.

A friend of mine who writes a feature on interior design for a local magazine has asked me to help her find stories.  If you are a designer and/or resident, and you have a project currently going Downtown, or one that was recently completed, she would be interested in featuring your work in her magazine.  It has to be Downtown, apologies to those of you reading the blog from other parts of the city.  If interested e-mail me (paul@paulryburn.com) and I’ll put you in touch with her.

Today I had lunch from Java, Wings, and Waffles, the new chicken and waffles restaurant on Madison in the old King of Wings location (just east of Second).  I got their special, $4.99 for 4 whole wings, celery, carrots, blue cheese, and a waffle.  I have to admit, now having had them, that I don’t understand the chicken and waffles concept at all.  The waffle came with syrup and butter, so I assumed I was supposed to eat it like a breakfast waffle, and did.  The chicken was good and the waffle was good, but I don’t understand why the two of them are supposed to go together.  Nor do I understand why I’m supposed to be a big fan of chicken and waffles because I’m a Southerner.  I hadn’t even heard of chicken and waffles until 2007.

The wings were quite good.  I got them Java Hot, which is the equivalent of extra hot at most wing restaurants.  There’s one level higher, Java Lava, which I didn’t dare try and which would be the equivalent of suicide wings.  Wings were meaty, sauce was good, and they gave me ample blue cheese to dip in (this was a big problem I had with King of Wings when it was there).  I’d rank them even with Big Foot’s wings, which have been my pick for best hot wings Downtown for the past few years.

I still have no clue what I’m going to do tonight.  Obviously I have to be at the Saucer long enough to drink my 3 plate beers, but beyond that I’m not sure.  Kind of in the mood to sit at Nate’s bar at E&H for a while tonight – I haven’t been there since my office Christmas party – but that’s kind of a long walk in the cold and the snow we’re supposed to get this evening.

The Tigers play a home game against UAB tomorrow at noon.  Haven’t figured out where I’ll go to watch it yet.  Who knows if I’ll even be awake at noon.  I’ll worry about it tomorrow.

So last night I posted a rant about restroom attendants and how much I hate dealing with them, even to the point where I’ll change my mind about going to a club that has them.  A reader e-mailed me with a good point – at least they keep the bathrooms clean.  He gave the example of a restaurant/club not far from where I live that lets its bathrooms get so disgusting (at least the men’s, no idea what the women’s rooms are like) that they’re practically unusable toward the end of the evening.  It’s not a bad idea to have someone who makes sure paper towels are stocked, that the soap dispensers are filled, that toilets aren’t overflowing, etc.

On the other hand, I still hate feeling obligated to tip the attendant for doing things a 4-year-old could do for himself, such as squirting soap on my hands and getting me a towel.  He’s there.  You can’t avoid him.  Well, you can, but only if you don’t wash your hands after using the restroom.

Anyway… don’t let my rant about the restroom attendant prevent you from trying out the Red Rooster if you haven’t already.  I really like that place.  Last night I watched owner Robby, Bobby paint a portrait of the band as they performed.  I like places like that, where the club is an extension of the owner’s personality (that’s why I like Raiford’s so much, although he doesn’t own it anymore).  Enjoyed watching the text-message banter on the monitors too.

It’s so cold outside that I wasn’t able to wear sandals to work today.  That makes me unhappy.  I’m a lot more productive when I’m able to wiggle my toes.  I had better be compensated for this inconvenience with some snow.

No idea what I’ll be getting into tonight.  Maybe I’ll research the options and do another post at lunchtime.

(PROFANITY ALERT:  If you don’t like cuss words don’t read.  This is a drunk post.)

Started the evening at the Saucer.  Their Spring 2008 menus are out and some of their prices have been raised dramatically.  Their flights, five 5 oz. glasses around a particular theme, were $6.50 each a year ago.  Now flights cost $10.50 for the “Build Your Own” flight and $8.50 for the others.  Of course, I discovered this after ordering a German flight.  If I had known they were planning to give it to us up the ass on the flight prices on the Spring menu, I would’ve made sure to get all my flights done while the winter menu was still intact.

Beer report:

Previous total:  $507.25

Beers 94, 95 and 96 (but 89, 90 and 91 according to the Saucer):
Tillburg’s Dutch Brown Ale $4.50
German Flight $8.50

Spaten Lager
Paulaner Hefe-Weizen
Paulaner Salvator Dopplebock
Spaten Bock
Spaten Oktoberfest

Kirin Ichiban $4.00
Tip $16.50 x ~30% = $5.00
Total $21.50

Grand total:  $528.75

After the Saucer I made my way to the Red Rooster.  That place is going to do well.  By 11:30 it was two-thirds packed, not bad considering it’s in the 30s outside.  Come rooftop party season that place is going to be SLAMMED.

They had a band tonight that did the best cover of the Beatles’ “Helter Skelter” I have ever heard.

