Paul Ryburn's Journal

May be some disruptions in plans the next two Sundays…

This Sunday (the 16th) Big Foot Lodge is doing $2 34 oz. green beer in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.  The green beer will be flowing all day long.  Hmmm… usually we do our brunch stop (this week Majestic) for a couple of hours, then the Saucer for an unspecified period of time.  Perhaps this week we should limit the Saucer to a couple of hours (gotta be there for a little while though, so everyone can beat Pete at pool) and then hit Big Foot.  At midnight they’re giving away prizes to the person wearing the most green.  Probably won’t stick around for that.

Also, there’s a sign on the Saucer’s door saying, “We’ll be open for Easter Sunday (March 23) at 5 PM.” WTF? They’ve never done that before.  So our normal plan of doing Majestic 11-1 and then hitting the Saucer won’t work… we’ll have to come up with alternate plans until 5, most likely involving someplace with TVs since March Madness will be on.

Tonight I learned that TJ Mulligan’s has all-you-can-eat crawfish on Monday nights, starting at 7 PM, for $15. If you’re into crawfish go by and check it out. Former Sleep Out’s bartending all-star Frenchie is there as well.

I picked up some new T-shirts I got screen printed today. My friends Pete and Josh run a T-shirt printing business inside Winfield’s at Madison and Main. They can take any image and put it on a shirt for you. So I got a Pete the Trivia Guy (different Pete) shirt made, and wore it to trivia tonight. Pete thought it was quite funny. I got a second shirt printed as well, which will be on display sometime this week. Gotta be careful where I wear that one though, as there is an offensive gesture on the shirt.

We got second in trivia tonight. That brings our total to $275, assuming I get my plate done on time.

Beer report:

Previous total $605.25

Beers 109, 110, and 111 (but 104, 105, and 106 according to the Saucer):
Chocolate Truffle (Young’s Double Chocolate with splash of Framboise) $5.00
Black Dog Honey Raspberry bottle $4.00
St.Pauli Girl bottle $4.25
Tip: $13.25 x ~30% = $4.00
Free biggy Dos Equis Lager for hitting 100 beers $-5.75
Total $11.50

Grand total: $616.75

This is one of those days when I have to hit the reset button. Home at 9:45 PM, hours earlier than normal. I need a good nine hours sleep and then I’ll be ready to roll again.

Been toying around with an interesting idea lately… I’ve been thinking about changing my middle name.  My middle name by birth is Alexander, a name I have absolutely no attachment to.  I believe it’s the name of some relative who died long before I was born.

So I was thinking… if I changed my middle name to something beginning with a B, I’d be PBR.  How cool would that be… I could walk into Hoop’s Bar or Calhoun’s and tell the bartender, “A PBR for PBR, please!”  But what name would I pick?  Let’s see:

Paul Baines Ryburn – since Lyndon Baines Johnson was LBJ.  Hmmm… that would make me sound presidential.  Maybe.

Paul Brent Ryburn – not feeling it.  I just don’t see myself as a Brent.  Of course, I’ve never seen myself as an Alexander either.

Paul Brett Ryburn – hmmm, most of the Bretts I’ve known in my lifetime are really cool people.  Maybe.

Paul Barry Ryburn – hmmm.  Not feeling it much.  One of the new owners of Raiford’s/Hollywood Disco is named Barry.  Maybe I’d agree to name myself after him in exchange for free cover for life.

Paul Benjamin Ryburn – no.  There was a kid in junior high named Ben who brought a big black lunch pail to school.  He got nicknamed Ben “Lunch Pail” Wilson the very first day.  I’m not naming myself after Lunch Pail.

Paul Bush Ryburn – HELL no.  I shouldn’t even have to explain this one.  Actually, my grandmother’s maiden name was Bush, so there is a family connection.  But still – no, no, no, never.

Paul Blaine Ryburn – no.  The name Blaine makes me think of Blaine and Antoine, the two flamingly gay movie reviewers from In Living Color.   “‘Toine!  Don’t be mad!  Now this film… is about these hot, sweaty mens… all locked up in prisons together – dropped the soap, I’ll get it!  I give this movie two snaps up.”

Paul Blue Ryburn – this one is a serious possibility.  It’s good enough to be Pabst Blue Ribbon’s middle name, why not mine?  Besides, blue is my favorite color.

Wonder how much trouble it would cause me to change my middle name, as far as credit checks, background checks, that kind of thing?  I work for a background checking company, guess I could ask them.  Couldn’t be too bad – women change their last name when they get married all the time.

Not something I plan on rushing down to court and doing tomorrow, but maybe one day in the future.

Last night I posted that chicken and waffles was not a Southern dish but a dish that originated in L.A.  Well, I’ve since learned that I received some inaccurate information.  Kinda figured that my source on the matter, Skippy, a professional journalist, would’ve bothered to check his facts before he started flapping his mouth.

Luckily, I have a friend who knows everything – Otto, who e-mailed me a link to the Wikipedia page on chicken and waffles.  There are several versions of the dish’s origin but all signs point to chicken and waffles becoming popular among Southern African-Americans in the 19th century.  The recent national popularity of the dish is due to an L.A. restaurant, Roscoe’s, which has been serving c&w since the 1970s.

Then again, Wikipedia has been wrong in the past as well… at one point, the entry for “tube top” claimed that a tube top could have a single strap around the neck, which is absolutely, positively incorrect – tube tops do not have straps, as I stress every June when this blog’s theme is Tube Top Month.  But it looks like they are right on this one, as they cite relevant sources. 

Last night at Pint Nite the newest draft beer was revealed at the Flying Saucer: Yuengling Lager.

It’s been available in bottles here in Memphis for months, but now you can get it on tap. I know a lot of people, especially those who have lived in the Northeast, have been looking forward to this, as “Vitamin Y” has quite a cult following.

Hopefully Yuengling will show up in the Fire Sale rotation… if it does, it will be a welcome relief from the generic amber beers that tend to be Fire Sales five days out of six a week (Old Scratch, Abita Amber, Killian’s Red, Leinenkugel Red, Shiner Bock).

If the Saucer isn’t your thing, I have a feeling Yuengling will show up on tap elsewhere in the city too, as the beer rolls into the entire Memphis market. I know that the Red Rooster had something on their site about having a Yuengling keg party Thursday night. Be sure to look for the Yuengling tap at your favorite bar.

Tonight (or last night, since this will post on early Tuesday morning) we went to Onix to celebrate the Nuh-Uh Girl’s birthday.  Onix is the new chicken & waffles restaurant in the former Zanzibar space on South Main.  Here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating the chicken sandwich she ordered for dinner:

The main thing I have to say about Onix is, go there if you like wine.  I didn’t order it but several of my friends did, and they got VERY generous pours in the $5-6 range.

I ordered the hot wings and they were okay.  They warned me a couple of times how hot they were, and asked if I was sure I wanted them.  On the typical wing restaurant scale (and this is not the scale Onix uses) of mild, medium, hot, extra hot, suicide, the hottest variety on Onix’s menu were merely hot.  I like my wings the same way I like my Romanian girls – extra hot.  And the sauce tasted slightly sweet, and I don’t know if I’m down with that for anything above medium.  However, my friends had better experiences than I did.  One of my friends raved about the lemon pepper wings, and I tried one and they were quite good.  The chicken sandwich was also praised as having a very unique and flavorful set of spices.

Some of my friends ordered waffles with their wings, and they again came out with syrup.  I still don’t get it.  I heard tonight that chicken and waffles was a dish invented in L.A., not Southern at all unless you count Southern California.

Here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl with the mini-cheesecakes the Nuh-Uh Sister brought her:

And here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating dessert:

I got my plate beers done at the Saucer before the birthday dinner.  Beer report:

Previous total:  $594.00

Beers 106, 107, and 108 (but 101, 102 and 103 according to the Saucer):
Bass Ale $2.75
Woodchuck Amber Cider $2.75
Woodchuck Granny Smith Cider $2.75
Tip:  $1 x 3 beers = $3
Total:  $11.25

Grand total:  $605.25

God the girls at the Saucer are developing attitudes.  The girl who had a birthday March 1 is still asking me, “WHERE’S MY PRESENT.”  Hey maybe you would have figured out by now that I didn’t get you anything for your birthday.