However, I do have one piece of constructive criticism for the Rooster.  When I went in the men’s room, they had a restroom attendant.  WTF?  A RESTROOM ATTENDANT IS A BUM WITH A BOTTLE OF LIQUID SOAP.  I know how to squirt soap on my hands without assistance.  I know how to get paper towels from the dispenser and dry my hands.  I don’t need help.  I am not willing to tip a dollar for help which I do not need.  PLEASE GET RID OF THAT MOTHERFUCKER IMMEDIATELY.  Until they take my advice, I recommend that you do not shake hands with me if you run into me at the Rooster.  Seriously, I am a lot less likely to go to clubs where I know I’ll have to deal with (and bypass) a attendant every time I need to go.  My irritation at having to avoid tipping an attendant $1 causes me to avoid the entire club and avoid spending $25 at the bar.  I know a lot of other people feel the same.  It’s a concept that does not work in Memphis.  Maybe L.A. but not here.

Ladies, are restroom attendants as annoying in your restrooms?  Or are you glad to see them?  I know y’all spend a lot more time in the bathroom than we do.  Just curious.

Off to bed.

It’s just been announced that the Dave Matthews Band and Willie Nelson will perform at AutoZone Park Saturday, August 2.  For more info go here.  Tickets will be $55/65 and will go on sale on the 29th of this month.

Just got the most recent Livin’ It Up newsletter from the Center City Commission.  One interesting item in it… did you know that you can rent Court Square for only $25?  They mention that the white gazebo and all the lush landscaping could be an ideal setting for a wedding or family reunion.  They forgot to mention one of the park’s most prominent features though… the bums.  Just think, for only 25 bucks all those bums can be yours for a day!  If you were at any of the Court Square Concert Series events last year, you already know how much fun a party can be with all of them there drinking, cussing and panhandling.

Here’s one for the ladies… Blu Champagne is closing its Laurelwood location (4615 Poplar) and all its jewelry, evening wear, handbags, etc. are being sold for 75% off.  Store closes in 20 days, so hurry if you want to take advantage of this sale.

Also, I noticed that the gift shop in the Peabody that sells stuffed toy ducks and lots of other cute Peabody-themed knick-knacks is closing and its stuff is 30-75% off.  If you want to buy any of your out-of-town friends or relatives a Memphis souvenir, this might be the time and place to do it.

Had good luck car-wise today.  It was still in the garage despite having not been driven in over a month.  It hadn’t been mistaken for an abandoned car and towed, nor was there an “intent to tow” sticker on the window.  And it actually started.  And made it to CityHouse for my haircut and back.  Yay car.  I hope it’s another month before I have to drive again.

I intended to try out the new “Java, Wings and Waffles” place on Madison just east of Second for lunch today.  Looks like they’re doing well.  They had a packed house – of course, it only takes about 10 people to pack that place, it’s so small that Calhoun’s looks like the Wolfchase Mall by comparison.  I stood in line for about 5 minutes, and right as I got to the front the cook informed the cashier that they had run out of wings and wouldn’t have any more for 30 minutes.  I had my heart set on their special, 4 whole wings and waffles for $4.99, so I walked out without food.  Maybe next week I’ll get to give ’em a try.  I still don’t understand why waffles are such a great side dish with chicken, but maybe I will soon.

Had a BUSY day at work today, frantically putting together pages for a site that will be demo’d to the CEO tomorrow afternoon.  I enjoyed it though.  It’s nice to come home from work with a sense of accomplishment.

Tonight I’ll be able to enjoy the Saucer without getting punched, poked, insulted, cussed at, or flipped off, as my BFF has the night off from work.  Later I’ll be heading to the Red Rooster for “Rock Out With Your Cock Out” night.  I’m undecided as to whether I’ll go for the $2.50 Stella Artois or the $2.50 Blue Moon.  Both are excellent choices.  Still thinking I’ll head over there 9, 9:30ish.

Time for my first beer of the evening.

Yesterday on the Handling-Panhandling forum we finally got a picture of one of the city’s biggest scammers, Jumper Cable Guy.

Jumper Cable Guy has been seen recently in the South Main area, but apparently takes his act all over town and has been seen as far east as the Target on Colonial.  He’ll tell you that his truck is broken down and that he needs money for jumper cables.  If you happen to have jumper cables, he’ll tell you that he has a heavy-duty truck and needs bigger cables than what you have.  I’ve been told he’s been seen around town doing this for at least 4-5 years.  If you encounter this guy, call the police, as what he is doing violates the “false or misleading information” section of the panhandling ordinance.

Itta Bena was excellent last night for Downtown Night as always.  This week the complimentary appetizer was nachos, and they were better than the nachos served by many Downtown restaurants that have them on the menu.  The specialty drink to match the complimentary appetizer was margaritas.

I received texts that the gang was gathering at Calhoun’s to watch the game, but I had not yet done my 3 beers so I had no choice but to make the Saucer my next stop.  And when I got there I saw the most beautiful sign in the world:  “$2.75 FIRE SALE – DOS EQUIS SPECIAL LAGER.”  (Actually, I suppose “WARNING: FALLING TUBE TOPS AHEAD” would be an even more beautiful sign, but I’ve never seen that one.)  John D was at the bar.  Hey, thanks for texting me and letting me know about the Fire Sale, John!