Oh and the former waitress who used to call me Paulie Pocket made a guest appearance tonight.  She was not accompanied by her little zebra-haired sidekick this time.  I pointed out my BFF to her as the new most annoying waitress at the Saucer.  “Yeah, but no one will ever be able to replace me and Zebra Hair as the most annoying waitresses ever,” the former waitress replied.

Several more posts to come today.  People have suggested that I break up my posts into shorter blurbs and post more often, so I’m going to try that.  I’m typing up a bunch and saving as drafts before bed, and will post throughout the day.  On deck:  Bums, a new beer on tap, and an upcoming Sunday Fun Day when we’ll have to rearrange plans.

One of the owners of Calhoun’s e-mailed to answer my question about which TV station will carry the Conference USA tournament games.  CSTV will carry the Thursday and Friday games, and the tournament final at 10:35 AM Saturday will be on CBS.  Calhoun’s will have all the tournament games on, and will open early for the Saturday final.

They also want to let everyone know that they are getting the March Madness package and will open early Thursday-Sunday of next week for the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament.

I’ll ask around this week and find out if other bars Downtown are opening early for Saturday’s game.

What was I thinking?  I forgot the BEER REPORT!!!

Previous total:  $568.25

Beers 103, 104, and 105 (but 98, 99, and 100 according to the Saucer):
Taj Mahal $10.00
Singha Lager $5.50
Pete’s Wicked Strawberry Blonde $4.25
Tip: $19.75 x ~30% = $6.00
Total:  $25.75

Grand total:  $594.00

So I’m halfway to my plate (according to the Saucer’s official and incorrect count) and I’m just under six hundred bucks.  That’s about on track with what I thought, that a plate would run somewhere in the $1200-1300 range.  The second hundred beers will be slightly more expensive than the first hundred, as I run out of $4 beers to drink and have to go for the more expensive ones.

Tonight I face a dilemma as I keep track of beer costs.  Assuming the Saucer didn’t lose any more beer tickets, the computer will see that I hit 100 tonight and award me a free biggy beer of my choice, which of course I will redeem as a Dos Equis Special Lager.  A biggy XX Lager costs $5.75 and normally I would enter that as a negative number in the total, as it offsets the cost for beer I would otherwise pay for.  BUT… tonight is Pint Nite.  A biggy XX Lager isn’t really worth $5.75 on Pint Nite when I could get two regular pints of the same beer for a quarter less.  So I’m debating what to do.  Record it as $-2.75 and say it offsets one pint?  Or maybe $-3.50 to say it offsets a pint plus a little more?  Or just do the full $-5.75?  I’ll have to decide.  If you have an opinion on this very important matter please let me know.

Time to earn some money so I can pay for my second hundred beers.  Gonna try to work the day straight through without taking a lunch break, so I can get out of here at 4:30 and get to Pint Nite.

Good morning everyone! It’s 9:39 AM Central Daylight Time as I type this. Sunset today is 7:03 PM CDT.

I’ll be at brunch today at McGuinness at 11:00 AM CDT. Then around 1 PM CDT, it will be time to whoop Pete’s ass at pool at the Saucer. Might make a stop at Calhoun’s sometime between 6 PM and midnight CDT.

Speaking of brunch, I want to go ahead and announce that I’ll be taking a three-week hiatus from Sunday brunch April 20-May 4. This is not intended as a slight against McGuinness, the Majestic, or the Blue Monkey if it opens by then; it’s just that those three Sundays are Crawfish Fest, Wine Race, and Music Fest, and I tend to do my own thing at festivals.

Speaking of the Blue Monkey: People have told me that the sign is now up at the Downtown Monkey. They’re slowly inching closer to opening. Waiting to see a “now hiring” sign on the door or an ad in the Flyer.

The undead have informed me that Friday, April 25 is looking like the date that the Memphis Zombie Massacre will return to Beale Street and the South Main Trolley Art Tour.

The 30-1 Memphis Tigers head into the Conference USA tournament at the FedExForum later this week. Anyone know what TV station will cover the tournament? Hopefully not CSS. CSS is to sports TV what Thunderbird is to wine. CSTV would be perfectly acceptable… I suppose ESPN or ESPN2 (“ESPN Junior,” to use a Mikeyism) would be too much to ask for, given that 11/12ths of our conference sucks at basketball.

Speaking of teams that suck, fellow blogger East Bumblefuck Kat writes that Arkansas State’s new mascot will be the Red Wolves. The NCAA deemed their current mascot (Indians) not politically correct and forced them to change.

Looks like my Arkansas Razorbacks will be just barely on the right side of the bubble and make it to the NCAA tournament this year, probably somewhere in the 10-12 seed range, provided they don’t screw up and lose their first game in the SEC tournament.

Time to chug a Mountain Dew to wake up, then head to brunch.

Watched the Tigers slaughter UAB at the Saucer. Afterward, I walked over to Shelton Clothiers where an awesome sidewalk sale was going on – bought three $100 shirts for $19.99 each. Then I walked to the Flying Fish for to-go food. Crawfish are back in season:

A pound of mudbugs, corn, and taters for $4.99. I’m eating them as I type this and it’s so spicy that my nose is running. You know the old saying – “suck the head, eat the tail.” And when it comes to restaurants owned by the Fish’s parent company, I’m all about the tail.

Food reviewer Fredric Koeppel wrote his last review for the Commercial Appeal this week. I can’t say I’m going to miss the guy. Although I occasionally agreed with the K-man (Mesquite Chop House), I generally found his reviews to be snooty, pompous and inaccessible to the average guy or gal on the street. When I have to have a dictionary beside me to figure out what the hell he’s talking about, it’s not good. I want to read reviews by someone who has the sophistication and taste to appreciate fine dining, but also the common touch to make someone like me, someone who appreciates a good Whopper from Burger King, take things up a notch. Koeppel never did that. I always felt he was talking down to me when I read his columns. Wonder if he retired, or if the CA took me up on the suggestion I’ve thrown out there for the past couple of years and shit-canned the dude.

If you’re sick of receiving a zillion text messages a day from the Red Rooster, text “remove” to their number to get off their list.

Since I’ve already been to the Saucer, let’s go ahead and get today’s beer report out of the way:

Previous total: $550.00

Beers 100, 101, and 102 (but 95, 96 and 97 according to the Saucer):
Maredsous 8 draft $5.50
Yuengling Lager bottle $4.00
Mendocino Eye of the Hawk bottle $4.75
Tip: $14.25 x ~30 = $4.00
Total $18.25

Grand total: $568.25

Eye of the Hawk was an excellent beer. It’s listed on the UFO ticket as an IPA but it really was not that hoppy. However, it’s 8% ABV, not a bad value for $4.75. It is going to become one of my go-to beers for days when the Fire Sale sucks.

Let’s see what’s going on tonight. South By Southwest Six Degrees of Memphis fundraiser at Ground Zero tonight. Come support some of Memphis’ most talented bands as they raise money to make the trip to SxSW in Austin… Mudflap Kings play the Red Rooster tonight. Good chance I might stop by for that one… 4 Piece Extra Crispy plays the Saucer tonight. They’re the descendants of Kings of the Delta and before that Ten Mile Bayou, with the awesome Hope Clayburn on sax… Henry Rollins at the Daisy tonight… and tonight it’s the Boston Celtics’ turn to beat the Grizzlies at the FedExForum.

Put this one on your calendars… one of the best bands ever to play in Memphis, Aquanet, will play the Red Rooster next Thursday for “Rock Out With Your Cock Out” night. ’80s hair band covers that kick a whole lot of ass. I’m hearing something about a Yuengling keg party that night at the Rooster too. Yeah I know it’s late in the evening considering Friday is a work day, but that’s what sick leave is made for. Come on out. If you forget I’m sure Robby, Bobby will be texting you about Aquanet 25 or so times between now and showtime.

All right. Lunch is over. Time to head back out.