So I was standing near the bar talking to John D, when my BFF (whose section was in the other room, 50 feet away) came up to me and said, “ARE YOU GOING TO BE AN ASSHOLE IF I WAIT ON YOU TONIGHT.”  I nodded my head yes and she said, “JUST GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING TICKET,” and I gave her the first of my three tickets for my plate beers.  Which reminds me, it’s time for the beer report.

Previous total:  $491.00

Beers 91, 92, and 93 (but 86, 87, and 88 according to the Saucer):
Peroni bottle $4.50
Coors Light bottle YUKKKKKKK $3.25
Sapporo bottle $4.50
Tip $12.25 x ~30% = $4.00
Total $16.25

Grand total:  $507.25

It really irritated me to stand there and drink Coors Light while my favorite beer was on Fire Sale.  I seriously contemplated suspending the 3-a-night-for-a-plate for one night.

I have an appointment for a haircut today at noon.  Since it’s cold outside I guess I’ll drive.  I have not seen my car in a month.  I’m seriously worried that the garage may have towed it, thinking it’s an abandoned car.  Guess I’ll find out in a few hours.  I still need to get the air conditioning fixed, but it’s not like it will matter much today.

Hmmm…. last time I got a haircut I stopped and got The Baconator on the way back to work.  May have to do that again.

Music Fest lineup has been released.  Sheryl Crow, the Black Crowes, and Aretha Franklin are a few of the big names.  Tickets go on sale at 3 PM today.  3-day passes available through April 30 for $63.50 plus Ticketmaster’s enormous convenience charge.

There’s also a story in the CA about the second story of Peabody Place Mall possibly being converted into hotel suites and becoming part of the Peabody Hotel.  I had heard rumors that Peabody Place would close this month, but from the story it appears it will stay open through at least May.

Time for work.  Gotta go.

Memphis Zombie Massacre is holding a fundraiser Saturday, March 15 at Neil’s.  Pezz, Evil Wizard Eyes, and Chasing Squirrels will play.  $5 cover, $3 for zombies.  For more info about the zombies check their MySpace page.  If you’re not familiar with the zombies, check out my photo album of them from last May.  (There’s also a photo of regular blog reader Mendi in a tube top in that album.)

One of my distant relatives passed away last night – Frank Ryburn, a community leader in the Millington area.  I believe he was a second cousin one or two generations removed.  Didn’t know him personally but sounds like he was a good guy.

For Downtowners who have thought about looking into Mpact Memphis as a way to meet people and get involved in the community, you have the chance to learn about the organization without leaving your own neighborhood.  Next Tuesday, March 11 they will have “MPACT 101” at the Majestic Grille from 6 to 7 PM.

Three plans for the future of Shelby Farms Park out in East Memphis will be unveiled tomorrow at 10 AM at the Central Library.  After that, Downtowners who want to view the plans and leave their comments can do so at the Cossitt Branch Library at Front and Monroe, where they will be on display from 10 to 5 Monday-Friday.  This is a chance for you to pick what you like and don’t like about the three plans, and help determine what will go into the final master plan for the park.

Good story on absinthe in today’s Commercial Appeal.  If you’re looking to try “The Green Fairy,” Itta Bena has it at their bar (once again, I’ll be there tonight from 5:30-7:00, not drinking absinthe though).  You can also get it at The Cove in the Broad Avenue district.  Jennifer Biggs also has a post about absinthe in the CA’s Whining & Dining blog.

There’s a new bum who’s working the South Main district, giving people the story that his car’s battery is about to die and he needs money for jumper cables or a new battery or something like that.  This is a violation of the panhandling ordinance – section 6-56-7, False or misleading information.  If you encounter this guy call MPD.  If MPD gives you the “what do you expect us to do about it” response ask for a supervisor to be put on the phone.

Really looking forward to tomorrow night… it’ll be “Rock Out with Your Cock Out” night at the Red Rooster, with $1.50 Miller Lite and $2.50 Stella Artois and Blue Moon.  Will probably get there 9:30-10ish.  I’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure out where I’ll be between the time I get off work and 9:30.

All righty then… I typed this post at lunch, but I want the post about the hidden rental market to stay up top for a few hours, so you won’t see this until around 3.

Forecast from the Weather Channel for Friday:  High 41, low 24, with rain/snow showers day and 40% chance of snow showers at night.  The high Saturday is only predicted to be 30 (which is 31 degrees below normal), so if anything falls Friday night, it’ll be around for a while.

Got a request from a reader this morning that I wanted to pass on to everyone… she and her husband are planning to move back to Memphis soon, and want to find an apartment in the Downtown core where they can walk to everything.  They checked out the listings under my “Apartments” page, but they wonder if there are more apartments or condos in the area that are being rented out on an individual basis.  They’re thinking of something like a space above a business or restaurant that has been converted into apartments, or maybe a condo in a building like Barton Flats that someone bought as an investment and is renting out.

If you know of anything e-mail me at paul@paulryburn.com and I’ll pass it on.  Thanks.  If you know or hear of a place, if you can send me the contact info as well as the address, that would be a big help.